- Member Since 15th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 17th, 2022
Neon Czolgosz
"Violence for violence is the rule of beasts" - Barack Obama
Neon Czolgosz
Joined 15th Dec, 2011 ·
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MATURE * SEX * GORE
2068747
A ding on the forehead is not gore any more than making out is sex. And it is mature rated, and is tagged with sex?
I'm joking, man :)
Trigger warnings just seem silly to me.
2068760
Just a courtesy, in case there's anyone who gets really squicked out by blood or really freaked out by mixing sex and stimulants. I hope the story makes up for the silly :D
A sequel?! Huzzah!
Dear God, that's hot.
not sure about some sections
but otherwise
unf
edit: i'm upset this didn't get featured. it deserved it, in my opinion.
She screams Rainbow's name when she cums... yeah, sounds right.
By my troth, sirrah, 'tis in deed a lovely little bit of crumpet. Well done!
You win a mustache.
Commence read.
Pip can now enjoy the mornings in a fun way. Seems like Scootaloo shares Rainbow's sensitive hooves.
Rainbow Squeak.
You're getting more elaborate with your writing. There's a mix of asyndeton and polysyndeton that really contributes to the disjointed, confused, first-person narrative you have going on here.
Still not sure about the present tense thing, though. Anyway, good story! I don't think I ever said it, but Pipsqueak's Day Off is probably my favorite slice-of-life story in this fandom.
2068821
Which sections? I pretty much consider you King Boner of Mount Erotica, so any level of feedback from you would be hugely useful and squeeful for me. Glad you unf'd in any case
2068838
specific focus on the hoof using the anatomically correct term, while accurate, was jarring
the ideas in the story are what sell it, it's honestly 'unf' just from the premise
pip's internal dialogue during the first intro of salt is also kind of jarring because, unless we're operating in some vastly ooc universe, he's always seemed kinda proper to me, and you don't use that tone of speech for him later. i understand it's meant to convey the severity of the sudden onset of loss of control, but it's still a bit antithetical.
goddamn
the dialogue is REALLY good, which is probably why i like this so much, because i'm a sucker for emphatic dirty talking. this line in particular;
and further instances of scoot's talking, 'fuck me like rainbow dash' i think you said, goddamn. well done there.
'oh piss' gets overused a bit much, and it's a naturally crass word, which pulls us out of the immediacy and emulative quality of the dialogue otherwise
minor grammar errors otherwise (missing apostrophes), and it's hard to tell where sentences can be constituted 'run-ons' because you're deliberately using a rushed pacing to keep us in the moment (which i think is done very well)
yeah, i really liked this, and that's saying a lot considering how often i see something hit the featured box that's bad enough to close after the first paragraph. really good job dude.
Ill be honest I kind of expected a short multi chaptered clop sequel like Rumble Splits Lickety; but I'm totally stisfied with what I got here. Pipaloo is by far my favorite shipping from PDO.
Well done sir.
Amazing, as per usual.
Is there any chance we'll be seeing more slice-of-life in this universe with the other characters as opposed to clop oneshots? Not that I don't enjoy these.
2069099
Yes, though they're currently on the drawing board, not yet in production.
DAMMMMMMN YOOOOUUUUUU
gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs2/3557632_o.gif
CHUCK FINLEYYYYYYYYYYY
You know why.
You know...
2068754
I was attacked by a trigger warning when I was a kid. I think you should probably put in a trigger warning for trigger warnings.
2069399
Hey, you're the masochist. I never told you to like my clop...
2069404
A thousand apologies. I've added a trigger warning about trigger warnings to the trigger warnings.
2069415
Thanks. It feels like the world is a slightly less cold and harsh place now.
I don't even care what content it is, these character interactions are the best.
Not much to say about this one, Chuck. The only thing I found pretty odd is Scoot not freaking out that she just kicked her boyfriend so hard he bled. I mean, she gasped and pointed it out, but they just went back to screwing. Maybe it's just the salts they took, but had that been me, I'd have stopped to patch him up.
This clop isn't as good and sexy as some of the rest of yours, but it's entertaining nonetheless. Thank you for writing it.
Ooh, the Scootapip is here!
2070672 Drugs R bad, mmmkay? That's why
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JEAQzDI676s/UQ2XxvNwt8I/AAAAAAAAVKU/znCtGxIzvdw/s1600/Flywithme.png 4.bp.blogspot.com/-fk77GGdiDVA/UGQHSr2fJBI/AAAAAAAA6y8/wRPd2zAFzwU/s1600/tumblr_ltdzbbiVDa1qh4hiyo1_500.png
Fucking in a messy garage is so hot.
Well, that was very enjoyable. Though I didn't like how you referred to Scoots' bits as her "sex' like three times in a row.
I suppose I'll check FimFic before bed...
*A WILD CHUCKFINLEY STORY APPEARS*
Well I guess sleep is for later then.
EDIT: Read it, and while it may not be my sort of story, what it is is clop, and not something that reads like most paragraphs were pieced together from old newspapers. Verdict: Good, but failure to wank.
2071312
CHUCKFINLEY STORY USES CLOP!
IT'S SUPER-EFFECTIVE!
Are they still foals? If so you should move this from erotic clop to foalcon, pleasekthx.
2072021
No. Read the description. Sequel to Pipsqueak's Day Off. Not foals.
2072029
Ah, carry on
I got 3 MLP cards in the mail that I needed for my collection today, and this fanfic is the thing that made my day. God bless you and your fanfic writing skills Chuck.
Chuck.... words cannot express the levels of 'unf' that your clop evokes from me (when it doesn't have trigger warnings that scare me
). Bravo good sir, bravo.
I'm not going to lie, you have one of the oddest methods of making what I would normally consider to be unhygienic, offensive to the sense, and outright gross seem somewhat appealing in your clop... though I still find it to be somewhat gross in an indulgent way. I'm not sure if it's the blatantly unapologetic, no holds barred hedonism (which is just another way to say raunchy, raunchy fun) that's evident with everyline, or the fact that you take these bizarre normally taboo topics and turn them into shit that I'm just straight hooked on. It's not even just your clopfics, it's your writing in general. The style is just s casual and simple about itself, that it just works. I mean personally, I'd have abstained from the majority of stories about ponies and anything drug related, but you've managed to make it strangely accessible in an appealing way. For example, this story and its focus on blood, salts, and filth is something that would normally turn me off, but you've somehow sewn all three together into a novella that I can't just put down. I'm not sure if it's because of the preexisting set-up and characterization from Pipsqueak's Day Off, or because I'm secretly lying to myself about what I'm actually into, or the sexually comedic situations etched in here, but I just can't not want to stop. However as much literary enjoyment as I got out of this, I could not clop to it sadly, too tired to even try
, and I keep getting this mental smell of unbathed Scootaloo, covered in cum. It wouldn't be as bad if she weren't orange, but she is oh so very orange. Out of the sequels though, this one is probably the most forgettable especially in the shadow of Rumble Splits Lickety, but it's good to have closure after that fight in the final chapter of PDO.
Loathe,
Your Antagonist
Ah, well that seems reasonable for you to-
Wait
wat
2127366
See the comments...
2127433
Fuck.
At last, someone who can make Pipsqueak sound English, not like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins!
2068838 King Boner of Mount Erotica? Hmmm. This requires a notepad.
Not even gonna lie, I fapped to this, past that though, I just sat and read Pip's Day Off, then both of the clop sequels at nearly midnight, and I feel like I was fucking there man, just... just... well done, if a fraction of us could approach even ten percent of the level this story is on, they'd have to pay authors to write fanfics.
which of the two sequels comes first? this one or behind closed doors?
2334946
This one.
2334959 thank ya kindly! quick response too!
So... It has come to this. Time to go-wait... I hate sleep. I'll read the other stuff in the morning.
2068765
But it ruins the surpriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise! LOL, JK.
This story! All of my yes.
Is it natural to say I wanna know what happened next cause that would be awesome to find out
Well now, that's a wingboner!
...Wait, where the hell did those come from!?
Seriously good clop, props.
4459698 M.A. Larson must have given you wings.