"Concerned about the confidence of some of her students, Cheerilee enlists Rainbow Dash to take six children..."

"They are so doomed."

YES!  

(Frankly I've been waiting for someone to go the 'Dash takes care of children, hilarity ensues' route, and I'm glad that this has finally happened.    )

Tracking with the force of a thousand suns.

I am so gonna track this, and not just because of potential MacDash.

That's my own hopes. Don't let me get in the way of your schemes.

this looks like it'll be a fun story!

and like BlackM stated, MacinDash Potential!

This promises to be fun, but please tell me you're not just going to have Big Macintosh go through the whole thing without ever saying anything but "Eeyup." Yes, he says it a lot, but it's not the only thing he ever says. Just remember the episode Applebuck Season; he was speaking in complete sentences in the scenes where he appeared.

>>150459150459

Heh, no problem he WILL talk. I just wanted to play with the whole 'eeyup' thing at least once before I choke some complete sentences out of him.

Rainbow Dash teaching the little fillies and colts how to be confident and be able to camp... Epona and Gaea help them all.

One little thing: re-read the sentence with Ditzy's spinning eyes. You might notice an error.

Great chapter though. Just try not to paint Mac as 'submissive' all the way through; I know you're trying to make Rainbow the loud one, but he's sort of coming off as a bit of a beta faggot at the moment. Food for thought and all that.

Keep up the good work.

Hmm... ok with Big Mac balancing out Rainbow's.... Awesomeness maybe they won't have as many problems as I first thought.... that is assuming of course the foals don't kill or seriously maim each other first.

So there might be the possibility of MacDash, always nice, and Pip, Archer and Dinky becoming best of buds.

>>152332152332 Forgive him if he seems somewhat docile, yeah? If I were him, I'd still be thinking on the potential foreshadowing in Applejack's last comment in the first chapter. Dash is gonna do her absolute best to rip those foals a new one (a new sense of self-confidence, you understand), and Mac's no dumb mule--he was probably struck with premonitions of doom not five minutes after agreeing to this little adventure.

So Dinky is the chief of the group, always thought Snails talent was french cuisine, most people just go for the slow thing. Anyway looking forward to this, and more of Dashie trying to take charge over Big Mac, that looks like it'll be entertaining.

>>152332152332

Don't worry. Big Mac will have his moment and have his say. I just imagine him as a more strong but silent, go with the flow kinda pony....up to a point, anyway.

MUST HAVE MOAR!!

I AGREE WITH DARKLORD! Please sir, may I have some moar? *shows really bad puppy face*

>>155521155521 PLEASE IS FOR THE WEAK YOU MUST DEMAND MOAR!!

*in a Kosh voice* And so it begins

So Silvy does has some sense, and Archer is becoming her new bud. RD is awesome but easily distracted, Big Mac can sing... good chapter

This is only going to get better.

I like how you aren't neglecting a single character either. It's a lot to work with, but it ensures that there's never a dull moment or a slow chapter either. The best part is, we've got a whole slew of chapters to look forward to full of character interaction.

Don't stop.

I'm rather enjoying the depth we are seeing of each character as the story goes on. Well done!

Looks like rainbow dash gave that little shit what she deserved

I like this idea.

They are so doomed.

How will the other campers do with those two being sprayed by a skunk?  I hope to see the next chapter.

>>152903152903

It would be a pleasant surprise if Snails talent was french cuisine

Darn it. A few days? How am I gonna survive without this fic?!

Characters are excellent as always. The description is easy to flow with and not too overly complicated, but still well done.

I'm gonna make a prediction here and say that they're going to encounter a bear, and Macintosh will have to fight it. And it will be awesome.

See ya in a few days.

Good fic, I can't wait until you get back for more. Good characterization, yada, yada, yada... Some nice jokes between the campers, yada, yada, yada. Here, have a snail.

Image: http://www.snail-world.com/images/snail-leave-300.jpg

Great chapter, ok so it seems that the youngins aren't going to maim each other and Silvy is a good pony. And the MacDash... good job.

And then Luna comes in to DOUBLE TEH FUN!

Once again well done!

>>159969159969 I can thank King Cheetah for that idea

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6618097/

also thank him for the Snappil Bloom pairing

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6602938/

Oh my a belching contest... yeah that is something I could see Rainbow doing, amazing the Silvy won.

>>162712162712

It's always the quiet ones that surprise you.

Awww yeah. I was a little surprised to see this updated before your trip, but I was satisfied all the same.

Still no complaints about the story. Everything is top notch. The spacing is a little hard to ignore, but I can live with it.

Totally gonna track this to the end of times.

Psst. I know who she was dreaming about.

It would be funnier if he said "My dear sister, I'm quite appalled that you would have such vulgar thoughts."

Great start, though!

this is going to be awesome

hope you have fun on your trip

Keep up the good work.

Interesting.  Keep up the good work.

oh man cant wait the next update lol really good story i'm tracking since i read the first chapter, i like all the characters and how you make silver spoon be nice but still need some work with snails i see, and want to see what its going to happen with Big mac and Rainbow .

Well as i said before cant wait for the next update

Pipsqueak is a pimp  ..........

Pimpsqueak!

I am so happy to see that this has updated.

So far so good. I can only say that I want to see what happens next.

All my yay.

“Two words my little ones: Prank. War.”

OH MY GOD cant wait for see more of this

>>193144193144

He be getting all the fillies.

I'm glad I decided to give this a try! It made for some very well-written late night reading. I can't wait to actually read in the day! Please do keep this supply of epic story writing coming! I can't wait for the next chapter. I also like the idea of Silver Spoon being rehabilitated, in a way. Good show!

“Two words my little ones: Prank. War.”

Image: http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/a-mother-of-god-super-2.jpg

Great stuff so far, keep up the good work.

ah young love/angst/drama/comedy.

also, i keep seeing pip as a ponyfied Negi Springfield. and i don't  know why.

Gee I wonder where that song came from... Still a good choice.

Damn, that is on hay of a chapter. Believable in almost every way, and prank... I'm pretty sure their flanks are going to be toast for that. The fighting, a bit sudden but under the circumstances it is understandable... plus I look at the napping thing as part of the Pegasi physiology.

Great chapter, and hope that this get resolved quickly.

In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,

Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon

ooo. Wonderful, amazing conflict.

I was all aboard when this looked to be a nice, feel good story.

I am three times more interested now.

Shoot, their tempers exploded then exploded again! I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Keep up the excellent work, it's appreciated.  

everything was fine and suddenly

NOOOO PLEASE i dont want to see them fight any more *cryes

lol cant wait to see how this will solve keep up the good work

That tip about moss--- it will get your butt LOST.

It doesn't grow on the north side of the tree, it grows on the SHADED side of the tree.... which in the Northern hemisphere is the North side, and in the Southern hemisphere the South side, but circumstances (such as a densely wooded forest!) will result on it growing on ALL sides.

Big Macintosh tossed Rainbow a grin. “Sounds like yer gonna have to give them something to convince them.”

Rainbow gave her junior co-counselor an even look. “Really. Like what?”

“Maaaaybe you should offer them something. Something…cool.”

In my head: "How about survival?" Rainbow Dash growled, staring hard at the group of foals. "Survival's pretty cool."

Dunno why, but the RD in my head went full-on demonic at that point. Distorted voice, flaming eyes and everything.

Considering seeking psychological help to deal with this problem.

I am really digging the fic, I am just wondering if MacDash is happening because I could always have more of that. Or because of how RD asks BigMac about Applejack are you reffering to a possible Appledash ship? Or will I have to just wait and see..

Anyways, I am really enjoying this fic!

Lover's quarrel?

>>222098222098 Nah. No AppleDash here. She's not in the characters list, and the author is a member of my MacDash club.

Still going strongly here. Still a few grammar errors here and there. I was expecting the bouquet to be switched around the other way, strengthening their romance. But I believe this is the first conflict I've seen between these two written in a fic. Almost scary.

Keep writing. I'll keep reading.

I am interested to see the coming chapters.

Man, this is super cute so far.

Ah man, this chapter is sad! Poor Dinky! Poor Pip! Poor everyone!

Gosh, this is really good. You're dialogue for the characters if fantastic and the tension you've created is good too! I can't wait to read more.

Aww yeah, made me day! MacDash is best ship!

OH Celestia. This and At Home on the Range updating in the same day? It's Valentine's Day all over again!

Dialogue continues to be fulfilling. Not a single character has been forgotten or neglected. The only oddball out here is Snails, who seems to be missing out on the development here. I wonder, if Big Mac and Dash end up getting together halfway through the trip, will we be seeing more into Snails' mind as a consequence? Shenanigans! Tomfoolery! Aftermath! If this comes to pass, there will be a lot of potential to squeeze out of this as the fic wraps up!

...Or it'll end on a soft note. And then I'll look like a fool for assuming as much.

I REGRET NOTHING.

Update when you can. I must have more.

>>249610249610

Thank you very much for your review! So glad to make your day.

My dear reviewer, who said anything about this story wrapping up?

>>249610249610 Indeed, both storys updated? and they say that christmass is in december

“Dinky hates me.” His eyes watered.

“Oh.” Snails blinked slowly. “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah.” They paused. Guy talk at its finest.

PRICELESS

Loved the whole chapter and i specially loved big mac he is pure awesome

Cant wait for your next update

Squee!

I mirror BlackM's sentiments. Both updates make me very happy.

I, for one, welcome our new MacDash overlords.

Make that a third happy person. A Camping We Will Go+At Home on the Range= ma a very happy brony!

I love your Snails. :) He reminds me of people I know.

I'm glad everyone is happy again. And now, I Must go read this Home on the Range everyone is talking about.

Very awesome. I find this story to be very enjoyable to read

Omg amazing!

And first to boot!

:3

OH YES UPDATED

*reads

Oh My GOD

SO COOL

loved the truth or dare game and how Silver Spoon is being now she is so nice

Pipsqueak i just draw him like a stallion today and i agree with Rainbow Dash

and Snails asking that he needs more hugs

the whole massage thing... i was like "what da clopfic is this?" but laughed like crazy

and that ending really cool, i know no one cant resist that much of big mac swag

yes

yes.

Yes

Yes.

Yes?

Yes

Yes

YES

YES!!

*ahem*

I enjoyed this chapter.

But now that we're at the apex of the fic, I'll say right now that one of your consistent problems has been a few grammar errors. They're minor, but they're frequent. Be sure to reread your stories to sift out any off spelled words. And don't complain about the length, I've done so for chapters capping at 2,000-3,000 words and more.

Lastly, spacing out the dialogue with reactions and emotions is important for bonding scenes like this. Only the important bits must be included and not left out in order to make a better impact and lasting impression. You did good here, just saying it can be better.

2 ponies down, six more to go (in the way of completing their development).

All I can think of is three words: best chapter ever! And yeah, don't worry about the length. If anything, I got even more excited when I saw the size!

Excellent, I request more!!

Opposites attract.

>>286673286673 I cannot resist...

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

read the end and was like HELLLSSSSS YESSSSSSS

Now they kiss! Took them long enough!

This fic is amazing. Just plain amazing.

The pacing's good, I like the plot, the characters developed in the show are in character, the newly developed background characters have good personalities and complement each other well. I really can't find anything to criticize.

Keep writing, my good author, because you have the talent!

OHHHH boy. Here we go.

The fact that even though I read this chapter when it first came out, and I'm still going back to read the dialogue and scene with Rainbow and Big Mac (for probably the 6th time mind you) speaks volumes of this chapter.

Well done sir

Great chapter. Well done!

“..and THAT’S why you never break a Pinkie Promise.” Rainbow Dash finished with a menacing grin, all six little ponies huddled together and shaking in their horseshoes.

Why do i feel as if she just told them Cupcakes?

Update! WOO! *cough*

Really liked the feel this one had. The interaction between Rainbow and Big Mac was very awesome.

Another splendid chapter

“Kin you do me a lil ol’ favor?” Mac crooned gently.

Rainbow’s wings twitched. “Ooooh, name it!”

“…Can you ----->tell <---- (that doesnt go there )be the one to tell AJ about us?”

“O-oh FORGET IT!” Rainbow’s eyes snapped open wide. “Not a chance!”

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA almost die with that

oh big mac and  Rainbow i love it OMG

and Princess Luna been taken LOL

The girls scene was really cool, they are acting like any little girl would and that gives a really special touch to any story and i see that we got somepony in your heart silverspoon

And that ending poor snails and now a timberwolf hunting him i guess i know who will buck the hell out of that beast

I was wondering why took so long to update but i got to say it worth the wait, and i will tell you take any time you need to keep up the AWESOME work you are doing

my rate is: AWESOME! 100/5 lol

Well hey, I've been acknowledged. /ego

But now that I've read it, my part of the fic stands out the most, and not in a good way. Not because the style is dramatically different, rather, it doesn't feel very necessary in the chapter. I'm glad to have been acknowledged and played a part in this update (I wrote and sent it yesterday), it doesn't feel like it was necessary here. Snails part was just wake up, sees them kissing, runs away, and get in trouble. The in depth look into his head was nice, but it didn't feel necessary, so it bugs me a lot.

I had sent the piece to you just as a little gift for writing a great story. Thanks for including it, but you seemed to have lost a bit of quality as a result. Flattery is great and all, but don't ever write to please one person or all of them. The purpose of writing gets lost.

So my advice would be maybe to look over this story again and trying to rewrite Snails portion independently. My contribution isn't totally necessary for this chapter, so it is suggested to find a way to retract it, which shouldn't be too hard. I'd rather see you writing from your own virtue than someone else's.

Now, onto the actual critique of the chapter. I must say the first thing that stood out to me was the afterkiss. When it comes to MacDash, I like open interpretations, so the initial impression was that the feelings and words were dragging on. But now that I'm giving it a second thought, it's purpose was just having some more fun with their characters, which I wholly welcome. I usually enjoy the preromance of MacDash, so this bit was a first for me to process. Glad it was the first, though, because it was sweet and in character.

Secondly, the spelling errors in this chapter...wait a minute. There were NO spelling errors! Looks to me like someone took the time to look over their writing. Excellent. But be sure to take the opportunity to look at the grammar of things, and the fluidity of sentences.

Lastly, I had a problem with the girl's part, all because I was expecting Snails part I wrote in my head, and the setting was originally morning whereas here it was just a few minutes after the kids went to bed. Taking the contribution of mine out of the equation, and the setting flows more naturally. It's more of a personal error, but a direct one from the major problem. Not that it wasn't nice or anything.

All in all, it was a great chapter, but I highly suggest looking over Snails segment once again. Again, thank you for including my fanficlet, but it wasn't necessary and may have cost you a bit of writing quality, which, as a writer, I cannot simply disregard. Write your own story. Not for someone else. It's good to write from inspiration, but it should be fueled from resolve.

Keep writing.

P.S. For anyone curious, I will be uploading the original fanficlet onto my blog in a few minutes, for those that wonder what spurred this update.

Personally I think the look inside Snail's mind was needed.He and Snips are really under-utilized characters in the show.

Had to take a look at this story based on BlackM's recommendation, and I am glad I did, it has been very entertaining so far. Tracked and favorited.

Aw poor Snails. What a way to find out

this is a fanfic. it is made of WIN and zapapples.

>>393193393193

zapapples because RD and Mac

>>401685401685 Do I end the comments on stories?

first fight as a couple is over which one is going to get bandaged up from their injuries first, AND IT WAS A TIE. You, sir or madame, are a shipping genius. These two would totally do that.

Is the &&& at the end there really necessary, or did something get cut off?

omg that ending that would totally happen with this 2

and that fight, god i cant stop loving this fic, cant wait for your next update

Ahaha, Nice!

I want MORE!

I love MacinDash so much, they go so well together.

>>148875148875

Okay, someone simply MUST expand on this idea. We need to see a Dashie Daycare story, guise. That would be so awesome.

>>425796425796

I've had an idea kicking around in my brain about Dash babysitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders.  So far I haven't developed it beyond, "ends with Dash a crying, hysterical wreck."

It's funny, a lot of fans have said Dash would make a terrible parent and I can see why Dash's arrogance and seemingly lackadaisical attitude.  Yet one friend whom I introduced to the cartoon insists she would make an AWESOME Mom.  Said friend is also a mother herself and has had a fair bit of experience looking after other kids too.

>>425844425844

I agree with your friend; Dash would make a great mom.

As to your story idea, I think that ending could use some work. Just about anypony else would be driven to distraction and insanity by the CMC, but I think Dash would be able to pull through, not least because she has absolute control over their most excitable member.

"Hey Scoots, if you can keep quiet for an hour I'll show you an awesome trick."

Somefillies need a lecture on how pranks are not meant to be used for getting petty vengeance on somepony... Mutual fun and amusement are not had when one side is attempting to 'punish' the other.

Oh, this looks promising.

Spoony?

SPOONY?

Aw, crap... if she starts turning into Doctor Insano, it might stink for Ponyville, but this fic will become incredibly awesome.

I mean, it's really good now- but Doctor Insano? That's a whole bag of crazy in a small area.