Admittedly, This Was Inevitable
The days passed pretty simply in the beginning. I'd go to class and Rarity would stay in my room watching the show. It did hit her pretty hard, knowing that in my world she was a cartoon character but she took it in stride. I think that the thing that really hit her the hardest was knowing that she had a sister back in Equestria, a sister that she was very fond of. Of course, that made it all the harder for her to watch Season 2 Episode 5 where she treats Sweetie Belle so poorly in the first half.
I walked into my room after a particularly difficult writing test that I was pretty sure I had bombed to hear crying coming from my bedroom. Curious, I walked inside to see Rarity curled up in a ball on my bed, crying her eyes out with my computer closed behind her. I frowned and walked over to her. "What's wrong?" I asked.
Rarity sniffled and had to take a few deep breaths before she could answer. "I...I watched an episode a-and it had me and Sweetie Belle in it."
Okay, that obviously wasn't the big issue since she had been elated by the fact that she had a sister when she found out about it. "So you saw a Sweetie Belle episode," I said. "What's so upsetting about that?"
Rarity sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof. "I...I was so mean to her!" she said. "I said nasty things to her like that I would be better off with no sister! I wouldn't be surprised if she never forgave me for that!" She resumed her sobbing. "I don't know if I want to go back to Equestria; I don't think I could look Sweetie Belle in the eye, knowing I had treated her like that!!"
Ah, so that was the issue.
I tentatively patted Rarity on the head and cleared my throat. "Uh, look, Rarity, siblings fight all the time. It's practically in the definition of a sibling. Do you think that I never fought with my sister?"
"But I told her that I would be better off with no sister!" she wailed. "That wasn't normal sibling, that was a downright evil thing to say!"
I scoffed at her. "Do you think that I never said any of that to my sister growing up? It was practically a catchphrase during our fights which were the stuff of legends in our house. Do you know what, though? We made up. We learned from what made us fight and over time we fought a lot less. We both told each other that we wish the other had never been born but we didn't really mean it. We're best friends now."
Rarity sniffled again and rolled over to face me with wide, watery eyes. "Really?" she whimpered.
I do my best to smile and nod. "Yeah. I'm sure that you didn't mean it and I'm sure that's the message of the episode. I really doubt that the two of you hate each other for the rest of the series. Heck, I know you don't because I saw how you two interacted when I was in Equestria. You're pretty close."
Rarity glanced uneasily at my computer but she sat up and used her magic to turn it back on. The picture on the screen was one of Rarity and Sweetie Belle fighting. They did look pretty angry with each other but I knew that they made up in the end. Rarity scooted over so I could sit on the bed too and we watched the rest of the episode together. She hugged me close when Sweetie Belle told Rarity that Applejack was her new sister but she eventually calmed down as the episode progressed and it was revealed that they made up.
Having said that, even she didn't fall for the mud trick that the two of them pulled. She giggled when Applejack went in and Rarity covered in mud came out, not buying it for a second that it was still Applejack.
it only took her about a week to finish the series. I watched Season 3 with her just to make sure I could hold my own in a conversation with Ben in case the situation ever arose. Being in Equestria meant that I knew all about the events of the first two seasons, and more than the creators themselves knew actually, but watching the third would help me keep my Brony cover.
No, watching the third season did not make me a Brony. Yes there were some cute parts in one or two of the episodes, and having met her, I can say that the Too Many Pinkies episode was downright nightmarish. Bronies may laugh, but when there are thirty Flanderizations of the mare who set you on fire... *shudder*
So now we enter the third week of Rarity's stay on Earth. I am disappointed that no sign of Celestia or the other five members of the Mane Six have appeared and its making me steadily nervous. I haven't seen any of my family since I came up to college but Kristen has been dropping hints that she's like to see my room which is a problem for me. She's going to want a full tour which means that my best bet is hiding Rarity in the shower or under the bed, both of which I know she'd absolutely hate. Not only that, but the day that Kristen is most likely to show up is Sunday after she's done with homework and there is no way that Rarity is going to want to be under my bed or in my shower for five hours while Kristen and I watch football, which she'll definitely want to do. On that train of thought, she'll want to do that every Sunday since I'm the one with access to a TV.
This...this might be really bad.
I open the door to my room with our lunches to find Rarity on the couch sewing up a pair of shorts that lost a button. I found a place that sold that kind of stuff about a week after Rarity came to Earth and I bought her some of the bare basics. In fact, we're tossing around advertising the fact that 'I' can do repairs so we can earn a little cash off of this and she can spend her time doing something she loves. We still have to work out the details of that. Of course, if we did then I could possibly afford fabrics for her to make actual clothes out of.
She looks up from her work when she sees me walk in and glances hungrily at the boxes. I nod and place the one for her in front of her and she puts my shorts aside and eagerly digs in. I sit on my chair and am less enthusiastic about my food, something that Rarity notices. "Father, is something that matter?" she asks.
I sigh and rub my temples. "Rarity... um, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep you a secret."
Rarity freezes with an apple slice halfway to her mouth. She blinks once or twice then puts the slice back in the box. "And...and why is that?"
I scratch the back of my head and put my box of food down on the table. "Well, I told you that I have a sister that's up here, right? Well, she's going to come over tomorrow to watch football all day and I don't think that I can hide you that long. At some point I'm going to bring you food or you'll have to go to the bathroom or something and then the secret will get out."
Rarity looks down and focuses her attention on her food. "And you can't do this another time or not do it?" she asks.
I shake my head. "I'm the only one of the two of us who has a TV and I don't want to leave you alone for that long anyway. Besides, I told her that I can't for the past two weeks and I don't think I can do it again. She'll just tell me to forget my homework for that day and come over whether I want her to or not. I can't slam the door in her face."
Rarity slowly nods. "Is she a, what did you call them, Brony?"
"No but she has a friend who is," I say. "He got her to watch a few episodes, so she definitely knows who you are."
"Oh dear," Rarity mutters.
Oh dear indeed.
I sigh and rub my temples before leaning back on my chair. I'm of two minds: one says that I try to hide her and hope for the best, the other one says that I just come out and tell Kristen and hope that nothing goes wrong. She's not the kind of person who would panic and call Mom and Dad about something like this.
...right? R-Right?
Rarity sighs and resumes fixing my shorts. "I suppose we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it, but I don't see how you can avoid telling her. I mean, I certainly don't want to hide in a damp shower or under a dusty bed for six hours while football is going on. I'd inevitably make some noise such as a sneeze that would cause her to hear me, would I not?"
"I'm thinking that's the case, yes," I say.
"So should we just tell her?" asks Rarity.
I sigh and look over at the door as if I'm expecting somebody to knock right then and there. The other side is silent, though, so I opt for an answer. "Yeah, I think we do."
* * * *
"Father, stop pacing around the room. I'm sure that Aunt Kristen will react to this will quiet dignity and grace."
"The last time somebody in my family reacted to a pony in front of them with 'quiet dignity and grace' I punched Princess Celestia in the face."
Rarity waves her hoof at me. "Yes, yes, I know all about that. But surely the females of your family are more level-headed?"
"Kristen is the type of person who owns a motorcycle, went skydiving, wants to go bungee jumping in the Royal Gorge; not to mention the fact that she's the one in our family that embraced her Canadian heritage far more than her American one."
"So she has a bit of a wild side. That doesn't mean that she'll completely panic and ruin the whole thing does it?"
"I don't know and that's what's bugging me," I say. "It's a fifty-fifty shot."
"When is she coming over again?"
"The Broncos/Raiders game starts in fifteen minutes so it'll be any--"
Knock, knock, knock, knock.
"--second now."
My heart skips a beat and I turn to my filly charge. "Rarity, go to my room for now."
She cocks her head. "But--"
"Please just do as I ask right now. I'm losing my nerve here."
Rarity sighs but trots to my room and shuts my door behind her. I groan and take a few deep breaths before walking over to my door and opening it revealing, of course, my smiling sister.
"Hey, TD!" she says happily. "How's it going?"
"It's going..." My voice cracks and I clear my throat. "It's going well."
Kristen perceptively raises an eyebrow but she decides to shrug it off as just a random thing. I see that she's carrying a bag of Doritos in one hand and a case of Dr. Pepper in the other so I take the Dr. Pepper for her and put it down on the table. She places the chips next to it and breaks open the case so she can get one of the sodas.
"So, kickoff is in ten minutes, right?"
"Ish," I say, turning the TV on.
"We're so totally going to massacre them!" she says excitedly. "We crushed those morons in black 37-6 last time and we have Manning so there's no way they'll get jack done."
"I myself suspect that Miller and Dumervil are going to get to Palmer at least four times, yes."
"Harris gonna get two picks?" Kristen giggles.
"To compliment one from Bailey, yes," I say.
The two of us smile at each other and I flip to the channel hosting the game. I take a soda for myself when I find the channel and the familiar sight of a cheering crowd and armored men in bright orange uniforms warming up on the field enters my vision. Kristen plops down on the couch and I sit next to her.
I missed this when I was in Equestria; I missed this quite a lot. The chips, the soda, the football, the family, it almost makes me forget that I have Rarity in my...
Oh yeah... I have a filly Rarity in my room.
I groan and put my head in my hands and rub my temples. Son of a gun, how am I going to get around this one?
My sister notices me and frowns. "You okay, dude?" she asks.
"I don't know," I mumble.
"Girl troubles?" she guesses.
"You have no idea," I grumble.
She raises an eyebrow in interest and the first faint trace of a smirk comes on her face. "In-te-resting," she says. "Why is this the first that I have heard of it?"
"Because it's complicated. More complicated than you can possibly imagine."
Kristen scoffs. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. You're a level-headed enough guy that..." she pauses and frowns. "Okay you're not so dumb that you'll intentionally break her heart. It can't be that complicated."
"It's so complicated that you'd walk out and call Mom if you found out. That's on top of the fact that the government might take both of us away never to be seen again if it got too out of hand."
Kristen shoots me an absolutely bewildered look and turns off the TV. "Dude... what the heck is going on? Who is this girl?"
"Her name is Rarity," I mumble.
Kristen frowns. "Huh... that's the same name of one of the characters in that My Little Pony show that one of my friends likes, right?"
I groan as the first traces of physical pain overtake my stomach. Why can't I tell her? Should I tell her? Well, it's too late to just pass it off as nothing; I'm reacting too heavily for that.
"Dude... who the heck is this girl?"
"I...I...I..." I take a few deep breaths. "Rarity, will you come out now?"
"Okay," says Rarity from inside my room.
Kristen's jaw drops and she stands up. I in turn maneuver around her so I'm between her and the door. "Dude, she's here?! What the heck?!"
"Like I said it's complicated," I say as the door opens. "But you have to promise me that you won't do anything rash!"
Kristen's bewildered look increases tenfold but it's too late to call this off now as much as I would love to with all my heart. Maybe this isn't the best idea. Maybe I could have hidden her. Maybe I'm the one who did something rash, maybe… maybe.... maybe...
And there she is, right in Kristen's line of sight. If I thought that Kristen's expression was bewildered before, it has nothing on the look of sheer horror that has graced her face now. Rarity is sitting on her haunches in front of my sister who has backed up a few feet.
"Hi Aunt Kristen," says Rarity.
With that my sister's brain breaks and she sits back down on the couch. She can only stare in pure shock as a cartoon character who just called her 'Aunt Kristen' sits in front of her. Her mouth is moving up and down like a fish as she struggles to find something, anything to say to this. Admittedly I wouldn't have the next clue of what to say either.
"Kristen, are you okay?" That's all I can really think of to say right now. The best I can hope for is that it snaps her out of this… whatever she's in.
Thankfully it has the desired effect and my sister blinks once just to make sure that what she's seeing isn't fake and that things aren't more complicated and out of hand than she can possibly imagine. "TD... would you mind explaining this to me? Why did a cartoon pony from a little girl's show just call me 'Aunt Kristen' and why is she living in your room?"
"You know, your guess is as good as mine," I say. "I walked in one day and saw her in a box on my table three weeks ago. I've been taking care of her ever since."
Kristen slowly nods and grabs her soda and takes a long gulp. When she finishes, she continues staring at Rarity. "Why did this pony end up in a box in your room?" she asks, raising the soda to her lips once more.
"I don't know but it probably has something to do with the two months I spent in Equestria."
Perfect spit-take.
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Wait... spit-take... and Rarity is siting right in front of her... next chapter is gonna start out fun.
THE LAUGHING!
*calms down*
you are a champion my friend!
Bwahaahahaha. heh,heh
okay i'm calm, i'm calm.
*deep breaths* *pfft* Bwahwahahhhaaha
I just can't stop laughing.
OMG SO BRILLIANT!
2126141
i dont even know who dashie is! (i hope she cant read minds. i know dashie is just testing her)
2126834 corection: between know and dashie i meant to put who
OH GOD. THE PAIN OF LAUGHING
Oh boy! This is going to be good!
So like...this is cool and all....but what about the story where doesn't go back?
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So many.
2127004 It's been in the hands of my editor for about a week now. I don't know why he hasn't gotten it back to me.
Wow, I actually laughed out loud at the end there. Very happy that this didn't go the "successfully hide pony from everybody" route!
Still loving it, and the Sisterhooves Social part was very clever. Maybe tomorrow Rarity can do a spit-take when his Brony friend busts the door down screaming about the Twipocolypse.
Heres some more spit takes.
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TD's sisters reaction ourgemcodes.com/forums/attachments/funny-fma-gif-anime-18874095-312-297-gif.25967/
The shit got shoved in the party cannon
Everything I hear this song it reminds me a little bit of TD [youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7xzU9Qqdqww]
This song
Ahh, the enjoyment of people meeting ponies. It never gets old...
My reaction in her shoes?
"Well, if a character from a show had to become real, I'm very glad it wasn't a weeping angel."
2127614 Don't blink, Kristen! I haven't blinked in three weeks because of this thing!
Smooth move, TD. How is he gonna see himself out of this one?
I ment to ask this a few chapters back when you mentioned it but do you actually live in Colorado?
2128343 Born and raised.
2128390 Oh snap! Where, if you don't mind me asking?
2128403 Highlands Ranch but I'm in Greeley for college. Yeah, TD's a self-insert (surprise surprise) so if it applies to him it applies to me 95% of the time. The cover art for this story is just me with a Rarity pic photoshopped in.
Oh god it's so perfect... XD
That was brilliant.
2128417 Fun - Creepy - I kinda feel like a stalker
- but still fun - fact:
I literally live about an hour and a half away from Highlands Ranch and live, like, half an hour away from Greeley... I think... Though there is a possible chance that I live, like, five minutes away from your house because I know of two different Highlands Ranches but I doubt you're talking about the second one. So yeah...
Sir you churn out the best work I have read in a while and unless the website is wrong you put it out daily. how?
Are you a god?
2128746 Nope, I have a lot of free time, moreso than I probably should. On Monday and Wednesday, for example, I have one 8 AM class and then nothing for the rest of the day.
I much prefer him in his home world. He was always bitter in equestria.
2129380 Can you blame him?
2129394
Can't really blame anybody but yourself for the way you act, unless under the influence of changelings. Or alcohol. Drunk changelings might be funny. Its his character which is what makes the story good, and hes dedicated to earth. Your ability to control yourself is your own responsibility
2129487 True, but he's going through a pretty crappy situation in all four TD fics.
Hmm... I think that if I were TD, and I had to spill the beans...
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This is turning out so much better than My Little Dashie.
just the fact that rarity gets to interact with other people makes this much more entertaining than my little dashie
Ho TD droppin dem loads
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Pretty good Chapter! Just one thing I noticed:
Should be: "She looks UP"
Good job on the story so far!
2159499
Yes! Only thing I want is for one of these T.D.s to meet, as I call her, Twilicorn. Yeah, catchy, right?!
I always check what I'm drinking before I do a spit-take
2485423 i always turn towards the person talking when i do a spit take. That way the shock is two sided.
I like the part where his sister broke her brain seeing Rarity.
you are my new favorite person.
and dangit, I need to be at work at 7 tomorrow! So many unread chapters!
3134377
I liked that part too.
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I am SO glad I didn't read this chapter at work. I had a few smiles I couldn't hide in front of my boss (he can't complain! It was my dinner time break!), but roaring laughter would probably made him angry.
This is just. I don't know. Perfect comedy?