As the world grows and Equestria changes, so does the lovable little dragon Spike. His affection for the beautiful pony Rarity has grown stronger over the last few years, yet he's still viewed as a little one.
Making the choice to do anything for Rarity to share the same feelings for him, Spike sets out to make true a wish that he may find out was not what he really wanted all along.
Spike finds himself in a state that keeps him from the one he loves, and he leaves Ponyville. Will Rarity accept that though?
Driven closer to him through his determination, Rarity sets out to return him to where he belongs, but her journey may not return the results she desires.
Chapters (3)
Something sounds a little off here. Maybe... true a wish that he may find?
Noooo, hopefully he will not be stuck that way!
Well, Spike has been affect by magic, dragon or not.
*track*
Not a bad start albeit a slow one considering we're viewing the whole story in flashback mode basically. I'm a bit wordy though so maybe that's why i feel it just doesn't feel complete for a chapter to me. I've never been a fan of stories where the entirety of the action has already passed despite being brought along through it. That's a personal opinion, though, I'll keep an eye on it see where it goes. Hope things continue along well.
Great job! For a first story the beginning had impact, leaving a few questions, forming them, presenting a clear and cut future but now explaining how it got there, great, simply great. Update soon I'm fav'in!
2017902
Oh! Thank you thank you my dear compadre. I was in a bit of a rush the other night and didn't catch that, I do much so appreciate you pointing out that little slip up.
As for the rest of you, thank you SO much for this positive feed back. I have another story up on the site that is over 30,000 words long and that didn't get even close to as much praise as this did so fast.
Like I said, this is also my first attempt at a specifically romance themed story (Specifically, not exclusively) and I'm pleased to see how well it's being accepted. 
Oh, and one of these...because Sparity.
Oh, again, I also just posted the cover art I drew for this story. I think i'll put the link to my deviant art on my profile so people can look at it in full resolution.
Interesting. I'm going to follow this to see where this leads.
Wall of text sighted!
Abort mission!
You're still tense jumping a lot, and the, "narrate and then have the character actually do or say it," repettion is heavy.
Example: She was startled. Twilight said, "Try not to starttle me next time." I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.
2056481 Thank you for pointing that out. I know that I make a lot of those mistakes, which I'm working on improving. Also, I haven't really given myself the chance to proof-read these chapters for myself, because I was rather eager to publish them. When I go through them again I'll be sure to look out for those mistakes. Thank you.
2058636 Oh! Thank you. I hadn't caught that the first time through, I must have let my finger slip and pressed "s" instead of "d" by mistake.
This needs a proofreader to clean some errors and repetition issues. But at the moment I'd like to focus on this
Spike grew up in Canterlot, he has royal bushiness he attends to alone in Canterlot, and Spike most likely ran errands in Canterlot for Twilight. In other words, there is no way Spike would be even slightly worried about getting lost. Hell, he wanted to show the girls the sights in Canterlot and take them on a tour.
Yet another 'Spike is too young' excuse? Spike is only 5-7 years younger then Twilight. Good chapter though.
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Yea I know it's not the best excuse, but I think looking at it from the point of view of Rarity's character, and the fact that he is still a young child in dragon years, it seems like of all the characters, she would be the most likely to be concerned in that respect.
2175939
Hmm, uh. Not sure how to respond to that one. I suppose I didn't think that one through all that well, I'll be sure to clear up that character inconsistency. Thanks for pointing that out. Also, I know I need a proofreader, I type these chapters out and never take the time to properly proof read them outside of spell check simply because I'm so eager to publish them for people. So yea, a proofreader would help.
2177007 There's a group for that!
Trust me, it'll help a lot
SPOILER ALERT!!!
the sun shined brightly upon a small forest,
-shone
the sun always shined over this small forest,
-shone
as a favor from sister to brother.
-Celestia to ??? You give Celestia and Luna a brother? I give them two myself, so I look forward to finding out what you are doing here.
The small valley of which the forest was inside had walls that shined brightly in their vibrant reflective nature,
-You are wearing that word out (and it is still the wrong word I think).
The forest possessed many exotic animals of every kind, from birds flying through the canopy, to fish swimming in the small ponds scattered in the forest.
-I would give examples of the birds and fish, rather than just saying "birds" and "fish".
Despite the many inhabitants, the forest was mostly quiet, aside from the occasional chirping of birds and chittering of small mammals, but today it was slightly less so.
-Given the last phrase of this sentence, I would consider replacing "mostly" with "on most days" or "usually". I would also split this into two sentences. Maybe something like "Despite its many inhabitants, the forest was usually a quiet place, with only an occasional chirping or the chitter of a small mammal. Today was a bit more noisy though."
the visitor seems to have come distressed,
-Show, don't tell.
The guardian silences the visitor.
-Is there some particular reason for obscuring the identity of both creatures? All we know is that one of them is "large".
and unlike those that I watch over, the events that you have set in motion can not be persuaded.
-"those" beings, or "those" events?
Of natural means!
-By natural means
You seem to think I’ve forgotten, about who I once was.
-I'm a bit uncertain about commas, but I don't think you need this one.
Spike.”
-Ah! Finally a name!
The dragon stared at him solemnly and lowered his head to the ground,
-This reenforces my guess that Spike is the large one, meaning he has grown and changed proportions enough that he has a long neck and perhaps a quadrupedal stance.
·································································································
-Have you considered the line button built into FiMFiction?
The day when this event first came into conception
-This is very stilted.
after a nationwide summons to the royal palace in Canterlot.
-Summons of whom? The Element Bearers? If so I would recommend something that makes that plainer, such as "after the Element Bearers had been summoned from there scattered homes across Equestria." Which makes me think... starting off the whole story with "### Years After the Restoration of Princess Luna", or some other time-stamp might give a lot of clarity. Clarity should be maximized except where it would require a very large number of words, or a mystery is intentional (see the first scene of The Two Deaths of Fluttershy, which I will be to chapter 6 at least before I explicitly explain, although an astute reader will porobably have figured out long before then).
To most denizens this was big news, but Twilight and her friends, as well as Spike, had been expecting it.
-Twilicorn? And the "nationwide summons" means that Celestia summoned dignitaries from across Equestria to witness Twilight's coronation?
seeing as Spike had a couple small growth spurts in the last few years,
-Ok, so probably not Twilicorn.
which The Royal Sisters made sure would be present to mark the occasion of the day.
-"would be present" sounds awkward. Consider "had taken care to schedule for that day to create the correct ambiance". Or, if a pun wouldn't take away from the mood of the thing, use "atmosphere" instead of "ambiance".
The two of them spoke cheerfully to eachother about the events that had just passed
-Again, I am not seeing any reason for obfuscating the details of what exactly happened. Who got a throne? Twilight after "merely" being a princess and alicorn?
That speech didn’t really take up a lot of time.
-Probably wasn't Twilight giving it then...
That seemed like a good idea.
-I would think that going to the party would be obvious given its existence. Consider something more along the lines of "So of course we will be going to that." Actually, I find it a bit odd that Spike didn't know about it already. Pinkie strikes me as being pretty thorough about invitations. I also find it odd that the party would be scheduled for a time where a long speech would mean missing it on the one hand, or that Twilight wouldn't have scheduled it (and informed Spike ahead of time) on the other. This is even taking into account that Pinkie might have it scheduled for "After the ceremonies".
-I will continue this in another comment.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
but anyways I love Pinkie’s parties.
-"anyways" isn't erudite enough for Twilight I don't think. Consider "but naturally I'm not going to miss one of Pinkie's parties." or something like that.... Oh, wait, this is Spike talking... you need a paragraph break between Spike talking, and Twilight's action.
“Oh yea. Ahw, but Twi-”
-I recommend "Aww"
You seem to be forgetting that mess you made in the upstairs library the other day.
-I would just say "that mess you made upstairs."
What are you going to do when you get bigger and you end up knocking things down all the time?
-This reminds me, we have very little idea how big Spike is in the initial scenes.
-And this is where I stopped and shifted to talking to you on Skype.
Hmmm... an interesting start, setting up Spike's dislike well, but its the guardian scene that REALLY gets my interest and makes on want to read on.
RIP