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While visiting the earth pony town of Promise, the Great and Powerful Trixie is coerced into searching for a missing foal against her own better judgment. But things are not as straightforward as they first appear. When push comes to shove, what kind of pony is Trixie at heart?
+ 
= a very confusing but hilarious relationship between a 3rd person speaking pony who's pompous and a mailmare who you can't let near a tree or else she may cause a forest fire :)
Trixie will pay for what she did there! No one, I say no one steals Derpy's muffins!
Just a couple of errors I found.
But she was injured saving you, a small voice at the back of her mind whispered.
(In this I saw that you had all of it italicized when only the words the voice said should be)
In an strange way, Trixie found herself envying the pegasus her sense of purpose.
(Typo, fix it to "In a strange way,")
No problem Deep Pond. It happens to all of us, even the best writers. To fully get your mistakes you need to have another party review it since you tend to gloss over mistakes after writing for long periods of time. If you can't get someone to review it, then just spend a couple or so days doing other things other than writing or even reading. After those few days you can go back and read over what you've written and generally get most if not all of your problems.
Somepony else would have to help Derpy find her missing filly. (Trixie apparently knows Derpy's name).
Couple of lines below that:
“Ooooooooooo!” The pegasus mare's eyes widened with amazement, although they continued to point in two different directions, her sorrow momentarily forgotten. “I'm Derpy!”
“Derpy?
“Derpy Hooves. I'm a mailmare.” (Woops? :P)
This is great! I was doubtful at first, but it turned out to be an excellent piece.
It's gratifying to get a Trixie story that isn't all about Twilight shipping and/or rivalry. It's even more gratifying to get a story where Trixie seems like the perfect protagonist, such that it's hard to imagine how any other pony could have worked nearly as well.
Awesome story, my heart has a feel.
Only way it could have been MORE satisfying?
If Trixie had contacted the princesses-- and Celestia and Luna had shown up in town and demanded, in full Royal Canterlot Voice, to know if anyone had a problem with THEIR "mixed heritage....."
BTW: the significance of the combination of fireworks she launched, um, isn't made clear.....
I also like that Jasper's name is indicative of his coloration (it's a reddish brown stone with streaks of purple. Clever.)
Quick note, in this chapter the word you used, loathe, should be loath. Easy way to distinguish the two is that loath has a hard TH like in 'thought,' while loathe has a soft TH as in 'the.'
Loath is a feeling of reluctance, while loathe is to hate something.
And while you added an unnecessary letter to it, it is nice to see someone actually attempt to use less common words than 'hate' or 'didn't want to' in such situations. I swear the English language is becoming less interesting with each generation. Keep fighting to rejuvenate this great lingual legacy!
Thanks for all the kind words! Let me address a few things quickly here:
It's gratifying to get a Trixie story that isn't all about Twilight shipping and/or rivalry - Like a lot of MLP:FiM characters, I feel that Trixie has depth. There's more to her than just a snarky showmare.
I want a sequel! - That depends if I get an idea for Trixie and Jasper that's worth writing about. Right now I'm focusing on my other ponyfics (have four in the works, none directly related to this, though one does star Trixie).
If Trixie had contacted the princesses-- and Celestia and Luna had shown up in town and demanded, in full Royal Canterlot Voice, to know if anyone had a problem with THEIR "mixed heritage....." - I didn't do this because (1) I don't see Trixie doing that, and (2) this was ultimately a story about Trixie and who she was, not about bigots getting punished.
BTW: the significance of the combination of fireworks she launched, um, isn't made clear.....
I could have made that clearer. The point was, she shot them off during the daylight, well ahead of her show, to draw attention . . . normally she would have made a more elaborate display instead of just BOOM BOOM!
I also like that Jasper's name is indicative of his coloration (it's a reddish brown stone with streaks of purple. Clever.) - Thankee! I picked the name primarily because it means "treasure," and I wanted a name that had a positive meaning like that. The color thing was a bonus.
Quick note, in this chapter the word you used, loathe, should be loath. Easy way to distinguish the two is that loath has a hard TH like in 'thought,' while loathe has a soft TH as in 'the.' - Thank you. I knew of the two meanings (obviously) but missed which one had an E on the end.
In case anypony cares . . . I got the idea that Trixie has a soft spot for foals, probably because she tolerates Snips and Snails. That lead to the question: How far would Trixie go for a foal in need? Not just physically, but emotionally? This story is my take on the answer.
Thank you all, bronies! 
Yeah, I figured. I just have an abiding love for the villains getting a Humiliation Conga. If you're familiar with my webcomics you'll know what I mean.
"Are you going to slither aside an allow us to pass?
*and not "an"
Past the serpent, Trixie caught sight of the gray filly sprinting for the trees, and Derpy dashing towards her, the scarf come loose from her injured wing.
I think this should be; Past the serpent Trixie caught sight of the gray filly sprinting for the trees, and Derpy dashing towards her with the scarf coming loose from her injured wing.
but Derpy Hooves was faster on the wing that it was in the water.
*than not "that".
Just the typos I noticed, on to the next chapter.
far more that Trixie would have anticipated.
*than
Ok, I really liked this story, I would give it a four star but I can't do that anymore; and I can't give it a like either since I already gave it a like after reading chapter one about two weeks ago... so you get this lame comment.
I enjoyed the portrayal of Trixie, you stuck pretty close to the show and made it interesting. I also like that you didn't have the princesses get involved; that sort of writing where a higher power comes in to justify the main character's actions like that... I find it to be very immature although that is the kind of writing they use in the Harry Potter movies so I doubt anyone would call you out on it, but I'm glad you avoided it. Plus the way the story ended with the town was a much more interesting food for thought sort of thing.
Anyway, thanks for the story.
I love TGAP Trixie and am glad that she is getting a story. I see her as much like the mane 6 in that she is generally good hearted but has her downside as well. The difference is in the show only her bad side is emphisised. I see her as being giving to the people, and entertainer and hard worker. Her downside is that (like most entertainers) she has an ego and is boastful. I think a mini-series about TGAPT would make a great spin-off. I looke forward to reading the rest of this story.
Found this story from the EQD feature. A possible idea for a sequel. In the first chapter Trixie experienced how petty small town officials abuse the fine print of the law firsthoof. She might consider it a good idea to become Jasper's legal guardian officially just in case somepony gets it into their heads that a "No-good wastrel of a showpony" has no business raising a foal and tries to take Jasper away from her.
Therefore a trip to Canterlot to deal with the Bureaucracy and ensuing headaches thereof. Meanwhile Jasper who likely has an extremely limited education whose only knowledge of unicorns is heavily filtered through Promise's bigotry and whatever Trixie managed to explain (Whose own viewpoint is less than unbiased albeit in the other direction) now has to entertain himself it the unicorn capital of Equestria. Result: A lot of hilarious dialogue.
A funny potential wrinkle; Trixie finds out that Twilight Sparkle is Celestia's personal student and is in regular correspondence with the Princess. Assuming Twilight had the extremely negative reaction of Trixie that much of the fandom misappropriates to her and gave Celestia the whole story. Trixie does everything in her power to keep Celestia from finding out about her adoption request. Again assuming that if the Princess finds out about it Jasper will be taken away from her for sure. Hijinks ensue.
Dat premise!
I..I...I think I love you. I can't agree more about the misappropriation of anger many bronies like to give Twilight in regards to her reaction to Trixie. It's maddening. Twilight showed nothing even close to hostility toward Trixie or anypony in Boast Busters. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike and Applejack have a mostly insignificant reason to dislike her, but none of them have any reason to show the flat out hatred of her that some bronies like to attribute to Twilight. I don't even think Trixie knows Twilight's name.
>>582598 that sounds like a great idea, but what if Twilight was in canterlot at the same time and by chance she meets Jasper who tells her about the young mare who saved his life but actually telling her the mares name. Then Twilight finds out about Trixie wanting to adopt a young colt and at first she is against it until she finds out that the colt is actually Jasper and realizes that Trixie was the one who saved him.
Oh my god that ending.
I think that this fic could stand to have been about half the length it ended up being, in terms of chapter count; it flows well this way, but longer chapters might have made it feel less rushed on the whole.
That said, this is a fantastic fic and an excellent use of Trixie as a character. Good job.
I have only one thing to say to you: Thank You.
That was one of the most perfect stories I've read about Trixie, who is not nearly looked at in the light you show her often enough. I am so very happy that Brass didn't turn out to be Jasper's father like I was thinking, or if he was, he kept it hidden to the end. The ending that happened was beautiful, and I couldn't be happier with it. Again, even though this was in no way written for me, I must thank you anyway. This has made me love Trixie even more, and wish that more people could see her the way we do. Thank you!
4 months? 4 months =_= finally got to reading this 4 month old open tab and I have to say that ending was... really something. Poor colt may have found a filly friend and maybe convinced each other to run away together and start a new life some where. Only to have both lives cut short by a sudden, blinding, mudslide. Poor ignorant foals, driven by despair and young love/friendship only to meet a gruesome end. 
Trixie looking at the heap of mud, no more hoofprints to follow, head looking up to the sides of a cliff/mountain where the rain had weakened the sides and caused the scene before her. Poor Trixie, she sure wasn't expecting to come to such a sudden stop in her search... 
Well enough of my interpretations and spoiling a good chapter for those who like to just jump straight to comments, lets see if I can get in a chapter or two more before I have to go back to what I should be reading on my queue list 
Here is a possible side story idea, although this is ended perfectly, you could have Trixie and Jasper go to ponyville. Or have Jasper go alone and give a show, then explain what Trixie did for him and Dinky.
Just ideas, I couldn't make it work and I don't know anyone else who could either.
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