airin6ixxx
Joined 21st Jul, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Banops · 7.1k words · 10 2 · 484 views
- SkankMaster · 16k words · 78 6 · 2.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.146 seconds
Total duration
942 users online
498,459 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow, I've always loved Madness Combat but I never thought I'd see the day where it was crossed over with MLP.
You receive a moustache.
Well, this certainly has potential. Dialog seems a tad disjointed and there exist numerous spelling and grammatical errors. Considering the content of Madness Combat, it's easy to see this actually happening. Events seem to be going a bit fast though; I'd try to slow it down a bit.
Aside from that, this story has quite a bit of potential; we'll just wait and see where it goes.
I'm actually suprised to see that this story has good Feedback. I atleast expected it to be
All like people hunting me down like a dog.
Good...Good.
Well well well... A new Madness fic? And it's looking pretty good so far? :D
But I think 152 got used to the fact that he's in a new world with talking ponies with non Madness colours a bit too quickly though :|
But what ever, I mean... Madness >:D (And if it's alright with you, I'll be adding this to My Madness group)
2115371 I have an answer to that,;
I mean... Uh... *Cough Cough*Hismask*Cough*
Ok this is original right here I have never seen a maddness fanfic with a crossover awesome.
Ah, Now it makes sense, yellow visor
Silly me :P
I bet the ponies will be surprised that he has yellow blood, hehe.
i know whats happening
Ok so is there going to be any funny stuff with this guy like him dancing or something that would be funny. The first soundtrack from madness would be funny.
let the madness take you
OH HOLY LORD, THE GRAMMAR! IT BURNS!
I would rewrite this as "Shock and fear filled me as I watched the horrendous sight play out before me. This strange creature had just began to convulse some strange, yellow liquid and collapsed on the floor. It was when the body began to twitch that a black flame appeared over his head."
The story itself still has some potential; in fact having 152 down in out like this in the early chapters can pay off if done right. The primary problems right now are the grammar, punctuation, and sentence flow. Not to mention that I spotted a few sentences with lowercase "i's" instead of the proper uppercase.
Again this story still has potential, and the actual content of the chapter was decent. You just need to work on your conveyance as a writer, as I believe it's called.
2130253 Yes... I just did this randomly. I probably WILL rewrite this soon. But i'm really not in the mood right now. I wasn't either when I wrote this chapter, so... REWRITE SOOOOON.
Aha I knew it, He's been Infected!
Now he's one of these guys:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120520035237/madnesscombat/images/3/31/DemonATP_basic.png
Minus the eyes and the gun :P
2134636 On the Contuary. He does have Red eyes, but they're closed.
Haha, I like this Agent :D
That was a nice transition to 'my universe' :)
Ha-ha! :D
You've done a brilliant job at 'My Universe'
But I was also expecting a little tussle with S&D and 152, but eh. :P
Oh god kids let this be a lesson never trust a guy with a chocolate bar. Even if its a Hershey bar....
It's RAPING TIME!
Just how I wanted it to go :D
On a side note... They better cure Twilight pretty soon D:
Jesus, and Mint Chip Ice-Cream. Tears of laughter are blasting out of my eyes like a fire hose.
ATP agents are pretty fragile, RD must've broken his insides to mush.
...And it took AGES just for him to notice.
I noticed how Twilight is nonchalant about him being an omnivore.
...Wew.
Looks like a new protagonist is born... and its from the AAHW too
no chapter for almost a month!!!
2392091 Yeah, about that, it will come soon, just working on it now. maybe out by wedsnday, or Thursday.
2247306 they are better than grunts and can dodge bullets
2115371 ALL HAIL THE WIMBLETON! HE IS THE DARK MESSIAH!!!!
2393126 what happened.
2393126 is it dead?
I'm sad that there has not been a new chapter for a few years.
WHY
So what's going on here is good
Hank please don't kill me
I never knew 152 was going to become a badass
You should bring in a a.t.p soldat
I doubt this will get updated anytime soon, owner hasn't touched fimfiction since 2015. It was a good story nonetheless.