Twilight's Answering Machine 6

All of the following are recordings from the answering machine and are voice only.

Twilight Sparkle:  We’re not here. You know the drill.

(beep)

Strong Bad: Wait, you’re not Marzipan! Who is this? You mean there’s actually someone else who has an answering machine? Well that’s a load of crap. Although you sound pretty hot. Mmm yeah, hey there, baby. Wanna go out with the one and only Strong Bad? I mean, it’s not like you’re a purple horse or anything. Just shoot me an email the next time you’re on your computer. I’m going to guess you have computers or something at your place.

(beep)

Snails: Der, hey Spike. It’s your pal Snails…we’re pals, right? Anyway, me and Snips were wondering…are girl dragons hot? I mean, we’ve never seen much dragons around, and the only other ones beside you  want to, ya’ know, eat us. But yeah, do you know if girl dragons are worth dating? Like, how does your mom look? …Do you even have a mom? You never really told us about your parents. Hmmm, Spike’s mom, hot or not?

(beep)

Pinkie Pie: Hey Twilight! It’s your ol’ pal Pinkie Pie! Well, you’ll be happy to know that Mr. and Mrs. Cake has kissed and made up after that big fight the other day. No, I mean, they really kissed, like it didn’t matter I was in front of them or anything, and I think they did some other stuff, too, but I got bored and left by then. Anyway, they’re going on their second honeymoon next week and are leaving me with the twins. Now, I may have said that I can manage with the two, and I really love playing with them, buuuuut (panicking voice) PLEASE COME AND HELP ME! I mean, I managed to get used to babysitting them every other day, but a WHOLE WEEK!? That’s, like, TEN every other days! And Pound Cake is really getting strong, too. This one time, he grabbed me by the tail, flew over the window, and dropped me to the ground! It was funny the first 10 or 12 times, but now it hurts like I bit a large jawbreaker and cracked my teeth! They don’t call ‘em jawbreakers for nothing, Twilight! So, uh, drop by and help me or something. You’re magical. You should be okay!

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: Hey Twilight. Thanks for letting me borrow those Darring Doo books again. It’s freakin’ awesome! Anyway, I was wondering if there’s gonna be one more book coming out. Seriously, there’s gotta be more to tell to the most awesomest, made-up Pegasus in the world! There’s no way they’re going to run out of ideas. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to this whole space alien thing, with Darring surviving a nuclear blast by hiding inside some, say…oh, a refrigerator. (pause) Actually that sounds awesome. So, yeah, will there be more eventually?

(beep)

Snips: Okay, Spike. What is all this I hear about your hot mom!? I didn’t know you even had a mom in the first place! I always thought you just appeared…out of nowhere…one day. I mean, c’mon, bro! You’re not being fair, keeping your hot mom away from me! You never said anything about your parents, so tell us about them! Specifically, your hot mom.

(beep)

Insane Hospital Pony: BARK BARK BARK BARK AWOOooooooo! WOOF WOOF WOOF!

Doctor: Hey! I thought I told you to go back to your room!

(sound of Insane Pony galloping away)

(beep)

Ahuitzotl: CURSE YOU, PONY! You may have gotten away with the Sapphire Stone, but I, Ahuitzotl, will be back! Oh yes, mark my word! I will have my vengeance!...This is Darring Doo, right? If not, please disregard this message.

(beep)

Homestar Runner: Whoa, Marzipan! What happened to your voice? I mean, you sound different. Like, did you turn yourself into a talking, purple unicorn or something? Because that’s great! I always wanted a unicorn girlfriend for me to break up with! Man, it’s nice for something to finally happen! It’s like we’ve been dormant for more than a year.

(beep)

Diamond Tiara: Like, hi or whatever, Spike. It’s me, Diamond Tiara. So me and Silver Spoon were going through the latest fashion catalog and saw that a gown made from dragon scales are, like, totally in this year. So we were wondering if you can help us acquire them or whatever. Namely just so I can make those blank flanks jealous. And I hear your mother is pretty. Maybe she can donate her skin or something? She’s probably huge, since she’s a dragon and all. It’s only gonna be, what, a small but huge scar to work on the dress? I’m sure that’s no big deal.

(beep)

END OF PART 6