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Labyrinth

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Comments ( 6 )

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Swirls

Swirls #1 · Jul 12th, 2013 · · ·

Nice story, but you could use an editor. Try capitalising the last name on ponies.

pinkachu

pinkachu #2 · Jul 12th, 2013 · 1 · ·

2865148 Ok, thank you for the advice

Flying-Claw

Flying-Claw #3 · Jul 12th, 2013 · · ·

I'm not the biggest fan of grimdark - But it's nice written, that can't be denied :).

Just a few things:
- Try to add a little bit more description to "manage" the pacing. The twilight-becomes-squished-scene for example is WAY to fastpaced.

(Excuse my bad english =$)

pinkachu

pinkachu #4 · Jul 12th, 2013 · · ·

2866331 Thank you so much for the criticism and favourite!

Stanchamedes

Stanchamedes #5 · Jul 24th, 2013 · · ·

I'm pretty sure I cried. Pinkie's death was too much to handle.

Luna is one of my favourite characters though. I suppose the purpose of GrimDark is to horrify you and- oh who am I kidding trying to seem as if I hate GrimDark
GODDAMN THIS WAS AMAZING.

pinkachu