kenny26
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I demand more of the story, but less clop, it just came out of freaking nowhere man! So please, no more clop, just doesn't work with a story like this.
I did consider re-editing the last chapter. I'll come back to it later, but thanks for the comment.
I sincerely hope nothing worse happens to that poor mare; she's been through enough, and I hope she can stay with her 'stallion'... Hope our hero takes her back to Ponyville and gets her wounds treated as even if she can't speak, that'd be better than nothing. Perhaps he might try to also find her remaining family, if she has any...
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I have plans for some fluff and good times for the silent mare, whose name still escapes Samuel and myself. What should I call her?
Thank you for the comment. I'm glad this story is well-received as it is my first and I had my doubts that I could attract an audience with so many other stories out there.
The story's awesome; keep it up. As for that poor mare (Silent Heart, perhaps?), she needs all the kindness she can get after being the prisoner of that horrible dragon!
give her the name Aida which if the internet is right The Latin name Aida means - helpful just throwing it out there its not a pony name but this is a human naming a pony so you could go with that?
a human with second hand knowledge of MLP just throwing that out there saying he wont come up with a pony name but a human one
Carmen; Latin for song
Yay! He got her out; he rescued his mare! Now, to fix his armor... Maybe he'll be able to make her some kind of armored suit, to give her a semblance of the abilities she had (when she had her horn before it was broken)? Perhaps her horn can be repaired? Doubtful, given how long she's been down in that dark pit. I hope he can continue to help her...
I don't think Samuel has that kind of technology. He abandoned his labs on Earth and he knows nothing of magic or Pony anatomy. But making the silent mare wear the visor and use the Heads-Up-Display seemed kind of fun in a doable way.
You have a very odd style of writing and i appreciate it. Hope this story gets more views, you deserve them. Some parts of this chapter were just beautiful and i can't wait for more.
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Thank you for the comment. Thank you everyone who has commented. It's been very helpful to hear how you like the story, and equally important to be told when I made a slip-up. I'll keep writing this story and I know my style is odd. Most stories are told in the third person perspective, so telling one from the first person perspective seemed like a lot of fun. It lends another dimension to the character, when they become the narrator. Even the silent mare acts as the narator for the portions where we follow her.
nice job
Awesome; they're back in Ponyville. Now to get the mare checked at the local hospital, as well as perhaps reintroduce her to 'pony' life...
you did well on the chapter as a whole
No it's not; I love it. She's good/great for him! Lovely romantic/smexy scene, too... but now, Twilight's here and she's gonna grill him like a hamburger with her questions... until Euphoria slaps or bonks her with a hoof!
good name
good match
have a pinkie
I'm glad the name was well-chosen, I thought it sounded good, too. But sometimes I can't quite tell when I'm the only one who likes my ideas. Thank you for the support. I'm eager to continue the story later.
WOW JUST WOW but its a good wow
a very good story.
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Thank you. I'm glad people are enjoying this story, because it's tons of fun to write and I don't think there are many like it. I'm a cyberpunk fan.
Silent Song. Maybe.
:V This story is crack, so you always need more.
neat story... I think you have done well....with well.....all of it. There are only a few errors (which are spelling and are in earlier chapters), and they aren't important. Congratulations. I have a story of my own that I would like some assistance to if you will help. I will leave a link right here
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Thank you, I will try to provide more. I wanted to write all night last night, but the site was down, so I guess I'll get cracking on the next chapter as of today.
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I'm glad the typos aren't too abundant. I'm not using spellcheck and I don't have any proofreader, so I just type from memory and most of the time, the spelling it correct. When in doubt, I just type the start of the word in google search and the suggestions always show the correct spelling. So I guess google is my spellcheck?
Mah crack!
I love it!
Will the Mane Six ever learn about Euphoria's broken horn and ruined cutie mark? I know Twilight will be horrified / deeply saddened by the loss of the horn, and Rarity might become ill when she sees what happened to Euphoria's cutie mark.
I wonder if anything can be done about that. I suppose the most that could be done would be to flatten the remnant of horn so she has a smooth forehead, and then carefully heal over the cutie mark so she's what's called a blank flank. Still... sad times :(
So much feels for Euphoria I feel so bad for her after going through Rarity's question about her Cutie mark.
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They probably will learn the truth of her injuries eventually. I don't plan on providing a miracle cure for her though. What's done is done and I think it makes the character more powerful when she overcomes her limitations, rather than holding out for some divine intervention.
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I'm glad you liked it. It's going to be one of her main challenges in fitting in, since most ponies take their Cutie Marks for granted and always assume that other ponies will have their Marks, too.
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What I get bored I read like a monster.
11.5k pages a day if I take a whole day off for just reading
other then that at least 2k
Awesome story. Only one problem... Y U MIX DIFFERENT AGES?!
Twilight and robocop around 21th century. Biogenetics Around the year 2900 - 3300. Nanobots Around 3600 - 4200. Quantum technology Around 5300 - 5500.
So please fix this. Otherwise it was awesome
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Honestly, I don't see your logic or how you could arrive at those numbers. It's sci-fi technology and until we actually obtain it, it's meaningless to speculate on what year that would occur. The time period during which Samuel left earth is a not-too-distant future, or possibly even present day. Like the story reads in the first chapter, it's all experimental technology and prototypes, completely dodging the bureaucracy and legal technicalities.
I've seen a TED Talks video where scientists surgically implanted a wire in an infant chimpanse's brain and as the chimp matured, they'd built a fully functional cybernetic arm for said ape to remote pilot with his mind. We can already do a lot of crazy stuff with science.
As for 'fixing' that bit, I don't think I can and if you've played games like Metal Gear Solid 4, you'll notice nanobots is already pretty common in sci-fi writing, even for stories ano 2010-ish.
Finally, the quantum technology is also borrowed from stuff like TED Talks. We have so-called quantom computers today, though we haven't succeeded in getting them to do more than a dozen computations at a time. We also have quantom teleportation for sending top-secret messages. It's pretty wild, actually.
Anyway, thank you for the comment. I always appreciate critique, but I don't feel like I've exceeded the levels of technology we see in games like MGS. If players can invest faith in an alternate timeline where we're going to see Cyborg Ninja Raiden in a few years, then my story isn't too over the top, either. :P
Awesome work!
Massive feels when the ponies saw her injuries...
But Rarity will still be able to make her beautiful; I know it. With Euphoria as a model, the fashionista will bring back the old-time glitz, glamour, and razzle-dazzle; Rarity will make Euphoria even more beautiful than she already is, and it'll drive poor Samuel nuts / to sheer distraction!
Unicorn healers should at least be able to remove or smooth away her terrible scarring and broken horn, though. No miracle cure for her disabilities as they make her unique, but just smoothing off what's already there, healing her physical scars so she looks like an Earth Pony.
That might give poor Euphoria some closure; another 'chapter' in her life finally put to rest.
2299691 Well, I'm talking about rational numbers. The numbers i used is for the peaks of that age. Then there is something inbetween each age. After Quantum bots, Super advanced technology, Earth will probably lay in ruins. Because there is no limit for mankinds stupidity
2300278 Hai! XD We sure seem to find eachother frequently.
There's a very fine line that's often distorted between pity and care.
Never pity or show remorse, because those who want it are pathetic. and those who need it don't want it
Just be .... nice
put a comedy tag i am laughing in the fist chapter lol
As far as Applejack's accent goes, you write it super thick. Almost all of your readers are familiar with her character, and just by pointing it out as a "southern accent" the rest of them will get it. I'd suggest toning it down a bit, but we probably won't see Applejack again for a while anyway.
On another note, I love your story. I wish you updated more, but that's what I get for liking a WiP story...
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I occasionally re-edit my old chapters, mainly looking for little details that bug me, like typos, poor punctuation or too lengthy paragraphs. It's no problem for me to tone down her accent. Thank you for the comment.
As for updating more often, I think I keep a fairly busy schedule on the story, updating a couple of times a week. Honestly, the only reason why this story doesn't update daily is because my friends occasionally invite me over. Otherwise I wouldn't get out period.
I'm sure Euphoria's going to get her own Frame; SAM just needs the resources to build it! Or something like this...
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/222/5/e/rainbow_dash_nanosuit_by_hereticofdune-d4650x9.jpg
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LOL I'd thought about it, but I like her better just wearing the eye piece. Like a MGS4 Solid Eye.
2309912 Ah, cool. It's just, she seems like such a tech / gear-head pony, what with doing all this amazing stuff for Samuel and being interested in SAM. You will modify the Visor she's wearing into her own set of custom Blast/Welding Goggles, though (as Samuel thinks she looks cute wearing them)!
If you can make complex repairs to an advanced exo-suit, shouldn't you be capable of making bullets?
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He can, but mostly he's busy keeping the Pegasus Frame in good repair, and also as noted, he prefers nonlethal weapons. The only thing he's actually killed in Equestria is a psychotic dragon. He's even turned vegetarian because the cows talk. Making bullets would just give the ponies dangerous ideas if they caught him doing it. Twilight's the only other pony who even suspects the lethal nature of the rifle.
Basically, he's being careful about exposing the ponies to the recipe for gunpowder. Although AJ would probably look awesome with a Winchester rifle.
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It would be more trouble than it's worth to combine the visor with a set of blast goggles just for Euphoria. He doesn't possess the machinery to make that kind of hardware. So for now he can just detach a piece of it and let Euphoria carry it. That leaves his eye exposed and the helmet doesn't make an airtight seal in that condition.
2310691 Well, he still has a baddass halberd. By the way, is this a like a plus 12 Halberd or something? Still got nothing on Unsycthe.
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LOL it probably varies. If he's avenging something for great justice, the Halberd is like +5, but if he's just using it as an ordinary weapon against creatures that haven't done anything to be avenged, then it might not even release any mojo at all. Twilight could lecture him on it for hours, but then he would be,
A - Not out avenging/discovering stuff, and
B - Talking about Unicorn magic might make Euphoria sad if she's in the room. Anyway, he's happy knowing the Halberd is what it is.
2310788 Ah, true. If it was +12 he'd be able to kill things just by making them look at it. I was also kinda hoping you'd picked up on my MTG reference since you assumingly play D&D. (Not saying that one has to play both, just hoping you'd happen to.)
Thanks for this chapter. It made me re-think about technology.
ur story.
God i need to use more advanced terms language more akdfgshdhgieicnensocne..... Just more high tech stuff in MY story.