Is not to be trusted with timetables.
40w, 5hRule 63
48w, 5dPonies in the Real World
38w, 2dRainbow Dash Fan Club
- Show All Groups
38w, 2dFlarp the Dunsparce Fan Club
31w, 4dHumanity sucks
45w, 4dFive Score, Multiplied By More
43w, 5dCC's list
42w, 4dHumans turned ???
37w, 5dSuper Best Friends
28w, 6dThe 1000 Up Vote Club
9w, 6dssokolow's Recommendations
24w, 6dHuman turns into X
10w, 3dBerry's Boy's (And Girls!)
2w, 4dGlobal Politics is Magic
2w, 6dSoon... 20 comments · 357 views
7w, 1dPoll decides what fetish I write about next! 14 comments · 590 views
7w, 5dOne day delay on my newest clopfic. Now scheduled for Saturday. night 14 comments · 395 views
9w, 6dUpdate on things~ 25 comments · 415 views
13w, 2dGroup made for TF/TG! 19 comments · 744 views
13w, 4dWell played Hasbro. (Episode 4 spoilers) 32 comments · 577 views
14w, 2dOh look at that number! 17 comments · 403 views
15w, 2dFive Score [Mature Version] is now hosted on FimFiction! 32 comments · 1,515 views
17w, 16hOh, who was that pretty lady? 20 comments · 642 views
20w, 4dTF/TG Clopfic! (exclusive to this blog post! Will not be published elsewhere!) 52 comments · 1,887 views
Quick note, there is also a Mature rated version of this story here on FimFic. People who want to read the Mature version (which has more colorful language, nudity, and occasional light clop) may do so by clicking my profile here and then clicking the story link on the top right of my profile. [Picture explanation] Oh, and make sure you have 'view mature content' on in your profile settings.
Both versions have the same story and are 95% identical, but people that are okay with reading graphic content will probably enjoy the mature version more.
Chapter 1: That wasn’t there before.
I click through links furiously. “Come on, there’s gotta be some new Dash pics in here somewhere, it’s been at least three days since I have seen a new one!” It's late at night, and I'm browsing DeviantArt looking for some new pony images. MLP:FiM ended a few years ago after its 5th season, and finding new pony content is just getting harder and harder.
A lot of the fandom died down over the years, new pictures still pop up here and there, but not nearly as often as they used to. The worst part is less overall content meant less specific content. I absolutely adore Rainbow Dash, but it is starting to get nearly impossible to find new images of her. I sigh as I realize DeviantArt has no new uploads of the blue pony. "I guess I'll just go through the archives and look for pics I skipped over before." Urgh, this is getting depressing.
I awake early the next day, and shake the last vestiges of sleep from my head. I had another one of those dreams about the MLP finale again. It’s been five years since the show ended, but I still get dreams of that episode. In all honestly, it was a terrible episode, pretty much everyone in the fandom agreed in that regard. Everyone said it was a stupid way to end the show. All I know is that episode still gave me nightmares, I’ll never know how they managed to air an episode like that on a children’s network and not get sued by the FCC.
At least today should be a good day. See today is May 1st, and it is my 25th birthday. I have friends coming over so I should probably clean this place up a bit. The party should be fun, my best friend Jack shares a birthday with me so every year we host a joint birthday party. I've known Jack for a really long time. Well, I guess it hasn't been THAT long, but it sure feels like it. We met in high school during a track meet. He was from our school’s rival team and was competing against me in the 800m. I met him on the starting line before the race and we just hit it off immediately. We only had about a minute to talk while we stretched waiting for the race to begin, but by the end of it I felt like we were already best friends. The race then followed thereafter, it was a hell of a race too. The 800m was always my best race, and I was shocked to see Jack stay neck and neck with me until the very end. I ended up winning by a nose, and I still give him crap over his loss, though he just rolls his eyes and claims I tripped him in the last 50 yards.
In any case, Jack is a great guy, so is his brother Evan. Evan was mature beyond his years, even though he is about the same age as Jack and I. His maturity probably has something to do with the fact that he runs the family farm. Evan and Jack live on this small ranch just outside of town. Their parents died when they were fairly young, so Evan had to mature pretty quick to take care of both the farm and his younger brother.
Though I admit, as much as I respect Evan, I kinda wished he hadn't planning on coming to the party today. You see, while Jack and I are pony fans through and through, Evan is anything but. Never was, never will be. Don’t really blame him, like I said, he’s a really mature guy who is more interested in fixing tractors than watching cartoons. Still a pity though, Jack and I love to watch old episodes at parties like this, but if Evan is around we usually keep the pony on the down low due to mutual respect.
The sound of a doorbell brings me out of my thoughts, looks like the guests have arrived.
“Happy Birthday! Hope you got room for all the strippers I brought!” Jack jokes as he barges into my apartment, both arms carrying a large load of beer and chips.
“Oh crap, you’re bringing some strippers too? Dammit, I had already ordered a dozen for the apartment already!” I joke as Jack drops the bags and gives me a hug that only best friends could share. “It's good to see you Jack, and a Happy Birthday right back at ya! The big Two-Five!”
“You knuckle heads have been around for a quarter century already, isn't that something?” I look up to see Evan standing in the doorway with a comforting smile on his face. “Happy Birthday, I got you something for the occasion”. He hands over a heavy box.
It open it up on the spot, it is a bottle of Scotch. I read the label “Langavulin Reserve, 25 year aged! Jesus, Evan how much did you pay for this!?”
“Ah it's nothing. It cost a bit, but I figure it’s cheaper in the long run because it’s a present to both of you. Saved me the trouble of buying two presents. 25 year aged Scotch for your 25th birthdays.”
Jack strode over and is in awe at the bottle. “Holy crap, thanks bro, you know I love Scotch! Let’s get some glasses out and pop this bad boy open!”
I'm in the middle of opening the cabinet when I hear a fourth voice speak out from the doorframe. “You know, you should wait until the perfect time before you drink something that special” I turn around and saw Fiona standing just outside the apartment and looking in through the doorframe.
“Fiona, get in here, how long have you been standing there?!” In all the commotion of Evan and Jack arriving, I forgot I also invited Fiona who lives on the other side of the apartment block. I met her in college a few years back, a quiet girl, she didn’t get out much. She's really sweet though, the type of girl you just liked to be in the company of, in a non sexual way. Things are just more calm with her around. Jack and Evan had taken a liking to her as well. Though even with all three of us being close with her, no one ever made any advances on Fiona. I’m not sure if it was because she was just too sweet to think of in that way, or if it was just because us guys didn’t wanna make a move on her which would make the other guys jealous. In any case, she was welcome at the party.
“What were saying about ‘waiting for the perfect time’ to drink this?” Jack asks while waggling the bottle of Scotch in his hand.
“Oh, well, you know, I heard in some communities it’s tradition is to take a shot of alcohol on the exact anniversary of your birth” Fiona says as she calmly strides in and hands Jack a large gift bag before turning to hand me one as well. “Oh and Happy Birthday by the way guys, hope you like what I made”
Jack takes the gift bag from her hand but didn’t look inside, he is still confused about the drink “Hold on Fiona, this IS the exact anniversary of our birth. You know a BIRTHDAY”
Evan cut him off “I think she means the exact time. You know Jack, like you were born at what... 5:37pm I think? It lists it on your birth certificate you know. So I guess you are supposed to take a shot at that time. Though I can’t say I approve using top shelf Scotch for shots...”
Jack pops the cork off the bottle “Oh be quiet bro, it’s already paid for, I say we use the Scotch. And actually, that's convenient, it’s 5:30 right now, we should get ready.”
I sit for a second trying to remember my own birthday time, I looked it up a while ago and used to have it memorized... “Oh yeah I remember my time! Wait, damn, that’s lame, my birthtime was something like 11:30pm, you guys are going to be back home by then. Oh well, let’s just do the drink to celebrate Jack’s time”
Jack starts to pick stuff off the table to make room, only to realize he is already holding something in his hand: The gift bag Fiona handed to him when she arrived. Jack starts to open it as he talks more about the Scotch “Yea that sounds good guys, any excuse to drink more is a good rule in my book. Let’s just get some glasses and we cAN OH MY GOD IT’S ADORABLE!!”
I spin around to see Jack holding a handmade plushie of Vinyl Scratch, his long time favorite pony. Fiona stood off to the side, beaming at what was obviously the product of her hand stitched work. I have to hand it to her, that plushie is pretty damn adorable, I'm actually kind of jealous. Wait...wait a second, she gave me a present bag too, didn’t she? Does that mean what I think it means?! I leap over a chair and sprint back into the living room, quickly finding the gift bag I had previously set down. I immediately grab the bag and tear the cover off. My eyes barely had time to register the color of the plushie’s hair before I gave out a yell of jubilation “AAAWWWWW YEAAAAH!”. I am holding a Rainbow Dash plushie in my hand, and it is pretty much the best thing I have ever seen.
Jack laughs as he looks at my present “Urgh, you just had to get him more Dash merch didn’t you Fiona? Don’t encourage him!”
Fiona blushes and shrugs her shoulders, but before she could reply she is glomped by both Jack and I as we fight over space to hug and thank Fiona for the presents. It's a pretty touching moment, but it's cut short by Evan poking his head back into the living room “Hey guy the shots are poured and--Oh great, more ponies, sheesh.” Silly Evan, he was outnumbered, with Fiona here it the ratio of pony fans to plebs is 3:1.
“Don’t be jealous, I can make you one for your birthday if you want Evan! Just tell me your favorite pony” Fiona smiles as we make our way to the dining table to do our ceremonial drinks of Jack’s 25th birthday.
“You should make him Applejack, being a farm hand and all” I smirk as I put Dashie down on the table. God damn that is one cute plushie.
Jack rolls his eyes “Oh god, not Applejack, don’t waste your time making a plushie of Ms. Utterly Useless Pony”. He is hugging Vinyl so hard I start to worry the seams will burst.
Evan remains deadpan through this entire ordeal “Fiona, you’re asking me for my favorite pony? Is there a pony that just goes around and kills all the other ponies?”
Fiona’s smile vanishes instantly but surprisingly enough, she keeps the conversation going “Well that would be Season 5 Discord, but I’m not making you one of him”.
I feel myself wince at the mention of Discord, and in my periphery I see that Jack do the same. I always wince when someone mentions Discord, I suppose it’s because I feel he ruined the show. However unsettled I might have been by the mention of him, I did have to correct an error here. “Well, come on now Fiona, technically Discord didn’t KILL the main ponies, he just, ah forget it, Evan doesn’t care, let’s just end this pony talk for now”
“Yes, please do” Evan says, still deadpan. He checks his watch “Alright guys, let’s get ready, it’s 5:36”
“Quarter of a century here I come!” Jack proudly exclaims as he puts Vinyl down and stands up with his shot glass in hand, the rest of us follow his lead and join him in standing up and holding our glasses in the air. Even Fiona joins in on this, which surprises me, I usually don't see her drinking hard liquor.
Evan starts a countdown “TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN...” I look around and took in the scene, these co-birthday parties always give the best memories. “FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE, DRIIINNKKK!!!!” Evan yells as I tip my shot glass back.
The smoky amber fluid burns as I knock it back “Oh wow, strong stuff!” I exclaim as I slam the empty glass down where it was soon met by the glasses of Fiona and Evan. “That was... mmm... peaty”
Evan agrees. “Takes out the fire, but leaves in the warmth.”
“What did you think of that Jack?” I say as I look up, and immediately become confused. Jack is just standing there, full glass of Scotch still in hand.
“Uh... Jack?” Fiona says quietly as she joins Evan and I in staring at Jack. He is just standing still, oblivious to everything around him. His eyes are unfocused and are just staring past everyone at something beyond the horizon.
Evan reaches out and pokes him on the shoulder, hard. Jack twitches and snaps back to attention all of a sudden. He blinks twice and looks around as if he is unsure of what we are doing in the kitchen. His eyes land on me and then he just stops and stares at me for a bit. I was going to ask if he felt okay, but then he tilts his head and squints for a few more seconds before opening his mouth “...Dash?”
“Huh? What about her?” I ask as I look around for the plushie to make sure it was okay. I spot the plush Rainbow Dash on the far side of the room, it seems fine so I turn back to face Jack, who is still just staring at me. I am about to ask what he was talking about when the moment was ruined by Evan laughing.
“YOU FORGOT TO DRINK! You big dope!” Evan laughs as he slaps Jack on the back, immediately breaking the confused look on Jack’s face.
“Haha, ‘dang it Jack, you had one job!’” Fiona giggles to herself as she pats Jack on the shoulder. Jack still looks a bit out of it, and he reaches down and scratches his thigh.
“You okay there buddy? Never seen you zone out like that, and in the middle of a party no less...” I say as I look at him closely. He looks fine now, but I am wondering what the heck he was trying to say when he looked at me. We were never the role playing type, despite my well known obsession with a certain rainbow maned best pony, in all my years I had never heard Jack never call me that name before. I want to brush it off as nothing, but something felt off.
Jack brings me back to reality by speaking up. “Yea I’m fine, I’m fine. I was just lost in thought or something that’s all. How long until we can drink these shots?” The three of us raise our eyebrows at Jack. “Wait... did you guys drink already? What the crap?! When did that happen?” We all continue to stare at Jack, no one quite knows how to respond to his rhetorical questions. Thankfully the awkward silence is broken by Jack shrugging his shoulders and saying “Whatever, bottoms up!!” He downs his drink in one gulp and drops the glass where the others went.
It was getting late, the party lasted until 9 or so and I find myself cleaning up the dishes. Fiona had just left, but not before I thanked her for the birthday present once more.
“Alright, I’m headed out, you kids have fun” Evan says as he waves to us on his way out the door.
Jack waves back and yells over this shoulder at Evan “See you tomorrow bro, don’t forget to check on Sara when you get home, her hoof might still be infected.” Jack decided to crash at my place tonight. It was a shame Evan couldn’t stay, but they do live on a farm and work there starts at 6am. Thankfully it's a small farm, just a few acres of organic corn that they sell locally. Their real pride is their horse stock, they have a dozen purebred Spanish Andalusians that they bred every season. A healthy purebred colt can sell for upwards of $10,000, and it’s pretty much how they paid their bills. The downside was when one of their horses gets injured, as was the case with Sara this week. It can be a real nail biter to make sure they don’t lose them, and their livelihood along with it.
Jack and I play some cards and have a few more beers before Jack decides to call it a night and collapses on my sofa. He doesn't even bother changing clothes, just falls asleep right there in his jeans and track jacket. Well whatever, not my problem, I don’t do his laundry.
I yawn and check the clock, it's only 11pm. I figure I have at least an hour before I'll be going to bed myself, so I might as well browse the internet until then. I make my way to my room and boot up my desktop. I start skimming some pony sites and forums to try and find anything pony related that's new. Soon I come across a random r34 thread. I pause for a moment, debating if I should open it. I'm not really a clopper, but I do sometimes look through these threads. If nothing else, it's a way to find more images of Dash. I turn around and made sure my door is locked shut, then proceed to open the thread and scroll through to see what they have. I stop when I see a link to an animated flash video titled “Shining Armor X Rainbow Dash. Duration: 2:30”. I stop and scratch my chin. I really am not into these sorts of videos, but fact of the matter is new animated videos with Dash in them are exceptionally rare. Maybe I'll take a peak to see if the animation is any good? My digital watch beeps once to signify it's 11:30, and I press play on the video.
> thunder at nighttime <
“...what did you do....”
> wind <
“if you’re not here to use them...”
> unbelievable speed <
“For five score, divided by four...”
Blink. Blink... blink. What am I doing again? I reach down and scratch my thigh. Oh, right that video, I just pressed play. I look up at the screen, but the video is over. “Huh, that’s odd, video must have bugged out on me” Out of the corner of my eye I see my watch. It's 11:34 “Wait... what? My watch just beeped on the bottom of the hour, how is it 11:34?" I look around me and try to think back. Did I doze off for a few minutes? Maybe my mind wandered to something? What was I thinking about? Something about.... pfft, hell if I know. Well whatever, it’s getting late, I'll just watch this video and then go to bed.
I restart the video, and wow, it is actually really well animated, it's practically show quality. I was looking forward to seeing Dash, but I notice I'm really distracted by how Shining Armor looks. I mean, the video is just dialog at this point, but still I can't help but notice how nice he looks. I feel a tad bit jealous of Dash, I wish I was the one there talking to Shining...
Suddenly I realize what I was thinking, and quickly shake my head to clear the thoughts. "What the heck has on gotten into me?" I close the r34 thread and shut off my computer. "Urgh, I feel like I need a shower now."
I go into to the shower, undress, and turn on the water while staring off into space. What a weird fantasy to have while watching that video. I never think about stallions like that, it’s just not my thing. I reach down and scratch my leg again “Man that was weird, maybe that alcohol is still in my system or something.” My hand starts rubbing my thigh as I close my eyes under the shower and let the water flow over my back. “Oh well, it’s not like anyone is going to know I was thinking about a stallion like that, no harm no foul I suppose”. I realize I am still absentmindedly rubbing my leg, so I look down to see what my hand is up to. Huh? That color wasn’t there before. I lift up my hand and blink to clear the water from my eyes, only to feel my blood turn cold at what I see.
Rainbow Dash’s Cutie Mark is emblazoned across my thigh.