This story has been cancelled and will no longer receive updates. Ever. Apologies to those who've been following it.
“It is said that our lives are mere drops in the ocean. How appropriate then, that we should strive to make the biggest splash.”
Rosa Bloom is stuck in a rut. Torn between feelings for a close friend and a life that’s going nowhere, she feels that her purpose in the world is lost. However, an unexpected series of events will change everything. All she can do now is hope for the best.
Meanwhile, Twilight receives a visitor at Golden Oaks library, one sent by Celestia herself. While appropriately polite and well-spoken, his motives run far deeper than he is willing to let on. And why does Twilight find him strangely familiar?
“We all have untapped power. It is simply a question of whether we are brave enough or stupid enough to use it.”
Rated T for violence and mild adult themes. Cover image by shadowkixx – DeviantArt
So it's now here. Reading sequence - commence.
Well, that was an interesting first chapter/prologue. Everything flowed well together and I ddn't find any grammatical or spelling mistakes. The language worked out, though I have somewhat of an issue with Spike saying 'hell', but that's just my preference with keeping fiction as close to the canon as possible. Which, I suppose with you making this a Dark fic, isn't what you're going for. Still, it might be a turn off for some people to have Spike say something so out of character.
So far, you've introduced an OC as a character and set up a problem already with Pinkie probably on her way to overreact with what Spike says. Not sure where it's going from here, but if it's as well edited and the language continues to flow, I'm sure it'll be pleasant to read, if nothing else. At the moment, there's nothing more to say, so I'll continue reading later and see what I can come up with on a critic level, if anything.
It's a nice start, though.
Oh Pinkie, you sweet and gullible girl! Playing hide and seek with Cranky is like a mouse chasing a cat: it can't happen.
K of missunderstanding
. Tracking
!
Also: My common sense tells me that there will be a H
2052491
One of my favourite authors ever reading my fanfic? One of the reasons I ever started an OC fic in the first place? I'm a happy bunny.
I didn't actually think about whether Spike would say the word 'hell'. It wasn't used as a curse word... And as for canon, Twilight will probably be staying as a unicorn in this universe for certain reasons, so it won't be entirely canon anyway. (I didn't plan for alicorn Twi!)
Believe it or not, but I actually have over 160,000 words of this pre-written, and I'm far from finished. This has been a work-in-progress for almost a year, now. I won't be uploading it all at once, though. I also need to do some hardcore editing. This does mean that my updates will come much quicker than if I published as soon as I finished a chapter.
This is just beginning, and you'll see different story arcs tie in with each other. I hope you enjoy what I have in store.
Well, this does catch attention. If I didn't have things to do, would have read this faster.
Should do... things... *clicks next chapter*
Ok, I have one thing to say...
FAVORITING THIS!!!
2052784
That's what I like to hear.
And don't worry, the Voice of Reason story arc will be continued. All the story arcs are connected. Some may be set in different time-frames, but they all link together.
Great start, especially the prologue. However, in the two other chapters I felt that your word use was a bit repetitive. Look at which words you use to start your paragraphs in Ch2 and you'll understand.
2052980
OK, I'll do so. Thanks for the help!
...ok. Truly, I 'm curious. I stumbled upon this story after blearily scanning through the new story section of the site, checking up on my hundreds of notifications and whatnot while trying to hold my sanity together with what bits of saliva-soaked duct tape I had left.
The prologue is quite well written in my eyes, though I'm sure that most people see it as average. At least it's better than most of the stuff I see every day. I've yet to read through the rest of the chapters, though I must admit that finding the time to read at all these days is a luxury fit only for a godly man with too much time on his hands and a little complex for multi-tasking. That is not me.
TL;DR I like it, will read it when I have time.
-Hivemind
I agree with everything Croswynd had to say, but I have to point this out too:
>OC moves in with Twilight Sparkle
>OC is male
>OC has Sue-ish name, even for a pony
>OC does nothing but be polite
>Twilight has crush on him in less than 24 hours
Sorry, but I smell a shameless self-insert.
Technically almost possible. Heartbeat will always be faster than you walk. Did you ever try to actually walk in sync with your heart?
But still it makes nice image.
Noob mistake (I am making it often too):
Possible change:
Nope... That breaks line of thought...
One less word and it seems a bit better. I'm not an expert and maybe I just see wrong, but I'm trying to be helpful.
I hope I didn't screw up in grammar with this suggestion.
And maybe "to herself" can be removed too. But then it seems short.
I don't know which is better. But still "she, she, she" hits the eyes a bit.
The game itself. First thought: Oh noes! Jumanji!
Well played.
2053083
That very much how it looks; you're absolutely right. To be honest, I'm surprised Croswynd didn't comment on this too.
All I can say is that if you knew what was to come later in the story (I already have over 160k pre-written) you'd take it all back. I can't, of course, divulge certain information. Keep those comments of yours in mind, though. Especially the one about his name.
If you're able to predict how this story will go, you're either a mind reader or a genius. Trust me on this one. By the time volume 1 ends you'll be wondering what hit you.
2053112
'Walking at the same pace as her heartbeat.'
Ah-ha! Not a mistake! (I'm going to be saying that one a lot if people pick up on my deliberate inconsistencies and dropped subjects that hint towards answers...
) Chapter 4 pretty much clears that one up. (Don't bother speculating too much. It's not amazing. Plus, ponies aren't humans. Bloodflow will be different...)
As for your second point... EUGH!
I wrote that? Maybe she should see if she should write 'she' more times than she wants to. 
I'll get right on that one.
Hey! Sorry this took so bloody long, school can be such a pain! Anyhow! Let's review this story and burn away those problems on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors.
) 
) towards Mane 6 or Background Ponies we love.
Name of Story: Legacy the End of Harmony.
Grammar score out of 10: 9 (Your grammar is pretty impeccable from my point of view! But you can really trust me on grammar, can you?
Pros:
I'm quite interested in both arcs! I'm anxious to see Twilight again, but I never mind romping around with Rosa on her silly little adventures.
I'm also curious to know when shit goes down. Currently her life is pretty normal...I'm scanning for a falling sky man!
Jim. We need more Jim.
Love Triangles, even if it may not exist, are always fun to mess around with.
Small references (Or very large.
Cons :
You seem to have a small problem with repeating words. Nothing to major, but reading the same word really drags you out of the story.
I know it's a pro, but I feel it's also a con to. I feel like the story is dragging a bit now. Nothing Dark or Sad has really happened yet. Just the setting of the pieces.
The odd way you've set up your Dual narrative. Generally, you switch back and forth from the two narrations, but you've decided to go with one chapter Twilight, stretch of Rosa. Not a bad thing mind you, just odd.
Notes Section:
Honestly? I don't feel like there are many detracting issues here. Most of my problems are pretty opinionated such as the story dragging at a slower pace then I would like, or the Dual narrative set up. However, you should look out for those repeating words. That's the only problem that could drag the reader out of the nice little story you've set up for yourself. Other then that, you've got yourself a nice setting, and I do hope to see an update soon!
2092371
Thank you ever so much for reviewing!
I'm actually glad I joined Authors Helping Authors. Getting a full blown review helps much more than a quick comment.
The thing about repeating words is something that I probably need to sort out with some hardcore editing. It's a pain, I find, in writing long chapters about the same subject. Still, excuses aren't going to get me any readers.
The 'Voice of Reason' arc WILL become relevant again very soon. My original plan was actually to not have the VOR arc at all, and to just have occasional references to stuff that happened. However, that would've been stupid, I think. There will probably be 9 or 10 VOR chapters in total, spread throughout my 4 planned 'volumes'. I don't want certain events in that storyline to be revealed before certain events in Rosa's story, for various reasons.
As for 'Dark' and 'Sad', while nothing has really happened along those lines, I didn't want to take the route of 'tricking' the reader into believing that the entire story was just a cute slice-of-life number. I wouldn't want to read a story labelled as romance and find out that the latter half was a gore-fest, for example.
It's a slow build-up, I'll admit that, but I want to build my OCs up slowly. I want people to care about them as characters FIRST before any of the heavy-hitting stuff happens. I guess I'm damned either way, but I think the nice-and-easy approach will fit this story better.
Anyhoo... thanks ever so much for taking time to read this and write a review. I have big plans for this fic, and I can only hope that you enjoy my future updates.
Romance with OCs and show characters is a bit...overlooked/hated by many, but I too enjoy a good romance story every now and then, especially one like this. You've done all the prep work for the OC, you nailed Twilight's apparent sense of nervousness around important figures, and to top it all off, Pinkie Pie remains Pinkie Pie.
However, I did find that sudden insert of Lyra and Bon-Bon a bit...strange. Was it a last minute decision of sorts or did you just need something to fill the word quota? Or maybe they play a bigger role in the story later? Who knows, because I sure don't.
TL;DR Am interested will continue reading.
-Hivemind
2101896
It was really that noticeable, huh? Yeah, the Lyra/Bon Bon bit was added on because of certain criticisms, but now there are new criticisms to make in their place!
I will be making a revision to Voice of Reason I right now, and will post once it's finished. The overall storyline of the fic will be unaffected, but it'll hopefully serve as a better 'hook' for new readers.
To tell you the truth, I think I've shot myself in the foot regarding the ordering of this fic. Not so much in the sense that the story could be better, but in a sense that I think more people would be inclined to read on. I could potentially have started with the events in Volume 2, (which is more 'in the deep end' so to speak, and would probably seem a lot more interesting to new readers) and backpedaled to Volume 1's events. More people would stick around, but the story wouldn't be the way I always envisioned it. As slow moving as everything has been so far, I know what's up ahead and I'm dying to see people's reactions. All I need are readers willing to stay for the ride.
P.S. I forgot to say thanks for reading my fic in the first place!
+1 internets to you for python reference
2103268
Urge to write Monty Python crossover... rising...
This review brought to you on behalf of: Authors Helping Authors. LET'S GET THIS STARTED
Story Name: Legacy: The End of Harmony
Grammar Score: 9/10 - Near flawless, with some errors that were probably just typos that didn't get noticed in revison; tense being changed, commas where they shouldn't be, etc. They're so rare--and the rest of your work is so good--that it's hard to see them being anything otehr than typos.
Pros:
- Well-written, with very good grammar and sentence structure.
- Consistent characterization, especially from the protagonist (I also really enjoyed Summer's character as well!)
- You excellently capture little details, like Rosa's novel and the decor of the restaurant; this lends the story a lot of flavor.
Cons:
- There's some redundancy in the narration (I'll get on this later in the notes section!)
- Slow pacing. I understand that stories need to build, but at 30k words (!!) there's no hint of darkness or sadness or any plot beyond Rosa's day-to-day life. If this was straight Slice of Life that would obviously be no issue, but the tags, the picture, and the synopsis all point towards this being bigger in scope, and it's taking way too long to get there. In particular, making the opening chapter a drinking game is a curious way of trying to hook the reader's attention.
- I get some occaisional Mary Sue vibes from the characters. Not totally, mind you, but it's still there. On some occaisions it's the names--Voice of Reason and (especially) Nico Demus have some grandiose names for seemingly ordinary ponies. Twilight's sudden obsession over Voice in the prologue also left a small blip on my Sue-dar, but as we haven't enough time to really develop that plot thread, I suppose there's not enough to outright condemn it. Rosa's physical descritpion is pretty Sue-y: "light appeared to refract through her mane and tail and produce the image of billowing fire that was apparent through the day up until sundown" is a bit overdone. Thankfully her appearance isn't focused on too much, which definitely keeps her away from actual Sue status. In fact I like Rosa's character a great deal, but the warning signs are there.
Notes:
Okay, about the narration. You're really, really good about giving us little details and subtleties in the narrative, which is a huge bonus. However, sometimes the narrative becomes redundant or counterproductive. A good example is in the most recent chapter where the narration tells us that Rosa and Summer have forged a great bond. The narration didn't need to do that--I saw Rosa and Summer forge a bond myself through their dialogue and actions in the previous few thousand words.
Instances like that, where we're shown something in great detail and then the narration pops us and tells us all about this thing we've already seen, appear every now and then to the story's detriment. Also, certain threads keep being repeated, like Rosa's musings on how earth ponies have it rough compared to unicorns. I understand this is probably story relevant (and I have expectations for it to pay off somewhere down the road in terms of plot) but it shows up almost every chapter, and it rarely varies from the same familiar theme. I'd play down Rosa's musings and some of the other recurring notes a bit; have them show up every few chapters, rather than making them a once-an-episode deal.
...now I don't want this wave of criticism to make you think that I hate your story or anything! I just tend to focus on negatives a lot when I critique. Your story has a lot going for it, and I generally enjoyed it, though I hope the pace picks up soon. Lastly, I'd be happy if you could review my story On a Pale Horse. Thanks!
2123595
I'm glad you enjoyed things overall. Summer Sun is one of my favourite characters too! Onto your points...
Thanks for reviewing!
The 'redundant narrative' is a good point. I really need to watch out for that. As for the slow build-up (and comments about tags) I'll be removing the 'Dark' tag and reworking the synopsis to make it less misleading for readers. If you could judge my new synopsis, that would be great.
The slow start is something that I knew could be a problem, but I wanted my OC characters to be as fleshed out as necessary. I want my character development to feel real, but I guess that comes with a price.
As for possible Mary-Sue syndrome, I would've thought Sparks was the obvious choice! And I'm genuinely not threatened by this point. To be honest, I'm not going to spout out a bunch of character flaws in succession to make them seem more 'real' or whatever. When I see that in other fics, it's just annoying, and looks like a forced effort to prevent people from labeling their characters as Sues. I'm not going to do that, because it'd feel cheap and unrealistic. Instead, I'll let each character show different sides of themselves naturally as the story progresses. As for the name 'Voice of Reason', there happens to be (no pun intended) a reason for that.
OK... onto reviewing your fic!
2127164
Checked out the new synopsis--I think it's superior to the old one, definitely. Considering you also dropped the "Dark" tag, I think the reader is more accurately prepared for the story they're in for.
Short, but interesting chapter. Sure puts earlier events in a new light.
One thing, though. In one paragraph talking about Voice of Reason, it reads "He'd been sat in the same place for almost 2 days." Unless somepony else forcibly put him there and made him sit down, it it should be "He'd been sitting."
2168998
Duly noted and changed accordingly.
I know this chapter was short, but the Voice segments have to be split up based on certain events that would actually be memorable. (Since they don't occur very often, it's important that I don't overstep the mark or leave readers wondering where the last chapter left off)
I'm happy to have some more comments, though. They mean more to me than up-votes or faves. It's great to know that people are still sticking with it and not just leaving it on the back-burner. Big things are in the pipeline... May you all speculate away!
Wow, okay, Expect an AHA review once I finish reading what you've uploaded, but I've just gotta comment on how you ended this first chapter.
That was quite the bombshell, and is certainly one way to get people to keep reading. You've nailed Twilight quite perfectly there too, bravo
2199729
Hooray! Someone who actually likes the first chapter!
I had to do a double take when I read your comment because I thought 'AHA' was some kind of Alan Partridge reference.
Of course I now realise that you meant Authors Helping Authors...
I like the Rosa part of the story so far, but the reason I don't like the first and current chapters is that they're not quite connected to the story. Maybe I'm
but I'm not sure where they fit in, yet.
2211403
The Voice segments occur within the same universe as the rest of the fic, though they are set within a different time-frame. While 'Voice of Reason' could technically have been written as a separate fic, it ties in with a lot of stuff that will happen later on in the main story. However, I deliberately chose to tell that side of the story piece by piece throughout, rather than all at once. (I have my reasons) I can assure you that I am not just 'switching' to the Voice story if I get a bit of writer's block for the rest. If you're not keen on these parts, don't worry. You won't see them very often. Rosa's story is the main focus.
Anyway, thank you for adding this fic to your faves. (I see you've also added PTMM!
) I really hope you enjoy my future updates. This is by far my most ambitious fic and I hope you're in for the long haul because so far, we've barely even scratched the surface. 
Well, okay time for, yes, an Authors Helping Authors review, my apologies for the earlier ambiguity, haha. (And yes, I did quite like your first chapter, though it sort of fell by the wayside in the wake of the Erudito arc)
Story: Legacy: The end of Harmony
Grammar Score out of 10: 8 - Most of your grammar is pretty spot on, just a few bits where you change tense or perspective, but my biggest gripe is how you write numbers in numerical digits. A story flows much smoother when you write the numbers as words (i.e. "another two or three years"). Another oddity I've picked up is how you use "Led" to mean "lay or lying down". I've never seen it used that way before and it stands out every time I see it. That could just be a personal thing though.
Pros:
- You've set up your original characters impeccably well, and they're easy to connect to and sympathise with. I particularly like Summer Sun with her bubbly attitude despite her lack of a cutie mark.
- Your writing style is very descriptive and its easy for me to get lost in the world you're weaving with your words. The descriptions and events can get quite wordy and at times seem superfluously so, but while that may deter some people, I find it adds deeper levels and meaning to your writing.
- Your character's interactions with other ponies, as well as the general situations they find themselves in, are completely believable. Rosa's awkwardness around Sparks and other ponies in general is spot on, as well as her disgruntled attitude towards her parents interference in her placid lifestyle.
Cons:
- The way you've set out your chapters (their titles in particular) can get somewhat confusing. E.g. when I say "Chapter Two" of this story, it's unclear as to whether I'm referring to chapter 2 of the Erudito Volume, or chapter 1, seeing as chapter 1 of Erudito is chapter 2 of the whole story. This ties in to my next point, which is:
- The two storylines of Twilight and Rosa don't seem connected at all. It's even blatantly clear that Rosa's arc is set a significant amount of time after the events of Twilight's, and I'm not entirely sure any way of linking them would make much sense. It just seems like you're telling two completely different stories and the chapter titles only reinforce that.
- Currently, the story is at 37 thousand words (34k if you discount Twilight's arc) and not much has really happened at all in the way of an "unexpected series of events" as promised in the summary. Unless you count her parents intervening in her life, but that's not really unexpected at all. It's fine as a romance story, if that's where its staying, but if much more time (or words) pass before the metaphorical bass drops, then it's going to seem like an unnecessary curve-ball in an otherwise good romance story.
Notes:
I find myself getting quite absorbed in this story and if I had enough followers to make a difference, I'd recommend it in my blog. I've always been a sucker for a good romance, but as I said, before long, any intervention of Dark or Adventure tags are going to seem more than a little out of place. There were a few mistakes I picked up on (such as minor spelling, grammar, tense and perspective derps) that could easily be polished off with a good proof-read, but you wouldn't need to worry too much unless you're trying to get onto EQD (They've picked me up on a few minor misuses of semi-colons and ellipses, that's how picky they are). At any rate, I look forward to future updates, as you seem to have left us at quite a cliffhanger in both arcs.
Enjoy your review! If you could check out my story Never too Shy to Love that'd really help me out, thanks!
Pony on my friend.
True Blood
2212016
Thank you ever so much for reviewing! Now comes my time to chip in on what you've said.
First off, I'm really happy that you're enjoying it.
Deep characterization and detailed descriptions were exactly what I wanted when I set out to write this fic and I'm glad it's been picked up on by readers such as yourself. People tend to shun OC-heavy fics so it's great to hear kind words about recommendations etc. (And Summer happens to be one of my favourite characters to write, also)
With regards to writing numbers out in full, I probably should have done that.
If I feel like it, I may go through everything I've written and change it all. (Though I swear I read some article saying that writing numbers out is pointless... Hmmm... I probably shouldn't have taken any notice of that)
As for the link between the two story arcs, the overwhelming ambiguity is something that I thought would be a problem. Originally, I wasn't going to have the Voice arc at all, and was just going to reference stuff that had happened in the past. However, I think that would've been the lazy route and would probably be quickly forgotten by the readers. Despite this, I knew that I couldn't just post the Voice arc all in one go and then switch to the rest for various reasons. The placing of each update to the Voice arc is deliberate, though they will be few and far between compared to the rest of the story. The link between the arcs will not become apparent for some time, but it's there. Sorry for any confusion.
As for your third point, I get that it's taking a while to get going, but I really didn't want to rush things. A major concern I have with a lot of OC fics is that character development often feels clunky and unnatural. Sometimes it's not even clear if a character does something because that's just the way they are or because of a personal change, and it makes it difficult to empathize with them. Yes, things are moving slowly, but gradual development is what I want for this story. I have four planned volumes (It's gonna be huge and I kind of hate myself for attempting something this ambitious
) so a vague synopsis was all I could really muster. Things will change for Rosa over the course of the story, however. As for what and how, I'll leave that for you to speculate.
I don't mean for this to come off as some defensive rant telling you that you're wrong or something like that because you've made valid points. I just thought it was worth weighing in on things with my own explanations.
The next update should be here by the weekend, and I sincerely hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Expect plenty of surprises.
OK, I'll add your fic to favourites and get to reviewing it fairly soon.
2211901 Oh, I understand the tie to the story as a big temporal jump that will tie in somehow, it just seemed that the jumps in time were random so I was confoozed
Anyways, yeah, I'm interested in this story and can't wait to read it as it develops, so I'll be sticking around!
PTMM also is really good, and am excited for it to be written, too.
I totally didn't stalk you. 
It's okay, Rosa. I've never been on a train either.
Also, we get hints to "The Princess." Singular. Coupled with a reference to Luna...and the "Winter Moon" celebration...
Dee has a point... so Celestia hasn't suddenly dissapeared, or been overthrown, or... gone on permanent vacation in the time since Twilight's arc and Rosa's? Huh... I was a little confused as to why the Summer Sun Celebration was in "olden times", but then I remembered this arc is set a significant amount of time after Twilight's. Anyway, nice chapter. I like the awkwardness between Rosa and Sparks, quite realistic.
Looking forward to future updates! Keep em coming
2248574>>2254412
Without spoiling too much, I will say that it'll be worth making a mental note of various things mentioned throughout the story. If something seems odd or inconsistent, chances are it means something. (Still a few things that apparently haven't been picked up on so far, but I wouldn't want to be too obvious)
Time to solve the whatdidtheydo!
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Legacy: The End of Harmony
Grammar: 9/10
~ Mostly issues with flow and commas here and there. There were a few times I had to reread a sentence to put the parts together.
A few examples I found:
(chapter 1) “Nopony here is a unicorn, how does it?”. I think you meant to have Ferry be cut off, but you'd want to include an ellipses or em dash.
(chapter 1) After Rosa says "Are you sure it’s not the trapped soul of some poor unicorn?", you need another space before the next line. Just a small formatting error~
Pros
~Takes the time to make the characters seem believable
~Littered with small hints here and there to reward the close readers
~Characters are all well-handled and feel very real
Cons
~The Voice of Reason section at the beginning feels disconnected until you get back to it so many chapters later
~Sometimes the narration repeats itself
~Occasionally, the description can be a bit much
Notes:
Let me say that I've really enjoyed what I've read so far. It's very relaxed and isn't afraid to take its time to really invite the readers into the character's worlds. If there was ever a time that I thought the characters might just be stereotypes, I was quickly proven wrong. So far, every single one of them has been believable, showing that they all have their own issues and secrets. The characters are all memorable and distinct, so great job there!
As for the prologue relating with the rest, I kept expecting it to come back sooner than it did. I understand that pulling off multiple stories that eventually merge together (and in two very different times, even!) is quite difficult, so I feel that it could use something more. We don't know much after the prologue, which leaves it as a separate entity from the following chapters. As for something that could help tell the reader that the prologue is still relevant, my first thought would be a narrator of some kind, maybe an unknown character from a point after the big reveal, commenting on how everything is related. That's just my suggestion, but I haven't read the next 100K words yet!
The narration as it is, though, has a tendency to say the same thing twice. In some points, it will remind readers of a character's traits and habits that have been mentioned multiple times before. Remember, sometimes brevity is better than using a whole lot of words! The best novels are remembered for their impact, not their word count
All in all, I'm definitely keeping up with future updates! Your strongest point is your characters, and they really carry things along quite nicely. The board game was also hilarious! I had quite a few good laughs, and I'm already invested in the characters~
(PS) One thing I felt was strange was the fact that everybody thought it was strange that Rosa liked crime and horror novels. I didn't think it was strange at all, but then again, most of my friends are like her
Edit: Oh, and one last thing! Make sure to keep reactions believable. The one that stuck out to me was when Summer called Rosa "Strider", but Sparks didn't even mention it or ask why~
2262600
I'm glad you're enjoying it. Time to weigh in on what you had to say!
Thank you for the review!
The Voice of Reason arc was a difficult choice for me, as I initially wasn't going to include it at all but was merely going to reference certain events. However, when reading it back it felt like a case of lazy writing, and readers would either forget it all or wonder if there would be a chapter that explained it, and end up disappointed. I couldn't have all of the chapters told in one sitting (making them their own separate volume) but I didn't want to leave them out. In the end, this method of telling piece by piece throughout was the best choice I could think of. And as for getting some narration referencing things that have happened... it simply wouldn't be a good decision this early on in the story. (or at least, nothing too obvious like "remember when this happened, blah blah blah") I will say that Voice of Reason is arguably the most important character in this story.
Repeating narration... that's probably a cause of my writing habits. Writing a few chapters takes me several weeks, but can be read in the space of a few hours. I guess it makes me forget which particular things I may have already mentioned...
As for why ponies kept thinking it was weird for Rosa to read horror novels, imagine if Fluttershy admitted this in the show. Rosa might not be quite the adorable little cutie but her appearance and heart-shaped cutie mark would give off a similar vibe. On the other hoof, if Summer said that she liked horror books nopony would so much as blink.
As for Sparks not asking about Rosa's nickname, at that particular point he would have been too nervous about asking her out. If it had happened later on (let's say, after their first date) then he'd have been more inclined to ask since he'd feel more comfortable around her.
Oh, and as for my '170,000 pre-written', I'm currently only half way through volume 2, and there will be 4 volumes in total by the time this is finished.
I spent almost a year writing this without publishing anything, and now that I have a ton of stuff ready to just be edited and posted I'm mostly focusing on my two other works, 'Pinkie The Match-Maker' and 'No Regrets', which I am literally posting as soon as I finish a chapter. So... yeah. Expect this fic to keep going for another two years. 
(Part of me wishes I didn't undertake something so ambitious! lol)
2264976
Yeah, everything I pointed out was mostly small stuff, so if I have to dig that deep to find something, you can consider it a compliment~
Regardless of how much more there is, I'll keep on reading what you post
Whew, finally found time to read!
Also, Rosa totally tripped a loser flag with that last line. Fictional characters should have learned never say that things couldn't be better or couldn't be worse, because as soon as they do, something bad happens~
Also, I'm glad that things have reversed. Before, she was comparing him to Nico about everything, but now she's thinking that things are better than they would have been with him. Good on ya, Rosa!
Very nice detail, but this topic just doesn't interest me, sorry. I'll give it a like anyhow.
Great chapter. Can't wait to see what develops. Maybe Mr. Sparks will help her figure out just what her cutie mark means. Who knows
2369412
Lots of hugs for sticking with my ploddingly paced ramblings of a story!
Keep up with the speculation. Things are soon to get a bit more... Complicated...
2369499 Oh, it is a pleasure to hang around. I was tempted to stop reading fics until I read my faves like this again and now I'm stuck
No! Not more complications!
.... Must keep reading!
Whew, finally found time to read it and relax!
That director sounds like many auditions I've been to, heh... poor Berry
"Did the two of you share a romantic kiss under the stars? Did he sweep you off your hooves? Did he go down--"
Oh lord, Summer, you crack me up.
I actually think Summer is a closeted lesbian. That's why she got so upset when that unicorn teased her about being with Rosa, and why she acts so perverted about her friend's colt-friend but doesn't actually have one herself. She's over-compensating.
2395582
I'm glad to hear that my fic still entertains you!
Summer happens to be one of my favourite characters to write dialogue for.
As for the latter half of your post... *ahem* No comment.
Hmm... This chapter was enjoyable, but I think maybe Clover slid into the "holy cow, such an awesome actor" deal a bit too quickly. She could have stumbled over her lines for a bit, but after seeing her friends encouraging her from the 'audience', picked up her confidence and then get to the brilliant acting.
I'm still enjoying it
Just a thought. Keep it up
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Thanks for the suggestion, but... I couldn't possibly make that change. Clover being instantly awesome was entirely deliberate, and... I can't tell you any more.
Great to know you're still enjoying it though!
2445038
You're being very secretive about quite a number of things, so I'm starting to think that something is gonna go down sometime soon. I'm looking forward to it