I like it. Few mistakes, too.

I quite enjoyed the story, but MANY grammar/spelling mistakes.

To list a few:

"She peeked *in* (should be at) them seeing that everything had already been set up (at) the picnic."

"Applejack and Rainbow Dash were *of* (off) to the side having a fierce hoof wrestling match."

"They all agreed and helped *their selves* (themselves) to the assortment of treats that had been brought courtesy of Applejack."

"She thought maybe Twilight  could (help) her.

Punctuation was also off on quite a few sentences.

Your strengths are in plot design and character, but your weakness is in grammar/spelling. I suggest getting a few friends (Or online, if you're a closet brony like me) to spell check your work before uploading.

Satriark

>>152719152719 Thank you for reviewing over my work. I think I need to get a prereader to check over my stuff before I send it in from now on. I'll think about going back and fixing these mistakes later.Anyway, thanks for reading!

Great story. Those grammar mistakes confused me though...

>>158113158113 I'm sorry I re-read over my story last night and  found many of them I thought I had fixed when I was first creating the story. I guess not though. I plan on going back and fixing most of these later. Glad you enjoyed it though.

never like the cursing when I read ponies but otherwise was a very good read

This was a pretty good story. I had a smilier idea.