<

Jabber99er

Joined January 2013
1 followers

Stories (1)

  • Chatter and Pinkie, a love story.
    A stallion here to buy sugarcube corner may be falling in love with the competition.

    2,018 words · 138 views · 4 likes · 2 dislikes

This story is about  Chatter Box. A young, blue stallion from Dole corp., a corporation who wants to buy sugarcube corner! But everything changes when a young, pink mare with a knack for defying physics turns his life, and his heart, upside down.

First Published
20th Jun 2013
Last Modified
20th Jun 2013

Comments ( 3 )

#1 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 5d ago · 1 · 2 ·

Wow. This story is TERRIBLE!

Too short of chapters, a real life company in a fictional universe, and OC X  Pinkie Pie.

You didn't even TRY!

#2 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 5d ago · · ·

i really dont think that this is terrible! i think it's really good, you should continue it!

#3 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2752437

You didn't even try to write what he did wrong instead of just stating this story is terrible. Can you give detailed reasons!  

Back to story, it is not awful and has potential but you failed to execute it. Try making longer chapters above 1000 words at least. pacing was a tad rushed and it has potential to become a Gary Stu. I understand if this is not a troll fic you tried, just get a proof reader and editor to spruce It up and I would be better. :twilightsmile:

0 77842 254092
Login or register to comment