Human in Equestria16,966 stories ·16,805 members
Sad4,351 stories ·2,622 members
The Writers' Group56,344 stories ·9,285 members
Dark8,309 stories ·3,759 members
A creature of old has been present in Equestria since the beginning of the rule of the alicorns, watching, waiting. He saw their fall and the sisters' rise to power. Now, for the first time in eons, he steps from watching and takes action.
Page generated in 0.408 seconds
Total duration
965 users online
154,518 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ha thats a fun idea, someone that out does Celestia by many Alicorn generations.
Nice! I've actually had an idea scarily similar to this bouncing around in my head for a while. I'm just terrible at writing, so I never tried it.
I'm very interested to see where this goes.
Wow great idea cant wait to see where this goes
Well this is interesting, I think I'm gonna camp out here for a while....
Write more please
Sir, you're on to something. Something great.
Well this is tickling my interest!
More please, interested me, you have!
this looks like its going to be awesome
I love it!!!! Cant wait for chapter 2!
i reeeeeaaaaaaallly like where this is going! Inter dimensional politics.....and i can barely stand dealing with one countries politics
Very nicely done good sir
I imagine The Watcher`s voice as Gough from Dark Souls.
P.S: I really wanted to state that you can make a damn fine Celestia in all you stories.
Hooked, lined, and...never mind. But very good chapter
this just keeps getting more interesting i wonder how the mane 6 will react to him poor fluttershy is probaly going to be so scared of him she'll have a heart attack
This is definetly a gem of a story! I can not wait to see more!
Looking very promising. A mysterious observer possibly pre-dating the whole of Equestria, watching... what? Their development as a species? To what end?
I do have one question. Is 'purveyor' really the word you meant to use here? I ask, because it roughly means 'salesman', or at least someone who offers or supplies something. That seems really out of place here, and 'surveyor', meaning someone who carefully examines or scrutinizes something, is only a one-letter difference and fits much better.
damn son, this is some awesome shit. There's not much to say, but the story is original and the characters are believable.
great chapter! keep up the good work
Wow... A HiE story that got me hooked on the first chapter...Normaly that takes me at least two or three chapters!
Holy bloody crap this is amazing. I'm shaking, and it's not my usual over excitable demeanor, it's just that good. Need to read the next chapter before I explode.
2287238 Purveyor, a person who purveys, provides, or supplies. There is an intent to this, you may start to understand better with the upcoming chapter ^^
This is bucking epic!
I have high expectations of this fic.
2287618
I was wondering, it did seem like an odd mistake to make, given the otherwise perfect English.
Curious. And somewhat ominous, given he has apparently done very little interfering for a very long time. The big question now is, what does he supply, and to whom? Waiting with bated breath!
This is pretty good I like the idea I shall read on and hopefully find out more about this shadow man.
The choice of the word purveyor makes me think of some ancient being who offers worlds as his wares.
How did he become how he is why and how did the void gov come to be and why do surveyors observe planets? This id like to find out.
Please do go on.
Whoah. yeah. I gotta get me some of that. MOAR please.
2287023 But when done well, they always seem to be enjoyably fun to read.
The premise of this story seems good, I am going to read it this evening.
I was kinda hoping for this to go a different way. but oh well, this is your story and this seems just as good as the other idea.
2287618>>2287658 Ominous....
i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll36/Bigsteve87/Gifs/tumblr_lkckhvUvt91qdy0p3o1_500.gif
Oh my dear author. This a very interesting concept. I have to say that I demand more of this!
I am hooked already. Just what is this 'purveyor' doing in Equestria? Looking for a world to conquer? A new home? Resources? Oh well, I guess I'll find out in future chapters.
This brings such a promise! Definitely will follow, although chapters could be a tad bit longer. Maybe around 4k.
Is this...Starcraft I sense ?
Love it
Well crap, I don't like what this entails. "Purveyor"? "Thirty-five worlds"? Yes, fantastic ways to give me a feeling of "oh crap".
But damn if this isn't exiting as hell. Awesome work, author.
Looks like another great story!
*Alondro, the all-powerful Deux Ex Insert, prepares to god-mode the hell out of these interlopers should their intent prove machiavellian* No one... NO ONE... screws around with MY PONIES!!!
Good start, and very little grammatical errors. ME LIKEY!
(The Grammar Nazi in me is currently killing the braincells responsible for the atrocity in grammar written above)
I survive on great stories such as this one. Please, give us more to enjoy.
My first though when i saw the title ''the watcher'' was: Slenderman stalking ponies :P
Lol, come back from work thinking: 'Wonder how the new story is going... let's take a look.' over two hundred notes in the box and many new faces following me...
thanks, everyone. makes my day to see you enjoy my writing.
2289245 thanks for reminding me to follow you
don't forget to update the reader! i like that story too!
2289272 I'm constantly alternating between the stories. Don't worry
Looking around fimfiction when i suddenly see this fic in feature box. At first the description got my attention but when i saw the author i couldn't resist. Hope this doesn't draw you away from the reader too much.
Ooooh. This, I like.
This opening is TOTTALY AWSOME!!
Even considering how short it is.
Tiny criticism: watch for little words, your missing a couple of ofs, or 'a's. I would have also suggested putting a line in from Celestias perspective where she casts the tracking spell, becuase at the moment (at least in my opinion
) it feels a bit rushed/conveniant that the Watcher immediately finds himself followed.
Looking forard to more!!!
Still awsome! And I can't wait for more!!!
Here's my theory, the Purveyor's watch a world untill it's ripe with something, not sure what yet, then they tell the concil and the Royal Family swoops in and
A) Consumes the World / it's resources.
B) Integrates the world into some inter void society.
C) Retrieve something that isn't possible to get somewhere else.
D) some combination of the 3.
Holy mother of chunk. This is legendary and I LOVE IT. I DEMAND MORE!!!!!
Ok I have to admit, one of the more interesting openings for an HiE I've seen in a while. Plenty of room for it to crash into a brick wall at high speed but, this is a good example of how to do a 'hook' properly.