• Published 30th Jan 2012
  • 11,782 Views, 292 Comments

Ponies One Half - Emma Iveli



Thanks to a teleportation accident, Twilight and her friends are stuck in another universe, not only that but the first thing that happens to them is that they get cursed. And that's least weird thing that happens to them.

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School is Insane

Chapter 3: School is Insane

Akane woke up and stretched.

Maybe the day before had all been a dream, she thought. Maybe the day before was just something crazy my subconscious came up with. Maybe I ate something weird... After all, alternate universes with talking, magical ponies and men changing into women? That's insane, Akane convinced herself.

“Is that all you have, Ranma?” came Rainbow Dash’s voice from above.

“No way!” responded Ranma.

“They’re fighting on the roof?” wondered Akane with a large sweat drop.

She sighed and decided to get ready for school. She brushed her long dark blue hair and tied it into a low ponytail and put on her school uniform as Kasumi called from downstairs.

"Akane! Breakfast!" she heard her sister say.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

She went down the living room which was filled with many different foods. Considering how many guests they had, it made sense.

“Morning, sugar cube,” greeted Applejack.

“Good morning!” greeted Pinkie Pie.

Akane sighed and replied, “Morning.”

That was when Ranma and Ran entered the room.

Akane put her hands in the time-out position, then said, “So wait… you were human when you were jumping around on the roof?”

“It’s so she doesn’t cheat…" explained Ranma. "Or accidently kill me.”

“Accidently kill you?”

Ran smirked as she sat down. “Trust me… you haven’t seen a Sonic Rainboom yet.”

“I was wondering... Were you a martial artist before you came here?”

“Yeah, I was a black belt.”

How can a pony learn martial arts, let alone master it? wondered Akane with a sweat drop.

Just then, Fluttershy came into the room with a worried face. “I haven’t seen Ryoga anywhere,” she said.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Meanwhile with Ryoga, somewhere far away…

“Excuse me… I’m looking for the Tendo Dojo?” he asked as he gave a passerby the address.

“That’s in Tokyo, this is Osaka,” the passerby answered.

“Thanks, anyway.” Said Ryoga.

That was when he heard people taking pictures of him. He didn’t know why they were doing that, so he shrugged and headed in a random direction, hoping that would take him to Tokyo.

Turns out, he was headed south…definitely not leading to Tokyo.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was somewhere in Kansai," said Ranma.

Just then, Hikaru and Rarity entered the room.

“Why are you in human form?” Akane asked the former, who didn’t seem irritated.

“I had to analyze the Jusenkyo water," explained Hikaru, "For some reason, it’s easier in human form. I’m guessing it has to do with the magic involving my curse.”

“I see.”

Just as Nabiki came downstairs, Kasumi and Shampoo entered with the rest of the breakfast.

“Wow, breakfast looks good,” remarked Nabiki.

“You can also thank Shampoo,” Said Kasumi, “She did half the work.”

“It hard to cook for them,” said Shampoo as she indicated Pinkie, who ate her food in one gulp.

“What?” Pinkie then asked as she noticed the stares.

“She’s the reason why it’s so hard, isn’t it?” asked Nabiki. Shampoo didn’t answer, which Nabiki assumed was a "yes".

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

After breakfast, Cologne and Genma came into the room. Both of them had looks on their face that somehow meant that something horrible has happened.

“There’s something Genma and I agreed on,” Cologne spoke up.

There was an awkward silence. How awkward? So awkward even people outside somehow felt the tension emanate from the house.

“You agreed on something?” asked Ranma in shock.

“Please tell me this is just a joke,” Rainbow Dash laughed nervously.

“Cologne and I agreed that…we should send you all to school,” answered Genma.

“This no ploy to get us out of house is it?” asked Shampoo.

“No… no… It’s not a ploy at all! Not one bit!” He then thought, Darn it… She guessed my plan!

Indeed, for Genma, it was a ploy to get them out of the house, and everyone could see through his lie. For Cologne however, she had a different and far better reason.

“I believe this might be good for you." she said, then turned to the ponies. "Sure, you can leave the house in human form, but I know you might spend days on end here.”

“Yeah!” agreed Pinkie, “I mean, the writer of this story knows about it all too well.”

They all looked at Pinkie, then decided to ignore her fourth wall-breaking moment and returned to the topic at hand.

“Besides, I think it might be a good learning experience for you,” explained Cologne.

“A learning experience?” echoed Hikaru with a big grin on her face. The other ponies groaned. This was just what they needed; Twilight having a learning experience. Chances were high that this wasn’t going to end well. “You can count on me!”

Cologne turned to the others. “What about the rest of you?”

“Please!" Hikaru turned to her friends. "I don’t wanna go without you guys!” Her eyes sparkled with pity, and her expression would make you feel guilty if you refused. Her friends had no choice but to accept.

"I figured," said Cologne. "I already have your supplies ready."

"Get dressed," said Akane. "I'll show you the way there..."

And that is how they all agreed to go to Furinkan high. Of course, the ponies would go in their human forms.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cologne had gotten them basic supplies like books, pens, paper, bags. However, uniforms weren't an issue as the school was apparently pretty lenient when it came to transfer students and school uniforms.

As the girls and Ranma walked to school, Akane wondered something and said, “Doesn't anyone else find it strange that you're already enrolled... despite being here only ONE DAY?”

Alex snickered at that, which earned her a stare from Akane. "Sorry…reminded me of something back home," she explained.

“Shampoo think Great grandmother did something in advance.” suggested Shampoo.

“Wouldn’t surprise me.”

As they passed by a house, Ranma was accidentally splashed by an old woman blessing her walkway.

“Great!” complained Ranma-Chan, “I hope this doesn’t happen throughout the day.”

"Don't jinx yourself, Ranma!" said Belle.

“I know of a place where we can get hot water,” said Akane, who had an ulterior motive to see someone. That was when Hikaru got out a thermos from her bag and tossed it to Ranma-Chan. “What?”

“I have several thermos bottles in my bag filled with hot water in case Ranma changes in the day,” explained Hikaru.

“One of her special talents is super organizational skills,” said Ranma.

“I told you that’s not one of my special talents.”

“Oh yeah, it’s magic.” Said Ranma laughing nervously.

“Special talents?” asked Akane.

“I guess we should explain,” said Belle.

“You know those marks that are on our flanks?” asked Momo.

Akane nodded, also knowing that Rarity had integrated into their clothes.

“Their called cutie marks,” explained Hikaru, “Those are our cutie marks. They represent what we're best at, our special talent. The thing that makes us unique, in other words.”

“Alex’s younger sister as well as mine are obsessed with finding theirs,” said Belle.

"That's putting it mildly," remarked Ran.

Akane didn’t know why, but this conversation put her at ease. Perhaps getting to know them a little more made her feel better about living with talking ponies.

However this made her almost forget about something. “So… how did…” Just before she could finish her question, she saw that they were almost at school and cut herself off, “Go on ahead.”

“What?” asked Hikaru.

“Go on ahead before they see me.”

"Why...." Ranma wanted to know.

That was when they heard a loud cheer and saw a mob of boys dressed in various sports uniforms.

“Akane!" yelled one. "Go out on a date with me!”

“I love you, Akane!” yelled another.

“You are so cute!” yelled a third.

“I will finally defeat you!” yelled a fourth.

Akane sighed, “Hold on to my bag.” She then tossed it to Chiyo, then ran into the mob…and beating them up with ease. The mob's chances of winning were surprisingly slim. As the rest got into the school grounds, they couldn't help but watch how Akane was winning so easily.

“Is this normal for a school here?” wondered Hikaru.

“No!" replied Ranma. "I've never see anything like this!”

“Hey!” a familiar voice came. They turned to see Nabiki yell from a balcony. “Don’t worry about Akane. She does this everyday!”

And Akane was done in less than a minute. Apparently, Nabiki was right. She really did this on a daily basis and has gotten so used to it that it was almost natural.

To the extent that people watched it like it was a show.

"I knew it was going to rain today," said the otaku boy, the very same one who had seen the fight between Panda Genma and the four girls (Ranma-Chan, Shampoo, Ran, and Alex).

"Didn't say it was going to rain men, though!" replied a girl next to him. The two of them then snickered from the little joke she made.

“What… what was that about?” asked Ran.

“I’ll explain later," said Akane. "I still have one more to handle. Just go to class. Otherwise, you’re going to be marked tardy.”

“Tardy?” gasped Hikaru. The five ponies-turned-humans groaned. Akane just HAD to say to say that word. “I’ll meet you inside!” And with that, she ran into the school building in a speed matching Ran's , leaving behind a trail of dust, and leaving everyone else with a sweat drop on their heads.

“You couldn’t have said 'late', could you?” asked Belle.

“What’s wrong with the word tardy?” asked Akane.

“It’s a long story, sugar cube,” sighed Alex.

“Such a boorish lot,” a voice came. Everyone turned to see a tall, young man dressed in kendo robes, a rose and a wooden sword in his hands. “All of them wish to ask you out on a date and once they defeat you.” He tossed his rose at Akane, who caught it without missing a beat, then crushed it. Belle sighed as she massaged an oncoming headache.

“What wrong?” asked Shampoo.

“Sorry, its just that he’s reminding me of Prince Blueblood right now,” explained Belle.

Oh…this idiot reminds her of that prince she met at that Gala, thought the Chinese girl, having been told that some time before.

“Stay out of this,” said Akane to the group.

“Wait!" said Ranma. "You’re going to fight him?”

“I do it everyday.” Akane cracked her knuckles, ready for a fight.

The tall man then pointed his sword at Ranma. “You there,” he declared. “Who are you and why do you seem so familiar with Akane?”

“Akane… do you want to tell him or should I?” asked Ranma.

“It is proper etiquette to give ones names first boor... Very well, then. I will speak first.”

“He’s a few apples short of a bushel, isn’t he?” asked Alex as she performed the universal "he's crazy" signal, also known as the cuckoo finger spin.

“You have no idea,” mumbled Akane.

“I am upperclassman Tatewaki Kuno, age 17,” the young man introduced himself, “I am the captain of the Kendo Team and the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High.” Lightning seemed to strike right when he said that as if the sky itself was punctuating it.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

On the balcony with Nabiki and her friends…

“Blue Thunder?” one of them asked.

“News to me,” said Nabiki.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Back on ground floor…

“I’m Ranma Saotome and I’m staying at the Tendo Dojo.”

“You dare stay in the same house as Akane?!” yelled Kuno. He then swiped his sword at Ranma, who dodged the attack.

“All right I accept your challenge!” said Ranma, he tossed his bag at Momo who managed to catch it.

“Wait!” warned Akane, “He’s very strong.”

“Akane, Ranma defeat me,” reminded Shampoo, “Crazy kendo man no problem.”

“Excuse me?" asked Kuno, clearly insulted. "What did you just call me?”

“Ignore her,” said Ranma, “She’ll just beat you up.”

What an arrogant girl... she does not deserve to ravish me! thought Kuno.

Kuno glared at Ranma, then tried to swipe at him with his sword, but the pigtailed boy dodged the attack. However, Kuno managed to slice the wall behind Ranma.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

“Ranma, you know it’s about to rain any second,” warned Belle, “Can you please finish this up soon?”

“There’s nothing stopping you from staying,” pointed out Alex.

Belle just huffed and continued to watch the fight. I hate to say it… but this idiot deserves this!

“Oh boy! This is going to be such an exciting fight,” said Momo, having gotten out popcorn (out of nowhere as usual).

“Isn’t it a little early for popcorn?” asked Akane with a sweat drop. Momo just shrugged and continued to eat.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

“I don’t know what business you have with Akane, but I won’t stand for it!” yelled Kuno.

Ranma got into his face and yelled back, “I haven’t gotten a chance to know her beyond the fact she hates men and is a decent martial artist! Why is it your business is about mine?!”

Akane was speechless from what Ranma did. He just appeared in front of Kuno like it was nothing. After Kuno tried another attack, Ranma jumped into the air and both were about to do their final moves… with Ranma touching Kuno’s forehead, and latter’s sword at the former's neck.

It then began to rain. As Ranma wanted to keep his gender changing a secret, this was a bad thing.

Ran sighed and said, “Looks like I have to do my thing!”

She ran to Ranma, grabbed him just when he changed, and sipped out of sight, leaving behind only a rainbow streak for the crowd that had gathered to watched in confusion.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

In the school gym's equipment shed, Ran was taking a deep breath, looking very exhausted from what she just pulled off.

“Thanks,” said Ranma with an empty thermos in his hands.

“No problem,” replied Ran.

“You okay?”

“I'm fine.” Ran then gave a thumbs-up, something she learned from Ranma (and have seen Spike and her old friend Gilda do a few times). “Just need a minute. It still takes a lot of me.”

That was when their friends (sans Hikaru) ran in.

“How did you find us?” asked Ranma.

“We followed the rainbow trail,” said Momo.

“She left a rainbow,” mumbled Akane, who was clearly weirded out by what happened. She then turned to Ran. “How did you do that?”

“Just something Cologne suggested I use when I’m human.”

Akane then turned to Ranma. “By the way, don’t fight him again.”

“Why?”

“You have a bruise on your neck,” pointed out Momo.

“What?” Belle held up a mirror so he could see it.

“You have to be careful next time,” warned Akane.

“I’d say we’re evenly matched,” Ranma chuckled.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

In one 2nd year classroom, Kuno held a hand mirror. He stared at the strange bruise written into his head. Somehow, Ranma had managed to write the phrase....

“Nut job”

“So you don’t remember being touched?” asked Nabiki, who shared the same class.

“No.”

Nabiki didn’t know whether she should be impressed with Ranma or laugh at the fact Kuno would have that on his forehead for quite a while.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Downstairs in one of the first year classes, the class was getting a special announcement.

“We have eight new students joining the class,” said the teacher.

Just then, a hand was raised. A girl then stood up. “I have a question. Why are we getting eight new students? Isn’t that a little strange?”

“I don’t know, I just do what the Vice Principal tells me to do.” May the Principal come back only after I retire, he mentally added. “We have Hikaru Hakumei.”

“It’s nice you meet you,” said Hikaru, with quite a few of the boys blushing as she did.

“Momo Mochi.”

“It’s so exciting to be here! Maybe I can…” The teacher cleared his throat as if to tell Momo to please stop. Most of the boys in the class drooled at Momo and her… um… special talent.

“Chiyo Onbin.”

“Hello…” whispered Chiyo.

A few of the boys inwardly squeed, “So Moe!”

“Ran Issanni.”

“What’s up?” asked Ran. The class looked at her hair, wondering if it was natural or if she dyed it.

“Ranma Saotome.”

“Hey,” said Ranma as he gave a nod. It was the girls' turn to swoon. They especially liked his muscles.

“Shampoo, who is from China.”

“Shampoo’s Japanese not so good,” said Shampoo. Many of the boys couldn’t help but stare; after all, Shampoo was very beautiful.

“Belle Perle from France.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” said Belle. Most of the students stared at her, as if thinking she was going to be a snob. Little did they know that they were far from the truth.

“And Alex Jackson, who is from America.”

“Just call me A.J.” said Alex nervously.

The entire class stared at her hat, most of them thinking, Oh great, she’s probably one of those Americans.

“Now does anyone have any questions?” asked the teacher.

“I do!” said one boy with brown hair and glasses. It was the otaku boy. “Judging by your appearances and mannerisms, you’re a beautiful French girl, a rough-and-tumble American cowgirl, a tomboy, a genki girl, a sexy Chinese girl, a genius, and a shy Moe girl… Can I make a dating sim based on you seven?” The entire class sweat dropped. Then again, he was the class otaku, so it wasn’t unexpected. “Never mind… I just realized it’s missing a tsundere. I wouldn’t be able to see it without one. Plus, I’m unsure what kind of hero we can have. Oh well, back to the drawing board.”

“Now then…” said the teacher, “With the exception of Ms. Hakumei, all of you and Ms. Tendo are late. Please stand in the hall.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

And that's what they did. And it wouldn’t have been so bad if they didn’t have to hold buckets were filled with water.

“Isn’t this supposed to be illegal?” asked Ranma.

“I can’t believe Twilight,” mumbled Akane, who seemed to be angry.

“Well, you did say 'tardy' and that did throw into a fuss,” Alex told her.

“Is this about the time she brainwashed half the town into loving that old doll?” asked Ranma.

“What?” asked Akane.

“Don’t ask…” said Ran.

“So…” Momo decided to change the subject, “Why are those guys going after you?”

“It all started shortly after school began,” explained Akane, "Kuno saw me and made a declaration shortly after..."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-Flashback-

“Whoever wants to date Akane must defeat her in combat," said Kuno to an entire class of boys. "So says Tatewaki Kuno.”

The boys instantly believed what he said, unaware that Akane had no part of this.

-End Flashback-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Everyone gasped at the story, feeling there was just something wrong with that.

“So they just listened to him and not you?” asked Alex.

“I keep winning for some reason,” replied Akane.

“Some guys will go easy on girls,” said Ranma, earning a glare from Akane, causing him to sweat a little.

“Don’t worry darling," assured Belle. "We’ll help you with this problem.”

“I know a way to distract them,” said Momo, “Actually several ways… no wait… a million ways!”

Akane tried not to smile… but was failing.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

At the floor above them, Kuno and Nabiki talked in class about…well…

“What do you mean fiancé?” asked Kuno.

“That’s right, our fathers agreed to it,” whispered Nabiki.

“I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!”

“Mr. Kuno, stand outside,” ordered the teacher.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Back outside the first year classroom, Ranma and the others continued talking. Well, sort of…

“Then I was like, 'Oatmeal, are you crazy?!'” Momo rambled.

“What is she talking about?” asked Akane.

“Best you tune her out, sugar cube,” advised Alex.

“Hey, Fluttershy. You okay?” asked Ran, noticing that the poor pink haired girl was straining under the pressure of the heavy buckets.

“I’m fine,” whispered Chiyo.

That's when someone tried to splash Ranma. However, he managed to get out the way in time. Everyone turned to see that the culprit was Kuno.

“What was that for?” asked Ranma.

“I will never accept your engagement to Akane!” yelled Kuno, his wooden sword on the ready.

That was when the windows of the classroom opened up and almost the entire class peeped through.

“Is that for real?” asked a girl.

“You’re engaged to him?” asked a boy to Akane.

“He IS kinda cute.”

“Thank you, oh gods of dating sims!" said the otaku boy as he bowed his head. "I have a hero and a tsundere!”

“Shouldn’t we be learning things?” asked Hikaru, the only one still sitting at her desk.

Kuno tried to slice one of the buckets Ranma was holding, but he dodged so that the water wouldn’t hit. "Fight me!” yelled Kuno.

“This is no place to fight!” said Ranma, “Follow me!”

“Does anyone else have a feeling that this is going to get really stupid?” asked Ran to no one in particular. She received a nod from her friends.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Ranma led Kuno away from the classrooms… and the entire class followed the fight, including Hikaru. He then decided the best thing to do was to jump out a window. Akane was about to say something, but the studious indigo-haired girl beat her to it.

“Ranma!" Hikaru yelled. "That wasn’t the best place to jump out a window!”

Ranma looked down…to see the school pool. He couldn't help but utter a phrase he picked up from the ponies. “Oh, horse apples,” he mumbled. And with that, he and Kuno fell into the pool with a mighty splash.