During the dragon migration, an evil dragon attacks Ponyville. Twilight and friends are able to chase it off but not after it has destroyed a few houses. One of these is the house of Scootaloo, who was in school at the time. Her parents were caught in the debris of the crumbling house and were crushed beneath it. Now Scootaloo has no family and nowhere to live. Seeing Rainbow Dash feeling guilty for the accident, her friends convince her to take responsibility for the young filly. And so Rainbow Dash adopted Scootaloo as her younger sister. These are the days that they have spent together.
The sequel is out here
Chapters (11)
Interesting... Short chapters that are not going too fast. GO ON
a dragon kills two ponies and there is no retribution o.O
My feels
Ok, i'm going to be honest here. I'm crying. The last part was just so beautiful
2308100
Thank you, I almost cried writing it.
Sequel, now. That is..if you don't mind
Scootaloo seems too happy. Her parents have just died! but she's acting like they never existed
I would suggest research on the matter and coming back to rewrite these chapters
2311893 xD true true
2336729
chapter six is the big confliction chapter where it shows that she had been having problems with that fact, before then there were only very short time lapses in the story, no real time in between for the conflict to develop until after chapter five when the time lapses get longer.
This entire Fan Fic was one big D'AWWWWW for me
It's rushed. But I hope you can come back and re edit it.
2437587 I suppose I should, I have been debating it but I haven't really had the time lately to look it over. I'll start re-editing it when I can... there may end up being more chapters later
A very good read. I'd say the only improvement needed is that the beginning seems a little rushed. I think you just need to flesh out the process of Rainbow Dash deciding to adopt Scootaloo because it feels like she made the decision rather quickly, without any reservations. I really would just like to see more in this. Now, onto the sequel.
2665165 Whilst I am still planning to (eventually) edit and rewrite a few chapters, the part you're pointing out is supposed to be a little rushed. It wasn't meant for Dashie to have put much thought into it, but I suppose when I go back I could make the plot there a little more clear.
Really liked this story, only criticism I have about it is that it progressed really quickly, might've been a bit better to drag it out a bit but still a really nice story
2922173 Thank you, and yes, just about everyone who has read it has said the same thing. This was my very first fanfic after all and I'm still not that experienced a writer but I'm still planning on going through this story and rewriting it some. It's doubtful that it'll happen anytime soon but it will get done.
2923429
Yea, its pretty darn good considering this was your first, I'm definitely going to re-read this when you do get round to editing it :)
Wait! how will her talent be lightning if she cant fly????
3126012
You must read the sequel to find out...
im late and shes just going to adopt scoots out of guilt,
that's pathetic , and wrong.
do it out love, not guilt.
*cough* Guilt! *cough*
sorry.
there basically telling scoots to forget about it...
why?
3362840
It's been a while since I looked at this, I still plan on going through and rewriting parts and editing the whole thing.
And the million dollar question of today is...
What is wrong with this sentence?
Re-reading the series. I could have sworn that I faved this, and missed the extra chapter (the sad Scoot one.).
I belive you brought up bilked biceps. The answer to his wing problem: steroids.
This story is perfect
2311865 she is trying to hide her sadness
8115709 ???
Whilst I posted that comment over 4 years ago I just have to ask this.
Is sadness really that easy to hide? Or is it just bad character development at play here? Honestly I don't care anymore since this issue was brought up 4 years ago, but whatever.
Next time don't bother trying to get your two cents in on something that's so old I don't even remember this sub par story.
I feel Sorin is trying to marry rainbow dash
The lighting bolt did not hit her heart instead it his rainbow's and scootalo is flash in pony version
Damn, my heart just felt ripped apart. Mark for storms and may never fly....the feels!
5665538
I'm re-reading this story as well
gah the feels