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Joined January 2012
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We all know about stories where Humans enter Equestria. But what about a world where Equestria is in the Human world? It is the year 1820, and a series of events brings a young unicorn and a human prince together. Together, they will forge a bond, and go on to change Europe, and the world, forever.
Because that fic has the alternate universe tag as well. It's humanized ponies.
The suggested stories are based on the tags entirely.
You might want to add more tags to get a more comprehensive "suggestion" list. Adventure would work. War maybe later on...
Well of the 4282 stories here, only 276 have "mature" sexual content. So it's not a huge percentage or anything. And many of those are actual stories, just with sex scenes that happen "on page" instead of "off page". Also most of them are awful. Which is great because we get to make fun of them. They are often more preposterous than the gore/glue fics.
Well there are a very very (like count on one hand very) small number of clopfics that are actually "good" objectively. To the point that they can sometimes affect one's perspective on a character. For instance the clop chapter of Fallout: Equestria basically made the relationship between Littlepip and Homage many times more popular amongst that story's fans.
Anyway, off to work...
That's right, I forgot people actually like Fallout: Equestria, for some reason. And forgive me, but I've forced myself through ones that were considered 'good', and I just can't find anything appealing in stories about cartoon horses fucking, besides how stupid they are, the one you mention included.
...I was talking about the stories, not the sex. Some have affected me strongly.
Also not a fan of FO:E myself. It's not the kind of story I'm interested in reading in general. I was just using that to illustrate how a clopfic affected a fandom's perceptions. It's not one of the ones I personally consider good. Those are ones I can take and edit out the explicit sex and show to others and they have a strong impact as is.
YMMV.
Besides, kann denn leibe suende sein? Some people have weird fetishes.
That makes sense. I mainly got on here because some of the guys in Doc chat told me to. While it does seem to be getting more views for the story, I'm kind of apathetic to the site in general. Any site that has a few CB stories on the front page turns me off on instinct. Still, good to see you here. And your alt-history is here as well! Yay.
Also joining this site means I've ascended, or descended in this case, to a level of bronydom that disturbs even me. Plus the sites formatting seems to have screwed with some parts of the fic, so blargh.
Definitely a YMMV on the affecting part. The only way those stories have affected me is by making me laugh my arse off, but you can have your own thoughts on the matter, I won't dissuade you.
Sometimes those weird fetishes are creepy and/or downright illegal. In that case, calling them out on this would be for the right.
GAH YOU TOO FUCK FUCK FUCK
Also I just realized half the comments have been me replying to shit people who have already read this said. Moving to PM after this then for those folks.
I have written and deleted about 3 monster sized posts, trying to review this fic. I just could never seem to get it out right.
On a simple level I have to agree with the review given by CommisarAJ. Charles is a completely unlikeable Gary Stu. He's great at just about everything he does and over god knows how many pages manages to undergo exactly zero character growth. I feel like he's the one holding the story back and being glad I read everything I'm not sure if I want to continue on. He really holds Twilight's character back on a lot of things and philosophically they have so little in common. For all his talk about caring about other people his actions really show a big difference.
I do disagree strongly with CommisarAJ in that historical accuracy is the goal. Alternate history is way more fun to read and is a lot less frustrating so if I have to chose between accuracy and fun for a general audience, please by all means let a little bit of inaccuracy bleed into the story.
Overall I'm glad I read it. While you have a very interesting concept I think this story is in desperate need of revising, there's just too much that stands out as you read it, and the lack of likeable characters makes it really painful. By chapter 5 I was skipping past parts with Charles to just get to the bits with Twilight because he's such an unlikeable prat who has never changed, I have no reason to believe he ever will.
Best of luck to you.
Well that's the thing. I find it very realistic that with the life he's led he's the way he is.
Twilight is the only thing bringing him toward the place he needs to be to be a GOOD person.
Unfortunately she was a child when she met him as well, so not as strong willed as the canon personality.
Do you feel the story needs revising solely due toe Charles' characterization? Or are there other reasons?
I don't want to get into too much detail here since I'm discussing things with Nomoresanity but the gist of what I have a problem with is 1) I don't feel Twilight is bringing him towards anything, her impact on him has been amazingly negligible given how much story we have. You could replace Twilight with any random street urchin from an exotic local with magic and boom, nothing would change. 2) While it's realistic with the life he lead it's also unrealistic that he would ever heel-face-turn because of it. Twilight's mental impact on him seems to be pretty minor so why would anything ever wake him out of his funk? If after the better part of a decade his personality, opinions, and philosophy hasn't even budged due to Twilight's presence why would it now?
I'd say revising due to Charles' and Twilight's characterization. If that could be fixed I think he could get over this hump and get on with the real story he wants to tell. I feel he's close, I can see him trying within the story it just isn't connecting yet. I promised him I'd go over the story and pull up examples of what I'm talking about. I really think this story can be done, there's just so much to go over it's a little daunting 
But I'll defend what I think with as many examples as I can! Because, dangit, his story inspired me! No way am I just going to just dump all over him and run 
Well good job then if you think you can help to improve the story all power to you.
I've personally never found the need to have to actually like the character I'm reading/watching to want to read/watch them and be interested in their story/life.
In fact some of the best stories I have ever enjoyed made me want to strangle the protagonist(s) at every turn, but that did not detract from the story itself.
Some stories create likable characters to endear to their audience. 
Some stories create realistic characters to enthrall their audience.
This story has both in my opinion. 
Wow. Until four months ago, I would have never thought that I would ever read something that involves the words
“Yes, yes, this will work perfectly,” Metternich continued, before his mouth twitched to a smirk, “If only the bronies could hear about this though. They’d be cheering all till the morrow with a German prince being taught with an Equestrian unicorn. God knows how the Russians would react...” 
Well... I just did. 
Kudos to you.
From a Bavarian. 
I have to say, things are certainly heating up. And the Count...He's dead?... TO WAR! 
Death to the enemy!
And another thing...
Twilight and Charles siting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes the process of adopting a child...and putting said child into a carriage...
Yeah, they really do love eath other. Hopefully they'll both survive long enough to figure that out.
I'm glad you like it! I hope you enjoy future chapters just as much
Assuming things can be a tad hasty at times, wouldn't you say?
... I don't know why you'd assume the latter, but a lot of people have, without it being my intent. Do I just naturally write very shippy character interaction without knowing it?
Huh... this fic was the only reason I still visited the EQD stories archive. This is much more convenient, however.
As a side note, this is one of the first pony stories I ever read and yet holds a special place amongst my favorites as a major factor in my getting drawn so deeply into the fandom. It's not perfect (no story is), but it's well-written, beautifully characterized, creative, original, and a massively fun read.
For anyone going through the comments wondering if the 100k+ word monstrosity is worth it, I assure you that it is. Take a deep breath and jump in feet first, you won't regret it.
School's over in two days. Take that as a yes. Thanks for commenting and favoriting it as well.
Thanks for the praise, even though I'm sure I don't deserve half of it. Considering how lazy/depressed/fucked up I've been the last few months, I was thinking of canning this altogether, but interest from guys like you keeps me from it. Plus I can't really end this when I still haven't even got to the good parts now, right?
Thank you really for the praise; as a side-note, if you could tell me any criticism and such on the story, that'd be great! I'm a huge fan of getting praise, but a bigger fan of learning how to improve as a writer.
>>200242 It's something that comes inevitably with the territory. People are culturally engrained to think of interactions between men and women in a romantic or potentially romantic light. Often to the point of oversimplification. I really don't see it in this case. Charles acts towards Twilight the same way any period noble male would act towards a close male friend and confidant. We're definitely more physically reserved in modern America, so physical affection between friends is viewed much more intimately.
With regards to Charles, he does seem to be a bit of a putz. But so would any nobleborn from that period. He does definitely have a monstrous chip on his shoulder, (with Bonaparte as a father, who wouldn't?). What he does need though, is some defining character growth. Perhaps a confrontation with Twilight, where she dresses him down, and he realizes that he hasn't been as noble as he thinks he's been.
There seems to be an unresolved plot thread around him keeping secrets from Twilight with regards to his little dalliances, so that would serve as an ideal catalyst.
Grammar Problems (something that I just find in the writing with a little uneasiness in it, so at the start of most of my comments, I'll give a suggestion on how to fix it. Normally I would just copy the entire paragraph to make it easier for you to find out where I had this problem, but this time I think it's alright enough for you to find it easily)
* = the problem
> = my suggestion
- = my comment about the suggestion
* “You might want to hurry up, the Kaiser will not be pleased if delay our audience to stare at pretty pictures!” he gently chided the young unicorn.
> “You might want to hurry up, the Kaiser will not be pleased if we (or) I delay our audience to stare at pretty pictures!” he gently chided the young unicorn.
-Not sure which way Franz should say this in this sentence, but I know that word is sort of messing in between "if" and "delay." It just doesn't sound right to me. So here's a suggestion with two different ways to fix it if you want.
I've seen this submitted in the Ponies in the Real World group and the premise you said about it really peaked my interest. This is a great introduction to this story it establish alot of things about this world here and it actually made me wonder about what happened to the real horses in that world. Also, I couldn't help but laugh at the similarities between the situation of your Twilight and my Twilight had in this story, but at least yours is doing better. It's a very interesting world you've made and I can't delay myself from reading the second chapter any longer, so I better go now and found out how those two change the world.
So that is the childhood of Twilight and Charles, it was an interesting one that the two kids live though I'll give you that. Ever since I played Tales of Graces F I figured that this chapter will be more about their childhood and you did a good job of explaining their situation. Your writing is almost similar to the ones of the show itself, where both you and them show your research on your respecitve subjects and went even further to give them a new original twist. For the story itself, I just hope that Twilight can keep Charles of being a good guy later on, even if the best chance is that he becomes an anti hero in the end. Also, I like the birthdays that both the kids have for each other it was rather sweet.
Grammer Problems:
*It irked he that he called her a child, she was thirteen already darnit, but she would let it slide out of gratitude. “It’s just you really got into him. I can’t believe a jerk like that is a Prinz!"
>It irked her (or) Twilight that he called her a child, she was thirteen already darnit, but she would let it slide out of gratitude. “It’s just you really got into him. I can’t believe a jerk like that is a Prinz!”
-Not sure of adding Twilight there might fix things but it was really odd to see "he" three times like that when you're actually just talking about her. ^^;
*Twilight was caught in a rather tight bind about just what the two were talking about. Charles spoke as if he the fact that someone knew of his father was a surprise, a fact that he was interested in greatly. Didn’t he know of him already? While he was rather predisposed to never speaking of his past along with her own in their silent arrangement, he did make vague references at times when he was tired or somber, to a titan of a man who stormed through Europe like a comet, who brought a new age into being through force of will alone. The imagery he prescribed was tantalizing to her in its scope, even if it seemed almost unreal. After all, how much did one man really matter to history at large?
>Twilight was caught in a rather tight bind about just what the two were talking about. Charles spoke as if ("he" is deleted here) the fact that someone knew of his father was a surprise, a fact that he was interested in greatly. Didn’t he know of him already? While he was rather predisposed to never speaking of his past along with her own in their silent arrangement, he did make vague references at times when he was tired or somber, to a titan of a man who stormed through Europe like a comet, who brought a new age into being through force of will alone. The imagery he prescribed was tantalizing to her in its scope, even if it seemed almost unreal. After all, how much did one man really matter to history at large?
-I think you accidently wrote "the" twice but the first time you misspelled it, unless there was something you wree going to do with that "he" there. Anyway I advise you should try to fix this part.
*Twilight rolled her eyes at this gesture, but if we wished to be so insistent that was fine with her. “Lead the way Prinz Charming.” she said with a mock bow.
>Twilight rolled her eyes at this gesture, but if he wished to be so insistent that was fine with her. “Lead the way Prinz Charming.” she said with a mock bow.
-"We" NoMoreSanity? ^^; I think this might be a typo from your first draft or something like that, either way that sentence is kind of strange.
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So that's where Equestria is in the world, it completely overtook the states near California. This also looks like the map of the conversion Bureau version of Equestia as well. Speaking of that, if only Twilight could remember that she got into Wien territory from a portal that pony kidnapped her, it seems to me that if they could find that pony and his gang they could get Twilight back home. But then there's a problem of what happens after the bad pony was caught by the nations here, Equestria won't be so safe even further from now on.
I like how you used the nobles from the shows to match the nobles in here, it is almost true in every way here in most parts in real life.
I was kind of worried about the kids here in the story, I thought for sure that there would be tension between Twilight and Charles or that this is the chapter that Charles would be separated from Twilight in here, but that's not the case. I liked how you really used this chapter to have Twilight and Charles discuss more about their morality in this mess and the differences of her world and this world.
Oh yeah there is one thing that really bugged me, Their Heights. Charles height I can understand a little but Twilight that seemd to make little sense because you said she was taller than him by saying she was 5'3 compared to Charles who was 5'. Unless that's a measurement thing I'm missing and don't know specifically for this world, then this is a pretty inaccurate description of both the boy and unicorn's height. I believe for a more accurate height for a 13 year old boy would be around 4 feet and 5 feet but I really think that if Twilight is in her teen years and hasn't reached her full height and is considred smaller than most of the noble ponies here than I believe that her height should be around 2.5 feet and 3 feet unless the average adult pony is actually 4 feet. Basically I'm really confused about the height thing because you made it seem like that Twilight is taller than Charles first and then go right back to being short later.
Edit: Would be nice to know that the ponies are normally big like that in the first place before it was clearly established in Chapter 4.
Grammar Problems:
*A budding smile crept up his face at her words, her glorious words in that language he loved so, bringing him the type of smile only that she could bring to him. But it quickly disappeared in an instant, his own pride and desire to prove himself right shining outward. “Antoine will most likely meet us in the general are anyway. I would not worry in the least for now, ma petite pouliche.” he attempted to reassure her, causing her to roll her eyes at the nickname she had managed to understand since their lessons in French began.
>A budding smile crept up his face at her words, her glorious words in that language he loved so, bringing him the type of smile only that she could bring to him. But it quickly disappeared in an instant, his own pride and desire to prove himself right shining outward. “Antoine will most likely meet us in the general area anyway. I would not worry in the least for now, ma petite pouliche.” he attempted to reassure her, causing her to roll her eyes at the nickname she had managed to understand since their lessons in French began.
-Just a simple misspelling I hope the paragraph will make things easier to find it though.
*Charles felt an involuntary swelling disgust at the very thought of such ‘acts’ occurring to Twilight. Even if he he knew there was less than zero percent chance of them happening due to his own faith in Twilight’s cognisant functions and common sense, it was chilling all the same towards him, as shown when the majors words brought an acidic taste up his throat. “Even if she wanted to, I’m afraid Count Mortiz beat you to it. He gave her some Bayerischen wine on her fifteenth year on his own suggestion.”
>Charles felt an involuntary swelling disgust at the very thought of such ‘acts’ occurring to Twilight. Even if he (secondary "he" is deleted) knew there was less than zero percent chance of them happening due to his own faith in Twilight’s cognisant functions and common sense, it was chilling all the same towards him, as shown when the majors words brought an acidic taste up his throat. “Even if she wanted to, I’m afraid Count Mortiz beat you to it. He gave her some Bayerischen wine on her fifteenth year on his own suggestion.”
-Double "he" all the way.
*The major’s ears rose at those last few words, catching them well, suppressing a smug smirk in response. He knew what Charles was fishing for, that was obvious to all their save Twilight, who did not or could not catch duplicity in her friends intents, whether out of ignorance and denial he did not know. What Charles wanted was information on the one item he valued above all other things, perhaps even over his own life. Information on his father. The boy was enraptured in his father’s life, his deeds, his everything, and having only a scant few facts as a base upon which to build his view of him, he resorted to a nigh-mythological view of his father.
>The major’s ears rose at those last few words, catching them well, suppressing a smug smirk in response. He knew what Charles was fishing for, that was obvious to all their save for(?) Twilight, who did not or could not catch duplicity in her friends intents, whether out of ignorance and denial he did not know. What Charles wanted was information on the one item he valued above all other things, perhaps even over his own life. Information on his father. The boy was enraptured in his father’s life, his deeds, his everything, and having only a scant few facts as a base upon which to build his view of him, he resorted to a nigh-mythological view of his father.
- Not sure if there is anything wrong with this second sentence other than it just sounded really awkward to me. So I'm not sure if this needed to be fixed at all.
*Any further barks or howls of disapproval died in his throat at that offer Charles imagined never would come to him so soon, and of his teachers own volition at that! Contemptuous illness took a horrid time to appear though, as he felt ill suddenly, cold as well, deathly cold. Taking his silence as a most pleasing loss of words at this good news, Antoine began to leave, passing them by while whistling a delightful tune to himself, before yelling back “Goodbye you two! I cannot wait to begin our most glorious lesson tomorrow! And thank you for the, admittedly noxious at times, yet still splendid day! Gute Nacht!” he shouted, before departing at last.
>Any further barks or howls of disapproval died in his throat at the(?) offer Charles imagined never would come to him so soon, and of his teacher's own volition at that! Contemptuous illness took a horrid time to appear though, as he felt ill suddenly, cold as well, deathly cold. Taking his silence as a most pleasing loss of words at this good news, Antoine began to leave, passing them by while whistling a delightful tune to himself, before yelling back “Goodbye you two! I cannot wait to begin our most glorious lesson tomorrow! And thank you for the, admittedly noxious at times, yet still splendid day! Gute Nacht!” he shouted, before departing at last.
-Not sure if this needs to be fixed as well, but the first sentence of this paragraph did sounded kind of awkward too.
-Found the real problem I had with this, it's bascially making "teachers" look more possessive as showned in the second fixed here.
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The beginning with the introduction of Octavia was pretty surprising, especially now that I considered all ponies to be freaking huge. It was actually a nice and funny surprise at that Octavia was also a more prominent character this time around instead of being mentioned. Surely she'll come back in this story later right. The funny part about this is that the play that was after Octavia's performance was terrible, I immediately thought of that Hot Fuzz scene where the main characters were forced to watch a horrible play and had their mouths hanging open in total disgust and surprised at how awful the play was. It was especially funny that Twilight slept through the whole thing (Well the rest of it) and Charles was mostly gone near the end. Nice beginning.
Those conflicts with Twilight's and Charles' conversation about morality gets even more deeper, I like how they're both finding more new perspectives about the world and their problems. It's just that I hope they take a more interest to the problems that are happening right now with the state of things in this world. Although I'm worried about how Twilight will handle Charles' greatest mistake in the next chapter that was mentioned in the end of this. From Twilight's expertise I really think that Twilight will be more of an information girl for Charles than the tatical one that everyone wants her to be, like if they need some info on a certain part of the world Twilight will be there for them with a book floating near her. If cellphones existed at that time she could have become the resident Bobby for Charles (For those who don't know about this character: Bobby is the bearded man character from Supernatural. Later after he was introduced to the series, Bobby became more of the go-to guy for the brothers, the main characters for this series, to be their "research man" or "Mission Control" as the tropers put it. Any kind of info the brothers need for the resident monster of the week, Bobby will be there to look in his personal library to get the info they need to kill it or catch it.)
Speaking of Twilight and Charles, it was kind of funny that they both reject the idea of ponies and humans being together like "that." Especially if people like me who had their shipping goggles on for too long that it seemed like that Charles was constantly hitting on Twilight before this very idea was actually squicky to the both of them. Still, it did seem like Charles was hitting on her given Twilight's reaction to this of being completely unsure of how serious he meant in his praising made it seem like that the thought at least crossed her mind.
I like at the end of how Kanzlar tries his best to not look like a villian to him but the point still stands that he is getting in Charles' way alot and is against his freedom to actually well, learn more than what this gilded cage is letting him know. Basically it's another grey outline in Twilight's outlook in life, although I really hope that Twilight doesn't have anything too secret in her stable... Although I wish there was more explanation to the "stable" she's living in right now and what's it like. Like for this question, does she have the whole thing to herself, is it like some sort of hut outside of this castle, or is she really in a spacious stall?
Also congrats on having a TVTropes page here. Although it doesn't seem like it has info on the latest chapters as of yet. So I'm not completely spoiled for I read the last two chapters at this moment.
Grammar Problems:
*The Hungarian Count's proposal, to the irritation of Charles, brought them both some form of amusement, causing them to nod at him. They had only known him a short while now, but the two, Twilight especially, had already grown sweet on the thirty plus year old man. Charles was interested further when the Count revealed earlier he was a lieutenant in the Hungarian, as István liked to call, Honvédség. It was a rank he had earned through merit alone. That only made the young prince like him further, though it did not lessen his anger at basically being assigned a nanny for his command.
>The Hungarian Count's proposal, to the irritation of Charles, brought them both some form of amusement, causing them to nod at him. They had only known him a short while now, but the two friends (or) teens (or) young adults (or) companions, Twilight especially, had already grown sweet on the thirty plus year old man. Charles was interested further when the Count revealed earlier he was a lieutenant in the Hungarian, as István liked to call, Honvédség. It was a rank he had earned through merit alone. That only made the young prince like him further, though it did not lessen his anger at basically being assigned a nanny for his command.
-Congratulations, I think this is the only one with the grammar problem in this chapter, the rest was written really well. It's just that I'm not sure how to fix this one though, I just know that there should be a word after "two."
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Now the adult-hood journey begins, also I'm completely surprised that I'm the only one to make a comment in this chapter of this entire sight, I surely thought that there would be more here, especially before the current final chapter. Oh well, I guess I'll read the comments here after this.
It was kiind of funny how you threw in some references from the show like Charles saying Fancypant's line about something being " charmily rustic" or something like that.
The development between Twilight's and Charles' relationship has definitely grown around each other alot. I just wish that th tropers who put this here on their site will notice since there are many new tropes in this chapter. Anyway, I really like the escape that Charles and Twilight went through to get away from their dull escorts and how they did it. It was funny and exciting at the same time. It was also nice to see how far Twilight could run for a while before getting which reminded me of Kid Icarus Uprising's power of flight thing before time runs out and Pit has to walk around like normal. I could definitely see now what you mean by the other characters having problems with the ponies if they were their original size, but still it does seem awkward of people riding on the ponies occasionally especially for Charles and Twilight even if twas a mutal plan. I guess Charles riding on Twilight just reminded me too much of how Spike rode Twilight in the Diamond Dogs episode, it was just so surreal and fun to read at the same time. Also, it was really nice to finally read a story about Twilight running into a nice girl in a middle of a fanfiction despite their situation and how much food Twilight gave to the rest of the children before Charles came up and scared them. ^^; It was also pretty hearwarming that Charles and Twilight were able to sleep together in the same "bed" again before they continued on their journey.
Speaking of people riding ponies, what about that new character and his group when they run into Charles and Twilight? I was kind of surprised that the ponies that were with them when they met for the first time but was hardly mentioned again, Oh yeah, that Wet Mane joke during this meeting was pretty funny as well. I laughed out loud about how much Charles wanted to draw her at this very moment. Anyway were the ponies in that meeting were just among the soldiers as well?
Now that Charles has finally made to where he wanted to go, it's time see what his leadership skills will work in this new enviornment. Hopefullly, I'll be completely caught up this story by tomorrow.
Grammar Problems:
*Tentatively, he raised his arms slowly. They felt like lead blocks to him at the moment. He’d need to do the actual hugging, seeing as Twilight was too big for her to return the hug in this state. Stepping forward in slow, heavy steps, he pushed himself next to the mare, and hugged her neck. Feeling her fur against the revealed portions of his skin, he patted the small of her neck mechanically. “Good night, Twilight,” he murmured.
>Tentatively, he raised his arms slowly. They felt like lead blocks to him at the moment. He’d need to do the actual hugging, seeing as Twilight was too big for him(?) to return the hug in this state. Stepping forward in slow, heavy steps, he pushed himself next to the mare, and hugged her neck. Feeling her fur against the revealed portions of his skin, he patted the small of her neck mechanically. “Good night, Twilight,” he murmured.
-Twilight was too big for herself or for Charles? Either way the wording is awkward here.
*“Oh true, just like how the Navy won at Navarino,” Alija sarcastically declared, “And at this rate, it won’t be long until the French or the Russians send actual forces to fight us. The only way this could get worse is if the Austrians marched right over the border.”
>“Oh true, just like how the Navy won at Navarino,” Alija sarcastically declared, “And at this rate, it won’t be long until the French or the Russians send actual forces to fight us. The only way this could get worse ("is" is deleted here) if the Austrians marched right over the border.”
-"Is" and "if" being that close together just doesn't sit right for me. So should they be like that?
*“Majorgeneral,” Charles corrected,” But yes, it does seem like that. I’d wonder if he’s even gotten rid of that map he spilled vodka on yesterday.”
>“Major-general(?),” Charles corrected, "But yes, it does seem like that. I’d wonder if he’s even gotten rid of that map he spilled vodka on yesterday.”
-Basic quotation misplacement, also I'm not sure adding a dash in "Majorgeneral" is actually a real fix but at least it's more readable. So decide whether or not this should stay.
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So I finally caught up, sorry it took so long, some other things came up. But now I'm finally done for now. Also, I'm very sorry for Twilight to be exposed to pure war just like that all due to their "superior's" of not reading the map right and got themselves ambushed. I have to say that this might be the part that you said in the earlier chapters of how Charles accidently invaded Europe. Now I wonder how these two will get out of this alive and how Twilight is going to handle things, since we've known that Twilight doesn't like fighting that much, and how she's going to handle Charles turning this battle around fulfilling that promise you made.
Ah geez there were alot of funny parts and one of them was Istvan apparently running into Pinkie Pie once and claiming that it was a true story. For some reason I'd like to believe that she's also one of the only beings who can travel between Equestria and Earth... Huah, you think that Celestia would at least think of coming here for her after all these years, but then again Equestria and Earth are different WORLDS after all, so that will probably be the last place she'll bother checking. I can't wait for the time when our two protagonists eventually get to Equestria.
Oh yeah, Charles nightmare was pretty nerve wreaking, but whenever I think of a pile of corpses showing up in peoples deams I keep thinking of Legion. Speaking of his dream it's funny how Istvan is acting as the weird old funny man by getting in on the whole shipping Twilight with Charles thing and showing up out of nowhere multiple times and getting on some of their nerves especially that he was the one that snapped him out of it instead of Twilight. Twilight also has a point that Charles should be friends with him on a more normal understanding rather than being forced to team up, but then again Charles does have trust issues with everyone who works with his grandpa so I guess it's kind of justified but he should know everything he can about him anyway.
I'm even glad that in the end that it was Istvan that got Twilight to at least tell Charles that he was acting no different from the nobles that he hated before the next day started and even glad that Twilight had more of her past revealed about how she is also ignorant of how things exactly work in her world as well so she does have some points but sadly she's not in any position to try to be the negotiater of peace first. If only she could meet with the leaders of the conflict and find some way to get them to compromise then maybe she'll have a shot, but sadly she doesn't. Although she has to survive the battle first and I hope the result of that does not damage her moral compass too much. Her encounters with the other soldiers didn't really help much, I hope she'll run into these guys again after this battle, but it was a funny moment of her meeting of the two. Once again I'm back to wonderhing how Charles will get everyone out of this conflict and now that I've caught up I can finally fave this story and keep track of it for real.
I've favourited this story with the hopes that we would see more. I'm a real fan of alternative history stories as well as ponies in time - and think that you've made a real good start at it. I used to look for updates whenever they'd show up on EQD - now I can bother you here on FimFiction.
It's a really good story and made me interested in this period of European history - enough to go looking for non-fiction books on history.
At first I thought we were dealing with Franz Joseph, but Napoleon! Potentially allied with Equestria, when all's said and done.
Oh, this has possiblities.
Of course, we're waiting to see if anyone or anypony has issues - one way or another - about serving under what it essentially the French Dauphin. And what comes later. Hmm, a healing hermit. Foreshadowing for Fluttershy? 
Someone pointed me this way, and I agree, this story needs to continue. Please? 
A slight correction early in the chapter: you're speaking of of The Republic and say "and a slight degree of sympathy as he wanted to read more of Socrates himself...", when you meant Plato, right?
When Charles give Twilight The Prince as a present and said, “Somehow, I just knew you’d like Machiavelli,” my first impression was to say "Charles, you're an idiot," but it appears that the interpretation of the work as satire was actually the dominant one in this period, so I guess I stand corrected.
I am interested to learn more about these mysterious "bronies" that Prince Metternich speaks of, and whether they hold any degree of influence in Europe, or if instead they are universally despised, like "tree-hugging environmentalists" or the Sierra Club are by American conservatives. Of course, this also begs the question if they would have evolved into bomb-throwing anarchists later in the century ("For Equestria...!" BOOM!), if not for the history-altering actions of a certain purple unicorn...
...and, I finally caught up.
Well, I definitely don't have as many reservations with this story as CommissarAJ did, and I do hope that his review wasn't the sole reason why you gave up on the story. Edit: And some research uncovers that you did edit the story based on his comments. Bravo.
It seems to me that Franz has been advancing as a character, just very slowly as he has his tremendous pride and stubbornness to get past. He's basically got one major breakthrough to get through before he actually becomes a character I'd want to see conquer France (actually giving a damn about the basic rights of the common man and pony), and I think Twilight can certainly help get him there. Plus there promises to be an amazing scene coming up with that gypsy.
So at least write it to that part...pleeeeeaaaase?
That's a good question. Thankfully I'll never have to answer that... right now at least.
Yep. Not counting the November Uprising of course. Also I love your profile pic Z.
It sounds like Equestria is experiencing some kind of political turmoil, or at least something that's major enough to actually have Twilight wind up on the other side of the barrier. Of course if the barrier ever failed, old Hickory might try to encroach into Equestrian Territory. And god help us all if he got discorded. Another thing I should add; is that the Russian Colonies in Alaska at one point send dignitaries to California to literally beg for food, and the Pacific Coast is Equestrian Territory...
Also; Haitis Slave revolt failed, did the Sea Ponies had something to do with this!?! 
Why do I get the feeling that some time in the near future, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are going to encounter a certain kid living in the Mississippi who cons them into painting a fence for him? This may not fit in the timeline as Sam Clemens was born in 1835 and the CMC's are supposedly 9-10 year olds living with siblings who are in their mid twenties and Twilight was born in 1811, so the CMC's might actually be teenagers or even young adults by the time good ol' Twain was a Nine Year Old; still, it'd be something to see.
Ah, Octavia is a Bonapartist. Heh; the Play actually sounded like something that i'd probably enjoy watching. I've got a soft spot for terrible plays and movies, with the exception of the Star Wars Prequels.
I must ask; do the 'free' Pegasus, Griffons, and Hippogriffs have their own Kingdoms in the sky? And I also must ask the same of the Diamond Dogs and their subterranean way of life. Also; any chance of any sapient life evolving in the most deadly continent of the world: Australia? 
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