Hello, there!
If you've accessed this, that means you're interested in me, Twilight Sparkle, and the adventure I just had with Fluttershy's pet rabbit, Angel!
For a little while now I've been using memory magic to recall the fond events of everything that happened. If you look below, you'll be able to see some recollected memory segments that I've transcribed for you in a kind of literature-based format.
It takes time to remember it all, and even to transcribe it accurately; remember to check back every once in a while!
I'm also not so great with these magical storage units just yet. There could be some delay related to it, but I'm getting the hang of it!
~ See you soon,
Student of Princess Celestia,
Twilight Sparkle
Chapters (4)
Okay, let's see. The description is good, it grabbed my attention enough to check it out. "Twilight botches a spell" has been used over a million times by now, but considering the circumstances are a little different, I'll give you a pass on that. I think you could still take this somewhere. The writing itself though, has a bit of an issue, namely the rampant overuse of ellipsis. While I could say I get that since these are thought transcribed it kinda makes sense, the problem is that it makes the whole story look torn apart and very fragmented, which is something you should try to avoid. I haven't noticed all that many spelling errors, but you might want to give it another run-through, just in case, for stuff like this:
"It even might be possible to give all earth and unicorn ponies permanent magic abilities, too...!"
I'm pretty sure you meant earth and pegasus ponies, right?
All in all, I can see promise in this story, but it'll need some fine-tuning here and there as well.
HEY! I KNOW THIS GAME!!! It was on my dad's cellphone a few years back! I DID NOT EXPECT THIS!!!!!!
*spoiler*
Twilight gets shot!
I love this story! It's well written, and it seems almost like a conceptual mirror image of a story that I've been writing (the one with Minty and Pinkie). I can hardly wait for more.
Just wanted to say that I've been enjoying this story. The 'Twilight screwing up a spell' was a bit cliche but you managed to work it in a new way, and having Angel alongside the trip wasn't something that I've ever seen but has been well done here.
I'm so glad to see this continue! It has a really nice, sweet tone coming from Twilight's narration that makes it a pleasure to read. Your character work is quite charming, and the idea of pairing Twilight and Angel together for an adventure is really unique. I'm curious to learn more about the rather extreme social injustices of this new land, and just what the deal is with ponies here... As well as figuring out exactly where they've ended up.
Great job, and please keep it coming!
This story gives me joy.
Incidentally, it also seems to have a lot of parallels with another excellent one I've been following: My Choices: Twisted Tales Through Time
That's not meant as a complaint in any way. I love both stories and am eager to see where they're going.
This story is simply a wonder to read. I tend to read a lot of dark stories so this is a welcomed change. The detail you place into Twilight's thought and mannerism really bring out the narrative. The character of Prairie has also grown on me quite a bit. I hope to learn more about her in coming chapters. I truly look forward to the festival and all that it brings.
The plot thickens.....
A conspiracy, eh?
...Interesting....
So, my big suspicion?
This "princess of Trottenheim"?
Celestia.
White alicorn with pink mane?
Filly Celestia.
That's how I think it's gonna go down. You're welcome to your own ideas.
When will the next chapter be up?
Story too good to let die. Needs updating!