I'm back, and I'm bluer than ever.
These stories use the same setting and characters as Fallout Equestria: Wild Wasteland. They are independent of the main plot, and often follow the escapades of individual party members and side characters from previous chapters.
The first story in this compilation, Hot Mess, received second place in the Fallout Equestria group's 300 member writing contest. The second also won third in the 600/700 member contest.
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I must say that this was an enjoyable read, beside all the censoring, even when done in such a humours way as this, but to much are still to much no matter how you look at it.
But a little question, I see that you have written this as you would find it in a book, with no whole line between the paragraphs, why is that? Just out of curiosity
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My prereaders loved that part... Normally I don't do that, it was just for the one gag.
Aww, you didn't like the censorship?
But yeah, the book style thing is just the way I always do it. It never occurred to me to do it any other way.
Knight is a hilarious narrator.. Immorality indeed. Good show!
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Thanks. I was worried about having her narration sound smarter than she really is, but by now I can see I made the right choice
Hah. I almost expected the demon to take one baffled look at the Wastelands, and angrily exclaim there was nothing more he could possibly do
"But... what happened to this place?" Lavan asked. "It was all nice, and green, and so ready for destruction!"
"Oh, that?" Knight replied wih a casual shrug. "Yeah, apparently the place was all blown up two centuries ago. You're kinda too late."
"ARGH! COME ON!" the demon exclaimed, his voice filled with disappointment. With a tiny "poof" he disappeared in a small puff of smoke, never to be seen again.
...but the rain was a nice way to make it all come full circle, of course
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I almost wish I did that now... Probably could have thrown in a song and dance number too, but those are hard enough in the main fic.
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Hehe, no worries, it was great either way
"[BLEEP] fuck [BLEEP] seven A.M. "
Oh man that whole section got so outlandish. XD I had a good laugh! <3
3311050 Thank ya. Gotta love those censorship gags.
Lavan's demise was equally laugh-inducing. I am very pleased with this chapter. Would read again! <3
Found a small typo, I think. "He immediately rushed to the guard closet to him. " Should that word be "closest"?
It was an alright chapter. Did a handful of things with the narrating character that I didn't expect. Can't remember any other FoE poet protagonists I've read recently.
No laughs in particular, but I am amused at protagonist basically getting with with 15k caps. Though if/when the company realizes he cheated them out of the caps, he'll have made himself some new enemies.
3311304 Yeah, this one wasn't as humorous as I normally do, a bit of dark humor here and there, but mostly just straight story. If I'd had more time before the contest, I may have revised a bit more.
Fortunately for Rook, the Association probably won't follow up on this case. They have too many other ponies to murder for flimsy reasons, including a certain Blue Guy eventually.
Well, I finally got around to reading this. In my defense, I'm working on my own new chapter for The Daily Unlife
Woah. Okay. This was deeper than the poetry actually written as poetry. You're awesome when channelling your Inner Emo, Click Clack
Ooh, perfect. A 15k head start and no more bounty hunters coming after her
...of course. That's when he joined the Checkmate Company!
Wow. In just 6400 words, you turned a gimmicky background character into a real person. This was amazing
Corrections:
> Why does this word seem to laugh,
Shouldn't that be "world"?
> "It's a griffon named..." he turned back to me, "what did you say your name was?""
This isn't a "s/he said" construction, so don't treat it as one: capital letter on "he", end the in-between piece on a period, and start the second quoted part with a capital letter. Oh, and you got a double closing quote at the end.
> I didn't realized it
I didn't [realize] it
> I've killed enough people to fill this town thrice over, so for your own sake don't push your luck.
Comma before "don't push your luck".
> "Yes. So, what do want to do with me?" I asked
Missing period after "I asked".
3397603 Yay, Good reviews~ Rook actually is one of my favorite minor characters. This won't be the last time he comes up. I'm even using him for something non-FOE related. Thanks for cathing those typos!
Sidestories are always good I think. Fleshed out characters who might never see ut.