Cheaters Never Win
Chapter 16: Cheaters Never Win
Ryoga came to the realization that Kodachi Kuno was insane, even more insane than her brother. And remember that Kuno was convinced that eight girls were not only in love with him, but often fought each other over his affection. So, that meant she was really off the deep end.
He knew what he had to do; he decided to run over to Kodachi and, upon reaching her, tackled her with enough force to knock her down.
<><><><><><><>
At the announcers' booth…
“Is a pig a suitable weapon?” asked Hana.
The judges debated for a while before agreeing that, yes, the pig is a suitable weapon.
“How do you cheat in this fight?” Momo asked.
“Well I think deadly force is the thing. Which is something Kodachi seems to be using.”
“Oh, okay.”
<><><><><><><><>
Back in the ring…
Akane tossed Belle a pair of clubs, while Kodachi got up from the pig tackle delivered to her by Piggy Ryoga.
“Time to see the secret technique of the Black Rose," called out Kodachi. "Barrage of a Thousand Clubs!" And she began to move so fast it looked like she was indeed holding a lot of clubs, though not necessarily a thousand.
"Lame attack name!", one of the spectators called out, out of Kodachi's reach in case she attempted to retaliate.
“Rarity, catch!” Ranma called out as he tossed her a ball, which she threw at Kodachi's arms, revealing that she was using twenty clubs. And not a thousand.
"Hah! I knew it!", called out the spectator from earlier.
“Would that be considered cheating?” asked Ran.
“I think so,” answered Akane.
“This is only the beginning!” Kodachi warned, “The essence of Anything Goes Martial Rhythmic Gymnastics is to make anything a weapon.” She then took out her ribbon and used it to grab the match bell.
However, Belle blocked it using the chain attached to her arm.
Kodachi smirked, remembering hearing that her brother had feelings for Belle and had the perfect weapon. With that in mind, she used her ribbon to grab her own brother from the audience.
“Come into my arms Belle!”, yelled Kuno. “I will protect you from my sister!”
“Valid!” called out the judges.
<><><><><><>
At the announcers' booth…
“Using a brother is valid,” said Hana, “I can’t believe I just said that.”
“I bet it was fun to say,” Momo replied.
<><><><><><><><>
Back onstage…
Piggy Ryoga tackled Kuno away, who called out, “How dare you, pig!” And the two started fighting.
<><><><><><><><>
In the crowd, the otaku boy took out something from his pocket.
“What are you doing?” asked the otaku girl.
“Just setting the mood,” her friend replied as he took out his iPod and it began to play Pokémon battle music.
<><><><><><><><>
Onstage…
Kuno used Sword Attack!
Kuno's attack missed!
Piggy Ryoga used Tackle!
It's super effective!
Sure, it’s a Normal-type move, and Normal-type moves don't normally have any advantages but Piggy Ryoga put all of his strength into it. That and Kuno's type happened to be an extinct one that was vulnerable to Normal-types. Or Piggy Ryoga has an ability that makes his move a Fighting-type move.
<><><><><><><>
Back at wherever they sat, Belle’s entourage watched all this unfold.
“This is just weird…” remarked Hikaru.
At the announcers' booth, Momo called out, “Hey, Rarity! Do you think can say “Pokabu! Use Tackle”?” (That’s Tepig for you Americans).
At the stage, both Belle and Piggy Ryoga sweat dropped when she said that. “This is getting ridiculous.”, the former mumbled as she grabbed Kuno with her ribbon, then tossed him out the ring.
“Aww…” most of the audience moaned.
“You’re no fun!” yelled the otaku boy as he put away his iPod.
“I can’t believe they were enjoying this,” Belle mumbled.
Piggy Ryoga shrugged. Can't blame them. Even I played Pokémon as a kid.
That was when Kodachi decided to use the announcers' table.
“Hey! We’re using that!” yelled Momo, as the announcers got out of the way.
Belle dodged that one, and Kodachi proceeded to grab whatever she can.
“It appears that Belle will only use the items that are strictly used for Rhythmic Gymnastics… and the pig that’s attached to her wrist,” remarked Hana, “While Kodachi is using anything she can get her hands on! Will Belle win against these tactics?”
“I’m trying to figure out what would be not valid…” said Momo, “Would a steamroller be considered valid?”
“I don’t know…”
“What about a giant tanuki statue?”
“What… maybe…”
“What about a giant pink bunny toy?”
“Possibly…”
“What about a Chinese fighting muffin?”
“Huh?!”
“A Struggle Bat?”
“W-w-what?”
“A Polybius?”
“Where did that even come from?”
“SCP-388?”
“You’re just randomly saying items, aren’t you?”
<><><><><><><><>
As Belle continued to dodge the random items, Panda Genma showed up with some tea and a kettle of hot water.
“Pops, what are you doing here?” asked Ranma.
“Isn’t it obvious?” signed Panda Genma, “Watching that brat get her ass handed to her.” Knowing he wasn't talking about Kodachi, Ranma grabbed the sign and smacked his dad’s head with it. “Ow!”
Back on the stage, Kodachi saw the kettle of hot water and used her ribbon to grab it. “Even a cockroach knows to stay away from boiling water,” she taunted.
“Uh-oh,” mumbled everypony-turned-human. Piggy Ryoga looked scared too.
Kodachi tried to pour some on Belle but missed.
<><><><><><><>
At the announcers' booth…
Even without the table, which had been used by Kodachi, Hana and Momo carried on.
“This fight is now getting ridiculous…” said the former. “I have announced many Anything Goes Rhythmic Gymnastics matches, but this is just…”
“What do you mean?” her co-announcer asked.
“While I have seen Kodachi use deadly force before, her using extraordinary hot water makes her look like she'd running out of ideas. Sure, it will hurt and will cause burns… but it just seems petty, even for her.”
“Hmm… So I guess she hasn’t used a sword yet?”
“Ix-nay on the ord-sway.” Whispered Hana, “It will give her ideas.”
<><><><><><><><><>
Back in the ring…
Kodachi gritted her teeth in frustration, then did something else. She tossed the kettle, then sliced it in half, spilling its water right on both Belle and Piggy Ryoga, reverting them to their true forms…which thankfully weren't visible (save for silhouettes) thanks to the steam also produced.
“That’s weird,” Hana said from the announcers' booth. “It appears that the shapes in the steam appears to be a man and some kind… of animal…”
“That’s impossible!”, lied Momo. “I don’t think that one of them turned into a unicorn and the other turned into a guy.”
“That’s… oddly specific.”
Thankfully, thanks to Rarity's magic, the steam continued to shroud them.
“Please don’t let them see me,” mumbled Ryoga.
“I don’t know how long I can hold this.”
Thankfully for them, Hikaru was already unscrewing a thermos of water normally meant for Ranma. She then proceeded to use a heat extraction spell, then levitated the now-cold water, splashing both of them.
While most of the crowd didn’t see her using magic, there were three that not only did, but recognized it as such.
One of them was the boy who saw her use magic during the Ryoga VS. Kuno fight.
The other was a girl with light blue hair and dark blue eyes wearing the Saint Bacchus’ uniform.
“She just used magic…” said the girl, “Who is she?”
The boy looked like he was going to panic and answered, “Her name is Hikaru Hakumei… she’s a recent transfer student.”
“I see… Watch her and see if she’s able to use any more magic.”
“Okay…”
<><><><><><><>
“Hmm… so you’re able to still fight.” Kodachi commented.
“Oh… no…” whispered Belle as she looked at her hair, which was now messed up thanks to the water, “How dare you!”
“How dare I what?” Kodachi asked, staring at her opponent.
“I spent nearly an hour getting my hair just right so that it would survive this fight. And now you ruined it!”
Nearly everyone in the gymnasium face palmed. Hana was right; this fight was getting stupid.
“I wonder if Kodachi is going to grab on to Rarity’s hair, forcing her to cut it off to get away?” wondered Momo at the announcers' booth.
Hana slowly turned to her with a sweat drop on her head. “You’re an otaku, aren’t you?”
“How did you know?”
Hana just stared at her co-announcer and shook her head, “Just… never mind…”
<><><><><><><>
Back in the ring…
“I thought you were getting better,” mocked Kodachi, “But I see where you really stand.” She then took out her razor hoop and tossed it at Belle, who evaded the attack. As for Piggy Ryoga however, he grabbed the hoop and tossed it back at Kodachi, who swerved out of its path as it cut the ropes. “You got lucky because of that pig.” She then took out her ribbon, while Piggy Ryoga grabbed Belle's and countered with it. “The random pig I chained to her knows how to wield a ribbon. How is that possible?”
Belle could only sweat drop at the sight.
“Sugar cube… this ain't the time to be focused on your hair,” mumbled Alex.
“But…”
“You’re the one who volunteered for this,” Akane reminded. “If I was there I wouldn’t be worrying about my hair.” Belle was about to say something, but was cut off. “And don’t say anything about my haircut.” Belle immediately went quiet.
“Just focus on beating her,” muttered Ran.
“Fine.”
Meanwhile, Kodachi was getting tired of Piggy Ryoga’s abilities and just grabbed the chain so she could throw him at Belle. Just as she hurled him, he was able to change direction mid-throw, resulting in Kodachi missing. “I chose the wrong pig.”
Somehow, she had forgotten that she found him completely by chance. She then looked at Panda Genma, smirked, and used her ribbon to grab him.
“Hey! What are you doing?” signed Panda Genma.
<><><><><><><><><>
At the announcers' booth…
“Are pandas a legitimate weapon?” asked Hana. The judges agreed that he is.
“As long as the Chinese government doesn’t find out,” added one of them.
Unfortunately for them, one of their officials was among the audience. Fortunately, he was incompetent and wouldn't remember this.
<><><><><><><>
Back on the stage…
Kodachi attempted to throw Panda Genma at Belle, only for her to grab him with her own ribbon and slam him into the floor where he sat earlier.
“Who throws pandas?” signed Panda Genma.
“You kind of deserved it pops,” Ranma told him.
<><><><><><><>
At the announcers' booth…
“This sentence might sound weird, but that was one ugly panda,” said Hana.
“And he was a big jerk face,” added Momo.
“How do you know that about the panda? He’s a panda.”
“That’s classified.” Momo then gave a cute little wink.
Hana could only respond with a sweat drop.
<><><><><><><><><>
Back on the stage…
“That was good,” commended Kodachi, “But not good enough!” She grabbed one of her spiked clubs, but Belle managed to grab the cheating bastard by the ankle with her ribbon and threw her into the air. Kodachi was sure to land outside the ring.
“Looks like Belle Perle has won!” Hana called out from the announcers' booth.
“Come on and land!” cheered Momo.
However…
Kodachi gave a devious smirk. “I’m unable to land outside the ring.” She gave out a whistle, and the ring began to move so that she would land gracefully onto it.
<><><><><><><>
“Okay that is definitely cheating,” muttered Alex.
“Who's up for going inside and seeing what’s going on?” suggested Ran.
Alex, Akane and Shampoo all agreed.
<><><><><><><><>
Under the ring…
The rest of the gymnastics team sighed, hoping that this would be the last time they'd be needed. One of them turned to the girl next to her and asked, “Seriously...you would go out on a date with Ataru Moroboshi if he asked?”
“I’m not picky. Sure, he's a pervert… who’s in a rather strange relationship with an alien… but hey, I’m sure he would be a good date.”
Just then, they saw four girls enter; one blonde, one blunette, one purple-head, and one polychromatic-haired, all in approximately the same age group.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” said Ran as she cracked her knuckles.
“Oh no! It’s the bodyguards!” yelled of the girls.
“Run!” screamed one of them. All but four left under the ring.
“We are the dangerous four!”, declared one of these four, “We are the top four below Kodachi. You have no hope in defeating us even without Rhythmic Gymnastics.”
<><><><><><><><>
Outside, everyone watched as the member of the gymnastics team all exited the gymnasium.
“You cowards!” yelled Kodachi, then turned to Belle, “I’m sure your friends in there are facing off against the four. Their skills are unmatched, except by myself that is.”
“So they don’t use deadly tactics?” asked Belle.
Kodachi gritted her teeth at that remark.
“Oh snap!” yelled Momo in response to that at the announcers' booth. Almost everyone in the gymnasium groaned at that.
<><><><><><><>
Below the stage, four fights erupted.
Shampoo was wrapped up in ropes by her opponent, who then shouted, “Time to finish this!” However, the Chinese girl managed to get herself free, undo the ropes, and evade the attack.
Meanwhile, Alex managed to kick her opponent away from her, who said, “You’re just lucky you got in a few hits, but I will win!”
With Ran’s fight, it was pretty one sided. She had managed to keep her distance from her opponent, who was using a ribbon as her weapon. “Oh come on!” complained her opponent. “What are you? A martial arts racer?”
“Yes…”
“Oh…”
As for Akane, she delivered an extremely powerful uppercut to her opponent.
<><><><><><><>
Above them, Belle, Kodachi, and Piggy Ryoga felt the shaking, the former two grabbing onto the poles, the latter holding onto his chain. Suddenly, the mat flew upward along with Akane's opponent. A dead silence came as the seven remaining girls below processed what had happened. Ran‘s opponent then looked around the broken ring and came to a realization; she was nothing but Kodachi’s lackey. I need to be myself, find my own place in the rhythmic gymnastics world.
“Okay! That’s it!” she declared. “I’m transferring.”
She was followed by the others. “Second!”
“Maybe we can transfer to Seisyun and join Ryoko Hirano’s crusade against cheating.”
The three then went to pick up their fallen comrade and they would later talk to their principal about their decision.
In the crowd, the otaku girl stared at the sight. “What just happened?” she asked.
Her male counterpart gave a shrug. “I don’t know. But it must have been awesome.”
<><><><><><><><><>
Akane laughed sheepishly as they all left the remains of the ring, rejoining Ranma, Hikaru and Chiyo. “I didn’t mean to break the ring, it just happened,” she apologized.
“I know,” sighed Ranma.
Back with the main event, Kodachi stood on top of the pole. “It’s time to finish this!” She used her ribbon to grab Belle by the wrist and then threw her into the air.
“Oh no! Rarity! Do something!” yelled Momo from her and Hana's booth. Her cries were answered when Belle used the ribbon to grab onto one of the rafters.
Kodachi laughed her annoying laugh at this. “You won’t be able to hold onto that for long.”
That was when Piggy Ryoga began to oink at Belle. “Wait you want me to throw you at her?” she asked quietly. The little swine nodded. He had already helped her during the match, so she figured it might make a good finale. Making her move, she pulled the chain and used its momentum so that Piggy Ryoga once again tackled Kodachi, sending the obvious cheater to the floor.
A long moment of silence ensued as they processed the fact that the emergency backup that had no experience in Anything Goes Marital Arts Gymnastics just defeated Kodachi.
This silence was broken with the Furinkan High section cheering. Since the match was over, Belle let herself jump down and the referee lifted her arm.
“Belle Perle is the winner!”
“Yay! Rarity won!” cheered Momo.
“There’s something I have to ask you… why do you keep calling her Rarity?” Hana asked.
“That’s her nickname.”
“Ah.” Hana nodded in understanding.
“Curses!” shouted Kodachi meanwhile as she silently vowed revenge. “The pig was my undoing. I shouldn’t have done that.”
<><><><><><><>
Sometime later…
At the changing room, Belle had finished getting changed. Ranma and a returned-to-normal Ryoga were waiting outside as the girls were inside.
“You can come in now…” Akane called to the two boys. And they did
“Please, let’s just put this behind us and not talk about this again,” pleaded Belle.
Momo was curious as to why. “Why? you won?”
“But if it weren’t for Ryoga I wouldn’t have. In more ways than one.”
Ryoga blushed slightly at this. “It was nothing.”
“I should repay you.” Belle then walked over to him and whispered in his ear, “If you want to, I could help with Fluttershy.”
Ryoga flushed bright red and stammered, “No, that’s fine! I don’t need it. Besides, I thought you want to put this behind you.”
“I guess you’re right.”
Ryoga looked at Chiyo, who was confused by Belle's offer.
“Is anything wrong?” the shy girl asked.
“No, not at all…” assured Ryoga.
Belle began to walk out of the room when she encountered Kodachi in the doorway.
“This isn’t over, Belle Perle!” she declared. “Next time we meet, I will defeat you.”
She then began to walk away overdramatically, only to walk back. “Do you gave a business card on you?” she then asked. “I have heard about your dresses and how beautiful and well-made they are.”
Belle was a bit shocked at this, but decided to give her a spare business card.
“Thank you. But the next we meet, unless it's a business deal, I will defeat you!” Kodachi then walked away once more, again dramatically. Everyone watched her leave with sweat drops on their heads.
“I’m stuck as her rival aren’t I?” Belle finally said.
“I think so…” agreed Alex.
“Oh no… oh no! This is THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING! EVER!” Everyone stared at Belle in response to this.
Ran decided to break the tension. “So… Cat Café?” Everyone else nodded and they all decided to leave the changing room.
“Oh, come on you guys!” cried out Belle as she went after them. “This is serious!”
And so Rarity gained a new rival in the form of Kodachi Kuno… one she really didn’t want. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have to fight her again… However, this being Furinkan, an eventual rematch was inevitable…
At least she had a new client.
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Finally an update..
Okay seriously? The original Ranma 1/2 series could not have been this ridiculous, could it?
1838671 Yes. Yes it can.
Who cares Rares? You got a new client! That's ALL that matters.
1838671
If your referring to Kodachi using things like her brother or the announcers' table in the fight... know this: it's canon.
The link wasn't good enough, Emma? It was supposed to link to a Pokémon battle theme, which you mentioned in the original version. Why did you remove it?
Anyway, to the rest:
This is nightelf37, Emma Iveli's beta reader, and here I am again for the just-for-fun game. "Guess the Equestrian".
This is the "question" from last time:
(Category Three) She wears a pale pink t-shirt and a-line skirt, both with blue accents. She also wears a shell necklace and a pair of dolphin-shaped earrings. Her eyes are rose-colored.
I believe I expected too much from the bronies who would read this; the correct answer is Sea Swirl or Seafoam or Dolphin Dream.
I won't overestimate you bronies next time. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Here comes the next "question": This time, it's somepony not from the show, but still fits into a category.
(Category One) She is a young and gifted girl clad in black and a purple vest. She also wears a teal bandanna and a pair of glasses.
The correct answer will be given once the next chapter is up. To anyone who answers correctly, they can decide the next category. Remember:
(Category One) Main Character Family Members and Antagonists
(Category Two) Minor Characters and Celebrities (and one other character)
(Category Three) Background Ponies
For the record, Category One also includes adoption, like Spike. See ya on Third!
1838671
It can, was, and frequently went even further into ridiculousness as the series went on. This is still EARLY in the story.
1838671 The episode this was based off was actually pretty tame to some of the stuff that happened.
1840091
I got rid of the links ecause I felt it ruins the flow. I manged to fix the phrase though...
1840091Nyx. I spent 5 minutes thinking before I realised the black and purple vest, and glasses, and headband. It's totally Nyx, I am 100% sure.
I choose category 3 for the next question.
1841222
No, it won't. I Pinkie Promise. I've seen a number of successful fics that pull off the link-to-music very well, like Ace Combat: The Equestrian War (and you don't need prior knowledge of the Ace Combat series to be able to appreciate it). After all, it's to match the atmosphere.
1841844
Congratulations! I knew it was too easy once I realized the category.
1842039
I know there are good fics that do it, but it just feels to me like just because you can do it, doesn't mean it's a good idea...
1842847
I promise it won't be a bad idea for your fic. Why do you think it's a bad idea?
1842877
I don't feel it's a bad idea, I just feel uncomfortable doing it...
1842894
Why?
1842995
It just makes me feel uncomfortable,... I can't explain why beyond just because we can do doesn't mean we should...
Two errors noted:
and one polychomatic-haired -- polychromatic
“What about a giant tanuki stature?” - statue
1847212
Fixed!
Also, it should be noted that the description "polychromatic-haired" wasn't me... the entire sentence describing their hair colors was added by one of my betas.
1847212
That's my fault actually. I'm her beta. Thanks for pointing it out. I made references to the Charlie's Angels film, a certain game with a dark urban legend, and the SCP Foundation. Seriously, I need to see a bit more references to them.
I looove this fic, yeah... it's good!^_^
nightelf37 is no longer allowed to have that game... I only allowed it because he was my beta, however he quit... so yeah...
Little FLaws. It was implied edged weapons or spikes were illegal in the manga and the anime, so kodachi would be disqualitied if she used a sword openly. She had to use a club with retractible spikes to avoid getting caught by the referee.
Check the source material.