Why Am I Crying?
By The Rated Ponystar
Formally Edited by: Clavier, Mr. Minimii and Apple Cinnamon
Edited by: Unnamed Pawn and First_Down
Thanks to Catnipfairy for her artwork!
***
With the meeting over, Apple Bloom ran towards the house with the basket still tight in her mouth. The fresh smell of the apple pie it once held entered her nostrils, but any thoughts of hunger were quickly overcome by anticipation and desire. Something more valuable was in the basket, something that was worth stealing from the room of a dead filly despite the constant threat of a scolding for her shameful actions. Apple Bloom knew this was wrong, beyond any doubt she would be in trouble if she got caught, but she had to know what made Diamond Tiara act the way she did.
Reaching her house, Apple Bloom skirted across the wooden boards, kicking up snow left on the porch, before realizing a new problem. How was she gonna get the book inside without anypony noticing? Granny Smith or Applejack would be expecting the basket back, and if they found what was now inside they would tan her hide and ground her for life. Rubbing her head, Apple Bloom closed her eyes and tried to move that large organ in her skull into doing what it did best. Finally, an idea came to her, and she quickly rearranged the basket so that the book was hidden under the blanket.
Taking a deep breath, Apple Bloom opened the door and walked inside, hoping to sneak up the stairs and not use Plan B. That all proved to be futile as a voice called her name and she froze up like an icicle hanging off the porch trim. Turning around she saw her sister coming from the kitchen, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “There ya are, little sis. Big Mac said ya rushed off towards yer clubhouse when ya got back home. Everythin’ alright?”
“Uh, yeah,” muttered Apple Bloom, putting the basket down and shifting her hooves a bit. “Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are waitin’ for me. Ah just came by because we’re gonna be talkin’ for a bit and Ah was wonderin’ if Ah can get a pie for us?”
Apple Bloom smiled, hoping that her big sister wouldn’t see the big sweat drops she could feel dripping down the back of her neck. Applejack walked forward and looked down at her, straight in the eye. “That’s funny, Ah thought Ah saw Scootaloo walk past the house not too long ago. Where is she goin’?”
Inwardly cursing her luck, Apple Bloom replied. “O-oh, she went to... to uh... get hot chocolate for us from Sugarcube Corner!”
“We could have made some here in the house,” pointed out Applejack.
Apple Bloom did her best to fake a chuckle and nudged her sister’s front leg. “Well, nopony can make hot chocolate better than Mrs. Cake, right? Ah mean, just last week Big Macintosh was waiting four hours in the front of the line for just a cup of it alongside everypony else.”
This made Applejack smirk a bit before shaking her head. “Yeah, that big brother of ours always has had a darn weakness for chocolate.” She then frowned again and looked back at Apple Bloom with an uncertain glare that made the little filly gulp. “But Ah still get the feelin’ yer not tellin’ me everythin’. What’s goin’ on?”
Biting her lip, Apple Bloom tried to look away from the unwavering eyes, but she stopped herself. Doing that would only make Applejack more suspicious. Her brain went into overdrive as she tried to come up with something to say, anything to get her sister to not question her any further. Finally, something came to her and before she knew it she said, “We’re makin somethin’ for Diamond Tiara!” Applejack blinked once and her eyes no longer showed mistrust, but confusion. Apple Bloom, seeing this, continued, “Well, Ah... what Ah mean is that me and the girls feel bad about Tiara bein’... gone and all, so we’re makin’ somethin’ for the memorials we’ve seen in town. Somethin’ to show that, despite our problems, we feel sorry that she’s gone.”
That’s not a complete lie, thought Apple Bloom, trying to convince herself since only two of the three crusaders felt bad for Diamond Tiara.
Nevertheless, a warm smile on Applejack’s face followed by a hug made the little filly relax. “Ah, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack, “that’s sweet of ya. Ah’m proud of ya for bein’ the better pony and doin’ this for a filly ya didn’t get along with.” Her eyes then lit up. “Hang on a second. Ah’ll be right back.”
Without waiting for a response, Applejack quickly went up the stairs, allowing Apple Bloom the chance to finally let out the air she had been holding. That was too close.
She soon sat straight back up when Applejack came down with a photo album in her mouth. Placing it next to Apple Bloom, she said, “This here has photos of yer baby days with Diamond Tiara. Maybe they can help ya.” Apple Bloom didn’t say a word. She just picked up the photo album and stared at it like a lost piece of history. Applejack soon turned toward the kitchen. “Ah’ll go get that pie and let’cha head on back to the clubhouse.”
“Huh? Oh, sure,” replied Apple Bloom, who still continued to stare at the album. Now she had two books to read through, but the diary came first. Placing it with the other hidden book, Apple Bloom waited until Applejack had given her the pie before bolting out the door, ignoring her sister’s goodbyes and pleas to be safe in the cold.
***
Arriving back at the abandoned clubhouse, Apple Bloom closed the door, shut the curtains, and took out the pie, placing it on the ground before putting the diary and photo album next to it. After getting a plate and a glass of milk from the club’s own mini-fridge, Apple Bloom sat down and stared at the diary for a good long while.
It could have been a book about dark magic and Apple Bloom wouldn’t have felt as nervous opening it as she did now. Hidden in these pages was everything she ever wanted to know about Tiara. Taking a deep breath, Apple Bloom opened the cover and read the first page of what looked like scribbles that she could barely make out. Narrowing her eyes and taking her time, she read the first page:
Deer Diary!
My name is Diamond Tiara and mommy gave me this for my birthday! I am now four years old and this is the best birthday ever! All my fwiends are here like Apple Bloom. But the reeson why my birthday was so cool is becuse daddy manaed to bring Huffy the Magical Dragun to my birthday! He was so cool and sung all my favorate songs! It was the best birthday ever! I also gotta lots and lots and lots of presents from all my fwiends in ponyville! I can’t wait to play with my new toys when the sun comes up tomorow!
I should head to bed now, but I dowt I will get much sleep cause I am so eggsited!
Night Night!
Apple Bloom looked at the entry again and made sure she was reading it right. Sure enough, she saw her name and tried to remember such an event happening. She could vaguely recall going to Diamond Tiara’s birthday parties like every other kid, mostly because Ponyville loved parties, especially once Pinkie Pie moved to town.
Remembering the photo album, Apple Bloom opened it up, searching for evidence, some clue that could offer insight into how her four-year-old self behaved at Diamond Tiara’s birthday party. She almost missed it because Tiara wasn’t wearing her trademark jeweled crown on her head. In the photo, Apple Bloom saw herself trying to lick frosting off her nose while Diamond Tiara was laughing. Numerous other photos showed the two of them dancing next to a record player that had balloons tied to the wooden stand. In another one, Apple Bloom stood next to Diamond Tiara while everypony sang Happy Birthday to her. We looked like we were such pals, thought Apple Bloom, staring at the pictures in disbelief. But why? Why don’t Ah remember this?
Sighing, Apple Bloom looked at another picture, which showed a lot of colts and fillies, mostly from her class, all having fun at the party, back before cutie marks and special talents, back when they were all equal blank flanks. And now Apple Bloom barely spoke to any of them like she used to; even her last friend before she formed the Crusaders,Twist, had moved on to different friends once she got her cutie mark. They all did. The memories they all had as foals were now just whispers in their minds. Ah can’t even remember when Ah was even friends with Diamond Tiara.
Apple Bloom then gasped as she quickly looked to one of the frames of her and her two best friends inside the clubhouse. What if that happens to us? When we get our cutie marks will we find new friends? Will we abandon each other? Apple Bloom quickly shook her head. No! It’s different this time! The three of us are like sisters! Not even cutie marks will separate us!
She quickly turned back to the journal, wanting to focus on that than the growing doubts in her mind. The next few entries spanned long gaps, weeks and months. Diamond Tiara’s four-year-old spelling sometimes made it hard to understand and follow. Most of the entries were boring, but she paid special attention to the ones that mentioned her or Sweet Apple Acres.
Apparently, a favorite activity of Diamond Tiara’s used to be to come over to the farm, and Big Macintosh would gallop around the fields with her and Apple Bloom on his back. Or when she came for Zap Apple Season and jumped across the watering cans in the bunny suits. Apple Bloom couldn’t help but laugh upon reading how “fun” and “cool” Granny Smith was to Diamond Tiara back then compared to now when she made fun of her granny for being old and weird.
And as she read these entries, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but wish this was the Diamond Tiara she knew. How did such a kind filly like her turn into such a brat when she got older?
Turning the next page, Apple Bloom’s eyes widened upon what she read:
We are moving! I begged and cried and plea..plede... asked mommy and daddy to let us still stay in ponyville, but they told me that I have to be a big pony and move with them to some big stupid city. I don’t wanna leave here! I wanna be with my frends and go to skool with them. I hear the teacher Miss Wormwood and her asisis...assitan... helper Miss Cheerly is really nice.
May be Apple Bloom and her family can take me in?! Their house is really really big.
But... I dont wanna leave mommy and daddy... I guess I have to go with them…
I will write more tomorrow.
Night Night.
The next few entries were indeed about how Tiara moved from Ponyville to Manehattan, expressing how much she missed Ponyville and all her friends, including Apple Bloom who she always remembered. Ah don’t believe it... she really cared about me then... did Ah... did Ah really forget all that?
She skipped ahead a few pages, noticing that the dates between the entries were further apart with little writing in them. Any that were in there seemed unenthusiastic, making Apple Bloom wonder if Diamond Tiara’s experience in Manehattan was like Applejack’s, so she skipped most of them. It seemed nothing major happened until after Tiara turned seven years old:
I’m gonna be a big sister!
You heard that right! Mommy says she’s having a foal and that means I’ll have a little brother or sister to play with and take care of! This is gonna be great! I’ve always wanted to be a big sister! Maybe now I can have somepony to play with instead of the servants and tutors that come over. Mommy says the baby won’t come for a long time, but I want it now! Oh well, it gives me time to learn how to be a big sister. Maybe I’ll ask Mommy and some of the maids how they took care of me when I was a foal (Although Sebastian says I was a smelly baby! Ew! Not!).
Back when I was in Ponyville, I remembered some of my friends like Apple Bloom, Dinky, Archer, Rumble, and Sweet Peach having big siblings and how cool they were! I hope to be as good as a big sibling as Big Mac and the rest! I wish I knew how all my friends are doing, but they don’t send mail to me. I bet it was just the post office at fault, if they still have Dinky’s mommy doing the mail and all.
Anyway, Mommy just told me to get to bed now. I hope I dream of my new little sister or brother!
Night Night!
Apple Bloom smiled as she read the new entries with Diamond Tiara talking about how she learned how to cradle and rock a foal, change its diaper, feed it, help it burp, and more. She even started foalsitting her neighbor’s foal a few times. But as Diamond Tiara’s hopes and dreams for being a big sister grew, especially when it was revealed to be a little brother growing inside Mrs. Rich, something then clicked in Apple Bloom’s head.
She had never seen Diamond Tiara’s sibling. Hay, Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever heard her mention having one.
Curious about what was going to happen next, she continued to read but her eyes widened at what she saw next. The book slipped from her hooves and onto the floor with an echoing thud that replicated an explosion in Apple Bloom’s ears. Her shocked and stunned eyes slowly lowered themselves to the page as her mouth began to tremble.
Mommy... Mommy... Why aren’t you home yet?
Daddy just keeps crying and drinking that nasty drink he and you have when we have guests. None of the maids and butlers are telling me anything, but they keep crying as well. I know it has to do something with you, Mommy, because a police mare came and mentioned you. Did the train you were on suddenly break down? Are you lost or hurt? Mommy, I miss you and my little brother you’re carrying.
We were suppose to go to the zoo today, all of us, but you're not home. I’m... I’m really scared Mommy... please come home.
-Diamond Tiara
Tears dripped down Apple Bloom’s cheeks as she covered her mouth, staring at the book with the horrible realization that she had found her answer. She knew that Tiara had lost her mother, but if what the diary was insinuating was true, if what she suspected had actually happened, then this changed so much. Suddenly, she remembered there was a second name in the first entry she read back at Tiara’s house and she already suspected who it was. She prayed that the next entry would be about Tiara’s mother coming home safe and sound, with nothing wrong with the foal. Even though she knew this was very unlikely, she couldn’t help but pray that it wasn’t.
Nopony deserved to lose their mother and little sibling in one day. Nopony in this world, brat or not, deserved such a horrible tragedy.
Apple Bloom’s hopes were dashed when she read the next entry and began to cry:
Mommy is dead. My brother is dead.
Why? Why are they dead? I want them back. I want my Mommy and my brother back! Mommy was gonna show me how to pose like a real model! We finally came up with a name for my brother, Golden Pockets! We were gonna be best friends forever! I was gonna hold him and love him! I want them back!
I keep telling Daddy to bring them back, to find someway to do it! We have a lot of money so there has to be someway! Maybe he can even pay Princess Celestia to bring them back! But he just tells me to leave him alone and he starts crying. I want to cry with him, but he doesn’t let me even near him. “Too busy” he says, “Making arrangements” he says. I don’t care if he wants to make arrangements, I’m his daughter and I need my Daddy! If he wants to cry let me cry with him! That’s all I can do at this point is cry and cry and cry and oh Celestia why?!
Mommy! Golden Pockets! Please come back! I miss you! I miss you! Don’t leave me, Mommy! Mommy! Little brother!
I want you back so much!
Apple Bloom just closed her eyes, turned the page, and slowly read the next one with tears still in her eyes:
Dear Diary,
Mommy and Golden Pocket’s funeral was today. We had it at Ponyville, where Mommy and Daddy were born.
I never thought I would be coming home like this. Three years and all I wished for was a chance to go home. But none of my friends were there to see me, not even Apple Bloom, who was sick with something according to her old brother.
I’m also glad none of my friends were there to see me because... I did something stupid when they were putting Mommy and Golden Pockets in their graves. I... I jumped in, I couldn’t help it. Mommy always made herself looks so beautiful and graceful that that dirt was going to ruin it. I don’t care how sealed her coffin was I didn’t want her buried! I know she can’t come back! I know she’s dead and everything, but not like this! Not in the dirt! Not her! She deserves one of those fancy tombs those nobles in Canterlot have or even turned to ashes like pegasi!
Just not dirt! Not my Mommy! Not my Brother! They deserve better than to be eaten by worms!
They didn’t deserve this... I didn’t deserve this.
We’re... we’re going back to Manehattan for now. Daddy asked me if we should live in Ponyville again... so we can be close to Mommy and Golden Pockets. I said yes, but I would rather never go back and have Mommy and Golden Pockets alive.
I’m going to go to sleep. Maybe I can see Mommy and my little brother in my dreams.
-Goodnight
Apple Bloom put the book down and wrapped her forelegs around her for comfort. She stared at the pie, all nice and warm, but felt sick just by looking at it and threw it against the wall. Ignoring the fact that she would have to clean that up, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but feel enraged at her family. Why had nopony told her about this? If Applejack, Big Macintosh, or even Granny Smith told her that Diamond Tiara had lost her mother and brother when she was young, then maybe she could have understood Tiara better. Growing up without your mother? Apple Bloom knew that more than anypony else in the world.
It was no different than when her family refused to talk about her parent’s passing. They would talk about how happily they lived, how great they were as parents, but never a word about their deaths. To this day, she still had no idea how her parents died. She asked many times, but Applejack or Granny Smith would always look at her with a sad look and say they’d tell her when she was older. And her brother? He would stay silent, or disappear and not come back ‘till late at night with cider on his breath.
Apple Bloom wasn’t stupid. She knew they were never coming back. She knew it was a great blow to them all, but she wasn’t a little foal. She wanted to know everything about her parents, including how they died.
But the thing that she was upset with the most, right now, was that somewhere down the line Apple Bloom had forgotten all about Diamond Tiara. She remembered getting sick with a stomach flu around that time, and her siblings went to some funeral for a friend that she didn’t bother to learn because she was too busy puking her brains out. If Ah had gone to that funeral, would things have been different? Could Ah have helped her? Or even remembered her?
Taking the diary into her hooves once more, Apple Bloom hugged it tight to her chest, imagining it was Diamond Tiara. If somepony had said this was Diamond Tiara’s life to Apple Bloom just last week, she would have laughed and called them a liar. Now? She just wanted to hold Diamond Tiara and cry with her. Opening the diary, the little filly struggled to continue where she left off, hoping that somehow Diamond Tiara’s life had gotten better. She would even accept a journal entry of how she embarrassed Apple Bloom with some prank or another.
The next few entries were just a few sentences, mostly telling how the Rich’s new home in Ponyville was being constructed while they still lived in Manehattan. At first, Diamond Tiara talked about her father a lot, how he was coping with the loss of his wife, but soon Tiara just stopped talking about him altogether. That is, until she turned to the next page:
Dear Diary,
I hate him! I hate my Daddy! Ever since Mommy and Golden Pockets died we don’t do anything anymore! He just spends his days in his office, only calling on the maids for whatever he needs. Now he’s telling me I’m going to be spending the summer at some camp near Fillydelphia while he heads over to Ponyville to oversee the final constructions of our new home. I’m going to go to some stupid camp for three months while Daddy goes and does whatever he wants!
He says I need to get out of the house, find something to do to help me move on. Fine, why not let me stay with the Apples on their farm or maybe even live with my Auntie in Vanhoover! He just doesn’t listen to me anymore, all he does is work work work!
Ugh, this camp had better be worth it, but if he’s hoping to get letters from me he can forget it! I’m not writing to him no matter how good or bad this will be. I promise!
Stupid Daddy.... Mommy wouldn’t do this. I wish she was here.
-Diamond Tiara
Diamond Tiara? In a camp? Unless it’s for high society-like ponies Ah’d doubt she’d last a minute, thought Apple Bloom, remembering the stories her older brother told her when he went to camp growing up. All the tales of rough housing, dirty activities, rules and regulations, not to mention all the different kinds of ponies that may or may not be kind and supportive, all of it spelled the possibility of a bad trip for somepony like Diamond Tiara.
Sure enough, the next entry proved Apple Bloom right:
Dear Diary,
It’s day eight here in camp and I hate it. It’s been a nightmare ever since I stepped one hoof on this place. The camp smells, the food is awful, the councilors don’t even care about us that much, and I’m always getting dirty. The worst thing is the other fillies and colts. A lot of them are older then me and while most of them just ignore me, or whisper about me behind my back. But the worst is this group of older colts that are always making fun of me for being a blank flank, calling me a little baby. They also think I’m some kind of brat because I’m rich, asking me why I’m here instead of being in a fancy foo-foo ball with the Princess.
I’ve tried being nice to them, but all they do is spit at me, insult me, and throw me in the mud. And I don’t know why! I’ve never done anything to them! None of the other campers try to help me, they either just ignore me or watch with amusement. I hate this place and the adults do nothing to help me! I’ve tried telling a counselor once that those older colts stole my clothes from my drawer, but that only made things worse.
Everypony then called me a “snitch” and hated me even more. I don’t get it, aren’t we suppose to tell adults when we’re being bullied? And worse of all, when they learned I told on them, those boys had the nerve to dunk my head in a toilet! They almost flushed the tiara Mommy gave me for my last birthday until I kicked one in the private parts, took my tiara back, and ran like a dragon was behind me!
Now that I’m a “snitch”, pretty much everypony is ignoring me or giving me dirty looks. The only one who hasn’t been doing so is this other filly named Silver Spoon. From what I learned she’s a rich from Ponyville, just like me, and is also being bullied. Maybe I can talk to her?
Why is Daddy punishing me by sending me here! I just want to go home! I’m tempted to send him letters, explaining what’s going on here, but I’m still angry at him and I won’t break my promise!
-Diamond Tiara.
Apple Bloom’s interest peaked as she reread the entry again. She had been curious as to how Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara met to begin with, often thinking it was at some fancy, rich pony party and their parents knew each other. In some ways, Apple Bloom realized that the formation of the Crusaders was somewhat similar to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon if her hunch was correct. Both her and Diamond had been bullied, were blank flanks, and found friends similar to them.
But the difference was that Diamond Tiara became a bully. It was like her cousin Babs all over again, but Tiara, to her knowledge, wasn’t bullied in Ponyville. So why did she become the bossy brat? Was she afraid of being bullied again like what happened at that camp? What about Silver Spoon? Did she join in afterwards, or was it something they both came up with together?
Figuring she would get her answers later, Apple Bloom read the next entry:
Dear Diary,
I finally made a friend! I wrote about Silver Spoon last time, right? She was really shy, asking if I was gonna make fun of her huge glasses or for that teddy bear she’s always carrying around. I told her no, and we started talking. It’s really cool sharing stories with another rich filly. I met some back in Manehattan, but they weren’t interesting. They were the snobby ones that always like to talk about how they were gonna earn all their parents money.
Those are the ones the bullies should target, not me and Silver Spoon.
Anyway, since we both learned how easy targets we were, we quickly promised to watch each other's back since we’re both kind of in the same boat. Turns out we had the same tormentors too in those older boys I mentioned before. Most of the others either just ignore us or call us names like “blank flanks” or “rich brats.”
Although, I was shocked to find that Silver Spoon chose to come here, but quickly found out why. Her Mommy and Daddy are splitting up, because they keep fighting all the time. Silver Spoon couldn’t take it anymore so she decided to go to a random camp she found to get away from it, her parents just letting her do what she wanted.
I guess that’s another thing we both have in common: family problems. My Mommy is gone and my Daddy just ignores me and drinks his nasty stuff. And Silver Spoon has her parents no longer in love with each other and always fighting. Guess we make quite a pair, huh?
-Diamond Tiara
Apple Bloom smiled, relieved to see that both of them had finally found a friend. Even though this was the same duo that did everything they could to make the Crusaders’ lives miserable, she couldn’t help but be happy for Diamond Tiara. Apple Bloom paused in her reading. Knowing all this information about Tiara, did it really change anything?
Is this really an excuse for all the trouble she put me and the others through? Ah mean, they were still bullies. But they became bullies because they were bullied too. But does that excuse them? thought Apple Bloom, holding her head in pain. Ugh, mah head hurts from all this thinkin’.
She looked at the next few entries and soon found her pain and annoyance replaced by disgust and horror. Apple Bloom couldn’t believe what she was reading with the next few entries, but in her heart she knew these were true. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had done terrible things as bullies, but what she read went far beyond their worst acts. What their constant bullies, the older boys, did to these two fillies was torture, plain and simple, in every definition of the word.
Her eyes blazed over the pages, finding sentences that made her sick just by reading them:
...sat on our backs while they peed all over us. Said we made good toilets…
...just burned her bear and we were helpless to stop them! I’ve never seen Silver Spoon cry so much…
...we held each other, our tears silently dripping as we waited for them to pass. I want my Daddy…
...blamed me for his dad losing his job, said all us rich folks were just making good decent families likes his suffer.
...too far. They have gone too far! By the time I finally found Silver Spoon in the woods, roped up to a tree, she had her glasses broke and was so scared. I held her and brought to the nurses office. I don’t care about hating Daddy anymore, I’m telling him everything. They want to see a rich families money be used. Fine! Watch as we sue them all and make them pay for what they had done.
Dear Diary,
It’s finally over. The camp is being shut down and many of the adults are being questioned for letting things get out of hoof. They all keep blaming the headmaster who ordered them to be quiet about these complaints and incidents, but I don’t care. I hope those bullies who hurt me and Silver Spoon like having their families lose everything they own when they get sued. My Daddy and Silver Spoon’s Mommy are on the warpath for getting back at anypony who hurt us.
Daddy won’t stop telling me how sorry he is for putting me in that horrible place, and swears to never do it again. I told him all I want is to go home to Ponyville and start school like I’ve always wanted. He seems better too, he says it’s thanks to Big Macintosh.
I can’t help but feel I could have stopped all of this had I just been smart and told Daddy what was happening in the first place, instead of just being angry and stubborn at him. At least Silver Spoon wouldn’t have suffered so much. I hope she and her Mommy are gonna be okay, it’s sad her Daddy left and didn’t bother to say goodbye to her. I should look her up when we get back to Ponyville, she could use a friend. Both of us can. Maybe she can be friends with my old friends.... if they remember me. It’s been so long.
I also can’t help but admire my Daddy, using our power and money like he did. Is this... is this something I can do as well? Use the wealth my family has to make sure that me and those I care about aren’t hurt again? Maybe its time I start learning out of my Daddy’s book.
I’m tired now. Sleep time. Maybe I can dream peacefully without having somepony put shaving cream on my hoof and tickling me with a feather.
-Diamond Tiara
Relieved that the worst was over, for now, Apple Bloom shook her head. Ah’m glad Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon didn’t do half the things to me that happened to them. How can some ponies be so mean? Why did they even do it? Just because Tiara and Silver were rich? That’s not a good excuse! Apple Bloom then bit her lip, But haven’t they also made fun of others because they were poorer than them? Celestia knows me and Scootaloo have been teased for that as well.
Apple Bloom was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she jumped when she heard the cuckoo clock go off. Looking at it, she realized it was almost time for supper.
Deciding to read a bit more, Apple Bloom hurried past a few pages until she got to Diamond Tiara’s return to Ponyville.
It’s so different now, Diary.
Everypony is different now. Most of my old friends don’t remember knowing a filly named Diamond Tiara when they were little. Some of them did when I jogged their memory, but they didn’t seem interested in getting to know me again, or were too busy with their other friends. Silver Spoon was there with me the whole time, at least I have her. I don’t understand it. I know I was gone for a few years, but everypony my age doesn’t remember me. Some of the adults, like the Cakes, remember me, even Miss Rarity does since my Mommy was a big client of hers. She has this sister of hers name Sweetie Belle, but she was too shy to talk to, although not as shy as this one yellow pegasus I saw. She was scared of her own shadow, really!
There was also this party for me and Daddy that was run by this strange pony named Pinkie Pie the Cakes hired or adopted or I don’t know. I had hoped some of the fillies and colts that I knew long ago would want to be my friend again during that party, but they’ve changed so much and I don’t know what’s happened to them in the past three years. Hay I barely remember some of them too. I had hoped Apple Bloom and her family would come, she I remembered the most, but I learned they were at a family reunion and wouldn’t be back for a few days.
I’ve wanted to come back to Ponyville to be happy again, especially since Mommy and my brother died, but... it just seems so different. I just hope everything will be okay now.
-Diamond Tiara
The family meeting that year in Baltimare was quite the doozy, if Apple Bloom remembered correctly. That was when cousin Baldwin announced he was getting married and Granny Smith showed Uncle Emperor Red that she still had the moves in square dancing. Apple Bloom had a lot of fun with her cousins, but she was more eager to get back to her friends at the time: Archer, Licky Split, and Tootsie Flute. They were old friends of hers until they slowly went their separate ways.
She remembered that they were quite upset when she came home. They told her that somepony had bullied them and she went out to... confront them…
Apple Bloom gasped. Her heart sank. No, no it couldn’t be. Apple Bloom dove into the diary until she found the journal entry she was looking for. Her mouth dropped in shock.
Why?! Why?! I hate you, Apple Bloom! I hate you!
The first time I see you in three years and you go ahead and say that I’m rich jerk who has no right to push your so called “friends” around just because I have money and power?! Well did you know that your so called friends of yours were making fun of Silver Spoon because she had such big glasses?! I stood up for her! Maybe I did say my Daddy could use our money to make their lives miserable but I was only doing it to defend my friend!
And when I tried to tell the truth, to ask that you to listen to me, you just and told me to stay away from your friends! You forgot about me! Me! The same filly who use to sleep over at your place ever since we were foals! Our families practically help each other with our business! And yet you forgot me just like everypony else?! Why?!
First I lose my mom, then I go through Tartarus this summer, and now you of all ponies betray me! For what? Three jerks who gave me a raspberry when you weren’t looking?! You don’t want to be friends anymore then fine! I’ve had it! I’m done playing nice! If everypony wants to see me and Silver Spoon as the so called “Rich Brats” then we’ll give you all what you want! The only two we can rely on is ourselves!
And you're the first I’ll crush, Apple Bloom! I’ll make sure your life, and anypony you’re friends with, is miserable just as much as mine is! And I hope you regret ever angering me!
Apple Bloom couldn’t believe it, but the hazy memory in the back of her mind was now coming back clear and crisp. She did remember fighting with Diamond Tiara when her friends told her that some new rich filly had come in and started bossing them around.
They lied to her. She betrayed Diamond Tiara, who had been looking forward to meeting her again. She forgot all about their friendship and hurt Tiara. Apple Bloom’s eyes widened as she realized it was all her fault.
She made Diamond Tiara a bully.
Yay! An update!
Happy New Year 2014 and thank you for the update.
Wow... I cried... a lot Especially when I kept reminding myself DT is dead so all this new knowledge really came to AB way too late.
Also, adding to the three points you made in the author's notes about how DT became a bully, there's also the mentality she has at the end: "If everypony wants to see me and Silver Spoon as the so called “Rich Brats” then we’ll give you all what you want!". Probably one of the less comon paths someone goes down to becoming a bully, but it sadly does happen. Somebody is seen as the "bad guy" by everyone around them and no matter how hard they try to prove or proclaim their innocence, nobody believes them. So since nobody will take their side, they decide the best way to cope with "being the bad guy" is to actually be the bad guy, either to make people leave you alone out of fear, or just to hurt them in simple revenge. This might fall under the 'anger and tragedy' point you mentioned, but I think it's also worth noting seperately that if you frame/blame somebody for something they haven't done and everybody sides against them, there's a good chance that next time they will be the one responsible.
Anywhom, another great chapter. I think I like Apple Bloom's chapters the most because not only do we have DT's tragic backstory and Apple Bloom's increasing level of guilt towards herself, there's also the fact that she won't be able to find closure by talking to DT about it. She missed her chance, so now she has to either power through it or carry the feeling around until she naturally gets over it (providing she ever does).
Don't be sorry for the author's note, that was quite the view on bullying. I too have been bullied once in middle school. I sprain my right wrist and in my mind I felt nothing but sadness, anger and somewhat wanted revenge. But as I soon saw the one who harass me was suffering in a way through a punishment, I felt.... guilt and regret for what I was doing by telling the adults. Why is that? Sure I know through Buddhism but, what about you? Could you explain?
P.S. Wounds healed, scars don't. You just live with them and to the point, you start to forget them.
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Why you feel guilty? That depends. Maybe you feel bad that it had come to a way where everybody got hurt and nothing got resolved peacefully. Plus, revenge is never Justice.
And why do you ask if I'm Buddhist? I'm not actually, I'm Catholic.
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(Clicks name to see profile)
(Scrolls Down)
(Learns that this is writer of two favorite trixie romance stories)
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130306110061/video-game-championship-wrestling/images/9/94/Daniel_Bryan_YES.gif
Well, personally I do feel pity for Dimond Tiara. However I have the fortunete (or unfortunete) habit to feel sorrow for anyone who is suffering no matter how bad they are so I guess that because of that this is not really saying much. But I will say that I have alwaysed looked at evil deeds as tradegies. To me evil is something that only spreds saddness for everyone no matter who you are and the only way to stop it is to try and forget and forgive. Because in the end of the day noone gains anything from evil.
Anyway another great chapter. I´m looking forward to the next one.
Of course, she her student Calvin gives her problems, but her affectionate uncle Screwtape helps her through it.
Hoof, maybe?
Interesting chapter. Look forward to more!
It also depends on how reliable a narrator Diamond Tiara was in her diary, but Apple Bloom probably did err when she sided with her new friends over her old one. That's no excuse for Diamond Tiara making her the scapegoat for her future actions.
Apparently Apple Bloom blocked out the good with the bad when it came to the past.
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I am contractually obligated to put Miss. Wormwood as a teacher if I can.
4 year olds are incapable of writing diary entries. 4 year olds are lucky if they can even recognize individual letters, much less write them down.
3685758
What about five?
You are doing an absolutely wonderful job with Diamond Tiara's character. Personally, I feel her past does not serve as an excuse or justification for her actions, but it does make her an understandable and sympathetic character. I love what you've done with the character, her backstory is probably the best (for the character) I've read in fanfiction. It really does just make you want to hug her and tell her everything is alright!
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Did you know how to write in Kindergarten?
The bare minimum would be 3rd grade, if she was exceptionally talented.
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Good point, but the ages have to be at time where AB could forget her past with DT. So... yeah I can't change that, sorry.
Is this...is this what I think it is?
3685790
Yup
This story just keeps getting better!
We all fall into roles that family or society assigns us. It happens. Some people throw up their hands and give up.
Also, Calvin and Hobbes reference! Woo!
Not the first story to assume Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara have a history. Makes sense considering how their families are connected.
And I hope you are please with yourself, Rated. Now I have a sad!
Well, off to read a zany comedy.
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I am pleased with this story. I keep hoping that it gets more noticed outside of this site like a TV tropes page, Equestria Daily accepted (been waiting two months now I should send a reminder) or a dramatic reading drama.
My own bullying just made me cry once or twice. My sister's bullying (which was much, much worse, and I thank God that facebook or things like that didn't exist back then) made me want to hurt someone, badly. That felt even worse, since a) it was way too late to do anything when I learned of it; and b) because I didn't want to feel like that. I don't even know if I could seriously hurt someone, frankly, but I definitely don't want to find out.
Anyhow: I don't exactly know why, but I could totally see Mister Rich being one to make crass, morbid, self-deprecating jokes in order to express his pain and intense self-loathing. Yes, Big MacIntosh helped him somewhat with that, but it's not something going away over night. Jokes like "Don't worry, I've got practice with burying my kids!". The kind of jokes that you just know he's telling because all that's keeping him together is alcohol and the need to go through the motions...
Wow...felt like my heart was sinking down into my stomach, especially at the end.
How could anypony forget about Diamond Tiara so quickly??? Why didn't Applejack, Granny Smith, or Big Mac show Apple Bloom the pictures of her and D.T. while she was away?
Don't cry, A.B. I'm right here for you.
You know, this is pretty much as sad and tragic as Mister Freeze's story:
Perhaps when this story is done, why don't you try a fanfic that gives us a look at Sunset Shimmer's childhood? I've ideas on what happened to her parents.
my hatred for daimond tiara is at levels susaly saved for people who hurt your family personaly, flight to the finish had me wishing to strangle her with her own esophagus, your fic at leats humanizes her somewhat.
that being said i still do and well continue to hate her.
anyway the complex she was developing was the same one that napolean and hitler had during there lives, which caqn only make one wonder how she would have turned out had she reached adulthood.
Phew, I was worried it would be just AB's fault. Panic avoided! Good stuff so far, keep up the good work.
Well my heart has been thoroughly crushed into a fine red dust. Diamond basically became life's whipping girl after she moved.
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My apologies if my author notes insulted or annoyed you. I was merely speaking my thoughts on the subject matters the fic gives.
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Children practice writing as early as Kindergarten, it doesn't mean they're good enough at it to write diary entries during their free time.
You could not be more wrong. Go google "First grade writing samples" and compare it to the diary entry in this story.
I'll even do it for you, here:
readingrockets.org/themes/rr_new/images/writing/gr1/sample_gr1_L1.jpg
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I didn't meant that if your Buddhism, I meant what is your opinion about why I felt guilty.
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I can't really answer that. Only you can, and relax, I am far from offended.
Will you write a what if fiction about diamonds mom and brother living? If not will you let others write such a story?
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I'd actually wish if people could hold on creating stories linked to this fic until after the fic is done. As for the concept, I don't know. Maybe.
This was a very moving chapter, and I really feel for Apple Bloom's guilt here, regardless of how much of it is accurately placed. Even from what we've seen on the show, Apple Bloom's hooves are not entirely clean when it comes to her relationship with Diamond Tiara.
She should be pitied for what she has gone through, and we should find her sympathetic. There is no minimum moral standard that someone must meet in order to be deserving of sympathy. If there is, then I don't know anyone who meets it.
Is her descent into bullying understandable, given her background as presented here? Absolutely. Was it the right way for her to respond? Of course not. Does that make her less worthy of sympathy, or more deserving of suffering? No.
While she was alive, it would have been right to scold or punish her in whatever way was needed to encourage her to change her ways (within certain parameters), but now that she's dead and her future behaviour can't harm anypony, there's nothing to be gained by condemning her. She did what she did, which wasn't right, and now she's dead, which isn't right either.
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You know, I was going to respond to this seriously, but then I realized you're clearly an idiot and I'd just be wasting my time trying to explain this to you, given that you honestly believe the two are equivalent. "Dur, both have spelling errors so they must be the same!"
You spelled "cited" wrong, btw. By your own logic I guess that means you write like a preschooler.
...I hate you. you just made me shed tears for a character that the show goes out of its way to make as unsympathetic as realistically possible (for a child). You just made me want to hug a family show character that, in reality, make Angelica Pickles actually look like a little angel. I hate you for your excellent writing and I swear to one day place your head on a pike for it (not really; keep up the good work, for my masters will be watching).
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3687495
Okay, I'm ending this conversation before it goes into an argument. I won't have that on this fic. You both have your opinions, but there is no need to either insult or press on the issue. Alright?
3686999 Dude, the author is not trying to be a preach. If you don't like how this is trying to touch on the world of bullying, and how things aren't always what they seem, then don't read.
Apple Bloom's old friends probably didn't even think they were teasing Silver Spoon. Kids have no filter and most haven't learnt yet what not to say to people. Them telling Silver Spoon things like "Wow, your glasses are sooo huge! They're like, bigger than your face!" "The only pony I know who wears glasses is my old grandma", or doing things like taking her glasses off and then asking "How many hooves am I holding up?" might hurt Silver's feelings, but to Apple Bloom's old friends, what they were saying weren't hurtful at all.
...not that I know of what exactly those little foals said, but I'm probably just reading too much into the story here. When I was younger I used to participate in the "yooo how many fingers am I holding?? Can you see that clock on the wall over there??? Can you see that tree??" Shenanigans, and it wasn't until I was older did I realize that most glasses-wearing people did not like questions like that.
Diamond, now being close friends with Silver, probably picked up on Silver's uncomfortablness on the situation, and stood for her friend. Not in the best way, mind you. But then again, they are kids and kids aren't the best at thinking things through.
I think I know why Apple Bloom and most of the other foals didn't remember Diamond Tiara. It's mentioned that Tiara and Bloom were friends, and there were tons of pictures of them as little foals. She was around four when she moved - honestly, how many of us can remember who we were friends with when we were four? Diamond really hated moving away, and she's implied to not have made any friends in her new home. Therefore she clung onto her past...namely, her bestest friend EVER Apple Bloom.
Heck, I somewhat understand this. When I was 5, I had a friend named Ursula. I remember her due to the fact that she had crazy cool multicolored-looking eyes, and her name means "I'm seriously starving give me food right now omg :(" in my mom's language. In fact, I remember telling my mom about her by going "Ursula!!" and my mom freaking out because she thought I was seriously starving ...I changed schools shortly after, but she ended up going to my middle school for a short while. She didn't remember me at all. I felt kind of hurt by that, especially since her nickname was my first name(and my name's nothing like 'Ursula', fyi.) She didn't remember where she got that nickname from, but her new friends then harassed me and told me that I had to pick a different name because that first name of mine was HERS, now.(it was hurtful back at that time since she didn't remember me, her best friend from Kindergarten, but now I just find it sort of odd and hilarious how she 'stole' my name after I moved then forgot about me.)
I think I've rambled long enough....I've nitpicked and headcanon'd most of this review(if you can call it that, haha). I'm glad this part of the story talked more about what happened at that camp. I feel sympathy for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Bullies or not, what happened to them was horrible. How could this have been stopped, though? Diamond probably wouldn't have hated Apple Bloom(at least, not so suddenly) if she never went to that camp. If she didn't go to that camp, she wouldn't have believed that all the 'poor' ponies hate her for her money. She also probably wouldn't have been around to defend Silver Spoon, and thus wouldn't have been yelled at by Apple Bloom.
Eh....I don't know. There's no use in punishing a dead pony. But at least Silver's still alive...Apple, Scoots, and Sweetie should get together and relay what they've learned about their old bullies and maybe try helping Silver out. I won't say they should be BFFs, but Silver went to that awful camp too, and now has lost her only friend.
Sorry for the long post. I do like your long Author's Notes, though. I find them to be really cool and pretty insightful.
I really like what you've done with DT as a character. Real people/characters aren't simple or one dimensional, and I love the way you've shown DT's past.
I'm a big fan of operant conditioning, especially positive reinforcement. Had DT received praise for being nice to the other kids, even when they were mean to her, would have gone a long way towards preventing her crap behavior.
The reason I like this method of behavior modification is the way it treats those in power. You shouldn't be angry or sad at those you're trying to "fix." I would pity her, but were I her teacher/parent/guardian I'd just do my best to fix her without pity or remorse. Past experience never excuses present behavior, it only explains it.
Tragedy levels are going through the roof.
So I just deleted that old comment, but want to leave a new one.
I've seen many interpretations of Diamond's bullying through many other fan fictions, and I find this one to be the darkest one yet. It fits the fan fiction, but this would hardly qualify as canon material. Friendship is Magic and all.
I want Diamond to reform, but I would prefer an answer to my question in the show. If the Apples and the Rich are business partners (and possibly close friends), shouldn't Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara fix their relationships with each other? They may take over their respective lifestyles one day, and this should be a priority so it doesn't hurt their businesses.
I would like to hear the thoughts of others who bothered to read this comment. Please and thank you.
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One of these letters just doesn't belong here.~ ^-^
It gets better with every chapter. This one may have taken longer than the average 2 months, but it was well worth the wait.
After reading Diamond Tiara's diary and the Author's Note, I can honestly understand why she acts the way she does. I pretty much never experience empathy, and yet here I am empathizing with a fictional character. It takes a very skilled writer to get empathy out of me.
The main difference between Diamond Tiara and me is that when I want revenge, I simply brood and complain without ever actually doing anything. Thankfully I've never experienced anything even remotely as horrible as what Diamond Tiara has gone through, so I don't know if I too could be pushed over the edge into actually taking action instead of just brooding.
Disappointment, grief, no-one to support her through grief, sudden change, more pain, 3 years of optimism crushed as the one friend she wanted the most turns against her with no possibility for redemption. Any one of those can break even the strongest adult, and Diamond Tiara is just a filly.
A dam of pain and grief welling up with the thought of her friends in Ponyville being pretty much the only thing that got her through finally being shattered. Apple Bloom is the one she has had on her mind for the past 3 years, and Apple Bloom is the one who has broken the camel's back and made her pent up hostility finally get the better of her. Apple Bloom is the one who caused the dam to break. Apple Bloom is the one who sent Diamond Tiara into a frenzy of rage. It seems only natural that Apple Bloom be the one who Diamond Tiara loathes the most out of all this.
If you changed the names and made a few tweaks so it was no longer based on My Little Pony, you could publish this as a novel. Seriously, this provides an in depth look at how bullying works and could really help a lot of people through tough times of their own by showing them that they are never alone, as well as provoking thought in victims and bullies alike.
This continues to be one of the most intriguing, thought provoking and well written stories I have ever read. Keep up the excellent work.
Oh, my. She's just learned the Walt Kelly thesis a bit too late: "We have met the enemy and he is US."
I really like this fic, and loved Broken Bond as well.
Buuuuuuut, one thing kind of rubbed me the wrong way about this chapter.
I think Diamond and Silver Spoon's bullys were a little needlessly cruel to an extreme level. Don't get me wrong, I know what you were trying to establish here, but I think it just needed a little more subtlety. The harsh acts of bullying just seem so harsh and unrealistic it's like the story is screaming at me: "FEEL SORRY FOR DIAMOND TIARA!"
I probably would have felt something if they were just beaten up or given black eyes constantly or something. I look forward to the next chapter in any case.
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Well, what inspired me to create those bully moments was actual events that happened a friend of mines camp. They really did take a camper, tie him to a tree in the forest and left him there over night. I felt these were horrible actions that needed to be addressed to show how people can be cruel at a young age.
3686329 You know, the funny thing is, the man who voiced Mr. Freeze in that cartoon is now dead as well. All the more fitting, in a tragic sort of way.