Comedy4,730 stories ·1,291 members
An evil villain comes to Ponyville and captures the Mane 6. He then enslaves Equestria under his grasp, but their will come a hero, and his name is Tom the Rock. Will this villain be too much for Tom though? And will Tom fulfill his destiny? Also, Who stole the chocolate cake in Twilight's fridge? Find out in this epic tale of Rock hard proportions!!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I always ship Rarity with Tom. With her penchant for drama, she needs someone solid.
Thumbed up for being incredibly crazy.
2150812 i know... I know
2150812 I just love this soooo much I laugh at it like 2,000 times man
Tom... You have a heart of gold.
Okay. I, personally, didn't like it. It's a crazy, and awesome, concept, but the way you structure your paragraphs... I usually use TWO taps of that enter key, and then an indent, but that's me. Also, you end up using "Tom" Too much. Try replacing some uses of his name with "He".
Those are my two-cents.
You don't have to listen, but I'm only trying to help.
-Sonic
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2162068 I see what you are saying my man. I will see what I can do about that then.
I'm really enjoying this story, but the audience is right. The narrator interrupts too much.
And I don't know why, but when I read this story, it magically cures writing block. No idea why. But I'm fine with that.
2168111 Well don't you all worry... remember that a new narrator is going to be hired. His name is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Ohhhhhhhhh spoilers. No I am just kidding. We will soon see what the new narrator is going to be called, and hopefully, just hopefully, he won't interrupt way too much.
The mineral puns going around are gold. Also this seems interesting... Reading later.
2183370 cool thanks
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Okay, what is all this meta doing here?
2194080 What meta are you talking about?
That cover pic is glorious.
2197255
The amount of times the narrator interrupts the story.
2255165 I don't know but it has to be a ton.
2255135 lol got it from memebase on my little brony.
Okay guys... The story has been completed.... hope you enjoyed it.
Pretty interesting story :). I would suggest working in your punctuation and avoiding excessive use if the phrases "I mean...", and "anyway(s)". But it's a pretty entertaining story, all in all.
2544513 Thanks me man... I will edit it one of these days...
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I mean that in a good way