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The pegasus who would one day become Commander Hurricane started out as a grunt. A patrol officer for the captured town of Pteryx, Hurricane recalls one incident during her time there that changed her view of the Pegasus Empire -- and of her close friend, Pansy.

First Published
3rd Feb 2012
Last Modified
19th Mar 2012

I really liked this.  I'm still trying to bounce around some of the details, but I'd love to see more of this.

>>185235

I'm late in responding, but thanks all the same! I had planned to write a version for each of the pony tribes, but I can't guarantee anything yet.

This story has been re-edited and resubmitted, in accord with this ponychan review. I've also submitted the revised version for a second review. The general outline shouldn't change much, but I might add or rewrite segments in the future. My eventual goal is to get it ED.com-worthy.

The details in here may also be fleshed out in another story I'm planning, but I can't confirm anything yet.:unsuresweetie:

I really liked this. Very well written, and quite touching.

I really enjoyed that the story was from Commander Hurricane's perspective. That was very well written. you receive +1 brohoof :pinkiehappy:

This was very good :D I particularly liked the representation of the pre-hearth world design

The dragon fight was a bit confusing otherwise this story was awsome :D!

This is a really good short story and imagining of the pre-Equestria world that I think fits nicely with what we know of that period and the characters who inhabited it. Hurricane and Pansy are portrayed well and given a delicious level of development, and I especially liked how well you were able to portray the bias that comes with a first person perspective,  making it hard to tell who the real "bad guys" are, if you could call them that.

Wow, this is just amazing. Your detail to the politics and nuances of pre-Equestria life is fantastic and the narration is spot-on, full of character and the reflection that comes with experience. It really feels like the real world reflected in this pony society; you do an excellent job here.

This was very awesome and well written!

Interesting...

I love this community. People can take characters from a show within the show and write something like this about them!

Truly brilliant. I love the style of writing; a sort of historic autobiography.

Not to mention you don't see much on characters like Hurricane so it's refreshing to see someone take on the eyes of a 'new' character.

Deserves way more views, and definitely a thumbs up and favourite from me :pinkiehappy:

Fascinating world building you have have here, and a great story. It definitely gets a spot on my wall of oneshots.

For a oneshot it was amazingly well written. Congratulations and thanks for sharing.

It always amazes me how you writers can take a character from the show and provide them with such a strong back story. And one which seems to not only not intrude, but even to fit so much in the cannon story. Kudos for that.

This was great!  I really like the character you gave Hurricane and Pansy.  It's also an interesting take on pre-Equestrian history, eh.  Have you thought about writing more about Hurricane's rise to lead the pegasi?

Late as I am, thank y'all for the positive responses. :ajsmug: It's great to see so much encouragin' feedback.

>>566318

No plans on that front yet, I'm afraid, but I have been considering fics on the other tribes as well. Don't quote me on that, though. I haven't fully decided how to tackle the idea, and might not get around to it for a while. :fluttershysad:

Really nice story, but it ran a bit too quick. I like it with more details. I still enjoyed it lots, though. :3

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