• Published 25th Mar 2013
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Why Am I Crying? - Rated Ponystar



The CMC each deal with their emotions when their hated enemy, Diamond Tiara, dies in an accident

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Apple Bloom 3

Why Am I Crying?

By The Rated Ponystar

Formally Edited by: Clavier, Mr. Minimii and Apple Cinnamon

Edited by: Unnamed Pawn and First_Down

Thanks to Catnipfairy for her artwork!

***

With the meeting over, Apple Bloom ran towards the house with the basket still tight in her mouth. The fresh smell of the apple pie it once held entered her nostrils, but any thoughts of hunger were quickly overcome by anticipation and desire. Something more valuable was in the basket, something that was worth stealing from the room of a dead filly despite the constant threat of a scolding for her shameful actions. Apple Bloom knew this was wrong, beyond any doubt she would be in trouble if she got caught, but she had to know what made Diamond Tiara act the way she did.

Reaching her house, Apple Bloom skirted across the wooden boards, kicking up snow left on the porch, before realizing a new problem. How was she gonna get the book inside without anypony noticing? Granny Smith or Applejack would be expecting the basket back, and if they found what was now inside they would tan her hide and ground her for life. Rubbing her head, Apple Bloom closed her eyes and tried to move that large organ in her skull into doing what it did best. Finally, an idea came to her, and she quickly rearranged the basket so that the book was hidden under the blanket.

Taking a deep breath, Apple Bloom opened the door and walked inside, hoping to sneak up the stairs and not use Plan B. That all proved to be futile as a voice called her name and she froze up like an icicle hanging off the porch trim. Turning around she saw her sister coming from the kitchen, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “There ya are, little sis. Big Mac said ya rushed off towards yer clubhouse when ya got back home. Everythin’ alright?”

“Uh, yeah,” muttered Apple Bloom, putting the basket down and shifting her hooves a bit. “Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are waitin’ for me. Ah just came by because we’re gonna be talkin’ for a bit and Ah was wonderin’ if Ah can get a pie for us?”

Apple Bloom smiled, hoping that her big sister wouldn’t see the big sweat drops she could feel dripping down the back of her neck. Applejack walked forward and looked down at her, straight in the eye. “That’s funny, Ah thought Ah saw Scootaloo walk past the house not too long ago. Where is she goin’?”

Inwardly cursing her luck, Apple Bloom replied. “O-oh, she went to... to uh... get hot chocolate for us from Sugarcube Corner!”

“We could have made some here in the house,” pointed out Applejack.

Apple Bloom did her best to fake a chuckle and nudged her sister’s front leg. “Well, nopony can make hot chocolate better than Mrs. Cake, right? Ah mean, just last week Big Macintosh was waiting four hours in the front of the line for just a cup of it alongside everypony else.”

This made Applejack smirk a bit before shaking her head. “Yeah, that big brother of ours always has had a darn weakness for chocolate.” She then frowned again and looked back at Apple Bloom with an uncertain glare that made the little filly gulp. “But Ah still get the feelin’ yer not tellin’ me everythin’. What’s goin’ on?”

Biting her lip, Apple Bloom tried to look away from the unwavering eyes, but she stopped herself. Doing that would only make Applejack more suspicious. Her brain went into overdrive as she tried to come up with something to say, anything to get her sister to not question her any further. Finally, something came to her and before she knew it she said, “We’re makin somethin’ for Diamond Tiara!” Applejack blinked once and her eyes no longer showed mistrust, but confusion. Apple Bloom, seeing this, continued, “Well, Ah... what Ah mean is that me and the girls feel bad about Tiara bein’... gone and all, so we’re makin’ somethin’ for the memorials we’ve seen in town. Somethin’ to show that, despite our problems, we feel sorry that she’s gone.”

That’s not a complete lie, thought Apple Bloom, trying to convince herself since only two of the three crusaders felt bad for Diamond Tiara.

Nevertheless, a warm smile on Applejack’s face followed by a hug made the little filly relax. “Ah, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack, “that’s sweet of ya. Ah’m proud of ya for bein’ the better pony and doin’ this for a filly ya didn’t get along with.” Her eyes then lit up. “Hang on a second. Ah’ll be right back.”

Without waiting for a response, Applejack quickly went up the stairs, allowing Apple Bloom the chance to finally let out the air she had been holding. That was too close.

She soon sat straight back up when Applejack came down with a photo album in her mouth. Placing it next to Apple Bloom, she said, “This here has photos of yer baby days with Diamond Tiara. Maybe they can help ya.” Apple Bloom didn’t say a word. She just picked up the photo album and stared at it like a lost piece of history. Applejack soon turned toward the kitchen. “Ah’ll go get that pie and let’cha head on back to the clubhouse.”

“Huh? Oh, sure,” replied Apple Bloom, who still continued to stare at the album. Now she had two books to read through, but the diary came first. Placing it with the other hidden book, Apple Bloom waited until Applejack had given her the pie before bolting out the door, ignoring her sister’s goodbyes and pleas to be safe in the cold.

***

Arriving back at the abandoned clubhouse, Apple Bloom closed the door, shut the curtains, and took out the pie, placing it on the ground before putting the diary and photo album next to it. After getting a plate and a glass of milk from the club’s own mini-fridge, Apple Bloom sat down and stared at the diary for a good long while.

It could have been a book about dark magic and Apple Bloom wouldn’t have felt as nervous opening it as she did now. Hidden in these pages was everything she ever wanted to know about Tiara. Taking a deep breath, Apple Bloom opened the cover and read the first page of what looked like scribbles that she could barely make out. Narrowing her eyes and taking her time, she read the first page:

Deer Diary!

My name is Diamond Tiara and mommy gave me this for my birthday! I am now four years old and this is the best birthday ever! All my fwiends are here like Apple Bloom. But the reeson why my birthday was so cool is becuse daddy manaed to bring Huffy the Magical Dragun to my birthday! He was so cool and sung all my favorate songs! It was the best birthday ever! I also gotta lots and lots and lots of presents from all my fwiends in ponyville! I can’t wait to play with my new toys when the sun comes up tomorow!

I should head to bed now, but I dowt I will get much sleep cause I am so eggsited!

Night Night!

Apple Bloom looked at the entry again and made sure she was reading it right. Sure enough, she saw her name and tried to remember such an event happening. She could vaguely recall going to Diamond Tiara’s birthday parties like every other kid, mostly because Ponyville loved parties, especially once Pinkie Pie moved to town.

Remembering the photo album, Apple Bloom opened it up, searching for evidence, some clue that could offer insight into how her four-year-old self behaved at Diamond Tiara’s birthday party. She almost missed it because Tiara wasn’t wearing her trademark jeweled crown on her head. In the photo, Apple Bloom saw herself trying to lick frosting off her nose while Diamond Tiara was laughing. Numerous other photos showed the two of them dancing next to a record player that had balloons tied to the wooden stand. In another one, Apple Bloom stood next to Diamond Tiara while everypony sang Happy Birthday to her. We looked like we were such pals, thought Apple Bloom, staring at the pictures in disbelief. But why? Why don’t Ah remember this?

Sighing, Apple Bloom looked at another picture, which showed a lot of colts and fillies, mostly from her class, all having fun at the party, back before cutie marks and special talents, back when they were all equal blank flanks. And now Apple Bloom barely spoke to any of them like she used to; even her last friend before she formed the Crusaders,Twist, had moved on to different friends once she got her cutie mark. They all did. The memories they all had as foals were now just whispers in their minds. Ah can’t even remember when Ah was even friends with Diamond Tiara.

Apple Bloom then gasped as she quickly looked to one of the frames of her and her two best friends inside the clubhouse. What if that happens to us? When we get our cutie marks will we find new friends? Will we abandon each other? Apple Bloom quickly shook her head. No! It’s different this time! The three of us are like sisters! Not even cutie marks will separate us!

She quickly turned back to the journal, wanting to focus on that than the growing doubts in her mind. The next few entries spanned long gaps, weeks and months. Diamond Tiara’s four-year-old spelling sometimes made it hard to understand and follow. Most of the entries were boring, but she paid special attention to the ones that mentioned her or Sweet Apple Acres.

Apparently, a favorite activity of Diamond Tiara’s used to be to come over to the farm, and Big Macintosh would gallop around the fields with her and Apple Bloom on his back. Or when she came for Zap Apple Season and jumped across the watering cans in the bunny suits. Apple Bloom couldn’t help but laugh upon reading how “fun” and “cool” Granny Smith was to Diamond Tiara back then compared to now when she made fun of her granny for being old and weird.

And as she read these entries, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but wish this was the Diamond Tiara she knew. How did such a kind filly like her turn into such a brat when she got older?

Turning the next page, Apple Bloom’s eyes widened upon what she read:

We are moving! I begged and cried and plea..plede... asked mommy and daddy to let us still stay in ponyville, but they told me that I have to be a big pony and move with them to some big stupid city. I don’t wanna leave here! I wanna be with my frends and go to skool with them. I hear the teacher Miss Wormwood and her asisis...assitan... helper Miss Cheerly is really nice.

May be Apple Bloom and her family can take me in?! Their house is really really big.

But... I dont wanna leave mommy and daddy... I guess I have to go with them…

I will write more tomorrow.

Night Night.

The next few entries were indeed about how Tiara moved from Ponyville to Manehattan, expressing how much she missed Ponyville and all her friends, including Apple Bloom who she always remembered. Ah don’t believe it... she really cared about me then... did Ah... did Ah really forget all that?

She skipped ahead a few pages, noticing that the dates between the entries were further apart with little writing in them. Any that were in there seemed unenthusiastic, making Apple Bloom wonder if Diamond Tiara’s experience in Manehattan was like Applejack’s, so she skipped most of them. It seemed nothing major happened until after Tiara turned seven years old:

I’m gonna be a big sister!

You heard that right! Mommy says she’s having a foal and that means I’ll have a little brother or sister to play with and take care of! This is gonna be great! I’ve always wanted to be a big sister! Maybe now I can have somepony to play with instead of the servants and tutors that come over. Mommy says the baby won’t come for a long time, but I want it now! Oh well, it gives me time to learn how to be a big sister. Maybe I’ll ask Mommy and some of the maids how they took care of me when I was a foal (Although Sebastian says I was a smelly baby! Ew! Not!).

Back when I was in Ponyville, I remembered some of my friends like Apple Bloom, Dinky, Archer, Rumble, and Sweet Peach having big siblings and how cool they were! I hope to be as good as a big sibling as Big Mac and the rest! I wish I knew how all my friends are doing, but they don’t send mail to me. I bet it was just the post office at fault, if they still have Dinky’s mommy doing the mail and all.

Anyway, Mommy just told me to get to bed now. I hope I dream of my new little sister or brother!

Night Night!

Apple Bloom smiled as she read the new entries with Diamond Tiara talking about how she learned how to cradle and rock a foal, change its diaper, feed it, help it burp, and more. She even started foalsitting her neighbor’s foal a few times. But as Diamond Tiara’s hopes and dreams for being a big sister grew, especially when it was revealed to be a little brother growing inside Mrs. Rich, something then clicked in Apple Bloom’s head.

She had never seen Diamond Tiara’s sibling. Hay, Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever heard her mention having one.

Curious about what was going to happen next, she continued to read but her eyes widened at what she saw next. The book slipped from her hooves and onto the floor with an echoing thud that replicated an explosion in Apple Bloom’s ears. Her shocked and stunned eyes slowly lowered themselves to the page as her mouth began to tremble.

Mommy... Mommy... Why aren’t you home yet?

Daddy just keeps crying and drinking that nasty drink he and you have when we have guests. None of the maids and butlers are telling me anything, but they keep crying as well. I know it has to do something with you, Mommy, because a police mare came and mentioned you. Did the train you were on suddenly break down? Are you lost or hurt? Mommy, I miss you and my little brother you’re carrying.

We were suppose to go to the zoo today, all of us, but you're not home. I’m... I’m really scared Mommy... please come home.

-Diamond Tiara

Tears dripped down Apple Bloom’s cheeks as she covered her mouth, staring at the book with the horrible realization that she had found her answer. She knew that Tiara had lost her mother, but if what the diary was insinuating was true, if what she suspected had actually happened, then this changed so much. Suddenly, she remembered there was a second name in the first entry she read back at Tiara’s house and she already suspected who it was. She prayed that the next entry would be about Tiara’s mother coming home safe and sound, with nothing wrong with the foal. Even though she knew this was very unlikely, she couldn’t help but pray that it wasn’t.

Nopony deserved to lose their mother and little sibling in one day. Nopony in this world, brat or not, deserved such a horrible tragedy.

Apple Bloom’s hopes were dashed when she read the next entry and began to cry:

Mommy is dead. My brother is dead.

Why? Why are they dead? I want them back. I want my Mommy and my brother back! Mommy was gonna show me how to pose like a real model! We finally came up with a name for my brother, Golden Pockets! We were gonna be best friends forever! I was gonna hold him and love him! I want them back!

I keep telling Daddy to bring them back, to find someway to do it! We have a lot of money so there has to be someway! Maybe he can even pay Princess Celestia to bring them back! But he just tells me to leave him alone and he starts crying. I want to cry with him, but he doesn’t let me even near him. “Too busy” he says, “Making arrangements” he says. I don’t care if he wants to make arrangements, I’m his daughter and I need my Daddy! If he wants to cry let me cry with him! That’s all I can do at this point is cry and cry and cry and oh Celestia why?!

Mommy! Golden Pockets! Please come back! I miss you! I miss you! Don’t leave me, Mommy! Mommy! Little brother!

I want you back so much!

Apple Bloom just closed her eyes, turned the page, and slowly read the next one with tears still in her eyes:

Dear Diary,

Mommy and Golden Pocket’s funeral was today. We had it at Ponyville, where Mommy and Daddy were born.

I never thought I would be coming home like this. Three years and all I wished for was a chance to go home. But none of my friends were there to see me, not even Apple Bloom, who was sick with something according to her old brother.

I’m also glad none of my friends were there to see me because... I did something stupid when they were putting Mommy and Golden Pockets in their graves. I... I jumped in, I couldn’t help it. Mommy always made herself looks so beautiful and graceful that that dirt was going to ruin it. I don’t care how sealed her coffin was I didn’t want her buried! I know she can’t come back! I know she’s dead and everything, but not like this! Not in the dirt! Not her! She deserves one of those fancy tombs those nobles in Canterlot have or even turned to ashes like pegasi!

Just not dirt! Not my Mommy! Not my Brother! They deserve better than to be eaten by worms!

They didn’t deserve this... I didn’t deserve this.

We’re... we’re going back to Manehattan for now. Daddy asked me if we should live in Ponyville again... so we can be close to Mommy and Golden Pockets. I said yes, but I would rather never go back and have Mommy and Golden Pockets alive.

I’m going to go to sleep. Maybe I can see Mommy and my little brother in my dreams.

-Goodnight

Apple Bloom put the book down and wrapped her forelegs around her for comfort. She stared at the pie, all nice and warm, but felt sick just by looking at it and threw it against the wall. Ignoring the fact that she would have to clean that up, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but feel enraged at her family. Why had nopony told her about this? If Applejack, Big Macintosh, or even Granny Smith told her that Diamond Tiara had lost her mother and brother when she was young, then maybe she could have understood Tiara better. Growing up without your mother? Apple Bloom knew that more than anypony else in the world.

It was no different than when her family refused to talk about her parent’s passing. They would talk about how happily they lived, how great they were as parents, but never a word about their deaths. To this day, she still had no idea how her parents died. She asked many times, but Applejack or Granny Smith would always look at her with a sad look and say they’d tell her when she was older. And her brother? He would stay silent, or disappear and not come back ‘till late at night with cider on his breath.

Apple Bloom wasn’t stupid. She knew they were never coming back. She knew it was a great blow to them all, but she wasn’t a little foal. She wanted to know everything about her parents, including how they died.

But the thing that she was upset with the most, right now, was that somewhere down the line Apple Bloom had forgotten all about Diamond Tiara. She remembered getting sick with a stomach flu around that time, and her siblings went to some funeral for a friend that she didn’t bother to learn because she was too busy puking her brains out. If Ah had gone to that funeral, would things have been different? Could Ah have helped her? Or even remembered her?

Taking the diary into her hooves once more, Apple Bloom hugged it tight to her chest, imagining it was Diamond Tiara. If somepony had said this was Diamond Tiara’s life to Apple Bloom just last week, she would have laughed and called them a liar. Now? She just wanted to hold Diamond Tiara and cry with her. Opening the diary, the little filly struggled to continue where she left off, hoping that somehow Diamond Tiara’s life had gotten better. She would even accept a journal entry of how she embarrassed Apple Bloom with some prank or another.

The next few entries were just a few sentences, mostly telling how the Rich’s new home in Ponyville was being constructed while they still lived in Manehattan. At first, Diamond Tiara talked about her father a lot, how he was coping with the loss of his wife, but soon Tiara just stopped talking about him altogether. That is, until she turned to the next page:

Dear Diary,

I hate him! I hate my Daddy! Ever since Mommy and Golden Pockets died we don’t do anything anymore! He just spends his days in his office, only calling on the maids for whatever he needs. Now he’s telling me I’m going to be spending the summer at some camp near Fillydelphia while he heads over to Ponyville to oversee the final constructions of our new home. I’m going to go to some stupid camp for three months while Daddy goes and does whatever he wants!

He says I need to get out of the house, find something to do to help me move on. Fine, why not let me stay with the Apples on their farm or maybe even live with my Auntie in Vanhoover! He just doesn’t listen to me anymore, all he does is work work work!

Ugh, this camp had better be worth it, but if he’s hoping to get letters from me he can forget it! I’m not writing to him no matter how good or bad this will be. I promise!

Stupid Daddy.... Mommy wouldn’t do this. I wish she was here.

-Diamond Tiara

Diamond Tiara? In a camp? Unless it’s for high society-like ponies Ah’d doubt she’d last a minute, thought Apple Bloom, remembering the stories her older brother told her when he went to camp growing up. All the tales of rough housing, dirty activities, rules and regulations, not to mention all the different kinds of ponies that may or may not be kind and supportive, all of it spelled the possibility of a bad trip for somepony like Diamond Tiara.

Sure enough, the next entry proved Apple Bloom right:

Dear Diary,

It’s day eight here in camp and I hate it. It’s been a nightmare ever since I stepped one hoof on this place. The camp smells, the food is awful, the councilors don’t even care about us that much, and I’m always getting dirty. The worst thing is the other fillies and colts. A lot of them are older then me and while most of them just ignore me, or whisper about me behind my back. But the worst is this group of older colts that are always making fun of me for being a blank flank, calling me a little baby. They also think I’m some kind of brat because I’m rich, asking me why I’m here instead of being in a fancy foo-foo ball with the Princess.

I’ve tried being nice to them, but all they do is spit at me, insult me, and throw me in the mud. And I don’t know why! I’ve never done anything to them! None of the other campers try to help me, they either just ignore me or watch with amusement. I hate this place and the adults do nothing to help me! I’ve tried telling a counselor once that those older colts stole my clothes from my drawer, but that only made things worse.

Everypony then called me a “snitch” and hated me even more. I don’t get it, aren’t we suppose to tell adults when we’re being bullied? And worse of all, when they learned I told on them, those boys had the nerve to dunk my head in a toilet! They almost flushed the tiara Mommy gave me for my last birthday until I kicked one in the private parts, took my tiara back, and ran like a dragon was behind me!

Now that I’m a “snitch”, pretty much everypony is ignoring me or giving me dirty looks. The only one who hasn’t been doing so is this other filly named Silver Spoon. From what I learned she’s a rich from Ponyville, just like me, and is also being bullied. Maybe I can talk to her?

Why is Daddy punishing me by sending me here! I just want to go home! I’m tempted to send him letters, explaining what’s going on here, but I’m still angry at him and I won’t break my promise!

-Diamond Tiara.

Apple Bloom’s interest peaked as she reread the entry again. She had been curious as to how Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara met to begin with, often thinking it was at some fancy, rich pony party and their parents knew each other. In some ways, Apple Bloom realized that the formation of the Crusaders was somewhat similar to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon if her hunch was correct. Both her and Diamond had been bullied, were blank flanks, and found friends similar to them.

But the difference was that Diamond Tiara became a bully. It was like her cousin Babs all over again, but Tiara, to her knowledge, wasn’t bullied in Ponyville. So why did she become the bossy brat? Was she afraid of being bullied again like what happened at that camp? What about Silver Spoon? Did she join in afterwards, or was it something they both came up with together?

Figuring she would get her answers later, Apple Bloom read the next entry:

Dear Diary,

I finally made a friend! I wrote about Silver Spoon last time, right? She was really shy, asking if I was gonna make fun of her huge glasses or for that teddy bear she’s always carrying around. I told her no, and we started talking. It’s really cool sharing stories with another rich filly. I met some back in Manehattan, but they weren’t interesting. They were the snobby ones that always like to talk about how they were gonna earn all their parents money.

Those are the ones the bullies should target, not me and Silver Spoon.

Anyway, since we both learned how easy targets we were, we quickly promised to watch each other's back since we’re both kind of in the same boat. Turns out we had the same tormentors too in those older boys I mentioned before. Most of the others either just ignore us or call us names like “blank flanks” or “rich brats.”

Although, I was shocked to find that Silver Spoon chose to come here, but quickly found out why. Her Mommy and Daddy are splitting up, because they keep fighting all the time. Silver Spoon couldn’t take it anymore so she decided to go to a random camp she found to get away from it, her parents just letting her do what she wanted.

I guess that’s another thing we both have in common: family problems. My Mommy is gone and my Daddy just ignores me and drinks his nasty stuff. And Silver Spoon has her parents no longer in love with each other and always fighting. Guess we make quite a pair, huh?

-Diamond Tiara

Apple Bloom smiled, relieved to see that both of them had finally found a friend. Even though this was the same duo that did everything they could to make the Crusaders’ lives miserable, she couldn’t help but be happy for Diamond Tiara. Apple Bloom paused in her reading. Knowing all this information about Tiara, did it really change anything?

Is this really an excuse for all the trouble she put me and the others through? Ah mean, they were still bullies. But they became bullies because they were bullied too. But does that excuse them? thought Apple Bloom, holding her head in pain. Ugh, mah head hurts from all this thinkin’.

She looked at the next few entries and soon found her pain and annoyance replaced by disgust and horror. Apple Bloom couldn’t believe what she was reading with the next few entries, but in her heart she knew these were true. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had done terrible things as bullies, but what she read went far beyond their worst acts. What their constant bullies, the older boys, did to these two fillies was torture, plain and simple, in every definition of the word.

Her eyes blazed over the pages, finding sentences that made her sick just by reading them:

...sat on our backs while they peed all over us. Said we made good toilets…

...just burned her bear and we were helpless to stop them! I’ve never seen Silver Spoon cry so much…

...we held each other, our tears silently dripping as we waited for them to pass. I want my Daddy…

...blamed me for his dad losing his job, said all us rich folks were just making good decent families likes his suffer.

...too far. They have gone too far! By the time I finally found Silver Spoon in the woods, roped up to a tree, she had her glasses broke and was so scared. I held her and brought to the nurses office. I don’t care about hating Daddy anymore, I’m telling him everything. They want to see a rich families money be used. Fine! Watch as we sue them all and make them pay for what they had done.

Dear Diary,

It’s finally over. The camp is being shut down and many of the adults are being questioned for letting things get out of hoof. They all keep blaming the headmaster who ordered them to be quiet about these complaints and incidents, but I don’t care. I hope those bullies who hurt me and Silver Spoon like having their families lose everything they own when they get sued. My Daddy and Silver Spoon’s Mommy are on the warpath for getting back at anypony who hurt us.

Daddy won’t stop telling me how sorry he is for putting me in that horrible place, and swears to never do it again. I told him all I want is to go home to Ponyville and start school like I’ve always wanted. He seems better too, he says it’s thanks to Big Macintosh.

I can’t help but feel I could have stopped all of this had I just been smart and told Daddy what was happening in the first place, instead of just being angry and stubborn at him. At least Silver Spoon wouldn’t have suffered so much. I hope she and her Mommy are gonna be okay, it’s sad her Daddy left and didn’t bother to say goodbye to her. I should look her up when we get back to Ponyville, she could use a friend. Both of us can. Maybe she can be friends with my old friends.... if they remember me. It’s been so long.

I also can’t help but admire my Daddy, using our power and money like he did. Is this... is this something I can do as well? Use the wealth my family has to make sure that me and those I care about aren’t hurt again? Maybe its time I start learning out of my Daddy’s book.

I’m tired now. Sleep time. Maybe I can dream peacefully without having somepony put shaving cream on my hoof and tickling me with a feather.

-Diamond Tiara

Relieved that the worst was over, for now, Apple Bloom shook her head. Ah’m glad Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon didn’t do half the things to me that happened to them. How can some ponies be so mean? Why did they even do it? Just because Tiara and Silver were rich? That’s not a good excuse! Apple Bloom then bit her lip, But haven’t they also made fun of others because they were poorer than them? Celestia knows me and Scootaloo have been teased for that as well.

Apple Bloom was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she jumped when she heard the cuckoo clock go off. Looking at it, she realized it was almost time for supper.

Deciding to read a bit more, Apple Bloom hurried past a few pages until she got to Diamond Tiara’s return to Ponyville.

It’s so different now, Diary.

Everypony is different now. Most of my old friends don’t remember knowing a filly named Diamond Tiara when they were little. Some of them did when I jogged their memory, but they didn’t seem interested in getting to know me again, or were too busy with their other friends. Silver Spoon was there with me the whole time, at least I have her. I don’t understand it. I know I was gone for a few years, but everypony my age doesn’t remember me. Some of the adults, like the Cakes, remember me, even Miss Rarity does since my Mommy was a big client of hers. She has this sister of hers name Sweetie Belle, but she was too shy to talk to, although not as shy as this one yellow pegasus I saw. She was scared of her own shadow, really!

There was also this party for me and Daddy that was run by this strange pony named Pinkie Pie the Cakes hired or adopted or I don’t know. I had hoped some of the fillies and colts that I knew long ago would want to be my friend again during that party, but they’ve changed so much and I don’t know what’s happened to them in the past three years. Hay I barely remember some of them too. I had hoped Apple Bloom and her family would come, she I remembered the most, but I learned they were at a family reunion and wouldn’t be back for a few days.

I’ve wanted to come back to Ponyville to be happy again, especially since Mommy and my brother died, but... it just seems so different. I just hope everything will be okay now.

-Diamond Tiara

The family meeting that year in Baltimare was quite the doozy, if Apple Bloom remembered correctly. That was when cousin Baldwin announced he was getting married and Granny Smith showed Uncle Emperor Red that she still had the moves in square dancing. Apple Bloom had a lot of fun with her cousins, but she was more eager to get back to her friends at the time: Archer, Licky Split, and Tootsie Flute. They were old friends of hers until they slowly went their separate ways.

She remembered that they were quite upset when she came home. They told her that somepony had bullied them and she went out to... confront them…

Apple Bloom gasped. Her heart sank. No, no it couldn’t be. Apple Bloom dove into the diary until she found the journal entry she was looking for. Her mouth dropped in shock.

Why?! Why?! I hate you, Apple Bloom! I hate you!

The first time I see you in three years and you go ahead and say that I’m rich jerk who has no right to push your so called “friends” around just because I have money and power?! Well did you know that your so called friends of yours were making fun of Silver Spoon because she had such big glasses?! I stood up for her! Maybe I did say my Daddy could use our money to make their lives miserable but I was only doing it to defend my friend!

And when I tried to tell the truth, to ask that you to listen to me, you just and told me to stay away from your friends! You forgot about me! Me! The same filly who use to sleep over at your place ever since we were foals! Our families practically help each other with our business! And yet you forgot me just like everypony else?! Why?!

First I lose my mom, then I go through Tartarus this summer, and now you of all ponies betray me! For what? Three jerks who gave me a raspberry when you weren’t looking?! You don’t want to be friends anymore then fine! I’ve had it! I’m done playing nice! If everypony wants to see me and Silver Spoon as the so called “Rich Brats” then we’ll give you all what you want! The only two we can rely on is ourselves!

And you're the first I’ll crush, Apple Bloom! I’ll make sure your life, and anypony you’re friends with, is miserable just as much as mine is! And I hope you regret ever angering me!

Apple Bloom couldn’t believe it, but the hazy memory in the back of her mind was now coming back clear and crisp. She did remember fighting with Diamond Tiara when her friends told her that some new rich filly had come in and started bossing them around.

They lied to her. She betrayed Diamond Tiara, who had been looking forward to meeting her again. She forgot all about their friendship and hurt Tiara. Apple Bloom’s eyes widened as she realized it was all her fault.

She made Diamond Tiara a bully.

Author's Note:

Now, all of us will obviously say that Diamond Tiara becoming a bully isn't Apple Bloom's fault, which it isn't when you look at it. Other circumstances caused her to grow the behavior of one until she decided she couldn't take anymore and become that which she was hated for. However, Apple Bloom's entire story arc revolves around the feeling of guilt. She already feels guilty into thinking that she's responsible for Tiara's death, now she feels that she herself is responsible for making Tiara into a bully. We also need to remember that Apple Bloom isn't an adult, she's a kid, and her mind thinks differently then adults. Everything will come full circle in her last chapter, however, and we'll see what she learns from it.

As for Diamond Tiara's journey into becoming a bully, a lot of bullies are formed mostly by three ways, each of which I took inspiration from into creating Diamond Tiara's backstory.

The first is by example such as a parent, older sibling, or hero figure they admire and replicating that behavior. We often look up to people who are heroes in our mind, so we act like them as well. Unknowingly, this behavior may make us act inappropriate or mean to others without knowing. For instance, if a father is a racist then there is a chance his son will become racist as well because he admires his dad and wants to be like him. Thus he will grow up hating specific ethnic groups just like his father and it will pass on. In Diamond Tiara's case, seeing her father use his money and power to crush those that hurt those he cares about makes Diamond Tiara realize the power she can wield with her status, but as we know in canon, this realization isn't used in the proper way.

The second is by abuse or being bullied themselves, the pain and suffering they went through makes them act the same way in hopes of helping them cope with it. Bullying is abuse, be it physical or emotional or verbal, and like abuse it can be repeated through those who have been abused themselves. That isn't to say that somebody can't avoid this, it is perfectly possible, I myself am such an example of a person who has been bullied and yet never became one myself. That isn't to say that we don't come out of bullying all the better though. It leaves scars, some deeper then others, and I'll say this right now I've had problems in the past, especially in my high school days. But as time went on those healed and I'd like to think I became a better person. However, not everybody is like that.

There are people out there who cannot move past what's happened to them, and thus they themselves follow the examples of their abuser or bully and thus the cycle is repeated. Does this mean we should hate them? Pity them? Sympathize or don't give a damn? Truthfully, there is no right or wrong answer because people's opinion on this vary. It's no similar to the question, should you arrest a thief even if he was just stealing to feed his family? Should you hate a bully because he himself is being bullied and is trying to target his anger and sorrow at something? Maybe they need help or maybe not, it's up to you to decide.

In the case of Diamond Tiara, she's mainly bullied for being rich and other ponies assume that because of this she's the stereotypical rich brat. Thus, they feel the need to go after her because of her wealth and assumptions even though Tiara had done nothing wrong. Stereotypes work both ways as they say, and while there are definitely rich brats out there, you can't assume all of them are the same. Because of this constant action against her, as well as how her reunion with Apple Bloom went, Diamond Tiara feels that the only ponies she can trust are the rich, since it seems those who are not hate them already for what they are. You'd be surprise how many times society has created it's own monsters.

And the final one is through anger and tragedy. Let's face it, life always screws with us one way or another. We've all had something happen to us that make us want to cry out the injustice of it all and say "Fuck you world" for doing this. We curse others, we curse god, we curse ourselves, we just curse everything when something really bad happens such as we lose our job, or somebody we love dies, or were forced to move, or we get betrayed and hurt. Some people can take what has happened to them in stride, others slowly move on and change for the better, and then there are those who change for the worst like Diamond Tiara. It doesn't start when she moves from Ponyville, no it starts when she looses her pregnant mother which causes her father to ignore her in his grief and put her in a camp that is literally hell for her. By the time she returns to the home she's wanted for three years, all her friends have moved on and nothing is the same, adding more to her frustrations on the idea that she can't get a break. And finally, when her fight with Apple Bloom happens, she just can't take it anymore. She's angry at the world and she wants somepony to pay, so she picks Apple Bloom and is determined to get revenge on her.

But with all this said the question to ask is, should Diamond Tiara be pitied or not? Should we find her to be sympathetic or not? The story is about a lot of things, one of which is that bullies aren't always black and white. There is a reason why they are who they are and what's most important is discovering how they became to be this way, and then make our own judgements. No person I believe is born evil and nasty in the world, we become such horrible people for various reasons. And you have to make your own decisions about Diamond Tiara based on the information I give you in the story. Feel free to write about it too, give your reasons or what not. All I ask is that there is no flaming wars between reviewers.

Sorry for such a long Author's Note. Thanks for reading and have a happy new year.