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pinkiepie3232 2773

Joined January 2012
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    pinkiepie3232's Stories (2)


    After the death of Blutarch Mann and the destruction of the BLU team, the RED team finds themselves without anything to do, until an urgent plea from Princess Celestia drags them into the Pony-Griffon war. Can they work together alongside Twilight and her friends to win the war, or are they doomed to failure?

    First Published
    3rd Feb 2012
    Last Modified
    18th Dec 2012

    Comments ( 183 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 67w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Humm....sounds good...have some starts..and a track

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 67w, 3d ago · · ·
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    good start, and an interesting idea, it could go one way or the other depending on how you write it out, looking forward to more

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 67w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Omgwtfbbq.

    What is this.

    Why is this here?

    Isi t good?

    Should i read it?

    ill read it

    *reads*

    Well now.

    im not sure what to think

    I think its going to fast

    yea to fast

    pace yourself more

    more detail and character building

    Cheers

    ~iraqlobstah

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 67w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Slow down the the story a little and this would be pretty perfect.

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 67w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Agreed with Crown8!

    Spend some time hovering in the atmosphere of the groups, write about their emotions, explain to the readers what they should thinking about, but this should all be left for the reader to figure out himself or herself.

    In the next chapter, go back to the carriage and have the ponies talk about their feelings to one another; being drafted into the war is not easy to cope with...

    then, after you feel satisfaction about the talk, go back to RED team, and throw all their thoughts at the reader, this gives a sense of confusion, and inner chaos, but I'm not the writer, so do it however you like, but positive feed back is what I'm aiming to give you!:twilightsmile:

    ???
    #6 · Chapter 2 · 67w, 1d ago · · ·
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    ....i don't like this tf2 fic for 1 reason......the tf2 crew are being treated unfairly

    #7 · Chapter 2 · 67w, 1d ago · · ·
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    moar

    quickly

    please

    #8 · Chapter 2 · 67w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>190338 I'm glad you like it. I will try to have a new chapter daily, but with school and everything I cant make any promises

    #9 · Chapter 2 · 67w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>190368

    That's cool, but this story is so coool! It needs more!

    #10 · Chapter 3 · 67w, 6h ago · · ·
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    FIRST!!

    #11 · Chapter 3 · 67w, 6h ago · · ·
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    lol that is exactly what i would expect them all to say. good job on the story here have some stars

    #12 · Chapter 3 · 67w, 5h ago · · ·
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    moar

    #13 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 6d ago · · ·
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    i bet now they find out that the ponies are vegetarian:pinkiehappy:

    #14 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 6d ago · · ·
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    first, good chapter, i think you got the personalities spot-on

    #15 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Really good! However, I think they would know what meat is. Cats and dogs don't have the teeth for eating veggies or flowers, so I can imagine that they would use some form of meat in their kibble. And in one episode, Fluttershy gives a ferret some fish to eat.

    #16 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 7h ago · · ·
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    Thus is the meat conundrum solved! Fish for the RED team! Honestly I'm waiting for the Heavy to use the, "we make good team" line.

    #17 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>218196 Well they have yet to do anything teamwork related, but rest assured the line will be said

    #18 · Chapter 4 · 65w, 6d ago · · ·
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    ... are you out of ideas?

    #19 · Chapter 4 · 65w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>222745 What do you mean? If its about not posting a chapter, its because i havent had any time to write anything lately. Dont worry, i will upload another soon.

    #20 · Chapter 4 · 65w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>223901 okay, i see

    #21 · Chapter 4 · 65w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>229083 Wow, someone actually understood the reference

    #22 · Chapter 4 · 65w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Dear god, it is coming true.

    Scout: rainbow

    Heavy: big Mac

    Engie: aj

    ...or something along those lines...

    #23 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Wow... here's hoping RED team give's Celestia what's coming to her.

    #24 · Chapter 3 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>195907

    Heavy Must have Sandvich!

    #25 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Celestia has spent too long in a state of peace. She needs to get on the freaking ball.

    And what better race to bring in for that than one that is constantly fighting itself? :pinkiehappy:

    #26 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    do i sense flutter/medic shipping?

    #27 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>247165 God I hope not:pinkiesick:

    #28 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    #29 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>247802 I'm not against shipping but human pony shipping is a little much

    #30 · Chapter 5 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Fluttershy: Are you sure this will work?

    Medic: Heheh. I have NO idea.

    #32 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    uh-oh is somepony gonna have to stab a bitch?

    #33 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    nice, 2 in 1 day, but the MEDIC is dead?!?! (also, with derpy, that's 7 mercenarys 7 ponies, i can feel the shipping)

    #34 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    You're still rushing things. And also try to watch your punctuations and grammar a little bit closer.

    #35 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Noooooes! Nightmare Moon! :pinkiegasp:

    #36 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>249174 "The assassin was SKILLED, but so was their medic" not KILLED

    #37 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>250224 oh, i see *self facepalm*

    #38 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>247953 -_- it's common enough

    #39 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Nightmare Moon obviously hasn't realized the fact that these mercenaries are incredibly skilled in everything. Not to mention the medic, who can make a person goddamn INVINCIBLE.

    #40 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>249171

    yyyyyyyyyyyep.

    #41 · Chapter 6 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Derpy X Pyro

    I HAVE PREDICTED IT!

    #42 · Chapter 7 · 63w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Hold it, Spy, don't touch that sentry.

    Oh, and the Griffons are absolutely goddamn SCREWED

    #43 · Chapter 7 · 63w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>276436 Methinks they have the BLU team, albeit without Blutarch Mann. TA-DA!

    :D

    I can dream, right?

    Applejack and her sentry, sittin' in a field. S-H-O-O-T-I-N. :rainbowlaugh:

    #44 · Chapter 7 · 63w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I expected Spike to get paired with Pyro. I mean, come on! A FIRE breathing creator and a FIRE breathing man!

    The chapter was a little short, and I didnt really get  a feel on how the characters were feeling with all this, aside from the little "were pleased with their partners."

    Besides that, it was cool. :pinkiehappy:

    And guns in Equestria? This I got to see.

    #45 · Chapter 7 · 63w, 5d ago · · ·
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    nice

    #46 · Chapter 7 · 63w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Rush rush rush... Going a little too quickly for my taste. Relax a bit, take a few deep breaths, enjoy the scenery.

    Derpyro? :derpyderp1: I've always known Pinkie Pyro. I can see some mischief coming out of this. XD

    One more thing: Slow down the chapters a bit. It may bump into your Fallout time (I know that feeling), but it'll make each chapter about 20% cooler.

    #47 · Chapter 2 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>190301 yeah in this celesstias a bit of a bitch more then im happy with

    #48 · Chapter 3 · 63w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I love how well you captured the TF2 crew's personalities.

    And Poker Night reference? Sweet.

    #49 · Chapter 6 · 63w, 7h ago · · ·
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    What, Luna evil?  Someone must be a Luna hater.  And did you just made a Fallout Equestria reference?

    #50 · Chapter 7 · 63w, 5h ago · · ·
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    >>293075 Im not a Luna hater, I just thought the story needed a main antagonist.

    #51 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>293371 Sure, what will happen to her after she's been busted?  

    #52 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>294443 That would ruin the story if I told you

    #53 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>294542 But couldn't you have used Nightmare Moon instead?  I don't want to think how Celestia will react after learning her sister is evil. . . again.  But I'm not saying your doing a bad job at the fic so far in case you got the idea.  Hope things work out.

    #54 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>295433 What I'm trying to get at is that Nightmare Moon never really changed and she has been pretending the whole time.

    #55 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>296396

    You just killed it.

    #56 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 14h ago · · ·
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    #57 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 14h ago · · ·
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    >>315721

    You gave it away bro.

    :facehoof:

    #58 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 12h ago · · ·
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    >>315751 Well, the fact that she was consorting against Celestia pretty much makes it obvious that she has not changed

    #59 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 11h ago · · ·
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    #60 · Chapter 7 · 62w, 11h ago · · ·
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    >>316257 Read chapter 6

    #61 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    1st, i think.

    But anyway, Cave Johnson's an asshole in this. DAYMN

    #62 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>317474

    Cave Johnson is an asshole anywhere my friend. That is a fact.

    #63 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>317521 should i assault him with his combustible lemons, i have them wrapped tight in a minecraft-tnt-style.

    #64 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>317531

    No thank you. If you recall he's been long dead in his canon universe. Well so has pretty much everyone else in the portal universe but, you know what I mean.

    Besides, If you want to harm someone do it where it hurts. He was a man of science so destroy his research... That would hurt more than bodily harm. Oh wait... Already done. *He clicks a button and the Aperture Science building implodes.* Gotta love remote detonators and mini-nukes.

    #65 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>317546 Awww, damn it, i was gonna hire pyro and demoman to help me destroy everything the old-fashion way. its not fun to just to watch his life's work blow up in a single explosion, but rather small, concentrated amounts of destruction and mayhem, to savor the pleasure of pissing him off, even after his death.

    #66 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    Who is this Cave Johnson who seems to be a very rude man? And I'm surprised Sniper didn't ask about Twilight's history since he told her his. Just one bit of critique:

    You rushed a bit right after that short little training session. Just a quick goodbye and then suddenly a quick Human-in-Equestria history. I think that, in the future, you try to add a few more details of the area/people before going straight into a conversation. Like, what was Celestia doing in her throne room when Twilight entered? Just a few more details can make all the difference.

    #67 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>317569

    But, he's already dead? Or wait maybe he cloned himself Idk? Really though Idc. Because I'm a force a nature and I'm out pally, peace! *Runs off after grabbing his bat.* ((Yes I did make a reference to the scout because he's my favorite class.))

    #68 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 6h ago · · ·
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    >>317573 Good on ya mate, guess i'll be seein' you around, then.

    #69 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 5h ago · · ·
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    It's good but Australians don't really call girls "mate". We call them 'Sheila' or babe

    #70 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 3h ago · · ·
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    Yeah, that sounds like Mr. Johnson alright.

    #71 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 3h ago · · ·
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    Alright Twilight lesson two, be polite, be efficent, and throw piss at people.:moustache:

    #72 · Chapter 8 · 62w, 2h ago · · ·
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    >>317570 short answer 'portal'

    i have a prediction... Johnson somehow transformed into a unicorn and was slaughtered by some outside force. and that this transformation from human to pony takes place after a specific amount of time spent in equestria

    ... okay, now i think you're just showing off.

    #73 · Chapter 8 · 61w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Judging an ENTIRE RACE based on the actions of ONE BEING?

    You'd think that, having lived for thousands of years Celestia would know better.

    #74 · Chapter 8 · 61w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Combustible cupcakes! :pinkiegasp:

    #75 · Chapter 8 · 61w, 6d ago · · ·
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    The Griffins are FUCKED, man. The Sniper will just pick all the blokes off really fast.

    And the Scout, since he's a Force of Nature, will just have the Griffins say goodbye to their kneecaps.

    #76 · Chapter 8 · 61w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I listened to the Magnum force theme while reading this, it's what the real meet the sniper theme is based off of. To bad Valve hasn't released it to the public. :fluttershysad:

    Anyways glad to see the next chapter up, and good job portraying the Sniper, good thing he stopped Twilight from drinking Jaratie, that wouldn't have ended well. :twilightoops:

    Oh one last thing, I hope Cave's death was cold and unforgiving. :trixieshiftleft:

    #77 · Chapter 2 · 61w, 5d ago · · ·
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    my only complaint. zat is not how ze medic vould talk.

    #78 · Chapter 8 · 61w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I AM GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH UNICORNS- Cave Johnson

    #79 · Chapter 2 · 60w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Reading it so far and I'm a little lost.  The TF2 team should at least have a passing knowledge of what unicorns, griffins and the like are; they're prevalent in our history (even though mythological) and whatnot.  They also don't strike me as being as crass as they're being portrayed; though soldiers of fortune they are, they're also professionals.

    #80 · Chapter 9 · 60w, 2d ago · · ·
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    First! Also, I like the emotion you put into this one.

    #81 · Chapter 9 · 60w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Not really alot of training here. You seem to be doing that a bit more with each passing chapter. Really try to fix that, as these are the chapters where the group not only becomes closer, but also stronger.

    #83 · Chapter 9 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>368158

    Words cannot properly describe the amount of win contained in this image. :yay:

    #84 · Chapter 9 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Still so short... It's like salt water taffy: tastes like the candy of the gods, but it only lasts for a little while.

    #85 · Chapter 1 · 60w, 4h ago · · ·
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    Eez good... Tracking.

    #86 · Chapter 2 · 60w, 4h ago · · ·
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    So far so good...

    #87 · Chapter 5 · 58w, 5d ago · · ·
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    “Wake up, dumkoph!”

    It's pronounced Dummkopf:twistnerd:

    Great story so far btw

    #88 · Chapter 8 · 58w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Celestia's a bigot. I knew it. Fuck that beeeeeyitch. I hope Luna's less of a racist.

    #89 · Chapter 9 · 58w, 5d ago · · ·
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    The Spy's vocabulary seemed off in a few parts.

    Also, there wasn't much actual training in this chapter either.

    Still looking forward to more.

    #90 · Chapter 8 · 57w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Johnson definetly deserves hatred, but what has RED Team done? So racist. :ajbemused: I hope RED Team changes Celestia's perception of humanity for the better through acts of hereoism, valor, and friendship. :twilightsmile:

    #92 · Chapter 6 · 57w, 11h ago · · ·
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    That Luna is a spy!

    #93 · Chapter 9 · 57w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Hmmmm.....makes sense that Spy is Scout's father because he did have sex and stared in porn with scouts mom. Dont believe me? Watch Meet The Spy.

    #94 · Chapter 2 · 55w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Celestia seems bitchy today...

    #95 · Chapter 5 · 55w, 10h ago · · ·
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    It's great, but you should slow down. I didn't feel the suspense during a life-saving surgery. Keep at it, your writing will only get better.

    Also Celestia is bitchy.

    #96 · Chapter 10 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    sheesh... scout's a dick.... than again, i guess that makes sense

    #97 · Chapter 10 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Im mad with you i thought u quit. :twilightangry2:

    But new chapter so :pinkiehappy:

    Now i sit and wait for Spikes soilder traning. :moustache:

    #98 · Chapter 10 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    oh god i expected derpy with the demo because they both are "disorinated"

    also i cant wait to see how the pyro turns out, derpy will probably understand every word too

    #99 · Chapter 10 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Yayz :pinkiesmile:

    So you didn't quit afterall :pinkiehappy:

    #100 · Chapter 10 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    There's a shit-storm a brewin. I can feel it in my bones. Rainbow Dash stole Scout's hat.

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