Did you know that being suspended in midair by telekinesis can actually be quite comfortable if you relax? I think my relaxed state bothered the unicorn guards a bit, but they did a good job of hiding their fear. I suppose I could have asked them, but Celestia had placed some sort of silence spell on us all that literally zipped out mouths shut. Mental note: If I ever learn that I can use magic, I am definitely mastering that spell.
Anyhow, Celestia and Luna had been taking us back one at a time to interrogate us in private. Why did I have to go last? Hmph. Every time one of my companions were brought back out, their faces were totally blank. I was honestly starting to get a little worried. After an intolerably long wait full of silence and angry glares from the guards levitating us, I was brought into a small chamber with no furniture or windows. The guards stayed outside and now I was alone with the two most powerful beings that I had ever encountered.
I had been planning on how to act during this moment for quite some time now, so when their telekinetic grip on me was released I did not hesitate. I immediately sank into a low bow and greeted them, “It is an honor to formally meet the Princesses Celestia and Luna. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the actions of my fellow humans. I pray that we can learn from you and your little ponies during our peaceful stay here in Equestria.”
I looked up. Clearly a well thought out apology was not what they were expecting. Luna recovered first. “How doest thou know of our names? The guards were instructed to remain silent.”
This was the big moment. If the universe collapses because of this, it was worth it.
“In my native land, there are stories told of the land of Equestria, and of its amazing inhabitants. These stories have only recently begun circulating, so my fellow humans have never heard of you, but to me, you are familiar figures.” I hope I didn’t lay it on too thick...
The two alicorns traded inscrutable glances. I laid it on too thick, didn’t I? Honestly, at this point I was having to restrain myself from glomping Luna. Did I mention that Luna and Fluttershy are the best ponies? Fluttershy more so, but she wasn’t present, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind just a little glomp.... NO! Bad Isaac! No glomping while your fate hangs in the balance. Wait, what is going on now? I had zoned out. It would seem that I had just missed out on a hushed conversation between the Princesses. It is so hard to take them seriously when I all I can think of are pictures of Luna in socks.... Focus Isaac!
The royal sisters turned back to me, and Celestia spoke, “We accept your apology, but only tentatively. Perhaps you could tell us more of the circumstances regarding your arrival here.”
I nodded, “It is only fair.” So then I summed up what had happened the day I “died.” They both nodded every now and then, but neither of them said a word. When I was finished, I asked them, “Now that I’ve told you my part, would you mind sharing your half of the story?”
They looked to each other again- I’m seriously starting to think they have some sort of telepathy or something- then Luna spoke up, “We think it best for all of you to hear it at the same time.”
Makes sense to me. I mean, why say something four times when you can just say it once and be done with it? I nodded to show my consent, but then a thought occurred to me. “What happened to our belongings?”
“They are currently under study by a team of unicorns,” Celestia informed me.
My stomach dropped. Unicorns. Messing with my laptop and phone... this cannot end well. Not to mention them experimenting with my pistol. I blurted out, “Please, send them a message to not do ANYTHING to my belongings. Their actions could have terrible consequences.” I’m not too sure how stable the time stream is, but I know that introducing technology from the future is a big no-no.
Celestia nodded, “Very well.” She scrawled a quick message on a scroll that she materialized and sent it on its way. Can alicorns create matter? I mean, sure it’s magic, but can she really just break physics like that? I’ll have to ask later.
We returned to our group of floating humans. I got to walk this time! I did catch a few glares and confused glances from the guards as I came walking out with the Princesses. I plastered on my best poker face, but I might have snickered... a little bit. However, Alkaios and Fang Hua’s faces were a bit more... angry when I came waltzing back with a Princess on either side of me. Annabeth seemed to still be in shock from being violently thrust into a world of talking mythical creatures. I would probably be in a similar state were it not for my knowledge of the incredible phenomenon that is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Once I was reunited with my recent bipedal acquaintances, Celestia motioned for the guards to lower them to the floor. The guards did so, but still kept a firm hold on them, Alkaios in particular. Celestia took a deep breath and explained what would be a major plot point if this were a story... hmm I may just write this down later.
“Yesterday afternoon, my sister and I attempted a dangerous spell. We were attempting to reinforce the wards that bind Discord, the spirit of chaos, in stone.”
OK, so I am in season two Equestria. Good to know. I wasn’t really sure up till now. I mean, I’d read enough fanfiction to realize that timelines weren’t always.... lines. Anyway, back to the exposition.
“This spell took up an immense amount of energy. When we finished the spell, a huge flash of light occurred, and you four were laying on the ground around the statue.”
Luna picked up the explanation, “We presume that Discord’s chaotic magic warped the spell slightly, and, at the time, we believed that you were servants of Discord that he called here to wreak havoc upon Equestria. Therefore, you were stripped of your belongings and placed in confinement.”
Celestia picked up the tale, “We now know that you were brought here through no fault of your own, and, if you agree to be peaceful, we will gladly allow you to live out your lives here. If you so wish, we can research ways of returning you to your homes, but it will be unlikely that any success will come. What do you say to our offer?”
Must... resist... urge to... yell wildly.... “I think that sounds fair.”
The remaining humans attempted to speak before realizing that the spell of silence was still present. A small smile flitted across Celestia’s lips (perhaps the Trollestia version of her is not entirely off...?) before she banished the spell with a wave of her horn.
Alkaios immediately roared, “Where is my shield?!?”
Luna countered in the Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice, “THOU SHALT RECEIVE THINE POSSESSIONS UPON PROVING THY WORTHINESS!”
Wow. Her voice literally made us slide back a few inches, and I had a ringing in my ears for the next thirty seconds or so. What was I expecting from the inventor of caps-lock though? Oh boy, now Alkaios is grumpy. He sulks like a man, crossing his arms and pouting the most manly of pouts. I’m certainly not going to be the one to point out how immature he is being. I mean, yeah, a shield is to a spartan as a red plaid shirt is to a lumberjack. That is to say, you can’t be one without the other. Still though, the dude needs to chill out.
Fang Hua stepped forward. “I vow to live by your laws till I return home. I do not care what the risks are in returning, I will return to my Emperor.”
Annabeth spoke up, “Er- well, I’m still not entirely clear as to what has happened, but I will not be the one to start any fights while I’m here. I’m not sure if I want to stay or return yet though...”
“That is quite alright Annabeth. You can decide when you feel more comfortable making that decision. No one will rush you to make the choice.” Celestia comforted Annabeth with a loving glance. D’aaaawww Celestia is a pretty awesome ruler after all.
“You don’t have to even ask me. I am staying. This place is amazing, though I hope you don’t mind if I do introduce a few improvements during our stay.” Hmmmm, what is the first thing to introduce... I don’t recall ever seeing brownies during the show, and I’ll bet that Pinkie Pie would LOVE brownies. Huh, speaking of the Elements of Harmony, I wonder what they are like in person.
“If you don’t mind my asking, where will we be staying? If I could be so bold as to offer a suggestion...” I looked to Celestia. She nodded for me to continue, “If we could be placed in Ponyville, under the observation of the Elements of Harmony, you could keep a close eye on us while still allowing us to live out our own lives.”
Celestia and Luna looked surprised at my knowledge of the Elements, and everybody else just looked plain confused. Annabeth pulled me close and whispered, “What are you talking about? How do you know so much about this place?”
“I told you I’d explain everything later, and you never did give me that kiss...” Her eyes flashed in anger. Hmm, better not bring that up again unless I want to get slapped. “I promise that I’ll answer any questions that you have as soon as I can, but for now, just trust me.” I looked to Fang Hua and Alkaios, who had been listening in on the whole conversation. They all nodded their consent.
Finally, Alkaios broke out of his pouting. I guess his time out was over? He looked to the Princesses and spoke deliberately, “I give you my word that I will not start any confrontations during my stay here. I will stand up for those who are unable to do so, and I will defend myself if needed. I will avoid using lethal force unless absolutely necessary. Is that acceptable?”
Luna and Celestia traded worried glances again (telepathy was not needed to interpret that look). The Princess of the Night looked at the Spartan and said, “This is acceptable. You four will stay in Ponyville under the care of the Elements of Harmony. Your belongings will be returned to you and you will leave for Ponyville now.”
Sweet. Wait, NOW? As in “now” now? It would appear so since the guards are now escorting us out of the grand hall. Silence descended upon our group as we passed through the halls of Canterlot Castle. Traces of our earlier rampage were still visible, and numerous courtesans pointed and whispered as we passed. After an eternity of marching through ornate hallways and chambers, we emerged out into the sun. A covered chariot was waiting for us along with a few ponies who were carrying our gear. Each of us received our possessions and stepped into the chariot with nary a word. Finally, the doors closed and we were on our way to Ponyville. My companions were surprised when we left the ground, but still nothing was said. I was seriously starting to get freaked out. Am I being given the silent treatment? I mean, I know that my advances on Annabeth were a bit overt, but isn’t the silent treatment a bit much? I was lost in thought.
Annabeth cleared her throat after what seemed like hours, but was really only about two minutes. She fixed me with a glare that could curdle milk. “I do believe that you have some explaining to do.”