“BRO-SKI!!” I yelled in my best Russian accent hugging Matt tightly “I have not seen you since old country!”

MATT’SHEREMATT’SHEREMATT’SHERE!!!!!  WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

“Dude, how’d you get here?!” Matt asked returning the hug.

“I’ve gotta ask you the same thing, but for now, come inside!  Pinkie Pie here is throwing me a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party!” I said bringing him inside.

Matt had a brown briefcase and his backpack.  I could guess the brown case was a saxophone case, but this case was new.  It was bigger, suggesting it was a tenor sax inside.  His backpack was seemingly full to the brim just as mine was.  I introduced him to the six ponies at the party, all of whom he already knew from the show.  He was a brony, unlike me, he was in heaven.  The fact he was a brony was really showing through as he struggled to hold back fan-boyish squeals of delight when he heard the ponies address him.  He had some difficulty not finishing the pony’s names as they introduced themselves.

Hey, dude…  How’d Matt get here?

Indeed, how the hell did he end up here?

“So, when and how did you get here Matt?” I asked.

“Well, I actually don’t know how I got here.” He replied “I went to bed last night and woke up this morning in the middle of the Everfree Forest.  Once I got out of the forest, I was near a cottage with a lot of animals, but no one was home.  So, I decided to make my way into town, hoping I’d find someone I knew.”

“Oh dear, that must’ve been my cottage.” Fluttershy said “I’m sorry I couldn’t have helped you earlier, I had to run some errands for my animal friends and then I was late for the party so I had to come here right away, please forgive me.”

“Aw, it’s alright Fluttershy.  Nothing happened to me, so no harm done.” Matt said smiling at Fluttershy holding back another squeal of delight at her cuteness, she returned the smile. “How’d you get here Jimmy?” he asked turning to me.

“Well, I’ve got almost the same story as you.” I replied “I went to bed last night and then woke up on a hill outside of Ponyville.  Pinkie Pie found me and brought me to Twilight’s house to see if there was a way to get us back home.”

“And?” Matt turned to Twilight “Is there a way for us to get home?  Not that I want to so far, because you girls seem pretty awesome, but is there a way?"  Twilight shook her head.

“I’m sorry Matt, but it seems you two are from the very distant past.  This world was ruled by humans thousands of years ago and during ‘World War Three’, as it’s referred to.  The humans destroyed many of the countries that made up the world you knew.  In the process, humans became extinct.  Some years later, ponykind rose from the ashes of human civilisation.  I’m sorry, but, not a single spell exists that could take you back in time, even if one did exist, I’m sure it would be impossible to send you both back that far.  At least not forever, you might be able to go back for about thirty seconds if you’re lucky.”

“How can you be so sure we’re from the past?” Matt asked “How do you know we’re not from another world or dimension?”

“Well, honestly, I wouldn’t know.  It is possible that you could be from another world.” Twilight replied “I say you are both from the distant past because humans did exist in this world at one point.  If you were from another dimension or another world, we would have no knowledge of humans at all.”

Matt eyed the floor; it looked like he couldn’t believe that there was no way of getting back to our world.  I thought he would’ve been happy about it.  He’s in Equelvia, I mean, that’s every brony’s dream, isn’t it?

“Matt.” I said walking over to him “It doesn’t matter that we can’t explain how we got here.  Hell, it doesn’t even matter how we got here.  What matters is that we’re both here and that we’re together.  We’ll be fine.  Even if there is no way to get back, at least we’ve got each other out here.” I said in an attempt to reassure him “And look.” I said extending my arm, pointing to the group of ponies “It’s not just us here, we’ve got them too.  We’ll be fine.”

“Heh, I didn’t look at it like that I guess.” Matt said giving a smile.  Looked like he was accepting the fact we’d be here for a while.  I guess he’s seeing the positive side now.

“Hey, no big deal, when I first got here, that’s all I was focused on too.” I replied.  “Anyway, we’ve got a party going on here!  Also, I was about to play some tunes, join me?”

“Let’s do this!” He said opening the brown case to reveal a shiny new tenor saxophone.

“Nice sax, you know how to handle it?” I asked jokingly.

“Naw man, I dunno what the ass I’m supposed to do with this.” He replied.

“I bet you gotta pluck those strings on it in order to play it!”

“Oh right!” He said moving his hand back and forth across the side of the saxophone attempting to pluck the invisible strings as the sax made clicking sounds across the switches he ‘plucked’. “Perfect!”

“Alright man, let’s play for real now.” I said picking up my guitar again.

“What songs are we doing?” Matt asked.

“Let’s start with Whatsername.” I replied, Matt nodded and we turned to face our audience “Okay, this first song is by a rock band called Green Day, it’s called Whatsername.” I said to the ‘crowd’.

We played through the song with Matt playing what would be the lead guitar arranged for a saxophone.  After that first song, Pinkie wanted to play along with us.  She left the room for hardly a second and reappeared with a full drum kit with which she was able to give us a basic rhythm section.  

Our little group played through Hitchin’ a Ride, Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Basket Case to name a few of the Green Day songs we performed.  We also went through Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones, Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down, The Scientist by Coldplay, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and finally Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

Somehow, Pinkie knew the drum parts to each song she played.  When I asked Matt how she knew them, he just told me she knew them because “She’s Pinkie Pie”.  There were a few things more things she could do which I couldn’t explain as well such as dangling in mid-air upside down in front of me and appearing in two places at once.  I decided that that explanation would have to apply to those things too.

All the while, the audience watched and listened intently.  The music of many years ago intrigued the six ponies and greatly entertained them too.  There was really nopony who seemed especially intrigued by the songs, as they were all equally interested.  All of them sat quietly throughout each song and cheered loudly at the end of every one.

At the end of Stairway to Heaven, the cheers were louder than they had been the whole night.

“That was incredible!” Said Twilight.

“That was AWESOME!” Shouted Rainbow Dash.

“Your performance was absolutely marvelous, darlings!” Said Rarity.

“That there’s the best guitar ‘n sax playin’ Ah’ve ever seen!” Said Applejack.

“You guys were so good!” Fluttershy said slightly above her normal volume.

“Woo! Let’s do it again!” yelled Pinkie from behind the kit.

Of course, all of these shouts were not in any specific order and were shouted along with the rest of the cheering all at once.  Those were simply the shouts I was able to pick out.

“Thanks guys, it means a lot knowing you like our music!” I said gratefully.

Thank Christ for that.  Their expressions seem sincere, they like us.  Means we aren’t TOTAL shit at what we’re doing.  Then again, they could just be really good actors.

“Like it?” said Applejack.

“We LOVE it!” Rarity continued.  For a moment, everypony looked at Rarity slightly puzzled “What?  I know I don’t always agree with Applejack, but I can certainly agree with her on the fact that these two are very, very good at playing their music.”

“Aw, thanks guys.” I said “I especially have to thank you, Pinkie.  It was nice to have a drummer through those songs.” Pinkie giggled with delight.

“Umm… Jimmy?” Fluttershy asked quietly “If you don’t mind, could you play us one of the songs you’ve written?  That is, if you want to, I mean, I don’t want to impose…”

“Of course I can, my dear.” I replied cheerfully, I turned to Matt and said “Goodbye Valentine.” I put my capo on the 2nd fret and began playing in F# to a song I wrote basically telling a girl to bugger off because she had screwed me over and I didn’t want anything to do with her.  As the song finished, we were given the same kind of cheering we had gotten for Stairway to Heaven.

“That was terrific!” Twilight said “Do you have any more original songs?”

“I do, but, I can only remember all the words to one more, I’m not entirely sure you’d understand… Ah, what the hell, it doesn’t matter.” I said as I took off the capo and started playing a riff using power chords starting in D# to a song about dealing drugs that could also be easily interpreted as a song about sex.  They all cheered loudly at the end of the song much like they had for the past two songs.  After the cheering came the questions.  I was prepared.

WAIT!!!  MY BODY ISN’T READY!!!  DON'T START UN-

“How come you didn’t think we’d understand the song?” Twilight asked.

“Well, Twilight, what did you think the song was about?” I replied raising an eyebrow.  I had planned to test them to see how much the ponies were aware of.  I wanted to see if they knew about sex and things like that.  Surely they must, this isn’t a children’s show, even though they were characters from one.

“Well… Uhh… It sounded like it was about sex, is that right?” She blushed a little while giving her statement.

“Well, to be honest, yes and no.” I said.  Twilight raised an eyebrow puzzled as to what I meant. “The song can be interpreted as a song about sex.  But I actually wrote the song from the points of view of a drug dealer and a buyer.  Not from my own experience, I just thought it was a cool idea.”

“Drugs?” Twilight asked “What do you mean?”

“Ah, so that much you’re aware of.” I replied after putting down my guitar and getting a cupcake from the food table.  After taking a bite of the delicious cupcake, I turned to face Twilight and the other ponies.

Be careful with what you say, lad…

“Well, in our world, we have illegal drugs.  Drugs pertain to different chemicals mixed together and sometimes cooked to make something you inject into your blood stream or something you snort.  The drugs have different effects, some make you hallucinate, others make you completely numb, some make you believe you’re invincible and you cut your face off and wear it as a loincloth.”

“But… Why would people take them if they do such bad things?” Fluttershy asked looking horrified.

I don’t care if she’s horrified right now because of what you’re telling her, she’s still fucking adorable.

“Well, people get stressed with their lives and think of it as a way of coping with their problems.  The drugs are very addictive and give them a ‘release’ from their problems.  Really, all they do is just make problems for themselves.  See, these people pay exorbitant amounts of money for the drugs and they end up putting themselves out on the streets, doing whatever filth they can to get money just so they can get their next fix.  It’s disgusting.  But hey, that’s the reality of the world I just left behind.”

“That sounds truly awful!” said Twilight “But why do you know so much about them?”

Don’t fucking tell the truth, don’t do it, do-

“Because,” I started “my dad sold these drugs to people…”

You twat.

“… Any drug, every drug, he could get it for whoever wanted them as long as they had the cash.” The looks on the ponies’ faces blatantly showed that they were horrified by this.

It’s time to stop posting in this thread, son.  You’ve said enough.

“As I can tell, you don’t really want to hear any more about my messed up life, so I’ll save it for another time.  You guys don’t have to worry about me, I’ve never done any, I’m smarter than those people.  The other thing is that drugs don’t exist in this world, so you don’t have to worry about that ever affecting ponykind.”

“Wait a minute,” said Matt looking very surprised “Your dad was a dealer?”

“Yeah.” I replied “But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Sure it doesn’t, but still man, that’s pretty messed up for you.”

“Huh, you think?” I replied.  I paused for a brief moment as I finished my cupcake.

Inb4 you go against the only good advice I’ve given you all day about shutting the fuck up about this subject.

“And he goes and tells me this shit like it’s the most normal thing on the planet.  Tells me he’s killed people, tells me he’s burned down people’s houses, tells me all kinds of shit.” I was on the brink of exploding in rage.

For fuck’s sake man!  Stop b-

“You know what the worst part of it all was?  It was that I could never turn him in.  I had his word that he did it, and had seen him do it, and heard him do it.  But I never had the evidence to do it.  It would never work.  That’s what FUCKS WITH MY HEAD THE MOST!” I yelled.  The ponies expressions showed confusion and even slight fear at this point.

SHUT UP ALREADY!!

No…  I need to say this…

NO YOU DON’T MAN!!  SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  JUST LISTE-

“Hah, and the reason he did it all?  What’s the reason he picked it back up?” I asked rhetorically “Oh, I’ll tell you why.  It’s because he wanted me to BE PROUD of him.” I was pacing around now staring at the floor and shouting, everypony watching as I emotionally and mentally exploded in front of them.

“Isn’t that some shit?  He wanted me to be proud.  Yes, be PROUD that he killed people.  Be PROUD he burnt people’s homes to the ground when they complained about him.  Be PROUD he went around fucking every woman he looked at and rubbing it in his son’s face when he knew I could never even get close to having a girlfriend and never even had one to begin with.  And all the while, claims to love me.  ALL OF IT’S SHIT!!!  HE COULDN’T EVEN TELL SOMEONE WHY HE LOVED ME WHEN THEY ASKED!!!  IT’S… IT’S…” I finally broke down and cried.  I couldn’t shout anymore.  Nothing could fix what had to deal with.  I’d never told anyone about it.  I finally broke.

Good job, dipshit.  You just put yourself in the worst position possible.  They all probably think you’re some fucking psych ward escapee now.  Look, here comes Doctor Fluttershy, ready to lobotomise your dumb ass.

To my surprise, Fluttershy came over to me.  Why?  I asked myself.  Why is she walking over to me?  She wiped a tear from my eye.

“It’s okay Jimmy, you don’t have to worry about your dad or any of those bad people anymore.” She said with a light, comforting smile “You’re far away from him now, and you’ve got a bunch of friends here who want to help you make a new life.  Away from all of those bad things and people you’ve had to deal with.” I looked around the room to see Matt and the rest of the ponies smiling at me.

Wow…  That was…  Unexpected…  You knew that would happen?

I had not a Goddamned clue…  She's so...  Kind...

“Th-thanks, Fluttershy…” I said wiping away another tear.  I looked over to everypony else. “I’m sorry for my outburst just now everypony.  I’ll try not to do that, especially at a party again.  Speaking of which, we’re still at a party, let’s have some fun while we’re still here!” I said wanting to rekindle the happy times we were having earlier on.

The party came back to life again for the next few hours.  It was good, I felt better than I had in a while.  I suppose letting some people know about what was troubling me was a good idea.

As I stood by the drink table, getting myself some cider, I was reminded of my lack of outfits.  I was also reminded of my unemployment.  Thirdly, I needed to see what Matt had with him as far as money and clothing went.

I walked over to Matt who was standing against a wall, watching Twilight attempt to dance.  He was holding back laughter.  But failing.  Miserably.

“Hey, Matt.  Do you have any clothes in your bag?” I asked him.

“Erm… Only one change of clothes, why?” He replied.

“We need to organise something with Rarity to get some clothing, yeah?”

“Yeah, that would be a good idea.” He replied as he tapped Rarity on the shoulder as she passed behind him.

“Rarity, err, me and Jimmy are gonna need some clothing really soon, could we organise something for us to come over by you tomorrow so we could get some done for us?” Matt asked.

“Why of course, dear.” She replied “I’ve already organised for Jimmy to come over, I can fit you in as well for sure.  Come over around 1 o’clock so I can do your measurements.”

“Thanks Rarity!” Matt and I said simultaneously.

“Dude, I just realised something, you haven’t organised to stay with anypony.” I told him. “Hold on a sec, Pinkie!” she bounced over.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” She asked.

“Matt’s gonna need a place to stay, can he stay with us?  Do you have an extra bed he could sleep on?”  I asked

“Oh yeah!  I’ll go move it into the guest room now!” She said as she disappeared up the stairs before I could ask if she wanted help moving it.

“Okay, so that’s done, now, we need to get jobs.  So we need to a-” I turned to where Matt was standing but he was already talking to Pinkie who was back already and over by the punch table.

“Huh, he’s quick.” I said to myself, I walked over to the punch table.

“So, what’re you guys talking about?” I asked.

“Matt’s our new cashier!” she said cheerfully.

“Ah…” I replied.

He took your job!!!  He took yer job!!!  He took yer jerb!!!  Yelled several voices in my head as I thought of how to reply other than throwing a computer monitor at his face or rallying a group of rednecks to revert his employment status to what it was a matter of seconds ago.

“… Very good Matt, you’ve secured your employment, now to secure mine…” I said as I looked around to somepony I thought would have work for me.  I eyed Applejack.

Hey, remember your thing for Southern girls?

Goddamnit, give me useful information now, not what I like in a girl dammit.

Oh ho ho, I know what you like in a girl, if you know what I mean.

Jesus Christ man...

Oh fine, she runs an orchard; maybe she’d need some help harvesting and stuff.

Seems solid, let’s give it a go.

Ha, solid...  Like yo-

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER FUCKING DIRTY THOUGHTS, IN MY MOTHER FUCKING BRAIN!

I walked over to Applejack.

“Hey Applejack, umm, listen…” I started.

Yeah, start by being awkward about asking her about employment, dumbshit.  That’ll get you far.

“…  Do you need any help over at Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Well, Ah s’pose Ah do need some help around the farm.  Why d’you ask?” she replied.

“See, I need to earn some money so me and Matt can buy our own place, I can’t exactly stay in Pinkie’s guest bedroom forever, y’know?”

“Ah understand sugar cube.” She replied “Come by the farm on Monday at 6 a.m. and Ah’ll see what kinda work I can put you up to.”

“Thanks Applejack!” I said.

“No problem, sugar cube!”

The party continued for another hour or so, it was 1 am by the time everypony had left.  I started cleaning up the place but Pinkie stopped me.

“You don’t have to worry about this!  I’ll have this done in a jiffy!” Pinkie said, suddenly, a pink blur zoomed around all the tables that cleaned up all the tables and floors and took down all the decorations in about 10 seconds flat.  Matt and I stood with our mouths agape as there was not a single trace of there being a party here.

She would’ve been useful last year at that one party with the booze and the pool and the waking up in the laundry basket with the dog on top of you and Matt’s parents flipping out at everyone because the house was a shitstorm, don’t you agree?

I think Matt’s thinking exactly the same thing.

He must’ve been.  His eyes were shifting from the ceiling to the tables and to the floor over and over.  Just as they had the year before…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Matt awoke on the floor of his patio.  Next to him lay an open bag of Doritos.  His body felt heavy.  Just a side effect of sleeping.  He thought.

“Doriiiitossss…” He said reaching into the bag taking a handful of crushed Doritos.

Suddenly, several questions flew through Matt’s mind as he opened his eyes and observed his surroundings more closely.

Why was he on the floor?  Why were there crushed Doritos?  Why are people strewn across the floor?  Why was the rum gone?

“Oh shit.” Matt said out loud.  He jumped to his feet.  The evidence of Matt’s booze party was everywhere.  People were asleep on the floor as well as the couches and even the dining table.  Spilt booze and food covered the floor.  In the pool floated one passed out teenager over the back of a large rubber duck.

Matt looked to the ceiling, observing the balls of toilet paper clinging to it.  To the tables, a person he didn’t know was lying in his own stomach bile while a topless girl held onto his leg.  Matt then noticed this guy’s pants were inexplicably soaked and that he didn’t know who the girl was either.  He looked to the floor, empty bottles of booze and soda, spilt everywhere.  Soggy party food floated in the piles of spilt beverages.  Where he lay was an unidentifiable white powder.

Out of the corner of Matt’s eye, Jimmy rounded the corner.  Jimmy’s pants were missing and he wore a pair of Matt’s underwear on his head and a sock on his right hand.  Jimmy observed the aftermath of last night’s party.

“Dude…  Man…  What happened…?” He asked.  Matt stood speechless “Where’s the rum?”

“It’s gone…  It’s all gone…  All…  Gone…?” Matt said nervously.  Jimmy walked over to him.  He observed the patio one last time.

“Well…  At least we had fun.” He said “At least your parents aren’t coming home for another couple weeks.”

“…  Yeah…  About that…” Matt replied.  Jimmy looked to Matt in shock.

“What do you mean…  About that?” He asked.

“I mean…” Matt said pointing behind Jimmy.  Jimmy turned to see Matt’s parents standing in the doorway to the patio dumbfounded.  Jimmy turned back to face Matt.

“Well…  Fuck.” Were the last words Jimmy spoke before Matt’s parents started yelling about the state of the entire house and the wasted booze, party food and baby powder…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“That must’ve been a really fun party!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“It was a fun party, well, at least from what I remember.” I replied “Hey, wait a minute…  How do you know what happened at that party?!”

“Umm…  Well…  It’s past your bedtime guys!  Go to bed!  You guys have to wake up to go to the Carousel Boutique tomorrow to meet with Rarity!” She said hurriedly shooing us to our room.

God, suddenly she’s our mother now?

Screw that!  How did she even know about that party?!

She’s Pinkie Pie.

So?!

Nigga.  She.  Is.  Pinkie.  Pie.

Wha- Jus- Why-  ARGH!!  FINE!!

As Pinkie shooed us into our room and practically slammed the door shut, Matt and I decided it was time to go with only a simple nod to each other.

“Well, glad we’re together man.” I said to Matt.

“Glad we are.” He replied as we hugged each other and said our good nights and drifted off to sleep.

Things actually seem okay.  They’ve been a lot better than they have in a long time.  Maybe, just maybe I’d finally be able to make a new life for myself…