When the rebellion overthrew the king of the Griffin Empire, everyone thought that things would be better, that there would be more food to go around, that the people themselves would have a say in politics. But that never happened. The new 'democratic' government started passing laws, small things first. No concealed weapons, no staying out on the street after one without good reason. The citizens never got their half of the bargain; they were forced to watch as the government transformed into an ironic sham of its hopes. And yet, never once did any of the council members miss a chance to say that they were only acting in the interest of the people. But for two griffins, actually trying to escape won't be the smartest, let alone the easiest option. In fact, it'll probably be one of the hardest ones out there.
So this got featured. I'm amazed, especially since it was the last story I expected to get featured.
Many thanks to the amazing thewookie1 for being around to make this story good.
Here goes for a story mostly devoid of canon characters and the entire canon environment in the beginning. Let's see how well this ends up faring out there. Mane six included because they come up later. This isn't like a chapter one bad place chapter two Ponyville story, for whatever that means to any of you. I've seen the whole, immediate magnet effect to Ponyville as a little clichéd.
I eagerly wait to see where this goes, off to an interesting start!
Dang poor eldon, that must have been scary as hell for him at least hes out now, i actually felt bad for the guard too considering he didnt used brute force, really interesed on it I AM WATCHING YOU.
Gryphons are pretty badass, in my opinion of course. This is getting damn interesting really fast.
Also, I believe you called Eldon, Eravel at one point.
I can't wait for more!
Finally got around to reading this!
Poor Eldon. But this is looking really interesting, a nice change from the usual stuff I read on here. Looking forward to more :D
Eravel? methinks you made a mistake, dear sir. great chapter though, look forward to more
Why, oh why, did I.wait till now to read this? Great start to a story, and I can't wait to see where you take this
You seemed to have called him Eravel by mistake, but apart from that another great chapter :)
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Really? I thought I fixed it…
Thanks for the fav though, glad you like it.
I can't fav D:
I'm liking Eldon a lot, he calculates the risk/reward for many things, kinda awesome. As for Cato, well he's a kid, and worries about his brother, only makes sense of course.
3457466 No problem man, I haven't had much time to read recently with stuff going on with me but it's nice to have a good story to sit down and read when I do get the time.
this is good. To think you were worried about writing something not Winds of Change related.
Wow, this is good. You are too good of an author to get so little attention.
D'aww Cato is too adorable and innocent, the little rascal.
Also, this story, it needs more views, it has no reason not to. :/
Oh ho! Do I spy an awkward moment in the near.future? Maybe some very confusing Griffin/pony feelings? I think I do! And the innocence of a child to.get the ball rolling...
Whether it's WoC or otherwise, you never fail to draw me in and surprise me. Keep up the excellent work, good sir!
Yay, character development! Why did the griffons put up with this shit anyways? When the wing clip thing started you would think there would be a massive rebellion or something.
Good chapter
BEAR!
I love this story, I really like Eldon, great personality on him.
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Thanks, that means a lot.
Hopefully he's separate from the other characters I've made, and doesn't seem like a reboot of someone. I was a little worried about that.
3681027 As you may or may not remember, I really liked Eravel, he's generally goofy, but will be serious, but Eldon is quite different he's real determined to get outta the shithole he was raised in, and would die just for a chance that his brother could be free, not seeming like a reboot to me, and I'm a tad late, but Merry Christmas!
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Same to you, and thanks for the input. It's good to know.
Great chapter!
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Glad you liked it! Anything that jumped out at you? I'm trying to scrape together a few opinions if I can, seeing as this story isn't as popular as I'd like it to be.
But I'm inching up there, another up-vote today!
3686346 It has lots of fire. I like fire. And surprise bear attacks. No one expects surprise bear attacks. I also like well designed scenes and characters with good character interaction*.
*Some of your characters ask questions I wouldn't think to ask, unless I was actually in the story, this shows you put a lot of thought into the world you are writing.
I have noticed that your work seems to go largely unnoticed despite it's good quality and quantity. The popularity of the stories in "The Winds Of Change" series seem to decrease rapidly the further in they get, which means the series is not getting many new readers, and many of the people that thumbed the original story did not follow it. The stories that are not directly connected to the winds of change are only read by people that decide to check in on your stories once in a while. I understand the root of the problem is Fimfiction is a near-infinite well of fan fiction, so people easily forget to check up on the authors they have already read work from. I personally will almost always follow a story if i thumb it, and I will thumb it if I like it. If I thumb a story and favorite it, chances are I will also follow the author in order to get more good stories.
Thank you for the good work.
Lovot
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Thanks for the review. I'm glad (kinda surprised) that you find such potential in what I write, because whenever I look at it I wonder why people do. I guess I'm just overly critical of my own stuff. But really, what you say means a lot, since it's what I was trying to put effort into achieving, and I can't be sure if anyone really appreciates that or if I succeeded in what I was trying to do. Major props to thewookie1, because the pacing just wouldn't be right without that guy. He was also the one to come up with the bear thing. Credit where it's due, after all.
Anyway, thanks for getting back to me with such a helpful comment. I know you're right about how people act around this site, but you'd think I'd get a few more views on account of how many followers I have… Oh well. I'm proud of this story either way.
Also, I thought your user name was ten-vote, not Lovote. Ah, well. The more you know.
Im loving the pacing and development of the characters so far into the story
Keep it up
Man this story is so good
I. MUST. HAVE. MOAR!!!
I feel so bad for Eldon, all he wants to do is give his brother a good life, and he's damn near getting killed around every corner! Oh the things older brothers will do!
More plz
I quite love this story and actively call for more!
Oh, sorry for not appearing before, not very active in terms of commenting, more lurker than talker but I digress.
And on this Chapter, we make it to Ponyville, and Pinkie does not give a good first impression
dragging off Roseluck and Cato, away from 'Monster' Eldon, leaving him to the talons of the vengeful guard who kinda bugs me for not having called Rookie by name at this point when trying to avenge him (although at this point he is pretty much consumed by rage), Given that he considered Rookie a friend, who in return considered Joel the same, calling him by name, though Joel calls Rookie by his call sign/ nickname which Rookie dislikes,
though that could be teasing from Joel's part.
From that suggestion and Joel's reaction to Rookie's death it seems that Joel and Rookie may have been childhood friends, or met together in training, they have worked together, and faced many challenges together, and Rookie would have been seen surviving horrendous wounds, even more. Leading to Joel's belief that Rookie couldn't die.
Suddenly Joel and Rookie seem reminiscent of Victor Reznov and Dimitri Petrenko, heck Victor runs on the same hunting instinct as he goes on to avenge Dimitri's death. Although through the use of Alex Mason and again I digress.
During this period would have been plenty time for Rookie to have eventually shared his name with Joel, although, of course, there are future chapters to read perhaps you'll reveal Rookies name another time (or direct me to an instance where Rookie's name was mentioned but I had forgotten)
TL:DR In other words, I'm complaining about the lack of a name for a mook who was already assigned one and who never made it past the first chapter.
And this is why I don't comment.
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I can't reveal everything right off the bat, now can I?
Anyway, I actually quite like these kinds of comments. You know, long and stuff. It shows that people have a strong interest in the story, which makes it a lot more fulfilling to write stuff. Thanks.
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Thanks, will do.
I have a feeling this is going to get political and all that jazz
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It's not going to. Unless you're referring to political tension like the cold war. There's bound to be a lot of that.
But in terms of Celestia, there won't be too much of her involved. That stuff is boring to write anyway.
Eldon finally gets a break from people trying to kill him? I don't think that will last very long.
Lyra is not in "That Cream Filling", so you have at least one story that has no Lyra.
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touché
Got to constantly remind myself that this is not your Jasonverse Where I could rub Eldon and Cato's plight in Jason's face and say "See!!! This is what happens when you don't take involvement after a regime change"!
So Eldon and Cato's been granted asylum, in ponyville at least, That's going to ruffle up some feathers, a convicted (well he's going to be) murderer living right on (close enough) the border, someone's going to get an idea or two that they think they can get away with.
Eldon's reaction to the needle and Cato's reaction to a boiler, quite strikes me as "My God just how technologically backwards is the Griffon Emp- Republic"? Of course given that Eldon and Cato's only use of a needle that they've seen is to deliver painful executions it's understandable that they would react in that way, doesn't make it any less cringing when Eldon freaks over it. No evidence of a hospital, or clinic for that matter in that mining town turned prison camp, and let's not discuss anything about basic heating there.
Infact... their previous home seems all in all, a prison, an internment for political families. Since we're only getting Eldon and Cato's view point we haven't seen what's it like outside of their prison home, barring Equestria, if other places were following the strict rule set out by the Revolutionary government surely the Equestrian Government would have noticed this, at least, a tiny but noticeable amount of escapees (unless Eldon and Cato struck out as really lucky).
Given that border guards have been arresting anypony as spies, given promotion and getting a lot of flak on the government that should mean that Equestria should have some observers in the Griffon Territories.
Ah Lyra when you need a pony who's got time to spare there's always her
If you can't find the time, well, you can't find the time, so be it, life goes on, people can wait, etc.
Cato is like the most adorable thing, building a pillow fort when his brother fell asleep.
Take your time! I really enjoy your story, we all have stuff to do from time to time.
Take your time we will wait for you and your amazing story.
Interesting story, got linked at Spacebattles. Tracking.
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Well, that explains all the random views and favorites. Hopefully the next update should come soon, but with AP testing coming up I'm really crunched for time.
Really glad you enjoyed what you've read so far.
It took me a week to figure out this was updated? Shame on me lol
Another!
Well, I liked it, and I'm certainly hungry for more. Especially now that things seem to be looking up for our heroes. It will be good to see the characters' relationships pass beyond pure survival.
However, there were a few things that made me raise my eyebrows. The first is one of geography, that everything we've been told about Equestria's geography is that the Everfree forest is in the middle and the griffon controlled lands are to the east (presumably across the sea), such that someone running from a griffon city to Ponyville through the Everfree is a bit like someone running from London and ending up in Kansas City without crossing any water. Which of course brings me to the point that they did eventually wind up in Ponyville despite the author's notes implying otherwise, but that kind of makes sense because Roseluck lives there, for now. That is a nice segue to talking about the third problem of Princess' response to Eldon and Cato's request being that they can stay there as long as they cause trouble, which is flipping stupid both from a diplomatic standpoint (who can trust Equestria when they turn away refugees for the slightest reason?) and from the logical standpoint that griffon guards already tore apart a part of the town trying to kill him (thus creating a diplomatic incident and proving that his mere presence is a threat, not that it's relevant because the Equestrian government is totally feckless and impotent on foreign policy).
Those are minor gripes though because the true focus is on the relationship(s) between Cato, Eldon, and Roseluck, and it does that quite well.
A interesting take on things here, I am confident Roseluck is up to the task of helping them out, they certainly need it.
Ah, a new chapter. Excellent.
It has been a long time indeed.
You did tell me you had something coming out soon, but what you didn't tell me is that it would include everyone's favourite griffin!
In all honesty though I really do enjoy your work, it's really nice to get such a different viewpoint in literature.
It has been awhile, but everything fits where it should be still.
3924596 Don't you mean the Gryphon People's Republic?
Regardless, I can already see a shitstorm brewing on the horizon.
If borders won't stop them, then I presume that the Equestrians will be forced to annex the Gryphon population, whether they like it or not.
It is after all, for their own good. It would probably be better for them in the long run, having fair rule by Equestrian Royals, gryphon culture and tradition be damned. At least, that is my viewpoint.
One has to wonder why Celestia has kept a blind eye on this. Regardless, it would appear this may be resolved by a matter of subterfuge.
I.E: Assassins from the Luna Guard anyone? Cut and Dagger.
They should probably add a little indoctrination for newly born gryphons to make them loyal to Equestria if they ever get the chance.