Boomers Gonna Boom
His forelimbs squirmed, and for a moment he felt as though he was stroking silk-soft bangs.
"Mmmm..." His lips quivered. "Beloved..." He winced. "So sorry... please... don't give up hope... don't... don't..."
He felt the mane hair, only it wasn't mane hair. A leafy head of vegetation was being levitated towards him. He heard the air crackling with magic, and his ears twitched.
"B-Belle?" Pilate's striped brow furrowed as he tried sitting up. "You... y-you got your horn back?"
"Most certainly not a stabby-stabby horse, am Floydien," spoke the hoarse voice. A pair of cloven hooves tilted the zebra's head up so that his muzzle dug into the floating leaves. "Eat, the boomer must, for he has no glimmer glimmer to give him strength. No no."
"Mmmf..." Pilate's face scrunched up. Nevertheless, hunger took over, and he took a bite or two of the substance. His exhausted mouth instantly watered. "This... this is cabbage?"
"Floydien would most certainly hope so. Cabbage does not do well to imitate things that are not cabbage, yes yes yes?"
Pilate almost plunged forward. He took a hearty bite of the scrumptious head, then a second. His mouth filled with delicious greenery, and he swallowed with utmost ease. "Mmmm... oh blessed Spark..." He took a few more bites, finally cradling what was left of the levitating head in two forelimbs. "Mmmf... sir, thank you. Really... for everything. I know we got off to a bad start—"
"What bad start could this be that striped boomer speaks of? We are both refugees of the stabby stabby boomers of the world, we are. The glimmer glimmer consumes us both, by stabby hooves and stabby machines. All is spill. Floydien hates it, but hates not friendly, wise boomer. You eat until nature itself gives you glimmer to gleam with, yes yes?"
"I... I thought..." Pilate's brow furrowed. "Where are we?" He stirred his lower legs, feeling the bed of hay and the body of the wagon beneath it. "We've stopped moving."
"Indeed. Far away from the burning Floydien and striped boomer are. All the closer to Nancy Jane. All the closer to sparks that will lead the way to most beloved maiden of sun and stars."
"Where... Is this yours?" Pilate asked, reaching a hoof out so that he felt a crooked railing of the wagon. "Are you a farmer or something?"
"Negative. Floydien built wagon out of stabby stabby horse bones."
"Gah!" Pilate flinched away from the side of the wagon.
What followed was a bursting shout, like a gunshot, repetitive in its warbling pitch. "A joke Floydien makes. Yes yes yesssss. Scare the stripes off the boomer, almost. His wisdom makes him see enough to become blind once more."
"Er... y-yes..." Pilate gulped and fumbled with what was left of the cabbage. "I've been known to be... erm... d-dense on occasion." He sighed. "Belle would always tease me about my absent-mindedness..."
"Boomer has a Nancy Jane to crawl home to. Yes yes yes. Of understanding Floydien is, and would help the truer glimmer arise to bring both boomers to their maidens."
"Yes... Yes!" Pilate sat up, his face stretched in vigor. "That's what I've been trying to convey all this time, sir!" He gulped and said, "I need to find my beloved. But..." He winced. "I... I can't do it blind. You've done so much to help me, but..." He sighed and felt the barren collar around his neck. "Without the other half of O.A.S.I.S., I can't see enough to save Belle even if I was to find out where she was." With a sad tone, he added, "And it's very dangerous, sir. I can't expect you to go all the way through with it. Besides, you have this 'Nancy Jane' to fine."
"There is only one Nancy Jane. Nancy Jane knows it and waits for Floydien beyond the horns of the stabby stabbiness. Floydien hates the glimmer but needs it to save her."
"Erm... Right." Pilate took a breath. "Listen, Floyd, I have—"
"Floydien is Floydien."
"Floydien, sorry."
"Forgive the striped boomer, Floydien does."
"Floydien, I have to split ways with you sooner than later," Pilate said. "I know that sounds rude and cruel, considering all you've done for me. But... it's just that... well..."
"Boomer is scared of Floydien. Floydien sees what boomer cannot say."
"No! It's not that! It's just that... I-I don't exactly think we have... erm... the same interests."
"Same interests, perhaps, but same mouth? Is the glimmer's fault that we fault to feel with our words."
"Err..." Pilate bit the edge of his lips. "Indeed..."
"Big world is small world is big, yet simple, because of glimmer glimmmer," Floydien said. "Striped boomer cannot see and Floydien cannot lift... at least not for long..."
"You mean your magic?" Pilate leaned forward. "It's running out, isn't it?"
"Indeed. Floydien hates the glimmer, but the glimmer can love Floydien. Will help Floydien find Nancy Jane and will help striped boomer find his own only own... only. Yes yes yes."
"I beg your pardon?"
"A tower rests north of us. Doors to stabby stabby glimmer there be. Floydien would walk through doors but Floydien's antlers do not like to work."
"Wait... you... you mean a Ledomaritan compound?" Pilate grimaced. "Mr. Floydien, I just got thrown off the side of a zeppelin belonging to those heartless vagabonds. They're the ones who have my beloved captured!"
"Yes yes yesssss. All the reason for Floydien and boomer to knock on their skulls."
"I don't think you understand! I-I'm completely blind and useless without my manasphere! And you... you're... you're..." Pilate sweated. "Well, just what are you?"
"Am missing Nancy Jane. The rest is spit."
"Yes, but—"
"Spit!"
"I get it!" Pilate growled. "At least I think I do. But... w-we could get hurt! Captured! Even killed!" He swallowed hard. "I know you want to get to Nancy Jane, Mr. Floydien, but if I'm to get to my beloved Belle, I gotta do it the smart way."
"The tower is the smart way is the smart way. Their heads will smart. They will learn knowledge of stabby stabby, the knowledge they do not wish to find. They will open the door to us or else they will open the door to more of their own spit."
"Sir, it... I..." Pilate closed his eyes and exhaled long and hard. "...I don't have a say in this, do I?"
"Boomer has stripes and half-a-glimmer. Allow Floydien to have the rest. No harm will come to boomer."
With that, the wagon started moving again, following the clopping sound of four slender hooves.
"Boomer did not fall to fall again!" Floydien said, his hoarse voice almost taking a joyous pitch. "Will only fall upwards, like Nancy Jane! Floydien promises! Yes yes he does!"
With a groan, Pilate curled up once more atop the wagon. "Sometimes I wonder why I didn't go deaf instead..."
"Would it bring glimmer to the boomer for Floydien to sing?"
"No."
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Was sitting here waiting for this. Not ashamed at all.
Also, Floydien
uh...
yeah, that's all I got...
*zooms away*
I'm so glad this updated, Scolon. This was one of the funniest chapters to date, but I have to ask... are you watching me?
You have my sarcastic personality and my roundabout way of saying things nearly perfect. Also, this line made my day because this is exactly what I would have said in the same situation:
Holy mother of Celestia, man.
Easily one of the best lines in this story so far.
Also, I like how Floydien corrected Pilate when he said Floyd. Floydien is apparently very stubborn and does not take kindly to nicknames.
We also learn something about Floydien's "Nancy Jane" in this paragraph:
Is that a Shel Silverstein reference I see here?
At any rate... excellent chapter, Scolon, well worth the update. I'm going to assume that we'll see Shell next, but who knows?
Floydien is very profound. The problem is he's almost impossible to read.
Almost.
At least the conversation is lively.
2304799
mind translating for me then? 'cause i cant make head or tail for it.
Ah, more of Pilate's story. Excellent.
It would bring glimmer to Personifire if Floydien sang to boomer, yes. Because Personifire is a sadistic
stabby stabby horseperson.2304873
Think simplicity. Floydien isn't really saying much, but he puts things into more words than is necessary.
I find it fun to read Floydien.
Hmm. A tower... with a door beneath it... surrounded by Ledomaritan soldiers. Did Pilate somehow manage to fall all the way back to Blue Shelf?
Pilate, would you like Floydien to sing? I must say, I like Floydien. He is cryptic in the way he says things. It sure is interesting to see Pilate trying to figure out what Floydien is saying. All hail New Rome, ZADUBADABU!!!
Now then, dear author.
At long last I have done it. Your journey is a long and perilous one, and it took me months to catch up with you. But with all the effort invested, I am truly proud to have followed you east. I have quite a few things I’d like to get out of my system now, but I know your time is valuable and would understand if you decided not to read them. I’d also like to apologize in advance for the large amount of comment space I’m about to occupy – if anyone knows a way to put all this into spoilers, please tell me. But what do I know: space is a waste, time is a crime.
Let me begin by stating a solemn truth: For months on end I have been in absolute awe of your capabilities as a writer. Today I know that this is not even your primary account; combining both of them, you have produced more than a million words of fanfiction – what you posted on this website equals the Harry Potter series in length.
But you do not only impress in quantity. In quality, I put you above all but the greatest of professional writers. I often thought of Austraeoh as the pony version of Stephen King’s Dark Tower – not only in terms of common motifs, but also in terms of professionalism. A personal friend of mine considers your other major work, Background Pony, to be the single most beautiful piece of literature he has ever laid eyes on. Throughout this entire series, the sheer intricacy of your stories, the hand-crafted delicacy of so many of your sentences has enraptured me time and time again. You have made me laugh, you have made me cry and you have made me suffer and I thank you with all my heart for it.
Now, English isn’t my mother tongue. You could say that my grasp of fine English literature is mediocre at best, that I am not fit to judge whether something is good or great writing and to some point you’d be correct. But I say: without a real sense of language, English writing hardly ever breaks through my shell of inability. You smashed it down like a brick wall. You did not touch me with your writing, your grasped me with it. I still cannot believe how anyone writing on a non-professional level could be such a genius.
And even aside from your writing, you continue to impress me. I admire your style, really. Down to the fact that you never ever comment down here and still show us that you read the gibberish we come up with. It was the respect that you show your commenters that convinced me to finally create an account on this website – for no other purpose but to comment on your work, despite the fact that I was halfway through Eljunbyro at that point. I felt the need to give you back something for this wonderful gift I have received, as little as I had to offer offer.
But of course I knew none of that when I set off to travel in your footsteps. I still remember how it went: Austraeoh had been featured for the fourth or fifth time that day. I had seen it before, that enigmatic description that somehow managed to tell of discovery and adventure in three simple words, that in combination with a simple picture woke in me a feeling I rarely ever know: Fernweh, how we call it in my language, the consuming desire to travel far, far away and discover the unkown.
I had flinched away from reading the story several times. 180 chapters, I thought, I have no time for that. With great reluctance, I took a peak into the first few lines that day. Before I knew it, twenty chapters had passed and I was at the edge of my seat, feeling that emotion, Fernweh, gnawing at my soul. Those twenty chapters, without any interaction at all, just scenic writing from start to finish – if it were up to me, the entire story could have went like that. In my opinion, this kind of writing is what you do best. I couldn’t sleep that night.
Then came the plot, background. Mystery gave way to adventure, less bitter, less sweet, much more entertaining. Nation after nation you brought them up, created and discarded characters with a frequency that time and time again ripped a hole into my heart– after all you are nothing if not cruel, dear author. Yet while I dearly miss them all, from Cold Canter to Red Turnip, I cherish the many, many memories you gifted me with. Your creativity is astonishing, your ideas as numerous as they are ingenious. Still today, I like to tease my friends by speaking to them in Darkstine Talk now and then.
Then it came to an end, and the pain returned. I read the last twenty chapters in tears. Limey… even for a guy like you that was cold. Yet still, through all the heartache you made me feel, I could never stop to admire you. The way you had built up suspense towards Axan’s appearance, the way you changed the entire story into a bitter tragedy as if it was nothing special… when I finished Austraeoh, I didn’t know there would be a sequel. As a final proof of how much you moved me, I was shouting at my screen. Literally. Something along the lines of “You goddamn jerk, you can’t let it end like this! You can’t!”.
You didn’t.
Eljunbyro came, and I quickly started to hate Bellesmith because I was sure that she was going to replace Rainbow as the main character. In my personal opinion, Eljunbyro was not quite as good a read as Austraeoh was, but for subjective reasons: I think the bittersweet, permanent shift in characters and surroundings was what gave the story its primary appeal. Still, a bit less great than Austraeoh still means amazing… I mean awesome. I was at chapter 40 when you added the simple words “Rainbow Dash continues to fly east.” to the description, at which point I thought I was having a cardiac arrest. I realized that I had really disliked this sequel because I feared that Rainbow, whose personality I have come to love, had left us.
She didn’t.
Instead she travelled on, although, as Pilate so beautifully said, more in terms of character development than anything else. Now, I do not get this aching any longer when I read her episodes. To me, that constant air of tragedy has mostly left her. I think she finally understood who she is, and it makes me happy that you would give her that.
So, after countless hours of reading, I can only raise my hat to you, as the greatest fanfiction writer in the history of greatest fanfiction writing. You have probably been told many times before, but I really hope you are proud of yourself. Yours is a special talent. Now only one thing remains to do in order to make things perfect…
…eradicate the god damn Searonese.
“Through the crowd, I was crying out
And in your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to get this right.“
In deep admiration,
A Fan
2304855
Ba Du... Tccchhhhh...
Lol...
2305166
You sir, are the perfect example, epitomy, and essence of the feelings I have for this story. I want to comment on you post for multiple reasons, but if nothing else, to draw notice to the most sincere, and perfect response to this story I have ever read. You say that English is not your first language, and yet you can express yourself, heck, you can express my feelings better than myself.
Thank you
Scolon, when you read the comment that I'm referring to, you have read how much you truly changed the people reading this story for the better. You have gotten so many compliments before, but this one should be printed out and framed. Keep up the utterly astonishing, amazing, epic, awesome, and truly professional work.
We can't thank you enough.
The comment a few people above? That was magic.
I don't think I can put my admiration into so many words, even though English is my mother language. I mean seriously, I couldn't possibly express in as many words the sheer amount and variety of feelings that went through my very being, starting from Austreaoh. But I too am inspired to make an attempt to put into several sentences what this series means to me. This is possibly going to be my longest comment ever, and I figure I need to put my heart into it, so here goes.
The theme of this whole series, in my opinion, has been what I call The Journey. And indeed, it is a journey. The purely scenic pieces, the untamed lands, the very nature of Austreaoh was about the physical part of the journey, the miles of flight and places to rest and unique ponies that our heroine met along the way. It was painstaking to watch Rainbow's fits from the chaos magic inside her. Every time it happened, I think I speak for everyone when I say we were reminded that she might not make it back to Canterlot, much less Ponyville.
And every time, it ripped a hole in me, and shocked me, and angered me all at the same time, making me wish they'd done more than simply turn Discord back to stone.
But even more heart-wrenching was watching her help these settlements and towns, turn their problems into nothing more than another cloud to kick into the ether, and all with the understanding that she just couldn't settle down. No rest. Resting meant stagnation, stagnation meant death, and a quiet death is not what defines Rainbow Dash. If she's going into the void, she's doing it kicking, screaming, and with the contrail of a Rainboom at her back.
Romance could have formed. Friendships could have been maintained. But she moved. She moved with a purpose, and we do not find out what that purpose is until sometime later... when Axan turns up and realizes her mistake in nearly tearing Dash to shreds.
With Rainbow Dash half-dead, I was on the edge of my seat, clinging to any shred of hope I could hold onto...
...Which was when you switched characters.
I didn't know what to think. I stared at the screen, even as I ate every word fed to me. Who is this? What is she doing with the Element of Loyalty? Who's this Pilate and what does he have to do with all this? And why are we seeing Rainbow Dash's past, all of it, through this new pony's eyes?
Was I angry? No. I was fascinated.
What you did in Eljunbyro was introduce a new character, a new part of your world, in the most breathtaking and perfect way one could possibly have done it. The way you spun your words was mesmerizing, and I began to identify with Belle as she was discarded from the research project, and began to loathe Shell for his cold approach to it. The plot thickened immensely as Whitemane once again entered the picture, the regal, majestic Princess of Dreams. The characters, both Pliate and Bellemsith, had a destiny, a purpose. Not just as support to Rainbow Dash, but a direct and vital part of her story.
The part that we do not discover until far, far later in that second arc, where Pliate finds the inscriptions in the ruins and begins to match them with the book. Yes, I think this is the more important part of Eljunbyro, more important than Bellesmith finding out about her role in Rainbow Dash's growth. This is the part where things begin to get serious, and I still wonder about what's in that book even now... or whether it will ever get fully translated, whether its secrets will be revealed.
It could be the key to everything.
I said above that Rainbow Dash grows in Eljunbyro, and that is the theme of the second arc. The emotional, inner part of The Journey. Rainbow started this out having lost the most important ponies in the world to her, the other Elements of Harmony. But were they really gone, or were they somewhere within her? Do they still have a role to play in all this? While I know not of all this, I do know that Rainbow has friends again. Friends that give her purpose, drive, a reason to keep going and keep fighting and keep living.
Even when she was betrayed by a desperate stallion who trusted their pursuers to free him and his comrades, to let them leave unscathed, she never left her friends behind. Instead she was torn from them, snatched out of thin air.
Ledomare has lost Bellesmith, Pilate, and Rainbow Dash to forces beyond their control. Crimson and his remaining comrades are scattered, and Roarke is still an unknown factor. Even this medic, this new entry in the formula, is a new and exciting twist.
The only question is... what happens when the two opposing forces of Ledomare and Searo finally collide? And what of Xonan territory? Will Rainbow find a way through this war-torn land, and perhaps even solve one of the biggest problems she's come across since the start of her journey?
One thing is for sure... it'll take the Magic of Friendship... and of Harmony.
Lemme sum it up... YOU ARE BADASS. I love you, and that's real talk.
From a fellow fic author, you have respect from all of us that turn words into art.
Damn. Long comments are long. You know you've done good when you get responses like that, so lemme just say - you deserve the praise. As for this chapter - Pilate's POV keeps the mystery of the whole thing going really well, especially when his only companion seems to speak in crazy talk that would require a dictionary written by Pinkie Pie to decode. I'm just hoping Pilate's batty buddy turns out to be a crouching moron hidden badass, or they're gonna be pretty screwed once they enter the camp. Unless Pilate has secret zebra warrior knowledge hidden up his stripes, of course. Anywho, until tomorrow!
He's not joking.
Floydien has reminded me how great the original Yoda was.
Before the prequels ruined him...
Finding My Way - Rush
M'aiq The Liar? What are you doing here?
so, glimmer:spark::stabby:ledomartians::nancy jane:?
Is... Is Floydien a Magpie?
Floydien's dialogue seems like it's really fun to write. Reading it is slightly difficult though.
I find myself wondering exactly what Floydien is. He seems to be a unicorn, judging from his use of magic, but the point about him running out of magic makes me think that something's up. Unicorn magic doesn't just run out like that, does it? Maybe he has some sort of device that lets him use magic. We won't know anyway until someone else runs into them, because Pilate can't see what he looks like.
Honeytiger shall now tell the pathetic humans Honeytiger's reaction to every time floydien spoke. *ahem* DAFUQ DID I JUST READ? Anyways, back to burning peoples hands off.
Could do with a handy glossary of Floydien -> English
This is more confusing than Darkstine. Floydien is undeniably odd, and the way we're reading from Pilate's blind perspective is really helping to give him an aura of utter confusion. I mean mystery.
Argh. People are posting massive comments full of introsepctive thought, and I am desperately attempting to scrape some garbage from my shallow, shallow mind to praise you with.
...You done good. More like this.
Damnit.
I like Floydian...I don't trust him and something is making me pity him...he sounds...damaged but somehow well meaning...maybe. Hard to say though Pilate may want to pay close attention to what he says. He could be in trouble after all.
Antlers? At first I thought he was a Diamond Dog. Must have misread something.
Also, damn long comments in this one, heh.
This story... This world... Really awsome.
If that isn't Pilate in a nutshell, what is?
This chapter is a goodin yes yes.
Floydien ist back to a Skaven voice for me. Sniffling included.
But I think I got it now. Stabby horse would be a unicorn (their horns are sharp after all). Glimmer would be magic I assume, given how Pilate has not "Glimmer Glimmer to give him strength" - with O.A.S.I.S. out. I am now absolutely certain that Floydien is an Antelope. Cloven hooves, antlers and the ablitiy to use magic leave little doubt on that one.
What makes me wonder is the term boomer. First I thought he was referring to Pilate specifically, but that is now disproven. I suppose it's a word for ponies in general - it would make sense at least, given how the ponies Floydien has probably encountered before were most probably armed with guns. And let's not forget the fact that Shell just burned the entire area with a bombing run!
Almost forgot to mention: this is another tremendously beautiful sentence.
Yes, Floydien! I have no idea who he is and that intrigues me.
Peter Jackson called. He wants his character back.
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So we learn a bit more about Floydien in this chapter. First off, we learn that he's got four slender hooves and antlers. Us he a gazelle, perhaps? Or maybe a stag. Anyways, the "stabby stabby" horses must be the unicorns and the "glimmer glimmer" must be magic. That would make the most sense. And an assault on a Ledomaritan tower? We'd better hope our Floydien is nothing less than a fancy fighter if we want him and boomer to survive. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
Can someone tell me what's up with long comments?
Maybe not deer, elk or gazelle? Or moose?
Although I don't know about moose (mooses?
meese?
), since they might have thicker legs. 
-SPirit
2305988
Massive props for Rush. Very, very good.
Pilate is going to die.
" All the closer to sparks that will lead the way to most beloved maiden of sun and stars."
Are these diamond dogs aware of Luna and Celestia?
No one makes me go "wut" more than Floydein.
Ye, Floydien! Sing us a song!
"TICKING AWAY THE MOMENTS THAT MAKE UP A DULL DAY"
I think he's going to end up being a stag. Slender hooves do not a moose make.
2304794
sharp eye, bruvva
No, not this guy again
5970100 a part of me thinks it would be hilarious if he had an amazing talent for singing and Pilate just missed out.
Now what is Floydian?
6157640 Spit.
I'm really suspicious of who this "Nancy Jane" actually is, just seems like it's going to be very significant.
Spit!
I thought a throne of bones were awesome. A wagon of bones is even more bad ass.
______________________________
Yes! For all that's holy sing!
6157640
He's an antelope. Since he as antlers. Of course the more correct answer is "Floydien is awesome."
I still have no idea what "boomer" or "glimmer" are.
Apparently Pilate is a boomer, but then so are the unicorns (stabby boomers). Floydien himself has antlers, so he's some kind of deer - maybe boomer is what he calls equines?
Edit: no, Floydien calls himself a boomer too. Maybe it just means "bloke".
And glimmer is even weirder - it "consumes" them both; yet Pilate has none until "nature itself" gives it to him. Floydien hates it but needs it to save his beloved.
In most cases it seems to mean magic, but not always.