Twilight Sparkle and Applejack see a mysterious pony at the border between the Everfree Forest, and Sweet Apple Acres. Little did they know that this pony is the Great and Powerful Trixie herself. Through a course of events, the tales of Trixie's mishaps in the Everfree make their way to the mane six. Quickly, a romance develops between Trixie and Twilight.
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But, It'd be a little easier to read if you split it up into paragraphs.
i liked it as many trixie and twilight stories their are this is a good one.
I like the story in it's simplicity but ... I got to say that
story are redundant and that I prefer to see them as friends 
You still need to reread your story before posting them because sometimes words are missing, except from that I got nothing wrong to say and
I will gladly wait for the next chapter
2009798
I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter. Thanks for commenting!
Love this story. So far so good
Wall of text, never a good sign. When you make a new paragraph, space it so it's easier to read, like so:
“Twilight! Twilight! Are you having super awesome fun today? Can I join? Pretty please?” questioned Pinkie Pie whilst jumping around Twilight in a circle.
“I haven’t had much fun yet, but if you tag along with me to Sweet Apple Acres, perhaps I might,” replied Twilight.
“Yippee!” shouted Pinkie, who then proceeded to give Twilight a quick hug. Twilight, caught off guard, gently pushed Pinkie away, and they set out on their way.
Trixie had been walking for hours. She was trembling, and could hardly stand. The dark forest was her world. The black grass, the mysterious-looking animals, and the night were here only companions. Her will to live was the only thing keeping her alive. While strong, it was diminishing with each step she took. She took a step ahead.
“Will I die?” she thought to herself. She placed another hoof in front of her. What is to become of me?” she pondered. Suddenly, she could not hold herself up any longer. Trixie rocked from side to side. The world was spinning before her very eyes. She fell to the ground with a thud.
It's easier to read, that's enough reason to do it. Also, try to keep your paragraphs 4-5 lines long, too long and it becomes a headache to read.
"A Wild Wall-of-Text Appeared In The Tall Grass!"
"What Will You Do?"
Run<<
tl;dr I want to read this, but massive walls of text are just terrible.
some constructive criticism: use spaces and indents. spaces and indents. makes it easier to read.
2012111:2011827>>2012785
Later today, I will edit the story to create spacing. I really should have done that earlier. My apologies.
Edit:
And, it's back up, with all of the necessary spacing.
Have you started writing next chapter yet? I am really looking forward to what is going to happen next
2022135
Yes, I have. It could be up sometime this weekend.
But it could take a week to finish.
On a side note, I'm very happy that you like it!
Okay, okay, okay.
This is too quick. I like the concept but it simply feels ... rushed.
Therefore, I truly believe that it would be better if you gave more detail.
Or horizontal rules. Lines. To seperate sections because it's a bit confusing. Like this
[hr ]
Without the space,
I really like it
I for one love the store and cant wait untell the next part is out.
But I have to agree with the others it needs work but other wise keep going it can only get better from here on.
have 5 hearts on me
OMG I NEED MORE!!
I love this book so much 
Write more
A few? A few people like this? More like 40 people including me! This was great pls right more!
I had an extra 'like' lying around. I am leaving it here.