"My overall impression about Mormons is that they're... like ... ... ... white asian people." - a stupid melon fudge
Note: I wrote this and my other first two stories back in 2013 and I don't think they're good, but I still have them available to read if you like.
Celestia and Luna's awesome magic grants them the power to experience technology from other worlds and have male voices . . . Or some lame excuse like that. Read about them like a creeper without their knowlege as they play Final Fantasy X!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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People wanted it to stop after FF9 ?
2346516
Naw, more like after XII and XIII.
Use something besides "says" and "yells" Through the whole thing. It gets stale. Also, i think you could have captured the two best sisters play (two best friends play) characters better. Other than that, it's good.
Problems:
1. Margins
2. Spacing
3. Spelling
4. Length
5. Detail
6. Etc.
I reviewed your fic tonight find it here
5535285
6 out of 10 ain't bad considering I wrote this forever ago all too quickly and never really got good at writing.
yo Dr Eggnog (eggnog is best drink btw) your missing somthing
this bossnes NEEDS the random tag
5687315
Done!