The tale of the six legendary mares, who during their lives saved the kingdom countless times without anyone hearing their stories. The Chronicler Succaeros will be sharing his experiences with the world, sharing the epic tales of these fantastic six ponies.
Chapters will be ongoing, so check back often. This is the first of the tales, with separate stories to come afterwards.
The tales are split into eight parts: The Prologue, The Misery of Despair, The Woes of Strife, The Eternal Apathy, The Virtues of Power, The Corruption of Purpose, The Deprivation of Volition, and The End of the Path.
The places and items in this story are (in part) based off of Hlissner's Map of Equestria.
Link: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=Map+of+Equestria#/d46wmzm
There is going to be some violence, but hopefully not too much gore, not if I can write it like I want to, anyways.
I will need someone to draw out some creatures for me, so if you want your artwork featured, drop me a line.
Solarius
I love it!
Zecora's rhymes are great, but I can't help but think Succaeros needs to rhyme too. It will take a lot of work, but it will get you noticed for sure. Also, having everything in italics means you can't highlight any words, but that's just a stylistic point of view.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Yeah, I've finally found some time to read that story. I've noticed you're using hlissner's framework (by that, I mean, his map), right?
My current opinion is: It's quite good, has a good premise, and as much as I'd like to read more, it suffers from a few quite painful problems.
First, there are a few parts in the story where there's a sudden switch from 3rd person to 1st and back. It's quite confusing, to be honest.
Second, your story has the same problem as mine: "Show, don't tell". You might consider it somewhat hypocritical on my part, because that's the same thing that I've done... But yeah, you know, it's easier to tell others than to do in oneself
That thing triggered me doing ( yet another ) rewrite. Ouch. But it's still a part of a learning process.
Furthermore, there's a small problem with plot: Celestia sends the Mane 6 across the world, but doesn't give them a good, solid reason to do such a thing. Essentialy, it boils down to "Go, bearers of harmony!" But why? I believe it might be much, much better if Celestia explained to them in detail what's really going down.
Word of advice, there's a fic board on ponychan, where you can submit your story for better, more in-depth review. I'm still pretty new to the whole "writing fanfiction" business, and as such I'm still making the same mistakes that I notice others doing.
So, a good premise, but a few problems that are fixable. Thumbs up!
266317
I'd rather not get tied up in Ponychan, if it's all the same. But the info was helpful, and gave me ideas. Which, is currently what I need. Yes, it's based on hlissner's design, with a few minor changes. Where did it jump from third to first? Can you point it out?
266508
>I'd rather not get tied up in Ponychan, if it's all the same.
Why's that?
>Where did it jump from third to first? Can you point it out?
I'll point that out later, if I may. Right now I'm rather busy
Eh. Ponychan and I don't get along well.