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Author's Note:

The real-life Paul would like to inform everyone that you must read his lines in a British accent.  That is all.

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The next morning Paul got up still asleep as he headed downstairs for some breakfast.  As he passed Jimmy’s room, he decided to check if Jimmy was awake.

“Jimmeh…” Paul said groggily “Hey Jim…  Wake up…  It’s…  Afternoon…” Paul knocked on the door with a lazy, but hard hand.  The door opened and a barrage of shoes hit Paul not-so lightly on his head and body.  The door then slammed shut.

“Thank you, come again.” Paul said in an imperfect Indian accent as he started to stumble his way down the rest of the hallway to the stairs.

When he reached the kitchen and opened the fridge, he decided this morning’s breakfast would be some of the cake left over from the party last night.  As he munched on the generous slice of cake he had cut himself, his plan for today started to come back to him.  Today he was invited by Rarity to go to the spa with her.  He would have some quality time with his favourite pony.  As he finished his slice of cake, he put his dishes in the sink and went back upstairs to get his iPod and backpack with a towel and his swim trunks. After retrieving those items, he put on his jacket from next to the front door and headed outside.  Today was gonna be good already.  Cake for breakfast.  Sun was shining.  Hardly any clouds, that was probably because of Rainbow Dash.  In any case, everything was pointing towards being a good day.

Paul walked down the streets of Ponyville smiling and greeting the ponies he recognised from the show as he walked to Carousel Boutique with death metal blaring through his headphones.  He reached Carousel Boutique after a few minutes and knocked on the door.  He turned off his music and waited for Rarity to answer the door.  As he slipped his iPod back into his pocket, a small white unicorn with a light purple and pink mane and light green eyes answered the door.

“Hi, you must be Paul!” The young unicorn said “I’m Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s sister.  Come on in!” She continued as she opened the door more for Paul to come inside.

“Hello Sweetie Belle, nice to meet you.” Paul replied smiling as he entered the boutique.

“Rarity’s almost ready, she’ll be down in a minute.” Sweetie said as she sped off into the kitchen before Paul could ask her any questions.  He stood there for a moment remembering the episode where Sweetie ‘made’ breakfast and had a vision of him and Rarity coming back to the boutique to find it in flames.  He shrugged it off and walked around the boutique.

“Hmm…” Paul said as he looked around at the several dresses on display.  One dress caught Paul’s eye.  It was a purple and silver dress that was adorned with many amethyst stones and what seemed to be fur around the fringes.  He was about to feel the fringe to see if it was fur or fabric when he heard a voice greet him.

“Good afternoon Paul!” Rarity said as she came down the stairs “Sorry to keep you waiting, my dear.”

“It’s alright Rarity, are you ready to go?” Paul asked.  Rarity simply nodded and they headed out of the boutique.  Paul looked worriedly at the kitchen as they left hoping Sweetie didn’t burn down the place.  Out of the corner of his eye as he looked away he could’ve sworn he saw the filly look out to make sure they had left.  As they walked, Paul had an uneasy feeling that something bad would happen at the boutique.  He didn’t trust Sweetie very much.  But then again, why didn’t Rarity seem worried?  If she wasn’t worried, he shouldn’t be either.

“What’s the matter, Paul?” She asked.

“Oh, nothing.” He replied trying not to look worried about anything.

“So Paul, I’ve been meaning to ask you about the fashion you saw while you were in Canterlot.  What did you think of it?” She asked looking very curious about what he had to say.

“Well…  It was all very…  Formal.” He replied “You have to be a little more specific.  What do you want to know?”

“Everything.” She said.

“Oh boy.” Paul sighed “Where do you want me to start?”

“Well…  I suppose you could tell me which designer made your clothes!  Yes, that would be a good start.” Rarity replied.

“Err, well…  See, all the clothes I have right now are clothes I had on Earth.” Paul started “When I was transported here by…  Whatever I was transported here by, all my clothes were packed in my suitcase, so I didn’t need to have anypony make clothes for me.  Also, my clothes aren’t custom made, they’re just, uh, store-bought.  If you know what I mean.”

“Ah, I see.  Do you know that I made all the clothes in Matt and Jimmy’s wardrobe?” Rarity asked.

“Wait, seriously?  Wow, that’s awesome!” Paul exclaimed “I knew you made that one shirt that Jimmy wore when we performed in Canterlot, but…  Wow, that’s really cool.  You did a great job on their clothes, Rarity!”

“Thank you, my dear.” Rarity chuckled “That being said, if you ever need any clothes made, don’t hesitate to come ask me, alright?”

“Sure thing.” Paul replied.

“Tell me, Paul, did you meet any of the upper-crust ponies while you were in Canterlot?” Rarity asked looking as curious as ever.

“I did see a couple that Octavia pointed out to me…  Who were they…”

He then proceeded to tell Rarity all about the upper-crust ponies he had seen while in Canterlot.  She was quite intrigued that Paul had been given compliments by Fancy Pants who very much enjoyed Paul’s music.  She had many questions about the other upper crust ponies and fashion which lasted until they reached the spa which was a fifteen minute walk due to the slow pace at which they were walking.

“Well, looks like we’re here.” Paul said as they arrived at the spa “Right on time too.” Paul said looking at his watch.  It was 2 pm.

“Shall we?” Rarity said motioning her hoof to the door.

“Certainly.” Paul replied as he opened the door for Rarity and they walked inside.  The walls of the lobby were dark blue.  Many potted plants were placed throughout the lobby.  There was a small green couch by a purple table with some magazines on it.  Behind the desk sat a blue pony with a pink mane.

“The usual for me and my friend, please.” Rarity said to the receptionist.  A wide smile came across the receptionist’s face and she nodded.  Rarity motioned to Paul to follow her to the changing rooms.  Paul went into the men’s room and Rarity followed Paul into the sauna.  Rarity was now in a robe with her name on it and Paul in his swim trunks.  Paul thought now would be a good idea to change the subject from fashion and high-end ponies.  He wasn’t sure how much more he could talk about that field as he had exhausted what little knowledge he had of the fashion world and celebrity ponies in Equestria.

“So, Rarity,” He started “What kind of music do you like?”

“Well, I do like the type of music you play with Jimmy.” She replied “But I do like classical music and slower songs a lot.”

“Cool.” Paul said thinking about some music on his iPod that she might like.

“What kind of music do you like?” Rarity asked.

“Well, a better question for me would be what music I don’t like.”

“Okay, then, what music don’t you like?”

“I don’t like ‘music’ where the singer’s voice is changed using a computer to try and make them sound better.” Paul stated “Or ‘music’ that is supposedly ‘dance’ or ‘entertainment music’ that’s played over the radio all the time when it should really just be in clubs where it belongs.  I think that music should be artistic rather than just for ‘entertainment’ purposes.”

“I think I know what you mean.” Rarity replied “Electronic music isn’t very good most of the time in my opinion.”

“Well, I guess that’s your opinion.  But see, I’m not saying I don’t like electronic music, because I do.  What irritates me is when ‘music’ is made for the sake of entertainment rather than art.  That’s what I don’t like.”

“I see, well, I suppose I can agree with that.” Rarity said at last “Tell me, where did Fancy Pants see you perform?”

“It was at some really high-end restaurant in Canterlot, I can’t remember the name right now, I’ll have to ask Octavia...”

“Oh, that’s the other thing I wanted to know about.” Rarity started “How did you meet Octavia and Vinyl exactly?”

“Well…”

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Paul awoke suddenly to the sensation of water rushing rapidly over his face and upper body.  He sprung up and gasped for air looking around for what just did that to him.

“Lenny!!!” Paul yelled with his eyes still half-closed “Fuck you!!!  I told you not to do that again y-” He looked up at the grey unicorn and white pegasus standing over him.  “WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” Paul screamed as he tried to get up to run away.  Something grabbed his legs and Paul fell on his face.

“Hey!!  Lemme go!!  I’m not here to hurt anypony!!  I just woke up here!!  I don’t even know how I got here!!” Paul yelled in an attempt to get the guards to leave him alone.  The unicorn’s horn was glowing and so were Paul’s legs.

“Yeah?  Well you’re gonna remember how you left for sure.” The unicorn guard said levitating him into the air along with a suitcase, a cajon, a backpack and a drumstick case.  All of which Paul recognised as his own “Come on, let’s get this…  Thing…  Out of here.”

“Err, Sarge?” the pegasus started “Shouldn’t we at least show the Princess what we found?  I mean, look at it.  That’s not a creature I’ve ever seen bef-”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were the new chief of security.  Here I was thinking that I was the one who gave the orders, sorry, guess I better follow your orders, private.  No, you obey my orders!  And my order is to come with me to throw this trash out the front gate.”

“Yes sir!” The pegasus replied.  Following the unicorn out of the garden.

“Put me down!!  Help!!!!  Stranger danger!!!  STRANGER DANGER!!!!” Paul yelled as the unicorn levitated Paul above him.

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Octavia stormed out of the ballroom with her cello in its case on her back.  A colt called to her.

“OCTAVIA!!!  GET BACK HERE NOW!!!  IF YOU DON’T GET BACK HERE, DON’T BOTHER COMING TO REHEARSAL SUNDAY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!  YOU BUCKING FILLYFOOLER!!!  GET BACK HERE!!!” The colt yelled to her.  Octavia paid it no attention and walked on.

“I have HAD IT with that uptight, no-good, lying, son of a…” Octavia ranted to herself.  She stopped as she saw two guards walking along with what Octavia recognised as a human.

“LET ME GO GODDAMNIT!!!” The human yelled.  He was flailing his arms around and managed to hit a small rectangular case with his left arm.  A black and red drumstick dropped out of the case and hit the floor “HEY!!!  HEY!!!  CAN WE GO PICK UP MY DRUM STICK AT LEAST?!!?  I’M TALKING TO YOU DAMMIT!!!”

“Hey…  A human musician…” Octavia thought out loud.  Something clicked in Octavia’s mind.  Something told her this human might be useful, she wanted somepony to play music with.  This human just might be the one to do it with.

“YES.” She said as she galloped after the guards “Hey wait up!” Octavia shouted.  The guards turned around to see a grey earth pony wearing a pink bow tie with a large instrument case and black saddle bags strapped to her back.

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Paul stopped flailing around for a moment to see a grey earth pony trotting up to the guards.  He took a moment to recognise the pony, but when he did, all he could let out was a small yelp of brony excitement.

“Where are you taking him?” Octavia asked.

“He’s trespassing ma’am, don’t worry, we’re just taking him outside.” The unicorn replied.

“You’re not taking him anywhere because he’s not trespassing.  He’s my guest here.”

“Really?” Asked the unicorn.  He levitated Paul down to his eye level “Where’s your pass?”

“I have it.” Said Octavia.  She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a golden piece of paper “I forgot to give it back to him earlier.” The pegasus took it in his hoof and examined it, he nodded to his sergeant who then gently set down Paul and his belongings.

“Sorry about that ma’am, and sir.  Have a good night.” The sergeant unicorn said as he walked away with the pegasus private in tow.

“Are you alright?” Asked Octavia who extended her hoof to help Paul off his backside.

“My head’s buzzing and I’m soaked, but other than that I’m frickin’ dandy.” He said taking Octavia’s hoof and standing up.  As he stood up he hugged her.  “Thank you so much!  I don’t know what they were gonna do if they got me further away.”

“It’s no problem.  I’m Octavia.” She said extending her hoof again.

“I’m Paul, nice to meet you.” He replied taking her hoof, again.

“Where are you staying tonight, Paul?”

“I kinda just…  Got here…  And I don’t know how.  All I know is one minute I was in my flat in England, next thing I know, I’m in Canterlot sleeping in the Castle Garden.”

“England?”

“Oh right, you wouldn’t know about there because…  Yeah…  Say, did humans ever exist in this world?”

“Yeah, but, that was thousands of years ago, why?”

“Well, that makes sense.  Okay, I’m just trying to figure out if I’m in another world entirely or I’m in the future.  Wait a minute, what the hell am I talking about?  This is obviously a dream, I mean, ponies?  Really?  Nice try, subconscious!  I’m gonna wake up now and all this will be gone!  Watch this!” Paul stood with his eyes shut tightly in front of Octavia who was giving him the best ‘are you fucking kidding me’ look she could muster.

“So, how’s that waking up working out for you?” She asked.  He opened his eyes.

“Hmm…  So this isn’t a dream?” He asked.

“No, trust me, it isn’t.” She replied.

“Huh, well, back to your place then?  Or mine?”

“I suppose mine.  You know, since you don’t have a place.”

“Oh…  Right.”

Paul picked up his belongings and followed Octavia out of the castle through the surprisingly busy streets of Canterlot to Octavia’s apartment.

“Well, here we are.” Octavia said opening the door.  Paul walked inside.  The apartment reminded Paul of Monica’s apartment from the TV show Friends.  All of the décor and colour schemes were almost the same.

“BUCKING HA- Oh, hey Octavia.” A white unicorn said looking up from a magazine with a mare in lingerie on the cover with bold letters spelling ‘PC’.  She looked over more to see a human standing next to her “Woah, Octavia, listen, I told you to stop hanging out with that Doctor colt for a reason.  What’s with the human?”

“I wasn’t ‘hanging’ with anypony Vinyl.  I had just finished resigning my position in that stupid group of ‘musicians’ when I saw Paul here being dragged out of the castle.” Octavia replied.

“It’s true.” Paul said.  Suddenly, his eyes focused on a bowl of chocolates sitting on the dining table.  He darted to them immediately and started helping himself to them.

“Anyway, yes, I felt it necessary to help him as the guards clearly didn’t know what he was and were just going to throw him off the castle grounds.  I couldn’t allow that to happen, so…” Octavia finished as she looked at Paul chowing down on the bowl of chocolates.

“Huh, so that’s story.” Vinyl said standing up “Well, as far as I remember, humans have been extinct for what?  Two thousand years?” She walked over to Paul and snatched a chocolate out his hand “How’d you get here?” She said unwrapping the chocolate and eating it.

“I really don’t know…” Paul said taking another chocolate “All I know, is that I fell asleep in my apartment after an awesome dorm party.  Next thing I know, I’m in the Canterlot castle garden being dragged away by royal guards.”

“So, what do we do with him?” Vinyl asked Octavia “If I wake up tomorrow to royal guards at the door…”

“You won’t, Vinyl.  Don’t worry about it.  He’s no threat to anypony.  He’s completely harmless, look.” Octavia said pointing a hoof to Paul who had his face in the bowl of chocolates.

“Shaid whuh?” Said Paul with a faceful of chocolate.  Vinyl sighed.

“Alright, I guess he can stay with us until he finds a way back home or whatever.” Vinyl said “Anyway, I’m going ba-” She looked at the wooden box that sat by the door.  “What is that?” She asked.

“That’s a cajon.” Paul replied holding the now empty bowl of chocolates.

“A what-on?” Vinyl asked with a blank expression.  Paul got up from the table and sat on the cajon and started hitting it in a rhythmic pattern, creating a catchy beat and seemingly complicated fills for just two hands on a box.  As Paul finished his demonstration of what the cajon was for.  Vinyl clapped her hooves together.

“Very nice, very nice.  Say, do you play drums?” Vinyl asked.

“Yes, yes I do, why?” Paul replied.  A grin formed across Vinyl’s face and she looked to Octavia.

“Ahh, that’s why you rescued him from the guards.” She said grinning.

“That’s not the only reason!  He was in trouble and needed help!” Octavia said defending herself.

“I’m 18 and what is this?” Paul asked.

“Alright, see, Octavia’s wanted to form something of a band for a little while now.  Hence why she just quit her position in her orchestra.” Vinyl stated.

“Once again, Vinyl, that’s not the only reason.” Octavia interjected.

“And because her conductor was a total dick, but that’s not important.” Vinyl said so that Octavia wouldn’t interrupt again “So, I’m guessing once she saw something linking to you being able to play percussion of some kind, she decided to help you out.”

“Paul, please don’t be mad at me, tha-”

“It’s okay Octavia.” Paul interrupted “I’ve wanted to form a band too, actually.  Also, you were kind enough to bring me into your home, so I don’t really mind if I’m just being used as a living metronome.”

“That’s not what you are Paul, don’t worry.  I would’ve rescued you from those guards regardless of whether you played an instrument or not.  Either way, I’m sorry my motives for saving you come off as…  Shallow.  Do you accept my apology?”

“Yes, Octavia, I do.” Paul said giving Octavia a smile.

“Ooohhhhh-kaaaaaaaayy, so, I’m just gonna go to bed now because, yeah.  With your arrival, you’ve indirectly killed off role-play night.” Said Vinyl about to get up from her seat.

“I love role-playing games!” Paul exclaimed “What game were you gonna play?” Vinyl raised an eyebrow.

“Err…  Paul, I don’t think we’re on the same level here.  What I’m talking about is Octavia here getting into her sexy maid outfit or sexy school girl outfit so we ca-”

“AGH!! OKAY!! OKAY!! I GET IT!! IT’S ALRIGHT!! I DON’T NEED DETAILS!!”

“Aw, but the details are the best part!” Vinyl said moving one of her hooves down Octavia’s side which made Octavia jump a little and blush “This one time, she w-”

“I’M GOING TO BED NOW.  WHICH ROOM WON’T YOU BE HAVING SEX IN, PLEASE GUIDE ME TO IT NOW OCTAVIA.” Paul said a bit louder than he had intended.

“Paul, I don’t think you understand, Octy here likes it everywh-”

“I AM GOING TO THAT BEDROOM.” Paul said walking directly past Vinyl and going through a light blue door.

“Five…  Four…  Three…  Two…  One…” Vinyl counted.  Paul stormed out of the room as if he was on cue and shut the door.

“I AM GOING IN THE OTHER BEDROOM.” He stated walking across the living room to the next bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

“Vinyl, did you really have to take out all the toys and arrange them on the bed like that?” Octavia asked.

“Of course I did, you take waaaay too long to pick them anyway, so I figured I’d just put them all there, y’know?” Vinyl said “Anyway, my sexy little maid,” She said moving her hoof to Octavia’s behind “You know the drill.”

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“…  So yeah, that’s how I met Octavia and Vinyl.” Paul said concluding his story as he walked out of the spa with Rarity.

“That was an…  Interesting, story.” Rarity stated “Are they like that…  All the time?”

“Well, pretty much.  Vinyl really doesn’t mind talking about her sex life, or showing off evidence of it for that matter…”

“Interesting…”

The two walked and talked about how Paul had been settling into life in Ponyville so far and how business had been for Rarity.  They finished talking when they reached Carousel Boutique.

“Paul, you wouldn’t mind spending a little more time with me, would you?” Rarity asked.

“No, not at all, what do you have in mind?” Paul replied.

“Well it is about time for tea, so…  Tea?”

“Sounds good.” Paul replied smiling “Will there be chocolate?”

“I’m quite sure I have some, yes.” Rarity replied with a chuckle as she opened the door.  The two walked inside “Hmm… Odd… Why would Sweetie have all the lights of-”

“SURPRISE!!!!” Shouted several ponies as the lights turned back on.  Pinkie, Fluttershy, Twilight, Spike and Sweetie Belle all stood behind a table.  The boutique was covered in party decorations.  In front of them was a table with food and drink and a cake that said “Happy birthday Rarity!” on it.  On another nearby table was a chocolate fountain and a large bowl containing strawberries and other sliced-up fruit.

“Surprise!!” Shouted a grey, wall-eyed pegasus who popped out behind the group a bit later than the rest.

“Wh-wh-wh-huh?” Said Rarity who was still in shock.

“Happy burf-day Rarity!” Said the grey pegasus who flew over and hugged Rarity, almost tackling her to the ground.  Paul was also in shock still from the surprise and from the grey pegasus who was next to him.  It was Derpy.

“Isn’t this great Rarity?” Pinkie asked “Look!  You’ve got cake, cupcakes, muffins, your three favourite Pinkie punches, and look!  Even a chocolate fountain!” Rarity was still speechless and Paul seemed to have been frozen in place.  He hadn’t moved a muscle since the ponies jumped out and yelled ‘surprise’.

“Woohoo!  Party time!” Said Derpy who flew over to a record player, knocking the chocolate fountain off the table it sat on and into the air landing on a purple and silver dress “Oops, my bad…” Derpy said after turning on the music.

“Buh-buh-dr-hu-sh-dh-df-ah-ohhhhh…” Rarity said as she looked at the now chocolate covered dress.  Suddenly Rarity fell to the ground, out cold.  Paul snapped out of his frozen condition and looked to the dress.

“Ooh…  Chocolate…” Paul said dipping his fingers into the chocolate and licking his fingers.  He looked back to the ponies standing behind the table who were in complete shock at what just happened.

“What?  You guys want some?” He asked.  He then looked at what exactly was covered in chocolate and noticed it was a dress.  “Oh…  Oh…  Crap.” This was not good.  Rarity’s dress was ruined.  They couldn’t just leave it as it was.  It was beyond washing at this point.  A plan formulated in Paul’s head as the other ponies and dragon snapped out of their frozen state.  Spike ran over to the unconscious Rarity and tried to wake her.

“Leave her lie!” Paul said to Spike sharply.

“But…  But what if she’s hurt?!” Spike asked.

“She’s not hurt, she’s just fainted from stress.” Paul said walking to the center of the room “Now everypony, I have a plan.  We’re gonna fix this dress for Rarity.”

“How are we gonna do that?  I mean...  We’re not fashion designers…” Twilight started “We can’t make her a new dress!  That dress occupied Rarity this whole week!”

“Well, that’s the only option we have.” Paul replied “Unless you really think we can wash this dress and pretend nothing happened.” He said pointing to the chocolate dress that Pinkie was licking.  Paul turned to look at Pinkie and then tried to look away but found himself turning to look at her again “Pinkie, now is not the time for that.”

“Awww, come on…” She said walking away from the dress with her face covered in chocolate.

“Anyway.  Back to the problem at hand.” Paul said attempting to take some kind of leadership, he turned to Spike “Spike, as far as I’m concerned, you’re good at finding gems, yes?”

“Yeah, but, not nearly as good as Rarity.” Spike replied “She has a spell which she uses to find them...”

“Twilight, do you know the spell?” Paul interrupted as he turned to Twilight.

“Well, yes, I do know it, but…”

“Excellent.  Twilight, Spike, I need you two to go gem hunting for a while.  We are looking for amethysts and diamonds, bring back all the gems you can of course, but those are the ones we specifically need.” Twilight and Spike nodded accepting their orders.

“Fluttershy.” Paul said a bit too sharply, making her jump a little bit “You’re good at stitching and have almost as much knowledge of it as Rarity, yes?”

“Well, umm, yes, but I’m sure Rarity is far better th-”

“Fluttershy, Rarity can’t help us right now.  We need you to help us make this dress.  Please Fluttershy?”

“I’ll…  Okay.” She said softly.

“Anything I can do to halp?” Derpy asked waving a hoof in the air.

“Derpy, your job is one of the most important jobs out of all of these.” Paul stated giving Derpy a smile “Once we take Rarity upstairs, I need you and Sweetie Belle to make sure she stays in that room until we’ve completed the new dress.  Okay?”

“Yes sir!” Derpy said loudly raising her hoof to salute Paul, hitting the table in the process.

“Now, that’s every-” Paul was interrupted by Pinkie loudly clearing her throat.

“Not everypony.” Pinkie said sounding quite disappointed.

“Everypony except Pinkie.” Paul finished his interrupted sentence “You are gonna stay here with me.  We have to dispose of the, err, evidence.” He said pointing to the chocolate dress that Derpy was now eating.  Paul didn’t bother telling Derpy to stop, he didn’t have the heart to upset her.

“Also Pinkie, you’re going to help me look for the concept art for this particular dress once we’ve finished cleaning up.” Paul stated.

“Woohoo!  Operation Fix-Rarity’s-Dress-And-Make-It-Look-Like-Nothing-Happened is ready to go!” Pinkie shouted.

“Pinkie, I’d refrain from shouting right now.  You know, make sure Rarity stays unconscious?  Would be a good thing.”

“Whoops, sorry!” Pinkie said softly.

“Alright everypony, let’s get moving!  We’ve only got a little while before she wakes up!” Paul said.  Twilight and Spike left Carousel Boutique to go find gems for the dress.  Fluttershy went to Rarity’s ‘inspiration’ room to gather cloth and other things they would need for the dress and to look for the dress design.  Pinkie decided to handle evidence disposal by herself.  Paul picked up Rarity with little difficulty and took her upstairs to her bedroom and lay her down on her bed.  Derpy and Sweetie Belle followed.

“Okay guys, if she wakes up and I haven’t come up here to tell you the dress is finished, you have to keep her occupied.  I don’t know how, but either keep her unconscious or occupied.  I honestly don’t mind which as long as she doesn’t come downstairs before the dress is finished.  Alright?”

“You can count on me!” Derpy said a bit too loudly for Paul’s liking.  Derpy then sat on the floor at the foot of Rarity’s bed silently watching Rarity closely with her good eye.

“Umm, Paul, can I ask a question?” Sweetie asked.

“Sure you can.  You just did.” Paul said with a smile, Sweetie simply ignored Paul’s comment and motioned him to come closer.

“Why do I have to stay here with her?” She whispered pointing to the grey mare seated at the foot of Rarity’s bed.

“Because, I doubt Rarity will listen to Derpy on her own.  You’re her sister, she’s far more likely to listen to you.” Paul started “Also, Derpy can’t mess this job up.  I don’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her not to do anything, so, I gave her a job that requires her to do nothing, get it?  Anyway, just stay here with Derpy for a while.  Hopefully the dress will be finished soon and everything can be back to normal, okay?”

“Okay…” Sweetie sighed.  Paul left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.  Paul walked downstairs to find Fluttershy with several rolls of fabric, pins, needles and anything else she would need to make this dress.

“Excellent, you’ve got all the mateirials.  You found the design too?” Paul asked.

“Oh yes, it was right on top of all this stuff.” Fluttershy replied.

“Wait really?  It was all conveniently in one pile?” Paul asked looking quite surprised at how convenient that was.  He half expected them to spend at the very least a half hour looking for the design.

“Yes, to be honest, I was a little surprised too.”

“Well, that’s good.  Anyway, where’s Pinkie Pie?”

“Right here!” Pinkie said appearing in front of Paul and Fluttershy “Chocolate disposal has been taken care of!” She said with a salute.

“Good, good.” Paul asked.  Then a thought crossed his mind.  This was Rarity’s birthday party.  Surely there had to be more guests.  Where were they?  A knock on the door.  Paul answered it.  Standing in the doorway was Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Jimmy in the center of them wearing a purple hat with a golden feather on it, a purple striped suit and white leather shoes.  He had one arm around Applejack and one around Rainbow Dash and in one hand he held a long wooden cane that had a golden, circular handle at the top.

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“Please make way for The Great Pimp-King Swagrid’s entrance, if you would peasant.” I stated as Paul looked at me completely speechless in my presence.  He stepped out of the way slowly to allow the three of us in.

“Oooh!  Your outfit is totally awesome Jimmy!” Pinkie said bouncing over to me.

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid believes that you did not hear his name the first time he said it.  The Great Pimp-King Swagrid proclaims that his name is The Great Pimp-King Swagrid.” I replied.

“Oh, we’re role-playing!  Okay Swagrid, your outfit is great!”

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid proclaims that you must say The Great Pimp-King Swagrid’s full name when you address him.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey The Great Pimp-King Swagrid’s full name!” Pinkie giggled as she bounded over to Fluttershy who didn’t look the slightest bit surprised at all.

“Alright sugarcube, joke’s up.” Applejack said moving away from me.  Rainbow followed suit leaving me a hoe-less pimp “Say, where is everypony?”

“A better question would be where Rarity is.” Said Rainbow Dash.

“Rarity is unconscious.  She fainted from stress.” Paul stated “Derpy, knocked a chocolate fountain onto one of her dresses and Rarity fainted.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Dashie stopped Paul “Derpy is here?  Why?”

“I told her about the party!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“Ugh…  Alright, well, where is she now?”

“She’s upst-”

“Reporting for dooty!” Derpy said loudly flying down the stairs, somehow, she tripped on one of the steps and fell onto the floor.

“Oh my goodness, are you okay?” Fluttershy asked flying over to Derpy.

“I’m okay!  I’m okay!” Said Derpy as she sprung to her hooves “Sweetie said she heard you calling for me.”

“I…” Paul held back what he was about to say. Goddamnit Sweetie, couldn’t you have just kept her with you? He thought to himself.

“Yes, yes I did.  I figured that Sweetie could manage Rarity on her own, so you can stay down here with us, is that okay?” Paul said with his left eye twitching.

“Okay!” Derpy replied happily trotting over to the food table for some muffins.

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid asks why you couldn’t just wash the dress.” I stated, still fully in character.

“Trust me, there was no way in hell that was fixable.” Paul replied.  There was a knock on the door.  Paul opened the door again to find Matt with Octavia and Vinyl.

“Tally ho there, chap!” Said Matt “We’re from Celestia’s witness, do you have our lord and saviour jeebus in your life?”

“No, but get inside already you twat.” Paul said motioning for them to come in “God, Pinkie organises a surprise party and half of you show up late.”

“Actually, you and Rarity were just early.” Pinkie said eating a whole cupcake in one bite.  Another thing was added to Paul’s list of things to be stressed about.

“So…  Where’s the birthday mare?” Vinyl asked.

“Unconscious due to stress because Derpy accidentally a dress.  Now we're making a new dress to fix this big mess.” I said, coming out of character for a brief moment.

“Alright, Zecora.” Chuckled Matt.

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid asks who the hay this Zecora is that you speak of.”

“Never mind, you’ll meet her sometime soon.” Paul interjected sharply “Anyway!  Where the hell is Twilight?  I just want this dress to be finished already so we can carry on normally and we can stop being so STRESSED ABOUT EVERYTHING!” Everyone and pony gave Paul a bit of a confused look.  He was the only one stressed about the whole situation.

“Take a frickin’ chill pill man.” Vinyl said putting a hoof on Paul’s shoulder “They’ll be back any moment now from…  Whatever they’re doing…  Wait, what are they doing?  No cheesy rhymes this time, okay The Great Pimp-King Swagrid?”

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid proclaims he won’t rhyme the situation to anypony.” I stated with a hint of sadness at not being allowed to rhyme anymore.

“They’re off getting some gems, for this dress’s hems…” Matt said stifling laughter.  Vinyl shot him an ‘I’m going to brutally murder you with your own genitalia’ look to which Matt responded by hiding behind a very confused Derpy who was still eating muffins at the food table.  Another knock on the door.  Paul stormed over to the door.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU B-” Paul looked to see a pony standing at the door who was neither Twilight or the new Rainbow Dash, but a mailcolt.

“Umm, good evening, I have this telegram for a, err, Miss Rarity?  Is sh-” Paul snatched the telegram from the mailcolt and slammed the door.

“I’ll just put this over here and we’ll forget about it.” He said resting the letter on a table near the door.  “Now, if I may ask politely:  WHERE THE FUCK ARE TWILIGHT AND SPIKE!?!?!?” Another knock at the door.  Paul threw the door open.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE Y-” He stopped himself again as he saw Twilight and Spike standing in the doorway with a wagon filled with amethysts and diamonds.  A book levitated in the air by Twilight’s side.

“Umm…  We…  Got the gems?” Twilight said nervously.

“GOOD!” Paul yelled getting behind the confused gem-hunting pair and pushing them inside “FLUTTERSHY.  NOW.  DRESS.  DO IT.”

“Umm…  Paul?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“WHAT?  WHAT IS IT NOW?  EVERYTHING IS SET WE JUST NEED TO DO IT.  SO DO IT.” Paul half-but-not-so-half-more-like-three-quarters yelled.

“Umm…  This stitching pattern…” Paul bent over and looked Fluttershy in the eyes.

“WHAT.  IS.  THE.  PROBLEM?” Paul said with a crazed look in his eyes.

“Umm…  I…” Fluttershy let out a small yelp and also hid behind Derpy who was even more confused than before.

“Err…  Muffin?” She asked offering Fluttershy one.  Paul seemed to have a mini seizure before regaining his normal composure and stood quietly for a moment.

“Fluttershy…  Why can’t you make the dress?  Hmm?” He asked with the same crazed look creeping back onto his face as he turned to face Fluttershy.

“Umm…  Well…  The stitching…  It’s too complicated to do with hooves…  It would have to be done with magic…  I’m sorry…” Fluttershy said sheepishly.

“Great.  JUST great.” Paul said, he turned to Twilight “TWILIGHT.  YOU’RE ON DRESS DETAIL NOW.”

“Erm…  Paul…  I don’t know anything about st-” Twilight was interrupted by an angry Paul standing hardly two inches away from her face.  “But…  In this book there is a spell that lets me clone objects as long as you have all the materials used in the original object.  So, we could us-”

“EXCELLENT.” Paul said pushing Twilight over to the table with the dress and the materials for the new dress “PINKIE.  THE ORIGINAL DRESS.  WHERE IS IT?”

“It’s right there.” Twilight said pointing a hoof to the dress that was sitting on the table with the supplies.

“Oh…  Well…  GET ON WITH IT.”

“The spell takes a little while to charge up.”

“Oh for th- How long?”

“Ten or fifteen minutes.”

“Ten or--??!!?!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!” Paul yelled “WE DON’T HAVE THAT LONG!!  SHE COULD WAKE UP AT ANY MOMENT!!!  WE NEED THIS DRESS D-” Paul was cut short by a metal clang.  Paul fell to the ground to reveal a white unicorn with a blue mane standing behind him levitating a frying pan in a blue aura.

“Twilight, take all the time you need.” Vinyl said “I thought he’d never shut up, even if I knocked him out.  The results were satisfactory though, weren’t they?” Vinyl levitated the frying pan back into the kitchen.

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid asks what you plan to do with our newest addition to our list of unconscious attendees.” I asked.

“I think we can just leave him there.  He’s not doing harm to anyone just lying there.” Vinyl looked to Twilight who was still looking at the unconscious Paul on the floor “You gonna start that spell any time soon?”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Twilight said opening the book to the right page.  She skimmed through the instructions and her horn started to glow.  After about ten minutes of everypony else idling around waiting for the spell to finish, Twilight released a small beam of magic that enveloped the old dress and then took the materials nearby and made the new one.  Twilight wobbled a little bit after the spell was complete, but Spike was able to keep her from falling over.  Twilight levitated the new dress onto a pony-quin and everyone sighed in relief.

“The Great Pimp-King Swagrid proclaims that we should wake up our unconscious attendees now.” I stated.  Everyone nodded in agreement.  Vinyl woke Paul by prodding him in the side with her hoof a little bit.

“Wha…  Where…” Paul said waking up, he looked around the room and his eyes fell on the new dress that was on the pony-quin “You did it?” Paul asked semi-rhetorically.

“Yep!  After Vinyl knocked you on the head, Twilight was able to concentrate on her spell and she used her magic to make the new one!” Pinkie chirped.

“Ohh…  Yeah, sorry about that everypony…  I was just so scared she would wake up at any moment and find the dress still ruined.” Paul said standing up.  Everypony forgave him at once in an almost inaudible fashion.

“I’ll go wake up Rarity now, I guess.” Paul said walking towards the stairs.  But just as Paul got to bottom of the stairs there was a loud scream that sounded like the scream of a mare who just had a terrible vision of a dress she was working on meeting a chocolate-covered demise.

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“MY DRESS!!  DERPY!!  AAAAAGHH!!!” Rarity screamed as she woke up scaring Sweetie out of her nap as well.

“Rarity!  Calm down!” Sweetie yelled jumping in front of Rarity who was trying to make a beeline for the door “Just stay in bed, you just umm…  Had a bad dream!  That’s all!  Just go back to sleep a-”

“SWEETIE!!  MOVE!!  I NEED TO GET DOWNSTAIRS NOW!!” Rarity yelled trying to get past the filly.

“But you can’t go!!”

“SWEETIE BELLE, I AM YOUR OLDER SISTER AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY NOW MOVE FROM IN FRONT OF THE DOOR!!”

“Bu-” Sweetie stopped.  She hoped to Celestia that everything would be okay if she let her downstairs.  Surely they must be done by now, it’s been at least a couple hours.  Sweetie lowered her head and moved out of Rarity’s way.  Rarity sped past her sister, out the door and down the stairs.

“Sorry guys…” Sweetie said to herself trailing after Rarity slowly.

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“WHERE IS IT?  WHERE IS MY DRESS?!?!” Rarity yelled as she flew past Paul onto the main floor.  The new dress was on display on a pony-quin and the old dress and some fabric and gems were resting on a table “Wha-Wha-Huh?  But…  How?”

“We made you a new dress!” Derpy said cheerfully “Everypony halped make it, even I got to halp!” She said smiling.

“But…  Bu-”

“Yes, everypony helped in their own little way.” Twilight stated “Fluttershy got the fabric and sewing equipment, Spike and I retrieved more gems for the dress, Derpy and Sweetie made sure you stayed asleep.  It was all Paul’s idea, actually.” She said smiling.  Rarity turned to Paul.

“You…  Pulled everypony together?” She asked.

“Yeah, sure did.” Paul said with a smile.  Rarity jumped up and hugged Paul for a moment.  Spike gestured to Paul that Spike was watching him.

“Thank you so much everypony!  This means so much to me!” Rarity said happily.  A chorus of “you’re welcome’s” followed Rarity’s statement.

“And now that that’s out of the way…” Pinkie started.

“PARTY TIME!!” Shouted Paul.  Everypony cheered and the party finally got started.  While it wasn’t much of a surprise party anymore, it was still one hell of a party.  Everypony left at a very late hour.  Derpy had left much earlier to get her daughter to bed.  All in all, it was a full day for everypony.  As we arrived home, I realised I hadn’t seen Matt today until the party.

“Hey Matt?” I asked.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“So, what’d you do today?”

“Well…”