• Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 22nd, 2020

theswimminbrony


I love to swim, write, and waste my hours away on this site.

T

Cyclone Swirl isn't like everypony in Ponyville. His entire life he has been exposed to the dark side of Equestria, being raised in Hooveston, the most dangerous city in the country. But, when he meets Twilight and her friends, they attempt to show him the magic of friendship, and mischief is sure to follow.

Chapters (0)
Comments ( 38 )

This is REALLY good. Nice job so far! I can't wait to see what happens next! 5/5

Oooooohhh, I can't wait for them to all realize that this guy has had it twenty times worse than they ever have! Seriously, it sounds like he is an EXTREMELY depressed soul, the way you described it in this fantastic chapter. However, Cyclone DID come off as an asshole for slapping Spike.

221950
You'll get to see that interaction pretty soon, in a chapter or two :twilightsmile:
And thanks for the feedback, it helps more than you know! :pinkiehappy:

ME GUSTA. Excellent second chapter. I'm really amazed at how his personality changes once he's sobered up. Need MOAR.

*ending* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Good story.
Tracking.

DAMMIT OPEN THE DOOR ALREADY
first

Giving this a track :)

268494 Next chapter for sure! :scootangel:

268624 Thank you good sir! :moustache:

270657
OBAMA?! :pinkiegasp:
Haha, but in all seriousness, thanks! Hope you're looking forward to the next chapter!

Wow, Twilight's.... a bit twitchy about the new guy... Well at least he didn't actually do anything to screw himself over. Can't wait for the next chapter.

This makes me wanna call twi a bitch

289267 Yeah, I thought I would get that reaction out of some people, and honestly, that's what I was going for. It wasn't easy writing this chapter for that reason, but at the same time allows the reader to feel for Cyclone. :applejackunsure: Just wait til next time though...she's got a lot to say for herself.

288123 Heh, I couldn't have him do something that would ruin his reputation two nights in a row :twilightsheepish:

288174 Glad you like it!

This is an incredible story! You're really good at this. :]
I can really understand Cyclone and you make it possible to really hurt for him too.
Great job! Keep 'em coming~ ^^
:pinkiehappy:

331436 Thanks! :pinkiesmile: It's nice to know people are connecting with the character!

Yay an update after so long! Looking as good as when you left too. Looking forward to more.

I would have thought that he would go straight to the bar and start drinking his troubles away, after all addiction to liqours isn't easy to get rid of.

Neverthess! good chapter, and also what happened at your swim meet, did your school win or lose?

Looking forward for chapter 7!

347526 That's what I thought at first too, though I think I like the thing he did with the wind was better.

Cool chapter! Can't wait to read more!

347526 Our school didn't really win or lose. We got 5th out of about 40 teams, which is awesome considering most of us were juniors. Our coach was happy, so we would consider it a success because of that :pinkiehappy:

348262 347526 We haven't seen the last of good ol' drunk Cyclone...trust me. In this situation, I felt that him using the wind was a way for him to clear his mind and think, which is what he needed to do, not necessarily forget what happened. In other situations, yes, that is likely what he would have done, but I felt this situation fit better here. Plus, plot progression :derpytongue2: See what I'm getting at though?

351028 Yes, I see what you're getting at :derpytongue2:

That's what I would done myself if I was him haha. (go and drink that is)

I just want to hug him. And cry with him. :P He's one of the most adorable OCs I've ever seen and I think it's partially because I can connect so well with him. Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

ooo the base for a plot arc. continue. Also, have fun on vacation!

Why is it, that the good story writers unfortunately update so rarely. (A week update is reasonable, but torture to the readers).
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

380291 If you were being serious with your question it's because it takes time to write quality. To me, being somewhat a perfectionist, a week seems a terrifyingly short amount of time to have to write the next chapter of something, yet I would feel terrible updating any further apart because of your exact reason.

Also, Mr SwimminBrony, have fun on your vacation and thank you for another great chapter! :twilightsmile:

380277 384868 Thanks! :pinkiehappy: I can still comment down here with my phone, but writing with it is a hassle, to say the least.

380291 kind of going off of what silverbrony said, it's because I value quality over quantity. I write and revise every chapter on my own (I don't have an editor, nor am I looking for one currently), plus I am EXTREMELY busy with school, especially because of the whole college application process. Believe me, I wish I could update more, and maybe I will be able to someday, but for now, I feel like a chapter a week is fairly reasonable. Yes, it's torture to you guys (it's torture for me too!) but I want to do the best I can on every chapter. But thanks for the praise, you're too kind. :twilightblush: Hope you're enjoying the story anyways!

A pony with a troubled background, my favourite :pinkiehappy:

386711 Always been one of my personal favourites as well; that's why I decided to give it a shot!

Ok, I was NOT expecting the friendship is witchcraft reference.

Congratulations! You won 1 Internet.

And....there it is! His addiction! Heh but I'm bit cautious of what will happens when he goes off to drink or Twilight knows that he is heading there to drink and is trying to prevent it or something.

That dream was so random, I can't help but think of Discord.

Ok, that just HAD to be Discord. Chapter 5.5 revealed that Discord was regaining a consciousness and that Cyclone is a potentially powerful unicorn, so it makes sense (at least in my head) that Discord would take advantage of that and also use Cyclone's background to manipulate him.
Also, Zephyr? An old marefriend?
Can't wait to see where this story goes. Oohhh, the suspense. :pinkiegasp:

it was amazing to see your writing improve throughout the whole story, starting from this clumsy style in the first chapter to where it is now. although, to be featured in EQD, you'd probably have to rewrite the first few chapters.

and i loved the witchcraft reference :pinkiecrazy: if they parody the discord episodes anytime soon, maybe you can build on that in the following chapters