1. Published 29th Mar 2013
  2. 27,871 Views, 90 Comments

A Pleasant Surprise - kalash93

Midnight has always admired Fluttershy from afar. Now, he has the chance to be with her in an amazing night of passionate love.

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#2 · 138w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Great story!

I will say that I discovered a one error, there were probably more that I didn't see, but "him memory" somewhere a ways down isn't correct.

Also, why would an earth pony be a volunteer from Cloudsdale?

Anyways, great fic, lots of "d'aww" as it were and great clop too.

#3 · 138w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Good story.:pinkiehappy:

#4 · 138w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

That was beautiful.

#5 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

I'm normally not into Anthro type stuff, but this was....hehe, A pleasant surprise.

#6 · 138w, 3d ago · · 3 ·

Really? You're a late teens male and yo never watched any porn? Nowadays that's all late teen oys watch....

#7 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·


I don't know where that came from. Care to explain? I I said that Midnight had never seen a naked mare in person, but he had seen them in pictures, films, etc... Of course he's seen porn.

#8 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·


Thanks for reading, Timstro.


I do try, Prince Lunar. I'm glad that you think that about my writing. :raritywink:


Thank you, Shadow Bolt.


The intent was to make it more sweet than sexy, PoniesAreMyBrain. It's actually somewhat based off of my own experiences with girls. It seems to have worked, judging by your praise. I need to proofread more.


Pretty much, Sayer.

#9 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

I'm rather surprised that my random rape fic spawned TWO spinoffs.

Guess everypony felt sorry for poor Midnight. :applecry:

BTW, I took the liberty of adding this to the appropriate group.

#10 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·


Did you like my story?

#11 · 138w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

Beautiful story. Not like most clopfics I've read, where there's just sex because it can be there and it has no background. Good job, 5/5 moustaches for you! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#12 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Uhm, I thought his name was Midnight?

“Unbelievable,” breathed he, as his orgasm finally started to subside. His and her movements became less shaky and more lethargic, even as Midnight continued to empty his balls into Fluttershy. Eventually, they were just grinding against each other. Sunny felt his erection soften, but his dick kept twitching and semen continued to be expelled from the tip. He felt the fluids leaking out around him as he finally went soft and withdrew entirely from his mare.

Am I mistaken?

Otherwise, awesome story...

#13 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·


My fail. *facepalm* This is why I shouldn't juggle multiple characters at 3 AM!

#14 · 138w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

Awesome story!

Just a couple of typos.


He named his schlong Sunny?

#15 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

That was just amazing

#16 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

absolutly beautiful:yay:

#17 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·


That was my fail. Sorry! I've fixed it.

#18 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

there is some grammar and spelling errors. other than that, good job.

#19 · 138w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

This was great! My only problem is the swearing during sex (e.x. Fuck, cunt, etc...) I know the characters themselves never said it but its just a personal thing of mine. I guess thats why I really like Jaydex's stories a lot. Anyway you did a really great job with this and portrayed a persons (errr pony's) first time really well!

#20 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Holy crap, over 900 views and dozens of favorites! I never expected this! Thank you all so much!

But 36 up vs 11 down? What did I do to deserve that? I took a look around at similar stories. The ratio is actually not too shabby compared to a lot of clop, especially canon character with original character. Second person stories seem to be an exception. Seriously though, WTF, haters?


Thanks for the feedback, HSHater. I've gone back and changed some of that.


Thank you, RioulThePonyOfAura13.


I intended to make a romance fic that was sexy, sweet, and realistic. I'm glad I succeeded. That was the point, ponyninja.


I do what I can, Beta Master.


Thanks for catching those. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, TheTownCrier.


My bad- that's what happens when you work on 4 fics at once. Thanks a ton, Snowfall1775


I do try my best. I'm thrilled with how this turned out. It's great that you like it, BookWyrm01

#21 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Hehe, I forgot bout that part of the story, sort of. But, anyways, I found it hard to imagine Fluttershy (or any pony) with big breasts, couls someone make a deviantart picture or something:twilightsheepish:

#23 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Not bad. I have to admit, I was not expecting Fluttershy to be so alpha. Also, I couldn't help but laugh at all the awkwardness.

#24 · 138w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Very very good I enjoyed most of it all. Although you have a few spelling and grammar errors but other than that it was really injoyable.

#25 · 138w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

One question; can it still be considered 'clop' if they don't have hooves? Just something to think about.

#26 · 138w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>2348204 you are very welcome. glad to help:twilightsmile:

#27 · 138w, 20h ago · 1 · ·

>>2348204 and please, call me Rio

#28 · 138w, 12h ago · 2 · ·

One of the best I've ever read :yay:

#29 · 138w, 21m ago · · ·


I'm flattered! Really, I am, KINGALICORN. That's a pretty big honor.


Rio, does this mean that I can melodramatically drag you from upload begging you to tell me what you think of it?

#30 · 138w, 4m ago · 3 · ·

>>2364335 Do you think maybe you could make a part 2 please?I've read 1000's of these stories and yours is on top of my list :pinkiesmile:

#31 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·


"On top of my list"

I CAME! Way too much.


I'll definitely look into it. I'm just blown away.:yay::scootangel::rainbowkiss::heart::pinkiehappy::moustache::twilightsmile::raritywink:

#32 · 137w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>2364481 For now on, I'll be your biggest fan :twilightsmile: If you ever have any trouble on what to write and/or how to write it, Tell me :pinkiesmile:

#33 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·


Thanks a lot!

Any followup pieces will probably go for a romantic resolution. I don't plan on writing another epic sex scene, but I never know what I'll want to do. A bit of clop is probably going to show up, but not anything like this much quantity or explicitness.

#34 · 137w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>2364648 Anything you write will be wonderful :yay:

#35 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·


Do be warned this this is my only wholly happy, sweet, romantic story. The rest are all varying degrees of dysphoric. Since you're reading, I'll give you a rundown of all my other current stories. Have at you!

Reflections is unambiguously my most philosophical and spiritual piece. It's also my second happiest.


Welcome To The Brothel is my most moody, experimental piece. It's my first sexual story, but it's not for clopping.


Shell shock is my darkest and brutal piece. I'm shocked that it got by with a Teen rating.


Last One Standing is my first piece. I think its my best. It's undoubtedly the saddest and emotional emotional one.


Racer And The Geek is my ongoing piece. It's ostensibly a romance piece, but it goes so much deeper than that.


#36 · 137w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>2364786 I'm know your stories :twistnerd:

#37 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·


So you've read them all? :derpyderp2:

#38 · 137w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

>>2364804 I wouldn't be someone's biggest fan from reading one story :ajbemused:

#41 · 137w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

>>2364929 It's the least I could do for such an amazing person :pinkiehappy:

#42 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·


I'm asking if you'd be willing to give me feedback whenever I have a new release or update.

#43 · 137w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>2365962 oh!:twilightblush: heh heh, oops...

sure!!! I'll even tell you if there is any grammar or misspellings. (sorry... inner grammar Nazi HAIL GRAMMAR! sorry...)

I am also a editor... probably one of the youngest, actually good editors on this site. No offense to any of you older editors. also, my b-day is in 11 soon to be 10 days

#44 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2366177 When's your birthday?

#45 · 136w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2405731 tomorow:twilightsmile:

I'M SOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

#46 · 136w, 3d ago · · ·


Fantastische! You get a Saturday brithday! How old will you be?

#48 · 136w, 3d ago · · ·

>> kalash93

But, this story wasn't under the humanized category :derpyderp1: im confused :raritycry:

#49 · 136w, 3d ago · · ·


You must be from the clopfics group. I didn't add it to the group. I took out the human tag because the characters aren't humans. Also, it attracted haters.

#50 · 135w, 5d ago · · ·

*sips coffee*

Yeah, not bad at all. Certainly not a clopfic, but I know you didn't write it with that intention anyway, so no worries. :ajsmug:

As a slow pace romantic scene between two (rather awkward) lovers, though, it still comes across as having too much unnecessary detail. I am a fan of romantic fluff, however, and I like that the characters are written in such a way as to compliment the other. Props for that. :twilightsmile:

Other than that, I don't really know how to rate this one. I liked it, but I feel like giving it a dislike. Ah well. I'll just say my piece in the comments to leave the impression of my thoughts as they are. :moustache:

*tips hat* Mmyes. Good day, sir.

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