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PRINCESS LUNA: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a PRINCESS LUNA unit of your very own! For your safety and the protection of your sanity, we have provided this manual to ensure you are fully aware of the risks and the functions of this unit to be able to fully enjoy our product by squeezing every last drop of wonderful out of it!
WARNING: This unit has a tendency to:
Be violent
Declare eternal night
Speak in Middle English
Tick off PRINCESS CELESTIA units from time to time
Reading of this guide will lower the chances of any of the above happening. (Except the Middle English part. We can't do anything about that. It's in her basic programming.)
Name: Her casual name is Luna, though she prefers Princess Luna unless you are exceptionally close to her. She also responds to Regent of the Night, though constant repetition of that title will make her a narcissist.
Age: She took her driving test on a dinosaur. A moon dinosaur.
Place of Manufacture: The Moon
Height: Around an average male's height
Weight: Exactly 500 kilograms, the normal weight for a pony her size. However, if she eats too much she will gain weight but not care much, stating 'trans-dimensional planetary movement' is very good exercise.
Length: Longer then normal mares but not as long as our PRINCESS CELESTIA unit.
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) black crown
One (1) moon bib
One (1) Nightmare Moon outfit
Ten (10) bottles of moonshine (Not meant for human consumption, unless you want to get arrested. Order from us if you require more.)
WARNING: Do not point out how her moon bib 'looks like it's designed for fillies'. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit may become violent if so, and have a distinct chance of going into Infuriated mode.
Programming
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit is capable of doing the following:
The Boss: She can't be a tyrant like our PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, but she can be bossy! Imagine if you're assigned to a group project for school, and your teammates are a bunch of douchebags who will surely leave all the work to you. Simply set PRINCESS LUNA loose on them with the promise of friendship and 'you're doing the right thing', and they'll be a-working in no time! (WARNING: Both physical or psychological damage caused by our PRINCESS LUNA has to be taken responsibility of by the owner of the unit.)
Actress: With her Shakespearean English and wonderfully developed acting skills from centuries of mental trauma, backstabbing and fake love, your PRINCESS LUNA will be the perfect actress! Never mind that she has the body of a pony; have you ever heard of stage design before? Heck, any scriptwriter with good sense will take pleasure in somehow throwing a talking pony into a sacred, already-perfect play!
Rebel: Your country is being taken over by a crappy president? Student council turning into the high school equivalent of the US Congress? No fear! Your PRINCESS LUNA has tons of experience on rebelling from way back during her Nightmare Moon days! All you need to do is explain why rebelling is needed; if she approves, leave the publicity, riots and eventual succession to her! If she doesn't approve, just bribe her with cake. However, this may make your unit go into Nightmare Moon mode if she is left doing this for too long.
Drinker: Your PRINCESS LUNA loves moonshine to bits, ever since she made it many eons ago. This had made her extremely alcohol-tolerant and she can definitely win any drinking contest, no matter the drink (though moonshine is preferred. Preferred very, very much.)
Removal of your PRINCESS LUNA unit from Packaging
While our PRINCESS LUNA unit is one of rational judgement, there are some things that will get on her nerves, especially if the delivery man says that the package had encountered bad traffic while it was being delivered. To avoid instant death or loss of body parts, we have tested and proven that the following methods will successfully remove your unit from her packaging!
1. Fill a wine glass with moonshine and let the smell swill towards the box, or clink it on another wine glass. It is advised to hide behind a strong object whilst doing it, as there will be a 90% chance of flying wood splinters as your PRINCESS LUNA unit scrambles out of the box to get it. Once she breaks out, she will chug down the moonshine, though it is recommended to keep it away from your unit to avoid getting your unit drunk. Your unit will apologize for her behavior and introduce herself to you. Recommended.
2. Get a PRINCESS CELESTIA unit in Motherly mode (default) to coax your unit out of the box. It will normally work well in all modes except Nightmare Moon mode. If your value your house and your life, it is advised not to use this method if there is even the slightest chance your unit is in Nightmare Moon mode. Also, if used when the PRINCESS LUNA unit is in Lunaughty mode, you might want to reprogram your unit quickly if you are not in the pairing.
3. Say 'TO THE MOON!' in the best PRINCESS CELESTIA voice you can manage, preferably sounding like you are in Trollestia mode. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit will start shaking so hard the box will start to fall apart. You can remove the lid, and your PRINCESS LUNA unit will be overjoyed you are not in fact a PRINCESS CELESTIA unit. You can then proceed to introduce yourself. Recommended. (Just don't tell your PRINCESS LUNA unit you said that, or she might go into Infuriated mode. This unit isn't exactly the brightest bulb we've manufactured, just wise.)
4. Get your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit in FRIEEEEEEEENDSHIIIIIIP mode (default) to coax your unit out of the box. Works the same way with Method 2, except your unit may end up destroying your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit if in Nightmare Moon mode instead of just wrecking the place.
Reprogramming
After unpacking your PRINCESS LUNA unit, you can reprogram her into any of the following modes:
Awkward (Default)
Trusting (Default)
Infuriated
Nightmare Moon
Philosophical/Emo
Lunaughty
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit is more easily reverted back to her default modes, Awkward and Trusting, than most other units. In her default modes, she is uncomfortable with new technology and rather socially retarded, but eager to learn and gain new friendships, trusting others to help her if she is in need. She also has an attachment to nostalgic objects and moonshine.
In Infuriated mode, which is triggered whenever you hurt a unit close to her or say a snide comment, she will become violent and revert back to her Royal Canterlot voice, screaming at you and possibly bucking you out of the window before ransacking your house for moonshine. A single cup of moonshine can revert her back to her default modes, and she will apologize for behaving so foalishly. She may potentially damage priceless family artifact or break into the neighbor's house to look for moonshine in this mode.
Your PRINCESS LUNA may also go into Nightmare Moon mode, which is attained when your unit is in Infuriated mode for too long or is too rebellious for extended periods of time, eventually snapping or developing her own 'revolutionary ideas'. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit is extremely hostile to PRINCESS CELESTIA units in this mode. Your unit may not necessarily want to cause eternal night, but she might have equally batshit insane ideas.
Philosophical/Emo is unlocked by you telling your PRINCESS LUNA unit that no, she doesn't actually raise the moon, and that she is in fact a robot with no magical talents whatsoever, and that her cutie mark is obsolete. She will immediately start thinking in deep, philosophical terms, contemplating her existence while chugging down bottles of stolen moonshine. She does not cause any injuries or damages in this state, but she may end up causing a filthy stinking mess all over your house whenever she pukes from being too drunk. This is reversed by leaving your PRINCESS LUNA unit with an Encouraging TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit.
Lunaughty mode is activated when your unit is drunk, or when the mating season comes around. She will start using her Royal Canterlot voice to broadcast her availability and command all lesser males, pony or human, to elope with her. This mode can be deactivated by either knocking out your unit, resetting her CLOCK programming or locking her up in a dark room till she satisfies herself with her hoof.
Your PRINCESS LUNA unit does not currently have any overly destructive end-of-the-world modes which have been locked, and we do not plan to change that unless a large amount of people send us money.
Relationships with Other Units
PRINCESS CELESTIA: Your unit shares a love-hate relationship with her sister. While your PRINCESS LUNA unit loves the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit for sparing her and caring for her despite what she has done, she despises the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit for being overly popular and having a tendency to switch to Trollestia mode in the most unneeded of times. Other then that, your unit gets along very well with the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, and the chance of romance is highest with this unit.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE: The TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit is very close to your unit, as she was the first to approach your PRINCESS LUNA unit to be friends. They get along very well, though the TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit does not approve of your unit's drinking habits. There is a moderate chance of romance with this unit.
MANE SIX PACK: Your unit gets along well with the entire Mane Six, and will approach them in a time of need.
Cleaning
Your PRINCESS LUNA may have slight problems using the shower/any piece of modern technology and prefers to bath in a clean pond. It is advised to provide an idiot-proof method for her to clean herself.
Rest
The PRINCESS LUNA unit is nocturnal and sleeps around dawn, awaking at dusk to 'raise the moon'. She believes sleep is very important and it is advised to only wake her up during her sleeping time if it is of absolute emergency. She may also fall asleep when she is too drunk on moonshine to wander the world of the conscious.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. My unit is demanding me for moonshine! What do I do?
A. Give her the moonshine. QUICKLY.
Q. My unit is in Philosophical/Emo mode without me telling her anything!
A. There is a possibility that she has discovered moonshine is now considered illegal. It is advised to tell her that the moonshine from our company is perfectly legal, while making sure not to mention it is legal because she is a robot and not a sentient being.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of the PRINCESS LUNA unit, you received a small filly with light blue hair and no cutie mark. She is unable to talk in English and stares at the moon a lot. She also loves the PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, clinging onto her.
Solution: Oops! We sent you a FILLY PRINCESS LUNA unit. She is only able to talk in Moonwhinny and still has not been able to raise the moon. We can send you a replacement if so.
Problem: Your unit is starting to brew moonshine and sell it illegally.
Solution: Uh-oh! As you can see, your unit's alcohol habit causes many, many problems. It is advised to stop her or make her kick her habit before you are arrested by authorities.
End Notes
If treated with proper respect and given friendship, your PRINCESS LUNA unit will surely bring light to your life! We wish you the best of luck with your unit!
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oh well *reads anyway*
Apart from a few spelling errors, this was a highly enjoyable chapter to read at 2 in the morning:
"trans dimensional" (needs a hyphen)
"Simply set PRINCESS LUNA loss" ("loss" should be "loose")
"awaking at dusk to 'rise the moon" ("rise" should be "raise")
"unable to talk in English and stars at the moon a lot" ("stars" should be "stares")
"not been able to rise the moon" ("rise" should be "raise")
You might want to change the story from its current Completed status to Incomplete
)
Image: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133543563187.png
Oh well its feautred so it musnt be
1) If I supply Luna with Applejack (the booze) instead of Moonshine, is that considered cannibalism? :philosoraptor:
2) Will she go into philosophic/emo mode if she is told or finds out that she is a character in a show ment to amuse little girls?
3) Will she go into philosophic/emo mode after destroying another unit and seeing that the insides are oil, servos, and metal rather than blood, muscle, and bone?
4) Can Filly Luna earn her cutie mark?
5) Will she get out of Lunaughty mode if we satisfy her ourselves or will that cause her to stay in that mode?
6) Will she give us pony rides and allow us to put a riding saddle on her?
7) How good is she for home security?
8) Will she respond to "Woona"?
Those are all of my questions, glad to see these come back with a vengence starting with Luna
1) Nope. Booze is booze, and it is tasty booze. Says Luna.
2) She'll be amused, watch it, and then become emo. It's really never been tested before.
3) Do not worry. The units have their eyes re-programmed to see oil and metal branded with out company tags as blood and flesh. Of course, this may cause problems if they see our delivery truck after a car crash.
4) FILLY PRINCESS LUNA comes with a free stick-on cutie mark. It can be applied after she 'raised the moon' and will stay on unless you burn the unit. Be sure to apply carefully so it does not fold and the pressure on her flank can be excused as you 'examining her cutie mark'.
5) It depends on how good you are at... satisfying.
6) Sorry, pony rides to children only. She likes children. ...In the motherly way.
7) Very good. Just tell her that she would be paid with cake/moonshine if she kept evil people out of the house.
8) No, she'll just look at you weirdly. She isn't given a pet name and our PRINCESS CELESTIA unit has an excellent command of English.
Excellent!
Image: http://www.sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/681.jpgThis stuff's hilarious. Wish these were real though, then I'd have a reason to build an underground arena for purposes of otherwise dubious legality.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
Success stories:
My Luna unit sat down to watch the Discovery Channel, only to discover that the Moon rose by itself. After a few days of inner reflection and sorrow, Luna decided to do something new with her life. Every night, My Luna don's the alter-ego of 'Batmare' and goes out fighting evil and evil doers.
While I was worried about her at first, she came to me asking if I knew any 'Evil Doers' that needed to be fought. As luck would have it, I have a fairly long list of people who I feel deserve a kick to the head. My neighbors dog hasn't been doing his business on my front lawn anymore these days.
I love my sweet little Luna, but I feel she needs a sidekick as 'Batmare'. Who would you recommend I get to aid her?
Okay, I didn't like the whole 'Lunaughty' and 'Drinker' things, but I ordered anyway. But when I opened the box, this came out.
Image: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/260/b/8/mlp_fim_luna_woona_by_atticus83-d4a5exi.pngShe's a filly, pre nightmare moon, AND she has her cutie mark. Oh, and she doesn't have 'Lunaughty' and 'Drinker' (Duh, she's like a preteen.) and instead, comes with.'Fangirl' mode.
Best. Model. Ever.
Yes! Can't wait for more!
Who will you do next?
>>648508 They're references to other successful stories on here (I think)
Lunaughty is the sequel to the famous Molestia story, by the same author (I think its StreakTheFox).
And drinker, well, I think its a reference to Drop of Moonshine by Pen Stroke, who also wrote Past Sins.
Random questions:
1: If I use opening method 4 and it turns out that my model is in Nightmare Moon mode, but the other mane 6 models are around as well, would the the Twilight model still be destroyed or would the Mane 6 react in time?
2: Do the Cutie Mark Crusaders have models based off the fandom versions of them? (Such as a bone-fiend Applebloom from "Story of the Blanks", a Sweetie Belle that is obviously a robot like in "Friendship is Witchcraft", or the grown-up Scootaloo from "The End of Ponies")
>>647791 You missed one:
"...slight problems using the shower/any piece of modern technology and prefers to bath in a clean pond."
Should be bathe
Other than that, I haven't minded my Luna unit from enjoying the finer things in life. I do however, have a simple problem: she's lost her infatuation with moonshine and has taken to stealing wine from various stores late at night. She'll still drink moonshine under the delusion that she thinks it makes me think she's sexier. I would like an answer to this ASAP, the spirit is willing but the body is squishy...
>>648475 I'm sure your Rainbow Dash unit would go along with it. You do have a Rainbow Dash unit right?
>>648274 The original was posted before there was a rule, so she updates these as "chapters" *wink wink*. I am of the belief it is a BS rule, though. I don't think it has anything to do with it being "not a story" and more to do with "one or more mods on the team found it annoying and quashed it before it became a fad."
1) Will Luna become emo when she either figures out or is told why your delivery truck is a mess of blood and flesh rather than crumpled metal like the other cars?
2) Will she give us pony rides if we pay in cake/booze?
3) Will she accept pet names or nicknames if we call her one long enough?
4) Do I need to be on par with professional porn stars if we opt to DIY the Lunaughty situation?
5) What are Luna's thoughts on cheap pisswater beer or boxed wine?
6) Can we teach Luna how to use modern technology?
7) Does it reflect poorly on us as a whole when "She likes children." requires the clarification of "...In the motherly way"?
Uh, question: Contrary to what the manuals say about the units in general Luna seems to genuinely be able to use REAL magic and has gone into a in-between mode of her normal settings and Nightmare Moon and is now teaching my Trixie model how to also use REAL magic as well. I told them as long as they don't actually take over the world they can stay here, but I'm not sure how long that will last given that they've taken to making metal golems out of the scrap metal at the junk yard and are making quite the sizable army.
Help? 
Princess Luna Manual?!?!
Image: http://fim.413chan.net/fic/src/130221079136-Luna_happy.jpg*Nightmare Moon comes out, cracks homemade whip*
NOW BACK TO WORK!
Huh.. haven't read a user manual in quite some time..
I remember my first purchase was a KOEI brand Lu Bu unit. Damn thing impaled a fat man on a christmas tree on new years and was promptly gunned down by the police... good thing I took the owner's tag off it! 
Anyways, When is the SCOOTALOO model coming out? I've been meaning to adopt for a while now and a SCOOTALOO unit would make an excellent older sister to any child I may be lucky enough to have. 
1: Only if you bought the MANE SIX EXPANSION PACK, which had the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY come with them free. Though they do not produce real magic- we have only programmed the magical gem our DISCORD unit comes with to do that- they will trick your PRINCESS LUNA unit into submission.
2: They are currently suggested to be made, but have not been approved yet. Until they become popular to the point of definite profit, they will not be made.
(Except Sweetie Bot. Sweetie Bot has been made and the manual is somewhere on the site. By Wilhelm II, Kaiser.)
We suggest a system check by our services and perhaps some clock resetting is in order. Your unit may be going into the earlier stages of Lunaughty mode. Also, write an apology letter to stores/feign ignorance. The latter is advised.
1) Your PRINCESS LUNA unit might go into permanent shock and suffer a full system shutdown if not tended to by our staff immediately. Please note that full system shutdown and potential breakage caused by unfortunate viewing of a crashed company truck that shocks and breaks the circuits through extreme mental trauma is not covered under our refund policy.
2) She may accept if she knows you well. You should preferably prepare lots of both.
3) If they are degrading, such as 'Shithead', 'Moonbitch' or the like, she will probably go into Infuriated mode each time and never accept it. However, if it is neutral or rather cute, such as the aforementioned 'Woona', she will start to respond to it, though it is advised to ask your unit if the nickname is considered alright to her. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit will probably either say yes or throw you off the roof.
4) There is no need, though it will definitely make her Lunaughty mode last a shorter time as she will be satisfied faster. Also, this may cause your unit to go into Lunaughty mode more easily and be far less sorry in the future.
5) It depends of how good they are. Of course, the former would be considered 'ew', but she will probably drink it as it is a waste not to.
6) Of course, though she might take a few months to familiarize herself with everything, and the constant progression of technology will not cease to amaze her for a long, long, long time.
7) We have put in the clarification because of some customers calling us to confirm in the first edition. So yes, it does reflect rather badly.
Contact us immediately. The only unit we have available at the moment capable of using magic is the DISCORD unit, and that is because a customer had funded us a few thousand dollars to develop a gem for it. Your PRINCESS LUNA unit may have come across one and used it on herself, also absorbing it. While our metal is made to take in the gem, it is unstable in other units apart from our DISCORD unit. It seems the TRIXIE unit might have absorbed one too, or your PRINCESS LUNA unit had passed on some magical power to her.
In any case, contact us before they explode. We will not cover any insurance.
Dear Timpeni or any other support personnel,
Um a few questions...
1) Is it normal for my Luna and Celestia unit to knock me out during certain months, and I awake up feeling very exhausted and drained of energy?
2) Erm... how should I put this... there have been reports of several kidnaps and murder attempts around my apartment building, and it seems my Pinkie and Fluttershy units seem to disappear during said times of murder attempts and kidnaps. What should I do about this?
3) Can the Twilight unit use genuine magic? I have been seeing a LOT of floating books lately.
4) It has been unusually sunny around my area, can you please explain this?
Thanks in advance for your support.
Ps. At the time of writing my Rarity unit asked where the leather straps and belts were kept, I accidentally pointed her to the right direction.
It's kinda creeping me out now... she even ordered a whip using my credit card. I also heard her talking to Applejack about something...
I'm scared.
Reply ASAP.
>>654281 Thanks for your reply, but I think I'm too late... I have ran far from my apartment, they all tried to catch me but I escaped. I hear hoofsteps coming from the other end of the alley I am in, I don't have much time, but if anyone manages to raed this, please pick me up at 127h9holakdawf HELP MEoua,fasf
Oh dear, I am very sorry for that awful text spam, but it seems we have caught up with Maple, excuse him for a few hours, we have some FUN to do....
-Rarity.
PS Confound these boards of keys you use, it took me an hour to type this in. They aren't even keys!
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Image: http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/love/lust/passionate.gif>>654302 Rarity dear, please leave Maple alive in some fashion. I need a nonpony to get me out of this place. My Princess Celestia unit locked me away until I finish crafting more ponies. The Luna unit has tried to get me out only to steal wine from places and wait for me on my sorry excuse of a bed. My poor bed, it used to be a bed until Fluttershy and Luna fought to the death over me, I'd like to know why Luna didn't go emo from that by the way...
1) In the event of a complete system shut down due to seeing one of your wrecked trucks, will I at least get a replacement Luna?
2) We should get a refund in the event of a complete system shut down since your company knows about that defect and put the Luna units on the market without a means of fixing it. Your company should offer the option of a refund or replacement in the event of that situation. In addition your company should offer a fix in the future or should perform a complete recall.
3) What happens when there is more than one Luna in the room together?
1) No, you will not. It is your responsibility to seek help/keep her away before full system shutdown. We are not at fault as the car crash will definitely be an unfortunate incident and we will not be liable for the breakage of the unit.
2) From 2010, we have created, in total, 58 previous prototypes, 5 which have been released and recalled. You currently have the 59th PRINCESS LUNA unit. We are working to replace our trucks, which will be a faster solution, than another recall. It is not that hard to call for a fix, which is free- the shortest time recorded for the PRINCESS LUNA unit to go into full system shutdown was 2 hours.
3) They will be confused as first, then intrigued. Then, they will say 'Wow! Another me!' and proceed to do many silly inter-clone activities. However, during mating season, they may destroy each other as they will view each other as potential competition. (Your unit isn't narcissistic enough to mate with herself.)
My Trixie unit just went ka-blooie a few days ago and Luna is now in Emo-mode and has indeed ejected a strange glowing gemstone from her mouth while I was having Ramen noodle soup for lunch. I saw this in the bathroom mirror while I stopped to use the restroom, but when I came back out I couldn't find the gem anywhere. By any chance is it normal for it to shrink over time? If so I just might have swallowed it because for the last day and a half my bodily fluids (blood, saliva, urine, snot) have been glowing. Is that bad, or will it eventually break down on its own?
I would like to report something rather worrying.
During one of my Luna unit's nightly 'Batmare' trips, she encountered a Discord unit dressed up in an outfit similar to the one worn by Kefka from final fantasy killing another Discord unit and ripping the Chaos gem from the remains before devouring it for himself. Three other Discord units have been destroyed for the same reason. Luna's conversations with this rogue Discord unit suggest that he is following in Kefka's footsteps, merely trying to gather enough magical energy to A) Declare himself the god of magic and B) Become powerful enough to cast Light of Judgement on people and smite them from the face of the Earth for kicks.
I'm not sure who the rogue unit belongs to, but I felt that you should be made aware of the situation. Please advise.
>>656010 I wish to clarify, my Luna unit has indeed gone Lunaughty and I don't mind some times, but it is much like I said. I have been feigning ignorance, and she's sound enough to go to places I wouldn't go in the first place. I would also like to report that she tends to take my belts and use them to restrain herself. I don't want to even ask where she got the riding crop from. Is it bad that my unit's a masochist? If so, then is it bad that my Fluttershy feels one-uped by Luna and demands to be treated the same? If both are true then must I check their internal clocks for a system mishap?
How does a PRINCESS LUNA interact with her "moon bib"? Or are you referring to her black collar-piece?
Do you sell PIPSQUEAK units? My unit encountered one at a convention, insisted we adopt it, and I would like to be sure it is legitimate before mating season comes around...
When my unit enters Nightmare Moon mode, my PRINCESS CELESTIA unit will occasionally collect the Elements of Harmony from the MANE 6 units and attempt to banish her to the moon. This, of course, does not work, much to all units' surprise. How should I handle this?
I'M THROWING MONEY AT THE SCREEN BUT NOTHINGS- nevermind, my LUNA unit just arrived! She's my first so I can't open the box with conventional means... should i just open it? What's the worst that could happen? Um... this unit doesn't usually come with lingerie, does it?... when exactly is horse mating season?
I opened my box and got these:
Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/4547163b3aea47dca29d51779c292798/127570%20-%20artist%3Amadmax%20celestia%20cewestia%20filly%20luna%20sisters%20wingboner%20woona.pngand i'm luvin it
"Yes, ma'am, this is Hasbro Units Incorporated, what can I possibly do for you..."
"Do you have any spare FILLY PRINCESS LUNA units sitting around? I'd love to have one."
"Yes, ma'am."
"How much are they...?" 
...
... "That's...quite a bit too expensive, don't you think?"
"I don't know, ma'am. I don't price these things."
"Hmm...well, in place of a FILLY PRINCESS LUNA, I will take one permenantly Lunaughty PRINCESS LUNA unit and one TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit. I simply adore Luna/Twi stories, especially Romance Reports, and I want to see them act it out and make sweet love...and possibly get some action in as well..."
..."...Fine. Please state your adress and your phone number so we may contact you in the future in case anything has gone wrong with your package."
"549-8800, 243 Pegasi Way, Manehattan, Equestria, third house on the right."
"I'm sorry, we don't ship to fictional universes where talking ponies exist."
"Wha...you don't...don't ship to...AGH!" I hang up the phone angrily, slamming it back down with my magic. "They say they don't ship here!"
"That's okay," laughs Twilight Sparkle, reclining on my bed next to Princess Luna, "you can still watch us make sweeeet looooove." They link hooves and kiss each-other on the cheek, and Twilight moans huskily as they pretend to go at it. Luna utters an overly-dramatic outcry of "OH TWILIGHT," and the duo make exaggerated bucking motions with their hips, trying not to laugh but breaking down in a moment and pounding the bed sheets with their hooves.
"Yeah, Blaze," says Luna, "the only way you would've gotten to see us 'do it' is if you ordered those...what do you call them, robots?"
I glare at her. "How much longer do you have to stay here, anyways?"
"Because this little skit of yours requires that we be in the same room as you to make the joke humorous, I'd say until the end of this fairly-long comment." Twilight blinks boredly, unconscious that she's broken the fourth wall.
"Um...okay."
(I believe a modern, english-speaking Luna is much better than an ancient, akward, 'YE OLDE ENGLISHE' speaking Luna, so that's why I had her speak the way I did. Also, I support the TWI/LUNA pairing immensly, and they're actually making out right next to me, this time sincerely, and I'd better stop typing before the writer of this story gets angry at me for being excessively and utterly too wordy. )
Same thing happened to me, except I had five of each unit... And all were in horny.
And no one said they reacted to fanfictions about themselves 
Fluttershy was watching a video about bunnies, and clicked Shed.mov... Then she went emo... Pinkie saw Pinkie's Cupcakes and locked herself in the closet... And Dashie... Let's just say I stayed with Pinkie...
But al their batteries ran out! I'm so happy 
Now to buy ten more of each 
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