Chapter XXII
The Prince and the Workhorse
Part XXII
Big Macintosh romped through a garden of earthly delights, a perfumed glade wreathed in mist and mystery. He couldn’t remember how he got there… or even anything, but the garden was so lush and beautiful he didn’t care.
A cloud of lilac butterflies fluttered down from the trees and kissed him all over with their tiny, fluttering wings. They kissed his face, his neck, his belly and lower regions, tickling him all over until he was flushed with heat and energy. He rolled in the fragrant grass and lapped sticky sweet dew from a large Arum lily until it quivered with strange spasms and the wind rustled through the trees with a husky moan. He noticed a pool of crystal water on the edge of the glade and leaped in without a second thought. The water was warm and cool at the same time. It buoyed him and caressed his body like a lover…
“I thought I heard somepony over here…”
Big Mac looked around, but there was nopony, just the shifting mist. Who said that? The voice was familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.
“I think it’s this clearing…” a different voice. Closer. Male.
Two ponies emerged from the mist at the end of the clearing. One was pink, the other, white. Who were they again?
***
Its purpose fulfilled, Cadence retrieved her spell. An invisible worm of many whipping tendrils and barbs wriggled out of Big Mac’s ear. She dissolved it back into the ether.
***
Big Mac’s awareness returned with the speed and ease of flicking a switch. The fantasy garden vanished. Princess Cadence and Shining Armor watched him from the edge of the clearing. The pond was gone, he was on dry land, but he still felt strangely warm. He looked down.
“Don’t stop,” Eulalie smiled up at him “I don’t care if they watch.”
She lay on her back, her muzzle pressed to his, his rigid passion sandwiched between their warm bellies. Throbbing, uncomfortable, faintly painful.
“W-what’s going on?” he asked, too stunned and disoriented to move. Nopony acknowledged him.
“Shining Armor, did you find him?”
Twilight’s voice!
“You don’t need to see this, Twilight,” Shining Armor turned to block her view of the torrid tableau. She pushed past him into the clearing.
Twilight froze.
“Blueblood?”
Her mouth gaped, she searched the scene, eyes darting, desperate for any sign, any hint that this was some kind of mistake, that this wasn’t what it looked like.
“Blueblood, what’re you doing?” she asked, her breath short.
Big Macintosh couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was going on. Something about a garden and... butterflies… and… and… It was all so fuzzy. He last thing he remembered for sure was this mare… who’d somehow ended up beneath him.
“I’m…” he fumbled for words.
“I told you, Twilight, you shouldn’t look,” Shining Armor put his hoof on her shoulder.
“No!” she knocked his hoof away “I needed to see this, because otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it!”
“Twilight!” Big Mac finally regained enough of his wherewithal to untangle himself from Eulalie, who squeaked and grumbled.
If anything, extricating himself made things worse, as now there was nothing between the audience and his obvious arousal. Cadance averted her eyes and covered her face with her wing. Shining Armor looked away as well. Twilight didn’t break eye contact for a second.
“Don’t talk to me like we’re friends!” she barked “You’re disgusting!”
“This isn’t…”
“What it looks like?” she laughed “Really? Because it looks like you with your… your… phallus pressed up against some whore!”
“Hey!” Eulalie objected.
Bad move. As easily as thinking, Twilight slapped her with a Silence spell. Eulalie’s lips snapped together as if held by a zipper. She kicked at her mouth with her hooves, but couldn’t separate them. She screamed uselessly against her sealed lips and whimpered through her nose. Her eyes welled up with tears.
“I didn’t know…”
“Didn’t know what?” Twilight advanced on him “Didn’t know I’d find out you’d been playing me for weeks while you were fooling around behind my back?”
“No-”
“I guess I deserve it, though. I should’ve listened to my head instead of my heart. You never cared for me, you were just after… this!” she wiggled her flank.
“That’s not true! Twilight, I-I love you!” Big Mac Blurted. He couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Twilight’s heart skipped a beat. Her face softened for the briefest second before twisting again. Her rage redoubled.
“No!” She shouted at him “No! You do not get to say that! Not after I’ve caught you with another mare! You don’t get to say it ever!”
She was panting now. Her horn sparked and crackled with pent-up energy.
“Twi-”
“No!” she screamed.
Purple light exploded from her horn. Luckily for Big Macintosh, Shining Armor’s wits were sharp and his reflexes were fast. He threw up a magical barrier just in time to catch Twilight’s spell. The deadly bolt ricocheted off the force field and up into the sky where it exploded with a deafening thunderclap.
Twilight collapsed to her knees, blubbering like a foal. Princess Cadence sidled up and extended a wing to comfort her. Twilight only whimpered and pushed it away.
“It’s better you find out now, rather than-” started Shining Armor.
“Shut up! I don’t need to hear it!” Twilight sobbed. She staggered to her feet and galloped off into the woods. Shining Armor took off after her.
Eulalie was in the early stages of a panic attack, her nostrils flared and her eyes rolled in her head. She attacked Twilight’s spell with her own magic, but she wasn’t powerful enough or clever enough to free herself. She cried more and louder until she collapsed from hyperventilation.
Cadence rolled her eyes and severed Twilight’s spell with a snort of disgust. Eulalie’s mouth popped open and she gasped for air like a drowning sailor, choking it down in huge, desperate gulps.
“Princess, what’s going on here?” Big Mac demanded.
“You’ve done a terrible thing, cousin Blueblood,” Cadence shook her head “If I were in your position, I’d pack up and return to Canterlot while I still had a shred of dignity.”
“But, what did I do?” asked Big Mac.
Cadence took off into the air without answering.
Eulalie started to cry again and Big Macintosh walked over to comfort her.
“What just happened?” he asked.
“I don’t know! That purple one almost killed me! Did you see? I could have…” she choked back another sob.
Big Macintosh was wary of her, but from the looks of things she was just as lost as he was in all this, and he could sympathize with her distress. He patted her back with his hoof.
“Oh, Blueblood,” she whimpered “you’re such a gentlecolt.”
Then she kissed him.
***
Prince Blueblood saw the explosion of Twilight’s spell, and found his way to the clearing at the exact wrong moment.
Eulalie was there. So was Big Macintosh.
They were kissing.
“Eulalie!” he exclaimed.
Eulalie unlatched from Big Macintosh’s face. Big Mac took a few startled steps backward, tripping over his own hind hooves and landing his butt on the grass. Blueblood stomped into the clearing.
“Big Macintosh!” she squeaked.
“Yes… him,” said Blueblood “Now I see why you were so hard to find.”
Eulalie couldn’t meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
“Me, too,” growled Blueblood “So, what then? Which one of us are you doing on the side? Him or me?”
“…him…”
“Why?”
“I’m not going to do this right now,” she shivered and turned to leave.
“No! No! You are going to do this right now!” he marched up and overtook her before she could walk away. He blocked her path like a brick wall. She tried to move around him and he moved to match her.
“Big Macintosh, I can’t believe you’re acting like this!” she huffed.
“Like what?” he glared down at her.
“Like those stupid jealous fillies that think a friendly roll in the hay is a damned marriage proposal! I thought you were bigger than that!”
“I am bigger… I mean… but I’m not…” he stuttered.
“I thought you were, but you’re just the same as them. You think I don’t know the signs? All the little gifts? The romantic gestures? Did you think we were a couple?”
“I…”
“I was having fun, you were having fun, what’s wrong with that? Why does it have to be some huge thing? Why does everything have to ‘go somewhere?’ Can’t we just screw each others’ brains out and go back to living our lives like mature adults?”
Blueblood felt weak in the knees. How could she say that? Didn’t their time together mean anything to her? Weren’t they building something together? How could one pony just sleep with another pony and not develop an emotional attachment?
Eulalie.
Marmalade.
Banana Split.
Amber Sands.
Thunder Canyon.
Cherri Cobbler.
Trixie Lulamoon.
Rainy Daze.
Irons Hott.
Silver Showers.
One hundred and something-ty names suddenly flashed through his head and, for the briefest second, he remembered them all. The sounds of their voices, the smell of their coats, the tensing and rippling of their muscles in the heat of passion all flooded his memories and they stopped being just names. They were stories.
He met Amber Sands at the opera. She was the coat-check girl, breathless and ecstatic to be noticed by a handsome Prince, overcome by fairy tale fantasies. She thought it was her dreams come true.
Trixie was doing street magic on Broadway and wowing a crowd with her “Brain Freak” act. He tipped her a hundred Bit piece. He promised to make her a star again. He has Tombs burn her letters with the rest.
Lieutenant Irons was chief of his personal guard. She’s a civilian now, a single mother living with her parents in Fillydelphia.
One hundred and something-ty mornings after flashed by. Some took their Walk of Shame with dignity and poise, others… less so, but it was always a Walk of Shame.
Did it hurt them to sleep with somepony that didn’t love them?
Ridiculous. Ponies do it all the time. Everywhere, all over the world.
That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
Celestia, how it hurt!
He looked back down at Eulalie. She regarded him coolly.
“I thought we had something special,” he said, pleading.
She shook her head.
“You sound like a mare,” she scoffed “You should really be more like Prince Blueblood. He’s a real stallion.”
Blueblood’s head whipped around.
Big Mac sat dumbly on his haunches, watching the discussion with a stupid blank look on his face.
“A ‘real stallion,’ huh?” he turned on Big Mac “A ‘real stallion’ huh!?”
Big Mac stood up now. He smelled trouble.
“I’ll show you a ‘real stallion!’” said Blueblood.
“Now, Blueblood, calm down…” Big Mac took a step back.
Blueblood smacked him across the jaw with the back of his hoof.
The blow sent Big Macintosh reeling and he staggered to one side, shaking stars out of his vision.
Blueblood charged.
***
“Ah think it came from over here,” said Applejack. She lead the group, comprised of herself, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Tombs toward the clearing. They’d converged on this part of the forest, drawn by Twilight’s explosion in the sky, just like Prince Blueblood.
Eulalie burst out of the bushes, galloping hard in the opposite direction.
“Hey, wait just a cotton’ pickin’ minute here!” Applejack called after her. She didn’t stop or slow down.
“What’s up with her?” asked Rainbow Dash.
The others shrugged and pressed on to the lighted clearing ahead.
“Oh my… it sounds like somepony’s in trouble,” remarked Fluttershy, shivering a little in her tracks. There were the telltale sounds of a struggle up ahead.
“Naw, I bet it’s just two ponies enjoying the romp,” suggested Rainbow Dash “Two stallions, by the sound of things. Gross.”
Everypony looked up at her.
“What?” shrugged Rainbow “It is gross.”
A cry of pain echoed through the woods. Applejack perked up her ears.
“That sounded like Big Macintosh!”
“With another stallion?” Fluttershy’s ears perked up this time.
Applejack charged into the clearing, the others followed.
“Big Mac!” cried Applejack.
“Sire!” cried Tombs.
Big Macintosh and Blueblood wrestled in the center of the clearing. They reared up on their hind hooves and kicked at each others’ faces. Big Macintosh jabbed Blueblood in the side with his horn. Blueblood yelped and bit him on the ear.
In one form or another, the Prince was in danger. Tombs had to do something.
“Sire, stop this at once!” Tombs charged at the pair, determined to stop the fight.
“No, Tombs!” Rainbow Dash blocked him.
“Not now, miss Dash!”
“I won’t let you get hurt again!” she launched herself into the fray, wedging herself between two tons of angry, thrashing stallion.
It worked at first… until Blueblood tried to swing around her at Big Macintosh. Rainbow squirmed at the wrong moment and his hoof, big and heavy as a boulder, connected with the side of her face.
She hit the ground like a sack of Skittles.
“Rainbow!” Applejack was at her side in the blink of an eye.
“Rainbow Dash, speak to me!”
“Did anypony get the lischense number of that avalanche?” she slurred through a seeping mouthful of blood and rapidly puffing lips. Her left eye was already starting to swell shut.
“Rainbow? Rainbow!” Applejack shook her, tender, but firm.
Rainbow Dash was already unconscious.
Applejack turned to the battling stallions, a blur of hooves and teeth and whinnying. Flying manes and flicking tails. A two-ton tornado of muscle and bone and sinew. She spit on the ground and marched in.
WHAM!
KABLAM!
Applejack gave them both good applebuckin’ kicks, sending them to opposite ends of the clearing. Big Macintosh hit the ground and rolled for another three feet. Blueblood smashed into a tree, knocking it askew.
Blueblood blinked his eyes open. Applejack towered over him.
“Go with Tombs and get yerself cleaned up, Big Brother” she commanded.
“You, too, yer majesty,” she barked over her shoulder “Fluttershy, help me get Rainbow Dash to the hospital.”
Blueblood raised himself up on shaky legs and did as he was told. Tombs helped Big Mac to his feet, letting him lean on his shoulder for support.
Fluttershy helped hold Rainbow Dash steady on Applejack’s back and they made their way to the hospital.
***
Big Mac and Blueblood returned to Sweet Apple Acres in silence. They bathed separately. Blueblood in a tub in the kitchen, big Macintosh next to the pump out back. Tombs pulled double duty to wash and bandage both of them.
“Tombs, I don’t want you to assist Mister Macintosh any further,” said Blueblood when Tombs came around with bath beads and salt from the prince’s luggage “You work for me, he can look after himself. That much is obvious.”
“I hesitate to remind sire that Mister Macintosh is still occupying your body. My duties do include tending to your personal appearance.”
“Those duties won’t be in conflict much longer, Mister Macintosh and I will be switching back. When we’re done here, fetch that Zebra voodoo creature and have her perform her medicine dance or whatever to get these blasted horseshoes off and me in my proper body.”
Tombs didn’t respond.
“Did you hear me, Tombs?”
Tombs weighed his words carefully.
“Sire, I regret to inform you that I’ve already taken the liberty of consulting with Miss Zecora.”
“And?”
“To the best extent of Miss Zecora’s knowledge, the spell is irreversible.”
Blueblood sat in silence, stewing in his bubbles.
“When did you find this out?” he asked, at length.
“Some time ago sir, roughly around the time of my hospitalization.”
A longer pause this time.
“You’ve known about this for weeks and you didn’t bother to tell me?”
“Yes, Sire,” Tombs bowed low “A regrettable oversight on my part. I’ve been remiss in my duties. I understand if-”
Blueblood clipped him on the ear with his forehoof. The blow stung Tombs’s ear almost as bad as his pride.
“Very good, sir.”
Tombs shook just the right measure of salts and beads into the bathwater, laid out the prince’s towels on the stool next to the tub, and walked out to help Big Macintosh.
He didn’t come back.
Blueblood stewed and stewed.
***
Fluttershy had gone home. Applejack stayed with Rainbow Dash at the hospital. She wouldn’t have to stay overnight, but they were going to be a while.
She was lucky, the doctor told them. Only bruising. No lacerations on her face. Very minor head trauma. She’d have a headache and the swelling would last at least a week, but she got off light considering how most things that tangled with Big Mac and lost were usually discovered later, spread out over a large area.
“Thanks for staying with me, Applejack,” grunted Rainbow Dash “It means a lot to me.”
“’Tweren’t nuthin’ Rainbow,” smiled Applejack. She’d grabbed a Daring Do book from the hospital book cart and set it at Rainbow’s bedside.
Rainbow Dash looked up at the ceiling.
“Tartarus, what a day it’s been.”
“Amen to that.”
“You know what hurts worse than getting punched in the face?”
“What’s that, pardner?”
“Finding out the pony you’re into doesn’t like you back.”
Applejack kept her mouth shut.
“I mean, I figured getting closure with Fluttershy after all these years would make me feel better, but it turns out I feel crummy all the same.”
“Fluttershy loves you, sugarcube. Not everypony loves everypony else the same way. Ah’m sorry it’s not the way you wanted, but she loves you all the same.”
“Thanks, Applejack. You’re so smart. I’m really lucky to have you as a friend.”
“Ah do mah best,” smiled Applejack “Ah really care about you, Rainbow, and Ah want t’ see you happy. Ah know we fight sometimes, and we’re both stubborn when we think we’re right, but Ah’ll always be there whenever you need me.”
“Oh Applejack, I wish you were gay,” said Rainbow Dash.
Applejack laughed until her eyes were misty with tears.
“What’s so funny?”
“Yer so stupid R.D.!”
Applejack kissed her.
Rainbow Dash jerked as if she’d been struck by lightning. She pushed Applejack roughly away.
“Applejack, what’re you doing!?” she cried.
“Ah… Ah’m sorry, Ah didn’t mean t-”
“I’m all bruised all over that side! That hurts! Kiss me over here!” Rainbow gestured at the undamaged side of her face.
They kissed again. It was soft and tender and wet and hot. It was everything they wanted and everything they needed at the end of a crazy, messed up day.The End of Part 22
To be continued…
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why why would you leave on that kind of note
I enjoyed how you managed to show the darker side of Cadance's love magic.
After all that drama, gentle AppleDash at the end. Also, Cadence and Shining Armor need to get their asses kicked.
I laughed pretty hard when Trixie was mentioned. I guess that makes me a bad person.
ON ANOTHER NOTE,
This is always so very good.
I enjoyed this! So we're finally hitting the climax of the story, and what a story it's been.
Also: I love the Appledash thrown in at the end.
What just happened?
Wut?
kind of upset about Big Mac and Shining Armour and Cadence... Want to know how he gets her back now 
Amazing chapter! More please
Keep up the great work
MOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR I need it. This was the first fanfic I read (actually I read My little Dashie before but that doesn't count because everyone knows it) and now I'm checking everyday for an update.This is just ingenious.
Bloohoohoohoo everything is ruined forever.
Sure glad RD and AJ got together, though.
Suddenly, AppleDash. Love it though.
Also, wow. Everypony hates Big Mac now. That sucks.
585038
No, everypony hates Blueblood. Big Macintosh may have been controlling his body, but it's not like they know that. The only reason anypony would dislike Big Mac is Rainbow Dash, for hitting her, and I think she's a bit distracted at the moment.
She hit the ground like a sack of Skittles.
Ok, this took me a minute to get but damn. You wouldn't also happen to be the family guy writer that sneaks in all the Pat Tillman jokes are you?
585038
Not necessarily so sudden. She's been droppin' hints for a while (starting with chapter 13 I think).
I can't wait for Twi to find out what really happened, pissed off Twilight is best pony.
Awesome chapter. Packed full of revelations and drama! It's nice for Blueblood to finally get some comeuppance for what he's been pulling for years, though you can't help but feel bad for him. Can't wait for what happens next!
"She hit the ground like a sack of Skittles." That's a great line, I love it.
I gotta admit, I was pretty shocked by Cadence's powers the moment I saw them in the season finale. My mind jumped to pretty much exactly what you put here, haha. Not so innocent, is she? I can only hope that Twilight sees the truth before the end.
Oooh... bad ends for everyone here. Big Mac loses Twilight, Twilight loses Blueblood, Blueblood loses Eulalie, Shining Armor and Cadence may have lost Twilight, everyone gets the short end of the stick. Wondering how you turn this around, if you turn it around.
"A terrible thing that I mind-raped you into doing....Wait."
I wonder when the switcheroo gets revealed? Cause when it does, shit is going to go down with Cadence and Shining Armor, and Twilight will be pissed.
585059 - My thoughts exactly. And Q is best.
Cadence isn't supposed to be this evil.
...Ah, what the hell. I can't stop reading it.
I can't wait for Twilight's righteous wrath to strike down on her brother and Cadence for wrecking everything for everypony. I hate those 2 right now but I have a feeling I'm going to be feeling sorry for them pretty soon.
The next chapter will be Big Macintosh and Blueblood assaulting all of Canterlot with their righteous fury. And Fancy Pants will help them, because he is such a good guy, it's ridiculous.
img.ponibooru.org/_images/9fcadddcbb97d41d42177c3eef9ce3cc/93169%2520-%2520fancypants%2520good_guy_fancy_pants%2520good_guy_greg.jpg
--“Sire!” cried Tombs.
Big Macintosh and Tombs wrestled in the center of the clearing.--
One of those is wrong.
587953
OMG, good catch! Of course that was supposed to read Blueblood.
YES~ AppleDash is my gay OTP.
But I feel so bad for Big Mac... so close... And I'm guessing something bad happens to Shining Armor and Cadence later?
Well, great chapter. I hope Big Mac explains what happens and they become friends again.
And really, really?
Just cause someone is hot and gives you money doesn't mean you should sleep with them 
And my prediction: Luna saves everything and/or clears up misunderstandings.
That ending was gay. This chapter was right good, I say. If I were Big Mac... well, I would avoid Applejack now.
589416
"Gay" in a good way I hope?
590379 I don't know, I felt good though.
okay being a big brother my self I can relate to Shining Armour wanting to protect his little sister but there is a line that should not be crossed when doing so and as far as I'm concerned he didn't just cross the line he's so far past the line it is now a dot to him.
I can bear with the fact it's all part of the story but getting Cadence to charm Big Mac like that (even if he's in Blueblood's body) is just so wrong especially considering the outcome has hurt 3 characters, Blueblood finally getting the wake up call he's been needing was a welcome sight but I still think Shining and Cadence need to have some major backlash come about because of this whole thing.
*rolls eyes* As for the Appledash well I saw that coming as soon as AJ mentioned apples trees when trying to give Dash advice in the last chapter, yet another welcome sight I must admit even if it was trying to be sneaky in its own way
Geez Cadance, little rapey there with the mind magic?
Oh s[buy apples]! Damn BIg has the worst luck. All he wants is for Twilight to like him as a pony and now this.
Yeah, sorry Cadance, and Shining too if he was in on it, but I call bullshit. So your sister(in-law) is dating a guy who you've known is a jerk in the past and will probably cheat on her the first chance he gets...so without giving him a chance AT ALL, you use a spell to MAKE him cheat on her. ...Right. PRETTY sure Aunt Celestia would be disappoint.
NOOOOO BIG MAC. Well that certainly sucked for Big Mac and Blueblood. Cadence and Shining Armor need a good ass woopin'
I love it im waiting on beeted hoof for the next chapter
Those bastards. Poor Twilight. Poor Big Mac. Cliffhangers will be the death of me.
Man oh Man do I hate Cadence right now, I hope karma puts her down hard for this
I can't stop drawing crappy pictures of stuff.
i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm312/noneforall2/mlp%20related/twodudes.png
623987
AWWWW MAN! That is so awesome! You've got the golden horseshoe and everything.
This is the new thumbnail pic.
585258 Wow, really? First hint I got was at the frolic. =3
Grammar
"He has Tombs burn her letters with the rest."->"He had Tombs burn her letters with the rest."
585818Rainbow and AJ didn't!
I lol'd at seeing
's name as apart of Blueblood's fucked list.
Annnnnnnd.....AppleDash in the last section. Drat. Oh well. I kinda wish Applejack was straight here.
Wow.
Shining Armor and Cadence are evil, conniving jerks that deserve whatever wickedness comes their way!
And now TWILIGHT has tried to kill him. Why, exactly, does he like her so much, again?
Seriously, though. I can see why Big Mac has pretty much been celibate his whole life. As soon as he gets into the dating scene, his whole life falls apart.
And he still hasn't gotten that damn kiss.
Yes. Yes, he should.
And then, of course, Blueblood attacks Big Mac out of jealousy. Like Mac hasn't been having a bad enough day already.
Seriously, SCREW Twilight.
And that was an awful ending to the chapter. Big Macintosh was manipulated, heartbroken, dragged into a fight he didn't want, and then clobbered by his sister. And now Tombs is probably on his way to inform him that he can't even get his body back. I would have been completely unsurprised to see it end with him tying a noose to the ceiling. To not even show him again (and give Blueblood a scene for him to feel sorry for himself) was just cruel.
You know what? F*ck the Cadence of this story.