In the face of loss, there is precious little we can do ease our pain. But sometimes ... rarely, sometimes, there's something left. Something that helps. Something new that soothes the wound.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Nov, 2011
- offline last seen March 12th
Cloudhammer
I never make mistakes. I thought I'd made one once, but I was wrong.
Cloudhammer
Joined 30th Nov, 2011 ·
Offline
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- Cloudhammer · 3.8k words · 23 10 · 1.2k views
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Is this your WBA entry?
2339514
Yep
2339571
Not bad. Nice work.
2340133
Thanks
2340137
Needs more comments though. Seriously, where the hell are they?
2340151
Probably more to do with me getting scooted off the front page in less than an hour and a half
2340171
Ah... rottenluck of getting it approved at a large inflow, eh? Well, no worries. You got what... 200 followers? They'll see this soon. Then the comments will come in.
And upvotes too...
.... and maybe some downvotes too...
2340190
Well, I figure the most will come from the WBA folks. But eh, I had fun writing it, s'all I care about
2340200
The downvotes? Seriously? Man, what a bunch of asshats.
Okay, I'll give it a look again later. I still have to finally finish mine. Before... Kerrigan calls again. Later dude.
2340204
Bah, it's all about Saints Row. I love games that don't even bother taking themselves seriously
2340212
Have you seen the story of Starcraft 2? It does not take itself seriously either.
Very cute and touching at the same time. Aulus's adjustment is really hard to even think about--a happy day gone as far south as it can.
A long time coming, but it was worth the wait.
Very cute!
There were a lot of fun little "Dawww" moments from a gryphon cub I haven't seen elsewhere, very adorable!
I also like your personification of Aulus as the grieving --> depressed --> Delighted --> Panicking --> Protective father figure while giving him some hope at the end.
I feel there was a little bit of rush in the hospital scene, bu that was more than balanced with the atmospheric graveyard.
Nice work!
A great read, my friend.
The characters are fleshed out and full of life, the setting that you've built is vivid, and the pacing is flawless.
I was really interested in the burial customs that you came up with for the Gryphon race; I hadn't expected a winged species to be so, for lack of a better term, earthy. It was really interesting.
The foal (cub?) was so adorable that I believe that my man-card is now revoked. Thanks for that.
Great work. Cheers!
I liked your use of the feathers for scene changes. It was a nice touch.
As for the rest of the story, nicely done. Griffon burial customs are pretty neat.
2370295
Thanks heh. I originally had it as a sky burial custom, but since I'd already developed it for the pegasi, wanted to have it be something unique. What I really wish I could have worked in is more on the griffon culture, but the story I wrote on that angle was losing touch with the prompt. But in essense, my griffons in this setting are akin to the High Roman Empire, pre-Fall.
PLus (and sheesh, am I late to comment on this one) Fanghammer here just wanted to beat me to the punch on getting a Hippogriff into text
. (
I'm Kidding)