A tale following Copper Feather as he tries his best to retire, but things aren't as simple as he'd like. He may be done with his job, but his job isn't done with him. Copper is put in a situation where he can either do a lot of good, or a lot of damage. More damage than he has already. Now he has a chance to fix things, to set things right.
(Complete.)
((Story editing assistance by Amneiger))
((Last Updated: March 25th, 2017))
Author Note: When I had originally started writing this I had been a bit hesitant to post it anywhere, not sure why. I'm not afraid of any sort of negative feedback, it's just I wasn't sure it was really...up to snuff, ya know? I tried to sort of get the characters right, and I feel I hit close enough.
Oh well. Shameless oc forcement into an alternate version of Equestria? I dunno. I rather enjoy steampunk, which is what I tried to hint at a bit... Though in the world that I've sort of set up, Equestria is more dependent on magic, rather than technology.
The story mostly takes place mostly in Ponyville in the beginning, with sort of flash backs to places that Copper has been, and things that he's done. Then it goes places, and gets rather crazy.
This is a decent, well written story, but the biggest problem I have is the flashbacks, their needs to be something like ---------- or XXXXXXXXXX seperating the , it's confusing and abrupt without them.
I'm interested in where this is headed.
2119933 Very dark places. xD But I'm glad you like it.
2705215 Heheh thanks a lot, I always like hearing when people enjoy my story. ^^ And it would be nice to get more views, but it doesn't really matter all that much to me. I like to think as long as one person enjoys it, it was worth doing, and lots of people have liked this, so it makes it worth it. xD I highly doubt I'll ever see the front page... Especially since there's only one chapter left.
Also, sorry for taking so long to reply, it didn't show I had received any new messages.
Well.
It's over just like that. An arse pull, and then a dues ex Machina. Fitting, actually, all things considered. I have to say that ending seemed really rushed, like you just wanted it to be over. A shame, but I understand.
Overall, the characters were well rounded enough to be interesting all on their own, and the best parts of the story seemed to be in the Ponyville arc, when the characters were the focus. Everything after that seemed a bit like a lucid dream, especially with the whole false god thing. I liked the resurrection side plot though, that was neat.
To assign the story an arbitrary score; Alright/10.
(Posting on a mobile device is hellish...)
2733724 Yeah I feel that it was a little rushed in the end, which I'm kind of annoyed about... But I have had this annoying issue of not being able to focus on it. I kinda just sat down and forced myself to write it... Seemed better to me then waiting another month or two till the need to write struck me again. And by then I might have forgotten all the things I had had planned. Many of them I DID forget, which is unfortunate as it would have been a lot better if I could have put them in...
I have plans for a sequel, currently titled Crossed Gears, which is going to get crazier, but at the same time tone it down slightly? I don't know... All I know is it's going to be fun to write, and hopefully fun to read.
But still, it is a Great story.
9.1/10 for sure!
At the moment: be patient and wait for the sequel.
2855291 only 9? Lol
Well you won't have to wait long for the sequel... Just thinking when would be the appropriate time to start it up.
2856351
If it makes you happy, I'll give you a 9.1 :P
I love it to the max and beyond. Give me MOARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
4012891 Hahah. Well I'm very glad that you like it.
Not sure why Mr and Mrs Cake didn't refer to each other as husband and wife. Liking it so far..
First story where seaponies are mentioned in more detail than "might be a myth." neat how old is this OC?
Placing my bet that Horsh isn't dead.
2705070 I agree!!!!
5502209 Well, to start with your first point, I don't recall Mr. and Mrs. Cake referring to each other as husband or wife in the show, so I think it didn't register in my head that that would be something they would do.
As for seaponies, I have a rather odd fondness for them. Always have. If you're asking how old Copper is...well, that's a very complicated thing. But if you're referring to Jeta, she's 37 when she's first introduced via flash back, and 45-ish when Copper actually goes and visits her. Seaponies in this world age much slower, though they do eventually grow old. I could go on for quite a while about the biology of seaponies, but I think most people would find it quite boring.
Or were you asking about how long ago did I make Copper? Cus that was...4 years ago I believe.
Horsh, is in fact, dead.
Thanks for reading! Hope you'll check out the sequels.
I bet there's more to that story with his wing and Gilda.
Hah, Copper Auditore de Featherenze.
Like it so far, very nice wiring style.
A crippled pegasus defeating a griffon one on one? Now that strains my suspension of disbelief.
Shoo Bee Doo~
I wonder how many species the princesses subjugated when taking over.
It's the cog of destiny!
No, Horsh!
6784699 Yes, crippled because he has a missing wing, but his legs and the rest of him work just fine. Plus he's a decent brawler and got the drop on her, mostly.
5502842 I hope so too.
One of them is named Travis... And Horsh mentioned a Travis...
Ah, yeah, what a humble name for your design, God.
Wait, how did Evale die, she could fly perfectly.
6785552 Dun...dun...DUN!
6785569 Onoes!
Chryssie in da house!
Can't wait to see how it develops, Damn lucky bastard.
Tyrantlestia needs to die, nobody harms Cutelings and lives!
Hmmm, if that's the case, Celestia being a more concealed nightmare version of herself, that'd make a lot of sense. I just hope things will get better for Chryssie and the Cutelings.
Well, Chryssie already has it better.
I like that Luna is on the side of the good guys.
Chestnut is adorable.
I really like your Chryssie.
More scotch for the Cuteling!
Owned.
6786513 Aww. Thank you. I quite like how Chryssie turned out.
Chestnut...
Copper's whole again!
JonSong is cool.
For some reason I imagined Copper visiting Hannibal Lecter.
Should be capital instead of capitol.
Huh, I have a feeling we're going to find out more about Tont.
6787129 Thanks, I missed that.
Chestnut is still a riot. And I like how Chryssie's warmed up to Copper, but retains her snarky attitude.
And so this one ends. It was a fun ride, glad to see a verse with more emphasis on technology and one where changelings are good guys.
I just hope Chryssie is alright.
Why do I have a feeling that Chestnut has gotten royally drunk in Trotland? And I bet Spyglass is eating muffins with Derpy.
Onto the next one!
6787934 Glad you enjoyed it.
Why is only the sequel anthro?
7823951 Technically 2 of the sequels are anthro? But it's because it has to have anthro in it to be labeled as anthro.
This all seems rather sudden. Especially after the somewhat slow start. It skipped all the middle stuff and just went straight to the end it feels.
10341135
Originally this, Chapter 8 I mean, was 2 chapters. But for some reason I condensed it into one. Don't remember why.
Best bughorse returns!
Well, hopefully Jet is dead now.