Groups
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64w, 3dShipping
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64w, 3dCelestia & Luna
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64w, 3dSad
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64w, 3dWriting Gold
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64w, 3dThe Writer's Group
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64w, 3dTwilestia is Bestia
- Show All Groups
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6w, 1dLuna Is The Best Pony
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55w, 4dfinished
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38w, 4dTwilight's Library
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18w, 11hCompleted Story Compendium
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9w, 4dCrack Ships Inc.
Warnings and Disclaimers:
The plot for this work was developed prior to the release of season 2 and is no longer able to be reconciled with canon. Please consider it to be an alternate universe work based on season 1.
The original prologue 1 is no longer considered to be a part of this work and has been retconned away.
Characters in this work are property of their respective owners, I do not own any of them, and do not intend to make any sort of profit off of this work.
This My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction involves shipping. If you don't know what that means, please go read up on it at http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Shipping before reading.
If you are made uncomfortable by ANY form of romance between ANY two intelligent beings, this fanfiction may not be to your liking. Continue only with caution.
And now, on with the show
Comments ( 3 )
A suprisingly interesting read. I would class it more adventure/slice of life so far, though I can see a growing romance between Applejack and Luna. You have given Luna a depth few care to give, and an interesting twist to each of them.
I hope you finnish this soon so I can read the rest of it. It seems rather interesting, and I would like to see what happens. I also want to see what happens when Luna tells Applejack about the bad things she had to do in the past.
What you just wrote is the best encapsulation of the mindset of Celestia I have ever read. Absolutely perfect. I have read quite a few that attempt to grasp at this but you went all the way. I am shocked that nopony has commented on it but then I am equally shocked that it is not more popular then it is. I love the psychological side of what you have created, the recriminations Celestia feels. I have no idea how this is going to turn into a shipfic but I am very interested in finding out.
My only possible suggestion for improvement would be to develop Celestia's transition from "tyrant" to her current form. You touch upon this when she says when she used the Elements of Harmony it showed her how flawed her hearts vision was. I don't know if you expand upon this in later chapters, if so ignore me, but there I see the only real flaw. Why did wielding the elements of harmony without understanding their true potential grant her a glimpse of her delusions? This in no way is a major problem and it could be you are lamp-shading it on purpose. Grammatically I am not the pony to ask. I saw no errors and it flowed very nicely. All in all a very interesting chapter, one I will be most interested in continuing with.
Nikola of Tesla,
Head of Applied Magic, Canterlot Institute of Technology







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