A decrepit asylum, once a place for those deemed to be insane, stands from a time where the Shadow King and Crystal Princess ruled over its halls. To an outsider in the current age, the forest where it resides is empty, and a gloomy silence is all that remains of the asylum's once horrific past.
But when a bet drives Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy to investigate the asylum, they learn that the edifice isn't as abandoned as they thought. Trapped within the asylum frozen in time, the pair must enlist help from other inmates to escape before they fall prey to insanity and the rumored curse upon the inhabitants.
First of the Arcane Night Series, a planned group of stories inspired by Nox Arcana albums and comments. Based off of the Youtube RP on the Nox Arcana album, "Blackthorn Asylum"
They say that music can inspire people, and apparently it inspires me to write grimdarks!
This was basically inspired by thhe Nox Arcana album "Blackthorn Asylum", as there was a sort of mini-RP going on in the Youtube comments for the video. Then after I noticed they RP'd on some other Nox Arcana album vids too, I thought "What the hay, how about I do a series inspired by the music and RPs on these albums?" Then I got some more plot-expansion inspiration and thus, my first series in the pony fiction realm is born!
Also, I snuck in a reference to a certain anime I like in this first chapter... shouldn't be too hard to find it if you're familiar with the anime in question.
Is the anime Death Note
2302131 Eeyup!
I've kinda become a fan of it, as twisted as it is...
There's nothing wrong with liking things dark and twisted truth be told I'm pretty fond of the Rainbow Factory song and the fanfic inspired by the song.
Its such a earworm both the original song and the nightmare fuel remix
2302340 I do agree, Rainbow Factory is awesome.
...I'm going to assume that the two-part season two finale isn't canon here. The same with the first two episodes of the third season.
2303937 Well, as the tags say, it is AU.
So yeah, they aren't canon.... in fact it's completely AU, because the other characters we know and love will appear in the following chapters.
This shall be interesting………watching with expectancy
2306656 There may be a few surprises with the inmates.
2306794 Will the inmates be anypony we recognize,Like Applejack or The not so great and powerful Trixie
2309734 Yeah, there will be ponies who are immediately recognizable.
I like Nox Arcana but this has a lot of awkward phrases. For example "concealing atmosphere". That's not a combination of words that really makes sense in English. Do you mean mist or fog? You also say the "large stone building resided in the center of the first". First what? Do you mean forest? There's quite a few other bits like that, I recommend you get a proof-reader.
2311717 Dang.... cripe, sorry about that, I thought I got all the errors but apparently I didn't.
Sometimes it's easy to miss spelling/grammar errors when you're reading your own work.
And yeah, you're right about the wording, time for me to fix that!
Love the concept. I personally thought that it would have been better if you left out the scene with Cadance and Sombra talking to make it more mysterious but, you probably had a good reason for putting that in there.
I'll press on.
Silver out!
Whew, this chapter ended up being a lot longer than I originally intended, but it was still fun to write, especially introducing a few of the asylum's inhabitants. They were really fun to write.
Hope you enjoyed it, and stay tuned for the next chapter!
2385973 Didn't expect what, might I ask?
2386200 It's AU for a reason.
Hence why Cadance and Sombra are working together.
2386214 And thus their "friends" aren't their friends (at least not yet...)
Awesome chapter. Lots of unexplained stuff going on right now.
Silver out!
2387052 Unexplained stuff? Just as planned.
2387441
More obscure than a Tool song man!
Silver out!
2387557 Never heard of Tool, but I still appreciate your comment on the obscurity.
Any particular parts you liked, or guesses of later stuff?
2387605
Naw, I was in the mood for something creepy when I saw this and it looks like it'll deliver so I gave it a shot.
As for Tool...
This song is about the fear of becoming a father for the first time.
That kind of obscure.
Silver out!
Ok, I have evaluated your story. You have my permission to place it on the main page. Good luck!
Insane Asylum's are always creepy especially the abandoned ones
2712973 Thanks!
2723438 Exactly why I decided to base this on that particular Nox Arcana album.
2723476 You might find this interesting But did you know that the band's name refers to two different subjects. For example Nox was said to be the the roman name for Nyx a primordial goddess worshipped by the ancient greeks centuries ago. Nyx's areas of influence included the night and because of her children Thanatos and Charon death. And I think the Major and Minor arcana's.
2723666 Also Nox was a Latin word for night - hence why it's called the Arcane Nights series.
Hello! It's Sparkler Hooves from A For Effort, and I'm here to review this book!
Grammar: 9.5/10 Just one thing...
I would suggest using italics instead of caps at some parts.
Spelling: 9.9/10 Just this little thing...
Originality: 10/10 Never seen anything like it! Good job :)
Characters: 10/10 I think that the character choices were really good! I like Cadance being all >:)
Sypnosis: 10/10 Really caught my attention and I want to read on :)
Verdict
APPROVED
Good job :)
2727986 Glad you liked it!
I hope to have an update soon.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
3734809 I tried once, but they said that I needed a bit more expansion or something, and I distinctly remember them saying that I distinctly needed to indicate why I made Cadance and Sombra in particular the villains despite it being AU.
I'll probably expand a bit on that and possibly try to submit it again.
Nox Arcana is a huge inspiration for me. It pleases me to see that other brony authors also enjoy their mix between eerie and beautiful.
I'd have liked to know more on how Twilight was put in there and her relationship with Cadance.
9349459
You'll find out eventually! Hoping to post the next chapter soon-ish!