Vinyl Scratch, an up and coming, heavy hitting producer is thrown together with a shadow veiled, classically trained composer as they each try to make a living in the celebrity ridden streets of Canterlot. Little do they know, however, they will have to wade through the pressures of fame and popularity, heinous conspiracies and silver tongued threats, before they can walk the golden road of their fulfilled dreams.
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Cover Art by KaizenWerx and used with permission.
Chapters (16)
I will give you first thumbs up for the picture and I'll give it a favorite once I read it!
Love the cover art btw.
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Be sure to let the artist know!
first day on the job and octy nearly dies, saving her unknowing charge
Go on...
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2m8h78zIv1qc2bleo1_500.gif
wait did vinyl turn from femal to male since last chapter?
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I have written up a blog post about this... I guess I'll add a link to it at the top of the chapter as well. Sorry for the confusion but I had quite the epiphany last night and I think this gender change is exactly what I need/want for the story.
I think you forgot to change that one sentence
Are you going to change the last chapter too?
And at the bottom is an ad for Japanese swords. Nice
yoda said it best
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haha, I had to decide if I was going to have Octavia say exactly what Yoda did, blatantly turning it into a quote just because... or if it was something Octavia had come up with on her own/was something she learned.
I opted for the reference obviously... Only Yoda is allowed to be Yoda.
so if they watch a movie about ninja's will vinyl get the idead that octy might be one as well?
nice chapter a little slow but cant have them all be fast and arion packed
some times just want to see characters relax
(did you mean "face"?)
Interesting chapter. Vinyl is a little snoop I see. lol
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.. maybeh >__>
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That's what I was thinking... but I still want interesting things to happen, I shall do better!
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Thanks for pointing this out, but no I wanted pace there!
Well, if you ever go through the changeling invasion during this fic there''s a little bit already written for you.
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Haha! Brilliant, I'll be sure to keep it in mind.
you know Octavia's job might become a little bit easier if she teaches vinyl some basic self defence techniques
yes, yes i do. i'm sure there will be some comedy here and there, but the slice of life tag seems more fitting.
I wonder if the reason spardis didn't come to the sparing match is because he didn't want to get his flank handed to him
2815226 Ya know, you may be onto something. I have to agree with you.
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>__> heh heh...
I am willing to bet that every pony there must realize or has some sort of idea that had Octavia been frsh when fighing those four then they would have had no chance of defeating her
Octavia will make a great mother someday I can tale.
kick me in da ballz i'll kick you in da puss puss.
Good start. I think the alley fight could've used some more organic description, Octavia's light perspiration making her more sensitive to the cool night air. You could've also described the warm trickle of her blood, or at least some sounds and smells. As it is, it's more like a laundry list of the characters' moves. That made me want to skim it, and that made it hard to keep track of what everyone was doing. It was a good fight scene, but not much fun to read.
On another note, two of your three html's take me to unavailable videos: 'cello came a live' and 'pounding bass', respectively.
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Thank you very much sir for your input!
It seems those videos have been removed or hidden... I'll look into finding something different, thanks for bringing that up though.
Also, my narrative: Thank you so much for providing feedback, I'm no professional, and while sometimes it's hard to admit you aren't doing that well... I'm very thankful for the input on how to be better!
Your headcannon, it intrigues me. This is quite a unique direction, and quite out of left field for me, not even the story description hinted at all of this.
... I was unaware that you were planning to Rule 63 Vinyl. Don't really see the point of it either. But while we're at it, you did overlook a few instances where you refer to Vinyl as male:
You may want to look over the point in the five-on-one match when Octavia just had two opponents left. At first you describe them as a pegasus and an earth pony, but after that the pegasus becomes a unicorn. Shortly afterward, there's this:
Wasn't his name Stormy Sky?
Vinyl was bound to start catching on eventually, but I suspect that you are waiting for the right moment for the reveal.
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Darn, I read through that fight like... five times... trying to make sure I didn't screw up the different pony races. Thanks for catching that.
And no, it's Cloudy Skies. If you see any instances of Stormy please let me know.
Thanks for the comments sir, they are much appreciated!
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I don't want Vinyl to seem like a dunce, but it's hard balancing her knowledge with my own, which is everything. lol
Do you like the Vinyl sections at least? Should I keep doing it?
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I bring this up because you never once called him Cloudy Skies until The Tempest Before The Storm. Up until now, he was always called either Stormy Sky or just Stormy in the previous chapters. As a result, there are eight instances in At the Canterlot Guild Hall when he's called Stormy, one in Self Control, and fifty-four instances in Nothing Is Ever Easy. I'm not sure what the name change is for, but if you're set on naming him Cloudy Skies, just use Ctrl-F to find all the mentions of "Stormy" in those three chapters.
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welp, I suck... I'll get "Cloudy" fixed. I've spent the weekend rereading my work... I'm a terribly inconsistent writer.
You're right, it is Stormy.
Oh wow, an adventurous Octavia fic? That's co--
>>by Sasha Nein
Well, I never...!
Yeah ok, this is totally on the top of my read later list. It sounds like a blast!
Ooooooo, lucky colt! An attractive mare wants to spend time with him privately, and now she's takin' him out to eat.
I'm aware there won't be any romantic feelings between these two characters; it's just fun to think about.
What is Spardis's goal, I wonder. You've spent quite a lot of time on him, and even given your lead character a goal that revolves around him, so if the stallion himself is gonna have a goal that's consequential enough to merit as much room as you have him taking up, I suspect he'll either be a major villain or a major source of controversy for Octavia. He probably has something to do with Vinyl Scratch, since protecting her is Octavia's primary goal and the minor thugs she's dealt with so far are too dang petty a threat for 1/2 of your main cast.
I'm kind of itching to get back to her and see what she's up to. Hopefully that will happen - and more will be revealed of Spardis's intentions - when this thing kicks into high gear. The chapter titled "A Tempest Before the Storm" suggests I don't have far to read. This is a ninja story! It deserves full-throttle action!
She only does good when she's "on the clock"? Not cool.
Wow, oops, I have so many things in my read it later list, I forgot to check to see if this has been updated. Which is weird...I could have sworn I followed you, too. Gomen, Mr. Sasha Nein.
Going to start reading this again and gonna give my feedback. Like the new characters introduced. Stormy is cute, and Spardis shows some promise too. My only issue with this chapter is that sometimes you use "ninja's" instead of "ninjas". All in all pretty rad work. Can't wait to keep it up.
Personally, I'd rather it if you took a year to post a polished chapter you're proud of, than if you took a month to post one you don't like, or what have you.
Ngl I was kind of worried about a chapter focused on vinyl. I was afraid of the story detaching itself from the main plot. But, you gave us some clues as to who might be trying to bring vinyl down, and brought Octavia into the mix. Your chapters are generally becoming more and more enjoyable.
Though I had some critical things to say about the alley fight, I think the lack of description fits here. Octavia is facing off against a group of combatants who are more fellow students then opponents. The characters are all challenging one another's knowledge of the same discipline, so it makes sense that the moves, counterattacks, and tactics merit exclusive focus from any spectacular visuals or sensations. The clinical, straightforward feel of the fight fits the classroom setting. Next time, though, if such a lengthy fight scene takes place somewhere more exotic like a warehouse or the Manehattan rooftops, you will definitely want to write with more atmospheric details!
I'm surprised to see Octavia questioning the ethics of her actions at a time like this. To be fair, she is pretty young and pretty new to being a ninja, so I suppose she's never had to deal with these kinds of questions before. On top of that, this is her first mission. But still, you'd think she would already know that this sort of thing comes with the territory. Jack Bauer she is not.
Also, I'm glad that you had Octavia suspect Spardis at the end of this chapter because I completely forgot that Spardis is supposed to be a unicorn. Though whatever personal problems he has with Octavia would have to have been there before this mission. Maybe a grudge against her father?
Or it could be a completely different muscle-bound unicorn.
You should probably look over your first paragraph again. Try to rework the punctuation so that it reads a little better.
Extra 'the door'
Wrong kind of roll.
'make'
An extra 'and'
I don't think plural gets an apostrophe here.
You need a comma there.
I think the two parts of this sentence would have been better separated with a semicolon or even just a period.
That one period doesn't need to be there.
That's all I found in your latest chapter, but it could probably use another thorough look.
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I don't know how that simple stuff go missed, but to be fair this was edited at 2am in the morning. Most of those mistakes were in areas with bigger rewrites. I'm terrible, thanks much sir.
As to your other comments: I had some responses written, but no matter what I come up with they reveal things! So, instead I'll just say "much appreciated!" I'm glad to see speculation.
*your
Great story, btw. Definitely going in my favorites.
I paused Ronald Jenkees on Pandora so I could be linked to... more Ronald Jenkees. You, sir, have fine taste in music!
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You will also be pleased to know that I went through at least two dozen songs before settling on that one. I have a list of other potentials for the story if the need arises, but in that circumstance, Ronald fit like a glove.
Your tighter focus on editing is very much appreciated; a good story deserves to be as close to technically flawless as possible. Although you did use "queued in" where you should've typed "clued in", and I still get the impression that you sometimes flip a coin occasionally to decide whether or not you'll substitute a comma for a period.
Whatever the case, this is the chapter I've been waiting for! The one where the stakes rise, serious ninja action takes place, and deeper schemes are revealed.
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*gasp* How did you know!? Dangit, my secret has been revealed! I'm ruined!