• Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 5th, 2019

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I will be GLAD to edit stories, as long as they're not mature!

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Vinyl Scratch and Octavia? Polar opposites. So what happens when you put them in an enclosed space with unlimited time?

A whole lot of strife.

(May contain some strong language, just barely peppered in)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 22 )

Yep, you got me. That was near perfectly executed, and if it continues to this quality, I shall follow avidly. I hope I'm sensing background and character development here, because you've given yourself so many plot lines here. Well done

2350188 Thanks! I hope you'll enjoy this story. It'll get interesting, trust me. (Interesting may or may not qualify as touchy-feely stallions, night clubs, and splintered chopsticks.)

This looks interesting. I wanna see where this goes.

Oh lord. Splintered chopsticks and nightclubs. Definitely following.


I'm hooked. I can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

Rushed? Yes. Much so. I'll wait for the next chapter, though.
Octavia's condition was handled okay, but no Vinyl's PoV? I thought there were a few places where that would have fitted nicely.
Or maybe I just like Vinyl.
I don't know. Anyway, good show, but not like your first chapter. That's my thoughts. Have a good one.

2414366 Okay! I'm definitely going to revise this chapter. (Pssst! I'm going to alternate PoVs between chapters! As in, chapter one is situation one seen by Octavia, then chapter two is situation one seen by Vinyl. And so on and so on!!)

Looks like a decent story.
But the perspective throws me of, both trying to set the reader as the subject, as well as constantly being told what what "you" think/feel/do is disorienting, like a rather unsubtle text based crpg.

2466507 Yeah, still working on that.

2466507 Any tips on how to improve it? I'm really bad at this kind of stuff.

2584182 Alternating PoVs between chapters and in a...theatrical way fits me fine. The additions here (I hope I remember the original correctly, otherwise I'm an ass) mellowed the tempo with which a few scenes were handled, and now I have a feeling about which were important or not.
Octavia was well characterized, and her affliction is quite dramatic (In the best possible way), but, Vinyl? I don't know what your take is on her yet, So I'll still wait that one out, but I'm not going to complain if she is more emotional than her usual depictions. Might be nice to see a soft Scratch. I'm wondering about Octy, of course: This is goingto mess her up, be it a one time thing or chronic, so lots of emoments coming, I predict. All in all, major improvement: worth the watch

2584369 Both of them are going to act as (albeit terrible) lifeboats, and tears will be shed on both sides. But other than that, the kismesis relationship will be kept up.

2664798 Aww, thanks. I assume you like the story?

How long has the latest chapter been out? I've just gotten back online

2713796 You got me. I have no idea, but WIP chapter is moving along at a snail's pace.

So when's the next chapter?

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!!:flutterrage:

3062596 you have 22 hours. Just a warning.

3062596 So...

When's that new chapter coming out?

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