I don't really know what to make of this story... it's interesting, but I'm having a hard time getting into it.

Also, watch out for grammar and spelling mistakes; there were a few times I saw 'i' and such.

>>52055205

Sorry about the mistakes. I don't have any proofreaders! I'll do my best to correct them.

>>52055205

I looked over the chapters, and corrected all the misspelled words I found. I think most of it was really just me compensating for Applejack's accent, but I did find a few that were spelled wrong. Thanks for the heads-up!

you should really get some pre readers. Ja?

>>53145314

Actually, I'm looking for some right now! Just send me a message if you want to volunteer!

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Nusquam permaneo forever, nusquam subsisto idem eadem idem. Dico mihi it's non super, dico mihi it's non perfectus

Love to help, but what exactly are you trying to do with the scene.

>>1127911279

Like I said, Twilight is telling her friends of what she learned from Barthandelus. I don't think I can be much more specific then that.

>>1128111281

sorry for annoying you. my advice is to have twi lead them away from town, and tell them that they could all be banished for what she is about to tell them, then have her explain every thing in twilight's typical amount of detail. then allow the hijinks that would directly ensue run there course, as i'm sure the secret would get out quickly that there is a new alicorn on the block. from there, all kinds of routes could be taken.

You have an interesting start to the story -- you're filling in what happened when Celestia and Luna started Equestria.  I'm curious about the third god that you've created, and about the picture of the young Celestia and Luna.

Thank you for writing this!

>>2599725997

Celestia and Luna founding Equestria? I haven't thought of that, actually. The picture of them as fillies was intended to be used as an excuse for Twilight to actually read the story, so she would have some knowledge about Barthandelus before they met. And they aren't gods. They're just Immortal.

But thanks for the comment anyways. It's nice to know that people still read this, even though I haven't updated in a while.

....... get off your ass

AND START WRITING AGAIN!

>>4758347583

My apologies, but I've been working on other projects, and since this is the only story saved to my google account instead of my zip drive, I don't often get a chance to work on it at school, which is the only place I can work without the horrors of procrastination assaulting me.

>>4857348573

I DONT GIVE A SHIT

firing universal more cannon in

3......

2......

1....  

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

........please?

thank u :3