It's a known fact that the ponies have the ability to control the weather. The forecast for today: aluminum overcast with heavy showers of bombs.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 3rd Feb, 2012
- offline last seen May 3rd, 2018
The Grey Pegasus
Pony stuff author since 2012. Writes supposedly good stuff. Still haven't made a break. Still persistent. Probably highly unlucky. Or hated by the universe. Either determined or insane. Or both.
The Grey Pegasus
Joined 3rd Feb, 2012 ·
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- The Grey Pegasus · 1.8k words · 482 views
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Remember that you don't have to indent the first paragraphs, and you I don't think you have to do it for dialogue at all.
It seems good from what I can see. I always this weird feeling when stories are about ponies and combat, but that's just my problem; it still seems ok. It feels weirder when it talks about ones like Octavia and Rarity; AJ I can legitimately see, but not these two. But, that also gives the window to see their own actions and reactions, so that's not a bad idea to have them, just depends on how you use them.
All in all it feels akin to Memphis Belle
If you want the best look at WW2 bomber missions, I'd suggest WW2 in HD: The Air War-
It seems fine, for the most part.
Big thing; if you're going to turn this into a full story, you could really do with some world building.
They'd better b careful; with all the crazy magic capabilities it'll end like the first mission of Wolfenstein. Have this, BTW-
Before you ask, yes that was just an excuse to use the song.
How old is this story? That quip about 'no wings' was written more than a year ago, during the whole Twilicorn phase.
4507253 yea I seem to remember the first chapter being done in December.
4507304
I rearranged the chapter so I could have a second out-of-story-box author's note.
Also the story ID. 80900. That is old. Anyways, as we speak, I'm getting ready to hit the submit. Just polishing Part 3.
Ill read later
Anything WW2 based is always awesome
4457924
No house of the rising sun?
>the horse puns
brb, killing self
4508271
It made the story fun to write, with quite a bit of facepalms along the way.
4508320 Grey you know those aren't exactly a good sign, right?
Too many horse puns. Other than that, a very enjoyable read.
Though you still haven't quite caught on to the knack we Brits have for gross understatements. For example, in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, a suburban dinner party is invaded by Death, who wears a long black cloak and carries a scythe.
"Well," says one party guest, "That's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?"
In another scene, an Army officer has just lost his leg. When asked how he feels, he looks down at his bloody stump and responds, "Stings a bit."
And let us not forget Henry Paget, 2nd Earl of Uxbridge, who, upon having a leg torn off by a cannonball, was heard to remark to Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington: "By God, sir, I've lost my leg!", to which Wellington replied "By God, sir, so you have!"
4522134
.
Should've consulted some British people. If only I knew where to find them.
By the way, the specific event you inspired in this story was the Aluminum Alicorn getting shot down by flak; a long time ago, when Twilicorn was just about going to be a thing, you said you were going to take a flak cannon to her. And so... this happened.
4522161 Oooh yea! Now I remember!. :3
God, my memory is terrible.
A B-17 has four wings... If you count the vertical stabilizers anyway.
5347520
Exactly. They're horizontal stabilizers, so for the general definition, not wings.
4507317 I like your M-14.
3745676 I thought I was the only one who got the Memphis Belle vibe!
10/10. Would love to see spinoff.
This has made my top fav's, great story! I found myself able to picture everything as it happened, though I thought that the Aluminum Alicorn was a reference to the B-17G Aluminum Overcast. Lightning Dusts' death and full blown story in this fic, relationship to Dash, was great.
10/10, have a vid I think that fits this fic!
Actually made No:1 on my Favorites list!!!
6326949
Well, the reference to Aluminum Overcast was already in the story description.
Aluminum Alicorn IV isn't actually completely random though- while also sounding like a plausible bomber name, at the time that this story was originally conceived (not written, conceived), Twilight just got her wings (thereby the fourth alicorn), so this was sort of a way of commenting on it.
6326954 I can see how that went about with Twi.
5347520 Actually an aircraft has one vertical stabilizer, what you mean are the horizontal stabilizers. Just saying.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/76/Tail_of_a_conventional_aircraft.svg/800px-Tail_of_a_conventional_aircraft.svg.png