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Deep Pond

Joined January 2012
57 followers

Stories (3)

  • A Great and Powerful Heart
    Trixie is coerced into searching for a missing foal and finds out what kind of pony she is at heart.

    13,801 words · 3,033 views · 242 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Ice and Shadow
    King Sombra's story, as told by him.
    5,271 words · 645 views · 44 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Penumbra
    When evil threatens Ponyville, the ponies must pit their mortal strength against an ageless malice.
    45,888 words · 1,238 views · 16 likes · 2 dislikes

Blog Posts (5)


While visiting the earth pony town of Promise, the Great and Powerful Trixie is coerced into searching for a missing foal against her own better judgment. But things are not as straightforward as they first appear. When push comes to shove, what kind of pony is Trixie at heart?

First Published
3rd Feb 2012
Last Modified
11th Feb 2012

Comments ( 107 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

Well this seems most interesting.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

This is awesome :pinkiesmile:

I like how she even thinks to herself in the third person :trixieshiftright:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

This story looks like it has legs. Four of 'em, in fact! I'll give it a track.

#4 · Chapter 2 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

"It's Trixie's muffin now!"

OH NO YOU DIN'T :derpyderp2:

#5 · Chapter 2 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

Trixe and Derpy working together?  LET THE HILARITY BEGIN!

#6 · Chapter 2 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

What time is it?

ADVENTURE TIME, MOTHERFUCKER!

#7 · Chapter 2 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

:derpyderp2: :trixieshiftright:

#8 · Chapter 2 · 132w, 4d ago · · ·

:trixieshiftleft: + :derpyderp2: = a very confusing but hilarious relationship between a 3rd person speaking pony who's pompous and a mailmare who you can't let near a tree or else she may cause a forest fire :)

Trixie will pay for what she did there! No one, I say no one steals Derpy's muffins!

#9 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

Those two seem to be doing well together.

#10 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

Just a couple of errors I found.

But she was injured saving you, a small voice at the back of her mind whispered.

(In this I saw that you had all of it italicized when only the words the voice said should be)

In an strange way, Trixie found herself envying the pegasus her sense of purpose.

(Typo, fix it to "In a strange way,")

#11 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

>>190783 Thanks for pointing those out! As many times as I've go over this, you'd think I would have caught all the typos. :derpytongue2:

#12 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

No problem Deep Pond. It happens to all of us, even the best writers. To fully get your mistakes you need to have another party review it since you tend to gloss over mistakes after writing for long periods of time. If you can't get someone to review it, then just spend a couple or so days doing other things other than writing or even reading. After those few days you can go back and read over what you've written and generally get most if not all of your problems.

#13 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

I have to say this is a delight to read, while the last chapter was a little rushed, this one is improving the pace, for now, everything is alright, I hope you continue this, it's starting to get interesting :trixieshiftright:

:pinkiehappy:

#14 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

>>190837 I actually have a good friend who helped me immensely with the editing and generally making the story better, but those two slipped by both of us.

#15 · Chapter 3 · 132w, 1d ago · · ·

Very good thus far. Nice to see Trixie portrayed accurately.... a ham, an egotist, but neither heartless nor stupid.

#16 · Chapter 4 · 132w, 8h ago · · ·

Big damn hero.

#17 · Chapter 4 · 132w, 8h ago · · ·

Little typo here that I found:

Trixie has seen inchworms more dangerous that you!”

Fix it to than.

#18 · Chapter 4 · 132w, 8h ago · · ·

Derpy to the rescue :derpyderp1:

#19 · Chapter 4 · 132w, 6h ago · · ·

:derpyderp2::trixieshiftleft:

Awesome teamwork!

#20 · Chapter 4 · 132w, 6h ago · · ·

Nice chapter, got me excited :pinkiecrazy:

#21 · Chapter 4 · 132w, 5h ago · · ·

"DERPY DELIVERY!"

It just sounds awesome with the voice BaldDumboRat gives her.

#22 · Chapter 4 · 131w, 6d ago · · ·

Okay I am SO loving this. You really got into Trixie's head here. My own opinion is... she has flaws, yes, but also a lot of strengths too. I can honestly see canon-Trixie doing this. :trixieshiftleft:

#23 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

And Trixie's heart grew three sizes that day.

#24 · Chapter 2 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

Somepony else would have to help Derpy find her missing filly. (Trixie apparently knows Derpy's name).

Couple of lines below that:

“Ooooooooooo!” The pegasus mare's eyes widened with amazement, although they continued to point in two different directions, her sorrow momentarily forgotten. “I'm Derpy!”

“Derpy?

“Derpy Hooves. I'm a mailmare.” (Woops? :P)

#25 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

>>203717 *shakes hoof angrily* Curse thee, typos! :flutterrage:

Thanks. Fixed.

#26 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

I got a slight case off diabetes from this chapter's ending, nice work :applecry:

#27 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

Let's hope that somepony has a little chat:twilightangry2: with the Big Cheese:trollestia: about these jerks.:pinkiehappy:

#28 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

>>203687

Yes!

Is the mother still alive, I can't quite figure it out.

Hey, either way, Trixie could adopt the little colt as her own and cool her ego.

#29 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 4d ago · · ·

>>205365 Is the mother still alive, I can't quite figure it out.

No. Brass referred to him as an orphan and said his Ma died a while back. Also, Jasper only refers to her in the past tense. :fluttershysad:

I guess I could have made that clearer. :twilightblush:

#30 · Chapter 5 · 131w, 4d ago · · ·

>>205639

I knew he was said to be a orphan but I just wasn't sure if it was just the zealot ideal

#31 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Promise just got owned pretty hard :rainbowlaugh:

#32 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Nice ending, seemed a bit rushed in the middle, but as you said, definitely worth it :heart:

#33 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

They should have made this instead of Last Roundup.

#34 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

This is great!  I was doubtful at first, but it turned out to be an excellent piece.

It's gratifying to get a Trixie story that isn't all about Twilight shipping and/or rivalry.  It's even more gratifying to get a story where Trixie seems like the perfect protagonist, such that it's hard to imagine how any other pony could have worked nearly as well.

#35 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Yay, very fun to read story with a heartwarming ending

I want a sequel!

#36 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Bravo. *Applauds*

I never cared much for Trixie though I have known a few stories that made her come out all right.

This one though, just, OWNED! Trixie deserves a blinking medal for telling off that town!

A wonderful story!

#37 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Great ending, there. You did Trixie and Jasper right, there. and she's right, too. :) It's over, though? Aww... but it was great.

#38 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Was a fun story, I enjoyed it enough. Not much else to say. Above average, but not mind blowing ^^

#39 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Awesome story, my heart has a feel.

Only way it could have been MORE satisfying?

If Trixie had contacted the princesses-- and Celestia and Luna had shown up in town and demanded, in full Royal Canterlot Voice, to know if anyone had a problem with THEIR "mixed heritage....."

BTW: the significance of the combination of fireworks she launched, um, isn't made clear.....

I also like that Jasper's name is indicative of his coloration (it's a reddish brown stone with streaks of purple. Clever.)

#40 · Chapter 1 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Quick note, in this chapter the word you used, loathe, should be loath. Easy way to distinguish the two is that loath has a hard TH like in 'thought,' while loathe has a soft TH as in 'the.'

Loath is a feeling of reluctance, while loathe is to hate something.

And while you added an unnecessary letter to it, it is nice to see someone actually attempt to use less common words than 'hate' or 'didn't want to' in such situations. I swear the English language is becoming less interesting with each generation. Keep fighting to rejuvenate this great lingual legacy!

#41 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Words cannot describe how awesome this story is.

#42 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Thanks for all the kind words! Let me address a few things quickly here:

It's gratifying to get a Trixie story that isn't all about Twilight shipping and/or rivalry - Like a lot of MLP:FiM characters, I feel that Trixie has depth. There's more to her than just a snarky showmare.

I want a sequel! - That depends if I get an idea for Trixie and Jasper that's worth writing about. Right now I'm focusing on my other ponyfics (have four in the works, none directly related to this, though one does star Trixie).

If Trixie had contacted the princesses-- and Celestia and Luna had shown up in town and demanded, in full Royal Canterlot Voice, to know if anyone had a problem with THEIR "mixed heritage....." - I didn't do this because (1) I don't see Trixie doing that, and (2) this was ultimately a story about Trixie and who she was, not about bigots getting punished.

BTW: the significance of the combination of fireworks she launched, um, isn't made clear.....

I could have made that clearer. The point was, she shot them off during the daylight, well ahead of her show, to draw attention . . . normally she would have made a more elaborate display instead of just BOOM BOOM!

I also like that Jasper's name is indicative of his coloration (it's a reddish brown stone with streaks of purple. Clever.) - Thankee! I picked the name primarily because it means "treasure," and I wanted a name that had a positive meaning like that. The color thing was a bonus.

Quick note, in this chapter the word you used, loathe, should be loath. Easy way to distinguish the two is that loath has a hard TH like in 'thought,' while loathe has a soft TH as in 'the.' - Thank you. I knew of the two meanings (obviously) but missed which one had an E on the end.

In case anypony cares . . . I got the idea that Trixie has a soft spot for foals, probably because she tolerates Snips and Snails. That lead to the question: How far would Trixie go for a foal in need? Not just physically, but emotionally? This story is my take on the answer.

Thank you all, bronies! :pinkiehappy:

#43 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

Yeah, I figured. I just have an abiding love for the villains getting a Humiliation Conga. If you're familiar with my webcomics you'll know what I mean.

#44 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 3d ago · · ·

D'oohhh...

Eets nice.

Cheers

~iraqlobstah

#45 · Chapter 6 · 131w, 2d ago · · ·

This was fantastic to read. If only this were an episode.

#46 · Chapter 6 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Daaaw that was kind of nice. Well done sir.

#47 · Chapter 3 · 129w, 54m ago · · ·

She gets them lost, gets them attacked, uses their only med-kit, and makes it look like she did all the work; this is why nobody like escort missions. Joking aside I'm liking this story, so on to the next chapter.

#48 · Chapter 4 · 129w, 15m ago · · ·

"Are you going to slither aside an allow us to pass?

*and not "an"

Past the serpent, Trixie caught sight of the gray filly sprinting for the trees, and Derpy dashing towards her, the scarf come loose from her injured wing.

I think this should be; Past the serpent Trixie caught sight of the gray filly sprinting for the trees, and Derpy dashing towards her with the scarf coming loose from her injured wing.

but Derpy Hooves was faster on the wing that it was in the water.

*than not "that".

Just the typos I noticed, on to the next chapter.

#49 · Chapter 5 · 128w, 6d ago · · ·

He frowned with concentration and and was still for several minutes;

must have seen her share of such such feelings.

...typos.

#50 · Chapter 6 · 128w, 6d ago · · ·

far more that Trixie would have anticipated.

*than

Ok, I really liked this story, I would give it a four star but I can't do that anymore; and I can't give it a like either since I already gave it a like after reading chapter one about two weeks ago... so you get this lame comment.

I enjoyed the portrayal of Trixie, you stuck pretty close to the show and made it interesting. I also like that you didn't have the princesses get involved; that sort of writing where a higher power comes in to justify the main character's actions like that... I find it to be very immature although that is the kind of writing they use in the Harry Potter movies so I doubt anyone would call you out on it, but I'm glad you avoided it. Plus the way the story ended with the town was a much more interesting food for thought sort of thing.

Anyway, thanks for the story.

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