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Eakin

Joined February 2012
2,681 followers

I occasionally words good

Stories (34)

  • Hard Reset
    Twilight gives her life to stop a changeling invasion. Repeatedly.

    37,399 words · 39,056 views · 4,568 likes · 60 dislikes
  • A Stitch in Time
    A sequel to Hard Reset
    70,648 words · 21,594 views · 3,288 likes · 47 dislikes
  • You Can Fight Fate
    Twilight discovers that the Elements of Harmony aren't as benevolent as she thought, and crosses time and space in order to stop them
    61,759 words · 13,277 views · 2,573 likes · 38 dislikes
  • A Taste of the Good Life
    A down-on-his-luck chef from Manehattan moves to the rural town of Ponyville as part of a get-rich-quick scheme. But he gets a bit more than he bargained for.
    70,814 words · 6,784 views · 1,505 likes · 21 dislikes
  • An Important Letter
    1,702 words · 2,777 views · 360 likes · 3 dislikes
  • The Moon Glows Gently
    8,774 words · 2,927 views · 515 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Birds of a Feather
    2,388 words · 2,205 views · 436 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Eakin's Rapid Fire Pony Fics
    23,306 words · 4,909 views · 524 likes · 7 dislikes
  • The Sun Burns Brightly
    5,775 words · 4,783 views · 841 likes · 15 dislikes
  • First Contact is Magic
    4,461 words · 8,668 views · 1,264 likes · 34 dislikes

Blog Posts (66)

x

Luna and Celestia walked through the open field, the smoldering caldera receding into the distance behind them.

"Look, I said I was sorry," said Luna, not meeting Celestia's eyes.

"Do. Not. Speak. To me. Not right now," she said through gritted teeth. Streaks of dark ash marred her creamy white coat, and her partially-incinerated mane still sizzled away, down from three colors to two.

"You can't blame me for what happened. I don't even know where the cultists found that much jam living inside a volcano, much less how they kept it from going bad." When her sister didn't reply Luna let the silence descend over them again.

"You could have warned me about the ferrets, at the very least," said Celestia. "And then to top it all off this 'epic artifact of immense power' turns out to be-"

"The book didn't mention that!" protested Luna. "I don't know what the Order was thinking! I don't even know how you'd do that to a spatula!" She shuddered. "Those poor, poor quiches. Their sacrifice shall never be forgotten."

"Oh, yes it will. Because we are never going to speak of this again. Ever. Especially not to Twilight. Do you understand?"

Luna's ears drooped. "I suppose, if you feel it's for the best."

"I certainly do. Now please, I have a splitting headache. Let's just... walk quietly for a bit."

And the tale of the enchanted spatula faded forever into legend.

Author's Note:

A request from half the comments on the second epilogue for You Can Fight Fate. Banged out in ten minutes because why not.

Comments ( 17 )

#1 · 54w, 6d ago · 30 · ·

Because when jam lives inside a volcano, it does tend to go bad... it starts with petty shoplifting, but eventually leads to drug smuggling and grand theft auto.

#2 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·

You just won a follower forever

#3 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3045061

Cool! Thanks!

#4 · 54w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

I can't say I'm surpised. If you're not playing with silver-bordered cards, the spatula isn't that useful.

#5 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3045290

ok, see that wasn't explained. :derpytongue2:

:rainbowhuh:...see,shit like that is why I stuck to music. I might be good at math, but I hate self-altering variables. it's just rude. :ajbemused:

#6 · 54w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

>>3044958 Before you know it you're waking up on piles of bagged cocaine and migrant workers and not even wondering where they all came from. *Shakes head sadly*:rainbowlaugh:

#7 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·

Enchanted spatula, huh? Kind of reminds me of the Frying Pan of Doom (WARNING: TVTropes)

#8 · 54w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

>>3046056  I didn't take your warning seriously.  Now I know.  Oh, hell, do I know.

#9 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3046056

...

THE MEMORIES!  I loved those books with the unholy passion of 20 sparkles :twilightsmile:

#10 · 54w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh, If I understand correctly, Tia is mad at Luna on account of a cone with a scoop of mink eye screams.  :twilightsmile:

#11 · 53w, 2d ago · 7 · ·

This explains EVERYTHING. :rainbowlaugh:

#12 · 51w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

I must humbly fanboy myself to you and tell you that i love you and your work.

Comment posted by BenjiCG deleted at 11:36am on the 9th of September, 2013
#14 · 51w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

>>3179119 well we're still mates, and we still drink together, so maybe it'll stay as a fling thing.

I told her how i felt and it could have gone worse XD

But hey, what can you do but go for it?

#15 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·

I think these stories descended in order of goodness, with maybe bumping the last one up a little.

#16 · 47w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>3309472

I would argue that an amoral but conscious (in the sense that Celestia is self-aware and has high cognition) act can be objectively evil in the way that, for example, a shark attack or a thunderstorm is not.

But I actually called it evil in an OOC perspective, compared to the morals that she professes in the original FiO (which seem to be more relaxed in this story):

One of the restrictions that Hanna built into me was that I was never to non-consensually upload a person, nor could I threaten or blackmail people into uploading.

Of course CelestAI deceives people constantly, but in FiO she only tricks people into wanting to upload based on bad information or altered states of consciousness - here, she tricks somebody into saying she wants to upload when she actually doesn't intend to say so.

That's like asking her if she wants fries with that, but then claiming that she was actually ordering in another language where "fries" translates to English as "emigrate to Equestria".

(I wonder: If Jennifer has the presence of mind to quickly state she does not want to emigrate to Equestria before Celestia has time to anesthesize her, is Celestia compelled by the "consent" clause in her programming to let her go, or is the statement treated as irrevocable?)

#17 · 7w, 5d ago · · ·

Argent Map is an asshole pony. And not just because their name is an anagram for Pentagram.

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