SlowbroNE
Joined 22nd Feb, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- StoneSlinger88 · 15k words · 535 views
- Cytokin · 206k words · 53 14 · 1.6k views
- SubjectSigma · 21k words · 19 6 · 836 views
- Honey Mead · 15k words · 31 4 · 806 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.079 seconds
Total duration
842 users online
1,051,292 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Always good to see another FO:E fic, and from the view point of a zebra who grew up in a stable, this should be interesting...
I noticed a couple places where I think there were a few missing words, but nothing too bad.
The invisibility cloak seems like an awfully powerful item for a character just starting out to have, but I'll wait to see where you take the story before passing judgement
also, you can safely ignore a couple downvotes, there are a couple of trolls/haters who downvote every FO:E story
2169823 He could try toning it down so that the duration is short. That often helps to balance things out.
oh this looks good I like looking towards the next
Another great chapter! so now Zyphus will actually be starting his journey? Interesting... Can't wait for the next one!
Because no one actually have said it, welcome to the Fo:E heard
2247718
^_^ thanks.
I am glad to see some people reading Xenophobia and I definitely appreciate the feedback.
Happy to meet you all.
2239991
Look for Chapter 4 March 23rd ^_^
another good chapter!
so a voice in the protagonist's head? been done before plenty, but your take on it should be interesting
I'm liking Zythus's view on ponies, it will be interesting to see how it evolves.
The stealth cloak is continuing to seem overpowered, but it seems to be balanced out by Zythus's stupidity/naïvety
can't wait for the next chapter!
Oh dear, Zythus seems to have gotten himself a reputation as a assassin without even trying, this should be fun to see where that reputation takes him...
apparently that reputation takes him right to Hornet, his contact, and now target, who guessing by the name is a Pegasus.
So, Flynt might be joining him in his travels, wonder how their relationship will grow?
Zythus is terrible at staying loyal to his wife, though to his credit he was drunk at the time, I wonder if he'll have any more 'adventures'
also, why Bookworm as a perk for this chapter? I don't remember him reading any books, well, he did get those books from Scrimshaw, though that hardly seems to count in my opinion. If he was to get a perk in this chapter, I'd say it would either be Lady Killer (thereby setting him as straight, if it wasn't clear already), or something involving charisma/speech, for being able to maintain his reputation as an assassin through words alone, and you do know that he doesn't have to level up every chapter
Finally, his hatred of ponies is slowly beginning to crack, again, this should be interesting
By the way, I noticed a couple of what seem to be typos, and what look to be grammar mistakes, if you want my (meager) help in fixing (some of) them, I could do that.
Thanks for the comments and feedback. As always it is appreciated.
2393089
Hornet may be a pegasus hmm? Interesting theory.
I'll admit I shoehorned the perk in at the end. I'm half writing the perks as they apply to the story and half how I would take them as if Zythus was my PC in an FoE world. It was mostly there to set up a scene I had originally intended for chapter 5 but is now in chapter 6.
I derped the final draft too. My editor sent me back her notes and I posted the wrong one. We are currently re-editing Ch:5 but only for grammar/syntax. If you are interested in being a prereader please let me know.
2435116
Yes the I got drunk and blacked out is horrible, and yes Xenophobia is not now or will ever have clop aspects. There will be plenty of innuendo and adult situations but nothing overtly graphic.
Thanks again for your encouraging words.