Smarter Than Average
"This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the 'b-being eaten' part!" was all Rainbow Dash could grunt as she thrashed against the sparkling tongues and gums of the giant bear's effluent mouth. "Nnnngh! Seriously, what the frig?! Am I just that delicious?! Gaah!"
Rainbow shrieked as the pressure of the jaws increased all around her. She heard her armor buckling in the extremities. An exposed thruster engine or two began to hiss.
"Yeah, uh, no." Frowning, she gripped all five of her helmet's levers at once. "Mmmmf—Taste the rainbow on your own time, buttface!"
Her rockets burned, polishing the insides of the Ursa's mouth with raw flame. The monster merely growled all around her, but kept biting down.
"Oh really?" Rainbow Dash bucked the tongue, swiveled about, and aimed herself past the uvula. "If you want it that badly, then down the hatch!" She kicked loose from the mouth's grip and soared straight down the Ursa's throat. As she did so, there was a flash of light—accompanied by a painful growl. Soon, the glittering purple essence of the immense bear peeled away like a veil, and Rainbow saw nothing but arena floor. "Whoah!" She pulled up, skidding along the rocky ground until she collapsed in front of Imre and others. Her armor was coated from head to tail-less rear with copious saliva. "Unnngh..."
"Jeez!" Imre gasped, her voice a hoarse titter beneath the rising tumult of the bloodthirsty audience above. "That was pretty clever!"
"I feel like cr-crap..." Rainbow stammered as she stirred back onto all fours. "Literally..."
"Actually, by making the bear gag, I think you just forced her to become incorporeal, which allowed you to fly through."
"Really?" Rainbow tilted her helmet up to glance at the unicorn. "Cuz I was hoping that I had..." She paused, blinking against her visor. "Wait, what am I saying?"
The arena shook from the menacing roar of the Ursa as it once more turned around, its eyes flashing red with anger.
"Gotta distract it..." Rainbow wheezed.
Imre helped her up with a glowing red horn. "Yeah, and for h-how long until your fuel runs out and she eats us all anyways?!"
"There's gotta be something I can use against it!" Rainbow shouted as the creature's shadow crossed over the trembling group. She backed up against Imre and the others, sweating. "How about your magic?"
"I'm a doctor, not a big game hunter!"
The Ursa leaned forward, howling its hot breath straight into the puny group.
"Awwwwwww buck me right up the—" Rainbow Dash glanced aside, then gasped. "There!"
"What?" Imre stammered.
"Just hold on a sec!" Rainbow soared off.
"What?!" Imre stammered even louder.
"Nnnngh!" Rainbow made a point to soar straight past the Ursa's muzzle. As a result, the bear snapped at her and her alone. Spinning expertly away from the bite, Rainbow dove towards the floor she had looked at previously. "Ah-ha!" She picked up the loose helmet that had fallen from the half-blade who was devoured earlier by the timberwolves. No sooner was she lifting it in her hooves then a lump of bloody pulp dripped out of the metal headpiece. Rainbow gulped. "Well, there goes my dreamless nights for a while."
The ground behind her pounded as the Ursa charged after her thrusters. Without a second to lose, Rainbow darted up and began flying rapid circles around the arena. The air shook from the bear's hot breaths beating at her dangling hooves. All the while, Rainbow found the strength two tilt her head towards Imre and shout as loud as she could:
"Hey! What are these suits powered on?!"
Imre stumbled to respond to that. "Huh?!"
"These friggin' eggshells that the trainees wear before they get their insides removed!" Rainbow shouted between pants and grunts as she suddenly had to dodge several angry bear swipes. "What powers it all up?!"
"An array of interlaced manaconduits that fill the inner layers of metallic weave with artificial leylines that—"
Rainbow darted past snapping teeth and hooked to the right to dodge a lacerating set of claws. "Yeah! Fine! Great! Let's cut to the chase!" She took a deep breath as she darted up and down, looping around the upper body of the enraged bear. "Can I make this thing olverload at all?! Can it friggin' explode?"
"Why the heck would you wanna make it explode?!" Imre blurted.
"Jee, I dunno!" Rainbow snarled as she kicked off the Ursa's snout, flew between her ears, and darted down the monster's back. "Take one huge guess!"
"Uhhh... Uhhhh..." Imre sweated as she and her trembling companions gazed at the daunting fight.
"Imre, help me out here, ya barn-colored egghead!" Rainbow squeaked. As the bear reached high for her, she found herself once again skimming the force field until she circled back around to the unicorn. "I noticed that my suit thruster thingies were burning faster whenever I made contact with the force field!"
"The force field?!"
"Yeah! Y'know!" Rainbow Dash hovered breathlessly in place and pointed at the edge of the arena. "The sapphiric, glowly bands of light!"
"'Sapphiric' isn't a word!"
"Seriously?!" Rainbow howled down at her as she gripped the helmet so hard it might break. "Right now of all times?!"
"Look out!" a stallion shouted. The Ursa came plowing into the side of the arena. The victims on the floor yelled in dismay and scattered everywhere.
Rainbow Dash dropped the helmet and immediately stretched her hooves out. She caught the bear's muzzle, but then the bear's muzzle caught her. Soon, she was being slammed up against the rock wall of the fighting area, her armor forming rivulets and cracks from the monster's angry pressure.
"Nnnngh..." Rainbow hissed for breath as her visor started to crack down the center. "Imre..."
"It just might work!" The unicorn levitated the helmet with her magic. "Though, to be fair, I've never done this before!" She motioned to an anteloupe, two stallions, and the diamond dog. All four rushed over and gave her a lift so that she could better reach the blue energy field with her telekinesis. "Just stay where you are!"
"Yeah, o-okay," Rainbow hissed as the bear applied more of its massive weight. Drooling in anger, the creature swiped with its paw. Rainbow somehow ducked; a huge chunk was blasted out of the wall behind her from the Ursa's claws. "Are we h-having fun yet?"
"Just hold on..." Imre grumbled as she shoved the floating helmet into the force field. Blue sparks danced around the point of contact. The metal article began to glow hotter and hotter. "Almost... Almost..."
Bearing the full brunt of its fangs, the Ursa reared its head back to strike one last time.
Rainbow blurted, "Imre—!"
"Here!" Imre spun her head and tossed the helmet. She and her cohorts tumbled to the arena floor as the metal armor piece—frothing over with blue plasma—flew towards Rainbow's forelimbs. "Do your worst!"
"My worst?" Rainbow gripped the sparkling helmet in two hooves, wincing as it melted the outer layer of her horseshoes. "Girl, I only ever do my best!"
The Ursa's jaws lunged forward.
"Rrrgh!" Rainbow brought the burning helmet down and slammed it over the starry crest of the unsuspecting beast.
The arena exploded with raw mana. Several metal mares looked away to save their eyes. Pestiferous stood up, her eyes narrowed as she hissed in alarm. Terra's jaw dropped while Roarke leaned forward on the edge of her seat, still trying to hide her trembles...
For several agonizing seconds, the killing floor was nothing but burning plasma, encompassing the entire Ursa... and its prey in turn.
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Clever girl.
PILATE!!! How can this be? I see why he wasn't mentioned in Austraeho.a man with his skills needed a lasting role. It all makes sense now... but you have to wonder, how does he do it? Really? Mortals will never know his secrets.
2447724 why Pilate?
2447788
Its just his unbelievable skill at posting fast comments.
Kaboom!
KA-BOOM!
*Lifts jockstrap to reveal a smiley face*
Though yes, I am quite sure burning plasma isn't quite all that remains there. Cause then we'd have to write all those early end of series jokes from last chapter again.
Instead, I think it's about time for an abrupt change of scene. Because last chapter's death-insinuating cliffhanger wasn't enough.
Yeah... Really hoping like all hell that Dashie still has Whitemane's Shield thing. Because, Other than that, I see no way she could get out of that giant explosion of plasma.
This is Australia...
Burning plasma doesn't sound too healthy, poor prey.
2447932 Maybe friendly fire is turned off?
"I'm a doctor, not a big game hunter!"
Imre is best Dr McCoy
2448093 Dude, Dash is playing on hardcore. That's why she can't see she has a tactical nuke to use.
Achievement unlocked: Get eaten and not become fecal matter!
...And only the Ursa will ever know whether or not Rainbow Dash tastes like skittles...
Most brutal.
Spearhead - Bolt Thrower
2447932
Pretty sure all of Whitemane's magic faded while Belle was having visions of her. I remember her saying something to the effect.
At any rate, I think RD just killed Yogi Bear.
...
...
So, we haven't heard from Crimson in a while, whats he up to?
On a side note, who wants some war between everyone? I think this video made by a good friend of mine will do.
Evilcupcake48
Yeah, she'll be fine.
I declare Imre the chosen queen of the Grammar Nazis. Pit against an Ursa Major, about to be torn to pieces, your only hope of survival standing right before you, asking you a crucial question, but
The entire world is coming apart, you are a slave to a culture of blood-curling maniacs, your kidnapper watches as you are being torn apart for public amusement, BUT
HAIL GRAMMAR!
2448785
Ceterum censeo Searinem delendam esse.
Dammit Jim!
Anywho, plasmatical!
Not quite the act of kindness I was alluding to before, but I guess it works. Although, Dash has all that armor, both Searonese and plot-based, to possibly protect her... it's the rest of the prey I'm worried about.
I can only think of http://www.anyclip.com/movies/the-chronicles-of-riddick/against-lord-marshal/ - and imagine RD leading the Searonese in a battle against the Ledomaritans.
2447799
As he told me once, he may or may not have a problem. But we all love him anyway.
I honestly had a dream about Roarke last night. She (he) was actually a sparkly vampire, posing as a metal mare and madly in love with Rainbow Dash. He was trying to get away with Rainbow so that they could "start over" again in some new place far away.
Also I'm pretty sure there were Xonans around too, but they were just regular humans (stormtroopers?) whose only distinguishing feature was "they shoot lots of guns". I could write fanfiction in my sleep.
Picnic basket.
2450709
He must either be refreshing constantly or doing something that I have know idea of.
yay explosions!
I really hope that Imre has a hidden talent is super-ultra-powerful shield making, and that she just happened to fire it up before the space bear up and exploded. I'm not sure how long the others would have survived after the battle, anyway, given that they'd probably still be viewed as useless castoffs, but Imre should at least make it through...well, onward!
Let's dash up the rainbow report!
Jeez Dash, that was hardcore. Obviously nopony expected them to actually kill the Ursa, so props to science Dash for figuring out that explosions always solve problems. Not going to lie, I'm slightly concerned that Dash might have died, but IC wouldn't do that a second time, would he?
More action packing, and since the Ursa is dead, I bet now Dash gets to fight Terra's halfblood! But it's going to be a bit unfair considering Dash is probably pretty badly hurt, a little ore than depressed considering every other pony in the arena is now dead (including Imre), and her armor is just about guaranteed to be shredded. Maybe it's time for some, crystal intervention? 
Oh, and one last thing, IC, stop with the puns, I need my sides intact so I can finish reading your stories.
P.S: I'm no Lt.Dashie, so I've got to know, is it unprofessional to be using emoticons in my reviews?
True loyalty never dies.
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So we basically just get more awesome fight scenes here. The banter between Dash and Imre is, as always, slightly comical yet still slightly serious. Dash had to have survived that mana blast. Can't wait to see Terra's face. She'll probably challenge Dash herself. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
P.S. Anyone here ever gone to Koholint Island?
No?
Well, it's really nice.
P.S.S. Well, I try not to use emoticons to make it more professional, but you can do what you want.
P.S.S.S. Lt. Dashie...I like it. I like it.
>No sooner was she lifting it in her hooves then a lump of bloody pulp dripped out of the metal headpiece
I definitely think you mean "than"
>Can I make this thing olverload at all?!
Le Typo
Whoo Dash!
Wait, what?
-Spirit
Well . . . God dammit, that was awesome!
IIIIINNNTRODUCING the new and improved Plasma Dash!
fukken called it
Rainbow is growing as a character. Apply forehoof to enemy face is still her go to method, but she isn't discounting intelligence based tactics and strategies. With her own unique flair of course
When all else fails, apply explosions.
Well there we go, way to make that incorporeal nature of your opponent work for you, Dash.
The best fights always end with really big explosions.
Dammit, Jim!
"I've got the beast in my sights."
I just figured you misspelled sapphic this whole time. This is Rainbow Dash.
"Effluent" and "effluence" have been used so many times in this story, and it's incredibly distracting. Effluence refers to something that flows out, while effluent typically refers to flowing sewage. There have been a few times where effluence was the correct word, but even then, it's distracting when the more common usage makes it sound like a book is glowing with sewage.
That.
Is one god-like helmet to explode so epically.
Taste the rainbow
Ha! Rainbow Dash just referred to herself as skittles.
Am I the only one who thinks that would look awesome?
Fuck being on fire, I'd be on fire!
This just seems fitting.
https://youtu.be/Cz5Eh-bTUjA