3-part fic.
Update's planned as eventual - no tell me to rush'em.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Woah.
Woah.
Duuuuude!
Gandalf the Grey goes in, Gandalf the White comes out.
When I read "At least Celestia level", I was thinking "at least Gandlf level"
Duuuuude!
I am just barely familiar enough with the Tolkien backstory to know that yeah, Gandalf would automatically turn into a pony when visiting a pony dimension. Semi-automatically, at least.
Balrogs and Wizards?! Nice.
However, there was one mistake. Twilight is a talented dancer. Anyone saying otherwise got muffled by gigantic mustaches and beards! Obviously her dance moves are just so ahead of their time that lesser talents feel embarrassed to witness such greatness!
181094 She did the Elaine. THE ELAINE! It takes talent, yes...but so does stapling yourself to the wall.
What is this I don't even-
AH. Me gusta.
181102
“ Do the bustle! Do do doo do doo do do doo doot, do do doo do doo do doo doo doot!”
DO THE MONKEY WITH ME
182447 WOAH, MAMA!
182850
My entire week was just made great
“ The Everfree Forest.” answered Twilight.
“ Not Lothlorien?”
That was my "oh no you didn't" moment. But he did.
Hmmmmmmmm alicorn Gandalf.........HELL YEAH
But what is this........
Alicorn Balrog.......
YEEEAAAHHHH
You're missing several apostrophes. For example, "lets" instead of "let's".
A couple cases of having apostrophes where there shouldn't be any: "There was somepony else in the clearing, an ash colored alicorn with the wound from a sword in it’s side." That should be "its". Helpful rule of thumb: "its" is used as a possessive.
A few typos. “ What they hey is this thing?”. "they" should be "the", or if you're trying for the accent, "tha'".
"that bunny had ben enormous." "ben" should be "been".
There might be more, that's what I found during a read-through.
“ Avert your eyes from the Royal Wingboner!”
Bwahahaha!
“ Avert your eyes from the Royal Wingboner!”
Definitely tracking...
LunaxBalrog....
and general snooping as usual.... you managed to get that joke in oh my lord this was great.
189698 PROMOTIONS
i love how you worked in a 'Arson Murder and Jaywalking'. your stories always crack me up.
194989 I never noticed your icon had Stephan Maegnaut in it before. Good show!
195272 it didnt until i decided to draw him with pencil, color him in photoshop, and put an epic explosion behind him. i consider it my finest moment.
189202
OTP!
This was hysterical. Poor Woona; she's in for a hell of a disappointment.
"A parasprite with nunchuks."
ROTFL
something I don't entirely understand: Balrogs have existed in Equestria before. And it was dead. Now it's alive and an alicorn. It was following the 'dimensional dress-code' because it's kind existed there already. And while I'm at it: DAMN YOU MORGOTH!!!!!
“ My dear, I fear you are standing on my beard.”
Also: One of the best lines ever!!
Just a few errors. I've marked the corrections in red. I noticed that these corrections are a little late but better late than never, right? Right! I've also noticed that you're putting a space between the paranthese
He ran and pressed it shut in case they tried to come in.
“ Sorry, the library is closed!” he shouted in fear, pressing against the wooden barrier.
At that moment they became aware of a strange event unfolding ten steps to their left. They did not hear or see any sign of what was about to unfold, they merely knew. They all turned to look as Twilight Sparkle, dweeb extraordinaire, moonwalked from the library to the kitchen.
“ What the hay is this thing?”
This story is inaccurate. Gandalf died after his encounter with me.
why hasn't this story updated since last year?
Balrogs are equal parts creatures of flame and shadow. Extinguish the fire and you strengthen the shadow. Drive away the shadow and you strengthen the flame.
But, eh, you know, close enough.
I'm trying. I really am. It's hypnotic.