Twilight has left for Canterlot on short notice while another pony's plans were ready to take place. Now that Twilight is back the plans can commence once again but what news from Canterlot will Twilight bring back with her?
Chapters (6)
broniefrom93
Joined 25th Jan, 2012 ·
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I'm sorry, but I have no idea what the point of this story is. The summary certainly doesn't give any clues (hint hint). And no offence, but your grammar is all over the place. The entire thing is just plain awkward to read. It also doesn't help that the first chapter is too short to get any sense of what's happening.
So Rainbow
's Twilight? Interesting 
165447 This is a giant work in progress and i have an idea with where I'm going with it. At first I wasn't sure but now that I have some of the first chapter done i know where to go with it. Sadly however grammar has never been a strong point for me at all
I would like to say that this is pretty good, while these guys are saying that it is bad that you did not give any real hints as to what is going to cause the end of the world, I think it is good, gives the reader a reason to come back.
But yeah the grammar could use work, if you need a pre reader, my schedule is pretty hectic but I am willing to help.
177283 actually i added the "end of the world" part after their comments. i originally ended it when she arrived at the party. adding a main conflict at the very end allows me to use the rest of the story on that problem of averting a world crisis.
Well, Broniefrom93/defaultpwns, it is so far a decent story. Like another user mentioned, not much detail. You can, however, make that go for you easily. If you do not yet have an editor, would you consider me for the position?
177317 i need all the help i need.
177326
Yay! I do love editing....
some mistakes but it still was well written
177369 Thank you1 I'm working on improving it soon so be sure to check back soon@
177366 awesome, if you could just copy this to a word doc, make you're changes then send it to me that would be great
oh frist yay
good chapter and fic so far keep it up
212128 "oh frist"? and thanks! I'm working hard on it
dude this fan fic is legit awesome
dude now I just want to cry.
>Incomplete
I nearly had a heart attack.
386620 Sorry but that's actually it. I might make another story as a squeal to this but I'm not sure at this point
386549 Really? I was going for the "this gave me a feel" story and you kinda helped me see I achieved that. The title hit me first and the story wrote its self.
I vote for Luna. This fandom needs more Luna.
can i cry know trapped forever without rainbow that wores then being dead i WANT TWILIGHT TO COME HOME!
Yeah I was hoping for some sort of happy ending. Nice story either way. As for your next story... Go for Broke!
388301 Yeah i can attest to that but to carry on this universe or a new one with twilight still home? or even just before this crisis.
388454 Yes, yes you can cry and we are here to help
388538 Sorry, like i said i wanted to go for the "feel" story. and thanks!
Good story man!
Though I'm bawling my eyes out....
Um If I may say this I'd like to see this universe come back so Twilight can come home and see Rainbow Dash again......please?
390192 Firefly? and i could work with it, idk if i want to her to come back because then it takes away from her being locked away. Like when a major character always finds a way through the problem, then all the dangers dont seem as real.
well fug.
i mean this was good but the ending kinda felt like a rude bitch-slap in a weird way. You're reading along getting further in the chapters and they keep getting closer and closer to the crystal. You're getting all ready for them to win and dash will tell her feelings to twilight, and twilight(apprehensive at first) returns them and everypony lives happily ever after 
. but then she gets trapped and sir broniefrom93 delivers a swift bitch slap to that happy ending with a defiant NOPE
! but then your hopes start to build when dash gets to talk to her and you're like maybe her love will free her and destroy the crystals power and twilight and dash will live happily ever after
! but then without fail broniefrom93 comes back around for one more go with another defiant bitch slap and one final NOPE
! then it's the end. and you're just like, well fug.
at least that's how i felt.
Although i may not agree with the ending i must say the story was very good
. It felt like an actual episode in my opinion. the pace was not to fast, but not to slow either. many fan fictions would seriously drag out many of the smaller parts, which isn't necessarily bad, but the pace of this one definitely added to my enjoyment of it. the only things that would prevent this from being a real episode was the romance factor, the progression of the mane 6's respective businesses, and the ending. but that's why this is fan fiction right
? I enjoyed the story but like so many others, i wouldn't mind seeing maybe a short alternate ending chapter to get rid of the sad. you're the author so you decide cause i can be happy with just this ending too. either way, cool story bro!
442730 Thanks a ton, thats the longest and most comprehensive comment i've gotten so far. and if you look up top it say "sad' so its going to be a sad story. I'm in the process of writing a sequel that will more or less finish it up. Sometimes a character has to die, or in this case disappear, to show all the others their mortality and forced to come with terms with it. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
567670 her accent was the HARDEST for me, i couldnt get it down. DEAL with it, the ending is ment to be BAM! Inst-a-sad