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ThursdayStressed Updates4 comments · 24 views
As I sit here at 11PM, a... someone I am close with in hospital because they were threatening to commit suicide, my head killing me because... today was as good a day as ever to get a headache, and I'm working on the next chapter of Under Our Wing, staring at a brightly-lit screen with tiny letters because I hate myself and writing a story where Scootaloo tried to kill herself. I'm just a big ball of joy right now, if you couldn't guess.
Ugh... everything has been falling apart lately. My Halloween plans are in limbo due to weather making my life a living hell and now the previously mentioned... issue. I'm behind enough as it is in school, it's right in the middle of allergy season so I feel like crap pretty much 24/7 and still I find the time to write because damn it it's stress relief and I am feeling really stressed.
I don't want to give any personal information about the person I mentioned for obvious reasons, but I do want to talk a little about it since I'm safe in the knowledge that no one I know personally will ever see this blog. I haven't had a chance to talk to them yet, as I just heard about it tonight, but I do want to. You guys know I was in a similar position a couple years ago, and it makes it easy for me because this person is just a little younger than I am (one month younger). I'll be seeing them soon-ish if some plans come together, and I think that's going to be the only chance I have for a while. To be honest I don't even know how they'll react to me trying to talk to them, and I don't even know what they're current situation is. I'm severely out of the loop on this issue and it's starting to seriously piss me off. This is a person I've known literally my entire life, and I do not appreciate knowledge being withheld from me for whatever reason.
But I digress. I won't know more until tomorrow, and hopefully I'll be able to get someone to tell me what the hell is going on.
Aside from that problem, writing's been going great! Except Missing Dreams. I have so many plans for the later chapters but I'm just so stuck on this one Shining Armour bit it's not even funny. Maybe I should edit and release the next chapter of Four is Greater...? It's been a while since an update and it is pretty much all ready.
I'll keep you guys posted on the writing front of things for now, but depending on what happens some things may be delayed for a while. Not much I can do, sorry. Anyway, I just wanted to give a brief update on what's going on in case I'm not around for a little while.
Until next time,
TuesdayOpinion Blog; Choice1 comments · 22 views
Whoa, more site updates... fancy-lookin'.
Oh my god! The edit background isn't piss yellow anymore! Holy crap! Thank you, overlord Knighty.
That's about me all day.
Okay to be fair, I've been more productive today than all weekend on the writing front, but otherwise I did nothing. Mostly because the only thing I could do all day was sit and write because being sick is about as fun as going through a car wash in a convertible with the roof down. Sure it sounds fun on the surface; no school, no expectations, and you get to be lazy all day, but in reality it kinda sucks. You're wet and soapy by the end of it, and beaten by surprisingly high-pressure water jets. Then you're cold as your drive away until you dry off.
Anyway, with me bed... er, chair-ridden, in my case, I got about a thousand words done on Under Our Wing, and I'm going to go back to it a little later tonight and see if I can't hit and even 3K. I want these chapters to be around 4K.
Today, however, I want to do an opinion piece.
I have made it very clear that I have strong opinions. I don't hide this and I do not hide my opinions nor do I hide behind them. However, something that's always bugged me is parents indoctrinating their children into their opinions. It happens with every opinion on every matter, and it needs to stop.
I have many opinions, and if your opinions do not line up with my own I waste no time getting into a debate about them should I be provoked. However, as much as I believe that I am right in my way of thinking, as I'm sure everyone else does, I also firmly believe in the freedom to chose what we believe. It is not within anyone's power to dictate another's thinking or opinions. Not even someone's parents.
I was lucky; I grew up with a mother who also believed this, and as such never forced me to agree with any of her opinions. She never taught me her opinions as facts, and because of that I was able to explore all the sides of an argument before deciding what I personally thought. It's why I can examine, understand, and empathize with anyone on any side of an issue.
What bothers me the most though is when I see families on the side of the street with signs protesting on thing or another, and they take their kids, their 6-12 year old kids with them. The kids who are too young to fully grasp the concept of what it is their parents have forced them to protest against. I say this the most on the issue of abortion, little kids with no real idea of what abortion even is waving pro-life signs.
Indoctrination is wrong; we can all agree on that. We all know that it's not right to control how another person thinks. So why then do we think it's okay to do that to our own children? I don't care if they're your child; you do not have the right to implant your own ideals into them. Teach the controversy, not the opinion.
I get it; I get the desire to have your child think the same way as you. I know that it would be hard for your own child to disagree with you on something as big and important to you as religion or politics or whatever. But we need to let people decide their opinions on their own. They don't need a guide, they need to explore the jungle without a map. Just because you don't like some of the routes out doesn't mean you should block them off; all paths have their own unique features, and I think that someone should experience all of them before deciding which one is their favorite. I went through many different political ideals before landing where I am today. I thought long and hard about religion before deciding I thought it was all a load of crap.
A person, and above all a child, needs to experience the world, they don't need to be told what the world is like. Maybe your child's opinions will be the same as your own, and maybe they won't, but you need to understand that it's their choice.
Now, there are some exceptions to this rule like any other, and the exception is tolerance. You need to teach your child tolerance. Tolerance and compassion; those are not matters of opinion. People need to be tolerant and compassionate, or the world will become a truly dark place. Tolerance to all people; be they different from you ethnically or be of the opposite gender or be of a different sexual-orientation from you or whatever. Those, I think, the parent's two biggest roles; teach your child to be tolerant, and teach them to be compassionate.
They don't need to be taught which political party they should vote for, they should experiment and decide on their own.
Don't force your opinions on others, especially children. You can debate with people of opposing opinions, try to convince them, but do not force them to accept your opinion as fact. Some people will chose to remain ignorant of other opinions, and some people will chose to learn about other ways of thinking. it's all about choice.
"In ignorance we know nothing. In knowledge, we know we know nothing."
Until next time,
5 comments · 38 views
Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to create a character?
No no, wait, lemme correct that.
Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to create an interesting, three-dimensional character from a flat, boring base?
making an OC from scratch is a piece of cake; a little positive trait here, a negative one to balance it out, keep adding until you have a complex character while still keeping it simple enough so they don't come off as pretentious, make a back story to explain roughly half the personality traits (the rest will be determined by genetics) and ta-da, interesting character assuming you can write them.
Doing that while building up from a boring, grey base of boring grey-ness without straying from canon and still trying to make the character relatable and interesting?
Just shoot me now.
Shining Blankety-Boring Armour is becoming a bigger and bigger pain in my ass. First I actually discover the guy has no substance other than "prince" and "older brother", then I take a look at the base I have to work on and find out it's just as boring and blank as the rest o the character would suggest. Pretty soon I'm gonna say screw it and just shove another of my character's personalities down his throat so far he thinks he is that character...
Yes, I feel a lot of animosity towards him. You would too if you were in my shoes.
Anyway, aside from blankety-blankerson over there, I've been getting a consistent 300 words a night done on Under Our Wing... compared to my average of 1K a night. Writing's been slow going recently and I don't quite know why. It's not like I have a block or anything; the writing I get out is good and I have very few issues thinking of how I want to say what I need to say, but it's just slow going. I don't really know what it is, all I know is I check my word count when I decide to take a break and it's barely moved at all. At this rate it's going to take days to hit the 4K words I want to keep the UOW chapters at. If I ever get accused of not releasing anything I can still toss out a chapter of Four is Greater that I have been neglecting for weeks, but that would mean I also have to start working on the later chapters of that and I really don't want to right now; I want to write some god damn Scootalove and fuck you that's what I'm gonna do. I suppose I could always actually work on Hidden hearts, which I got some awesome cover art for, but I feel like I owe it to UOW to get some real work done on it. I just realized that the most recent chapter was uploaded nearly a year after the previous one, and that's a trend I want to stop early. I may not always be the most consistent, but I don't want to downright abandon my stories.
In other news, Smash 4...
I want... so much...
First I need a 3DS, which means about $200, then the game.
That's the plan for now. Soon though, soon... mwahahahaha. I should really get into the tournaments held at my city's university, a couple of my friends go there and do pretty well, and I'm one of the better players among them, if the day's right.
Ah well, someday. I have a half hour left to get some writing done... 72 words a minute, don't fail me now!
until next time,
1w, 3dShining Blank Armour4 comments · 24 views
I finally figured out why I've had such a hard time writing the next chapter of Missing Dreams
The guy has no character whatsoever. You don't really notice till you think about it, but now that I have to write him, I realize that aside from "prince" he has no personality at all. None. Zero. Zip. On the surface he does, but if you're a writer and you put the guy in any kind of serious situation and suddenly you have no idea how he'd react besides "princely". It's annoying as all hell, let me tell you. I now have to make an entirely custom character for him, make sure it all aligns with what he's done in canon, then, and only then, can I write the chapter. I need to make one big-ass flow chart. Yeah, I use flowcharts for virtually everything. You really don't appreciate them enough when you're in elementary school, but they've suddenly become really useful to me.
Fog Machine; Acquired. Dude it is so much more awesome than I ever thought. It's just fog but... I can make it. I will be taking and posting a ton of pictures from Halloween this year. I have so many plans.
Basically, until I finish my character write up for Shining, I'll be working on Under Our Wing, which I'm sure many of you are happy about anyway.
Until next time,
1w, 5dI Wrote That1 comments · 27 views
So I'm 300 words into the next chapter of Under Our Wing, and I decided that I've written enough for this weekend. So I stopped, but I spotted something in my files when I was saving it.
The first story I ever wrote.
I opened the first chapter of this story and just... just the first couple paragraphs of the damn thing. Holy crap.
So, for a little bit of editing practice and some fun, I thought I'd take the first little bit of the chapter (It's 5K words, otherwise I'd do the full things) and tear it to pieces here. Be prepared for; really bad writing, really bad plot (it wasn't my idea!) and some really bad... everything.
Everypony has their closely guarded dark secret. Some are darker than others, the point is that most would rather make sure there secret is never uncovered. Some try to forget that it ever existed, but that never works, the mind is to complicated to simply “forget”. There can never be “forgive and forget” our minds will either guilt us until we right whatever wrong we've committed, or burn us with with a passion for revenge until we go out, do something we'll regret the next day, and go through the guilt cycle when we try to hide it. In the end, we can never keep our secrets forever, but what about the secrets that shouldn't be uncovered?
The sun goddess, better known as princess Celestia, shes lived for thousands of years and is one of the 3 remaining alicorns. The very pony we trust to raise the sun every morning and guide equestria to a perfect future, but what happened to the rest? Where are the other alicorns? Are they just a rare breed of all 3 types of ponies, or did they come from somewhere all those millennium ago. If that's true, what happened to the rest? Why are there only 3 left? This, is the princess's dark secret, the one locked in the furthest depths of her mind, a memory that she thought she had forgotten, but the rage and hunger for vengeance burns to strongly in her heart to forget, but she tried. She tried, she came to equestria, foolishly thinking she had left her past behind, when she found equestria it was ruled by a creature called discord, the spirit of disharmony. She and her sister defeated him and were given the throne for saving the ponies, a duty she took in full stride, but then, just as the going got good, just as she settled into the throne, her secret proved that it could not and would not be contained. She remembered all that she had thought she forgot, her past, and her childhood, all the memories came flooding back.
“MOMEY!” Celestia screamed through sobs, tears running down her face and onto the carpet as she dashed through the house. “ECLIPSE WAS MEAN TO ME AGAIN!”
“I WAS NOT!” Called Eclipse, chasing after his sister, racing for their mother.
“HE PULLED MY TAIL AND CALLED ME UGLY!” Celestia screamed, just managing to keep ahead of her younger brother. Solar Eclipse (though everypony called him Eclipse) was younger than Celestia, by about 100 years (the equivalent of 2 years give or take of normal pony years) but he was the smallest in his class. With a deep red coat and a bright red mane with black highlights, his tail was split into to scythe-like sections, both sticking straight up and back like a bolt of lightning. He was small and thin, practically no muscles in his legs, he had quite a bit of speed, but he didn't have the endurance of his sister.
“THATS WHAT SHE DID TO ME!” The much less athletic colt called after his sister as she rounded the corner to the living room where their mother, a pearly white alicorn with a flowing light blue mane and pink eyes, currently stood scowling at eclipse as he rounded the corner.
“Then please enlighten me as to why Celestia is crying?” his mother asked in a very stern tone.
“She's faking it!” He said, just barely managing to defend himself under the hard glare of his mother.
“And what possible reason would Celestia have to do that? I'll save you some time, none, now apologize to your sister and go to your room until I come get you!”
Oh good god... this is gonna be painful. I'd like to reiterate the fact that I didn't think of the plot or characterization, I just wrote it. The guy I was writing it for decided he needed to make Celestia kinda a bitch.... yeah... Let's get started.
the point is that most would rather make sure there secret is never uncovered
I used the right "there" in the previous sentence, but not this one...?
Some try to forget that it ever existed, but that never works, the mind is to complicated to simply “forget”
Yeah... I didn't know what a semicolon was back then....
There can never be “forgive and forget” our minds will either guilt us
Semicolon, past me. SEMICOLON DAMN IT. Also a run-on sentence... I clearly had no idea what I was doing.
better known as princess Celestia, shes lived for thousands of years
And apparently even the simple apostrophe evaded me...
and guide equestria to a perfect future,
hunger for vengeance burns to strongly in her heart
Too, past self; Too. Also, what the hell is with this exposition? When was the last time I started a story with exposition? It's just... bad. Not to mention the plot for this thing is really stupid in hindsight.
she came to equestria, foolishly thinking
when she found equestria it was ruled by a creature called discord
Did I not understand how proper nouns work?
It's "mommy" you dunce.
Solar Eclipse (though everypony called him Eclipse)
I think I had some kind of love affair going with awkward and unneeded exposition....
was younger than Celestia, by about 100 years (the equivalent of 2 years give or take of normal pony years)
Huh... that was my headcanon back then; alicorns grew and developed slower than normal ponies. It's actually an interesting thought. It's not immortality, just longer than average lifespans and, thus, longer than average development. Not too bad, past me. Though again with the stupid exposition....
With a deep red coat and a bright red mane with black highlights
Is that a red and black brother-of-Celestia alicorn OC I spy? It is! Good god what was I doing... honestly though; this is all my friend's messed-up idea, not mine.
currently stood scowling at eclipse as he rounded the corner.
Good god I couldn't even capitalize names....
his mother asked in a very stern tone.
Clunky writing is clunky
I'll save you some time, none, now apologize
; You see that? --> ; <-- that right there, I even put arrows. That's a semicolon. USE IT.
Actually most of the errors in that were exposition, plot, and general low-quality writing that I couldn't poke fun at. Oh well, I had a blast. Maybe some other time I'll do more of this, poking holes in writing that I used to think was gold. Not even kidding, I once thought this would be on EQD. I was young and foolish. Two years ago I wrote that, and now I'm writing... well, Under Our Wing. How much i've improved is really impressive to me.
Anyway, I have some Animaniacs to watch before finally going to bed (It's 2 AM here).
Until next time,
Rainbow and Dash
“Where the brambles are thickest, there you will find a pond beyond the most twisted of vines.” Rainbow muttered the rhyme as she pushed her way through a particularly thick bush. Her mane was a mess, twigs and leaves practically turned the rainbow of colours into a dull brown due to how many there were. Her coat was no better; tangled and matted, a few scratches showing from particularly sharp branches. She would have much rather flown, but the trees made it impossible for her to see anything from above, forcing her to follow Pinkie’s old story.
She emerged on the other side of the bush, sporting a new and particularly deep cut across her cheek. She felt a single bead of blood trickle down her cheek before raising a hoof to wipe it away. She looked around, realizing she was in a small clearing. In the centre was a large grey stone, half buried in a hole of some kind.
“Twilight mentioned she plugged it.” She grumbled approaching the rock and poking at it with a hoof. “Now how am I supposed to get down there?”
As if on command the ground shook slightly as the rock fell a few inches down the hole. Curious, she stomped on it, causing it to fall quite a distance. He lips spread into a smile as she jumped down the hole, landing on the rock with a solid thump before continuing further towards the cavern said to hold the Mirror Pool.
A few more minutes of stomping and jumping let the rock finally fall away from the tunnel that was just barely big enough for it, rolling to the side to reveal a large cavern with a pool in the centre. The cavern was lit with mushrooms and various other luminous plant-life that let off a soft light.
Rainbow didn’t waste her time as she approached to pool and looked into it. Staring back up at her was herself, a confident smile on her face. She took a second to admire herself and her brilliant idea before thinking back to Pinkie’s rhyme.
“And into her own reflection she stared… yearning for one who’s reflection she shared… uh, how did it go? Oh right, and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mared!” As she spoke the final words the pool started to shift, a few ripples emanating from the edge. The ripples slowly turned to bubbles, then to a cyan head with a rainbow mane. The head was followed by a pegasus body; cyan wings a perfect match for her own.
“It worked!” Dash cried happily, thrusting a hoof into the air. Her clone stared blankly at her for a second before opening her wings and cocking her head.
“Race?” She asked inquisitively.
“Uh, sure, but for now we need to sort some things out. First, though, what should we call you?” Rainbow sat back on her flank, her front hoof rising to rub her chin thoughtfully. “I know! I’ll be Rainbow, and you can be Dash, sound good?”
“Race?” Dash asked curiously, flapping her wings and hovering in the air.
“Not now. We’ll need to teach you a few things. Come on.” Rainbow led Dash back up the tunnel to the entrance.
“You know what you need to do?” Rainbow asked, peeking out from behind a bush across the street from a tree.
“Yep, I need to go find Twilight, my marefriend, and tell her I chose her over the Wonderbolts, my life long dream. From then on we can live happily; all I need to do is keep her and her friends away from anything Wonderbolt related to keep our secret safe.” Dash responded, puffing her chest out proudly at the fool proof plan.
“Excellent, now go on, the sooner the better, she didn’t look too healthy when I saw her.” Rainbow shuttered as she remembered the pale, sickly looking unicorn she had seen earlier that day. With a nod Dash walked towards the library and knocked on the door. Rainbow sighed sadly as she looked up, the sun had just gone down and the moon was just peaking over the horizon. It had been a hard decision, deciding where she would go, either to stay with Twilight or stay with the Wonderbolts. In the end she had decided to stay with the Wonderbolts. In the end it came down to the fact that everypony would be happier that way. She could fulfill her life long dream, and Twilight and her friends could stay happy. It was a win-win scenario.
She took off into the air with a powerful flap and started making her way back to Cloudsdale, only to stop and turn around. She looked sadly at the scene before her. There was Dash, her clone, being kissed passionately by Twilight. She felt a tear threaten to leave her eyes as something dawned on her; she could never see Twilight or any of her friends again. They would be happy, but would she? Sure, she had the Wonderbolts, her life long dream and long time goal, but was it worth it? And if she changed her mind now, was it too late? What would Twilight say when she walked up behind them and told her what happened and what she was going to do? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to find out. She took of as fast as her wings could carry her, her necklace bouncing against her chest as tears forced their way out of her eyes.
“Element of Loyalty. Who am I being loyal to now? The Wonderbolts? Myself? Certainly not my friends or Twilight. But who takes priority?” Rainbow’s thought bombarded her until she could no longer see Ponyville. There was no going back now. She forced her eyes to dry and shoved her thoughts to the back of her mind. Filling it instead with thoughts of her next show. Her new stunts she was working on, anything except a tree library and a lavender unicorn.
Twilight stayed in her bed, wrapped in her blanket in her darkened room, tears both fresh and old staining her cheeks. Even now she wanted to cry, but she had no more tears to use. She gripped a picture to her chest with her hooves; her and Rainbow Dash, flying through the sky as the sun was setting behind them. Twilight was glad she brought her camera with her that day; her very first flight with Rainbow. She scrunched her eyes tightly as a new wave of tears washed over her. She remembered giving Rainbow the ultimatum, remembered her dumfounded reaction, and remembered telling her to get out. She wished she could undo every second of it.
Did she really expect Rainbow to choose her over the Wonderbolts? No, not really, but at least then Rainbow could move on. Twilight wouldn’t hold her back anymore.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
She was about to call for Spike when she remembered she had sent him away. She had sent him up to Canterlot on some bogus errand she couldn’t even remember so he would be out of the way when Rainbow came home. But now she had a problem; there was somepony at the door, and Twilight didn’t want to get out of bed.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Whoever it was they were being persistent. Gathering what strength she could muster, Twilight stood slowly from her bed, her blanket still wrapped around her shoulders. As she approached he door she passed her desk, sitting on top was a pristine cyan feather. With a flick of her horn she put it back where it belonged; behind her ear. She may lose Rainbow Dash, but she’d still have her feather. She would never forget her.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“ALRIGHT!” Twilight yelled, her annoyance giving her the energy to make it down the stairs and to the door. She opened it, fully intending to chew out anypony who would disturb her at such an hour. To her shock, opening the door revealed a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and a confident smile on her face.
“R-Rainbow?” Twilight stuttered, taken aback at the sudden appearance.
“I choose you!” Rainbow said proudly, her smile widening to a grin as she puffed her chest out. Her eyes flashed to the side briefly, to brief for Twilight to see where she looked, but long enough that she noticed it. He mind, however, didn’t pay attention to it as she wrapped a hoof around Rainbow’s neck, dragging her in for a kiss.
When she broke the kiss she caught a glimpse of something shiny out of the corner of her eye. She turned to look at it, only for the dark of the night conceal it from her. Her focus was brought back to Dash as she gave her one more hug and motioned to the inside of the library. “Mind if I crash here tonight?”
“Of course, Rainbow.” Twilight smiled brightly as she stepped aside, letting Dash into her house. Whatever she had seen was instantly forgotten as she watched her marefriend trot happily into her home. Into her life.
Twilight awoke the next morning to the sun streaming through her windows like she had countless times before. But this time was different, this time she wasn’t alone. This time there were cyan legs wrapped around her midsection; holding her tightly to a cyan body behind her. The steady rising and falling of Rainbow’s chest nearly rocking her back to sleep as her heart pulsed rhythmically against her back. She smiled as she closed her eyes. How many times had she awoken without the safe feeling she now had? Too many for her to count, but now it all seamed like a bad dream. Rainbow was there, with her, for her.
Her sigh caused the pegasus to shift. She too opened her eyes.
“Morning Twilight.” She said groggily.
“That’s odd; she normally calls me Twi, especially in the morning.” Twilight thought, but quickly pushed the errant thought out of her mind. There was no reason for her to doubt Rainbow, not after she had chosen her over the Wonderbolts.
“Morning Rainbow.” Twilight replied, rubbing her eyes to clear her vision. Today was a big day, and they needed to get up. They had to tell their friends about her decision; Pinkie would probably throw a party. Twilight giggled at the thought, Pinkie would throw a party for any happy occasion, but was it still happy when Rainbow had to give up her dream for it?
“Not morning yet, you can get up if you want, but I’m sleeping in.” Rainbow released her grip on Twilight and rolled over. Again Twilight found this odd; Rainbow never slept in once she was up. Twilight just sighed and chalked it up to the stress of being a Wonderbolt for two months and got out of bed. She headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. The cyan feather discarded on her desk. She didn’t need it anymore; she had the real thing now.